Can y’all believe it? Spring is here! And if there’s one thing that a lot of folks tend to do around this time, it’s some sort of thorough cleaning of their home; sometimes even their life (I’ll be penning on some of that in the weeks to come) — and what that is called is “spring cleaning.”
I think that term caught on because there’s something about the spring season that feels fresh and new, even more than New Year's Day does. And when we’re in that kind of head and heart space, it gives us the energy and focus to want to make everything in our life as immaculate as possible.
In honor of all that, why not use the following few months (spring ends on June 20, 2024, by the way) to get your house and relationships right and use this as an opportunity to “spring clean” your hair? If you’re totally down and would like a few tips, I’ve got 12 that will have your tresses totally ready for what the spring season has in store for you. Guaranteed.
1. Toss (Most of) What You Haven’t Used Since This Time Last Year
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A few years back, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?” Something that I actually didn’t mention was hair products; however, believe it or not, they have a shelf life too. While items that haven’t been opened may last up to three years, a safe rule is if you have used something, after about 12-18 months, you should probably toss it — unless there is an expiration date that says otherwise (yep, some hair items actually come with those). Chile, this one rule alone can keep you from becoming (or remaining) a product junkie (check out “Resolving To Kick Your Product Junkie Habit? Here's Your Game Plan.”), if that is indeed something that you struggle with.
2. Up Your Vitamin B7 Intake
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Yeah, don’t get me started on how Westernized medicine will push pharma down our throats while, at the same time, saying that many vitamin supplements don’t work. That’s literally what many folks claim when it comes to hair nutrients. Personally, since I’ve been taking my own hair growth vitamins, I’ve noticed that my hair is much stronger — but hey, that’s just me. And what is the main nutrient in my own product? Biotin.
Long story short, since hair is mostly made up of the protein keratin and biotin (which is another name for vitamin B7) helps with the production of keratin, I’m sure you can see why it’s so essential, especially if you’re looking to prevent hair loss. For the record, foods that are a solid source of biotin include spinach, almonds, sweet potatoes, salmon, and bananas.
3. Detox Your Scalp
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It can’t be said enough that your scalp is the foundation of your hair, so it needs to be handled with extreme care. One way to do that is by detoxing it (check out “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”). Since dead skin cells, dandruff, sweat, hair products, and all kinds of other gunk can pile up and (potentially) clog your hair follicles, you want to make sure to keep your scalp as clean, clear, and healthy as possible.
You can do this by purchasing a scalp exfoliant product, going the DIY route with some salt or sugar, or you can use something like a hair product that’s specifically made to care for your scalp, like Taraji P. Henson’s Master Cleanse scalp treatment. I purchased it on the fly one day and have been sold on it ever since. Listen, the tingling feeling that it provides alone had me sold. Anyway, if you’re wondering how often you should do some scalp detoxing, eh — once every three washes or so should do the trick.
4. Massage Your Scalp with an Essential Oil Blend
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Speaking of your hair’s foundation, aside from the fact that a scalp massage can perform miracles when it comes to reducing your stress levels because it helps to draw blood to your hair follicles (which ultimately gives them the nutrients that they need), applying the tip of your fingers or a scalp massager to your head can also promote hair growth. My two cents would be to apply essential oil to a carrier oil like sweet almond (a hydrator), avocado (it’s a good source of biotin), or grapeseed (it’s filled with vitamin E), warm the combo up and get to massaging.
Why an essential oil? Well, for example, lavender contains antimicrobial and antibacterial properties, ylang-ylang soothes a dry scalp, and thyme stimulates the scalp while promoting hair growth.
5. Infuse Hibiscus Flowers to Soothe Dandruff
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Although hibiscus flowers typically are known to be early-June flowers, since that is technically still the spring season, I had to shout them out in this piece for one main reason. Did you know that there are some hair experts who are sold on the fact that if you turn the flowers into a type of hair paste, they can help to bring relief to dandruff flakes and irritation? Since it also helps with hair growth as well as preventing hair loss, definitely infuse some of your own hibiscus petals once June rolls around. In the meantime, hibiscus oil can get you some pretty good results too.
6. Use Coconut Milk to Hydrate Your Hair
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As far as milk alternatives go, personally, I’m an oat milk kind of girl; however, I’ve tried coconut milk before and it’s cool. Health benefits wise, it’s full of protein, low in sugar, and it can help to keep your cholesterol levels down while giving you a boost of energy (especially if you like to work out). As far as your tresses go, not only is it basically a mega-vitamin for it, but your hair will also benefit from its fatty acids, protein, and ability to deeply hydrate your hair. Since coconut milk also contains anti-inflammatory properties, consider applying it as a conditioning treatment or hair rinse if you’ve got some sort of scalp irritation going on.
7. Try a DIY Deep Moisturizing Hair Mask
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Something that I must admit I don’t do nearly as much as I should, is apply a hair mask to my hair. I really need to get on that this spring, though, because there are all kinds of benefits that come with adding this extra step. Since a hair mask is basically seen as a deep conditioning type of hair treatment and our hair is naturally drier (due to our curlier hair texture and it being more challenging for our natural sebum to cover our tresses from root to tip), hair masks are able to do everything from deeply moisturize and stimulate hair growth to reduce frizz and help to prevent split ends. This is another one of those products that you can get pre-made. Still, if you’d prefer to make one yourself, Byrdie has 17 recipes you can try here, while Self has 12 recipes you can check out here.
8. Don’t Forget About an Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse
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As far as this list goes, while I can vouch for pretty much all of them, one that I’m a big fan of is using apple cider vinegar as a hair clarifier. Meaning, that if you’ve got some build-up on your locks and you want your hair to feel super clean without being dried out from the sulfates of shampoo, after washing your hair, rinse it off with some apple cider vinegar. Not only will it deeply cleanse your hair, apple cider vinegar will bring relief to an itchy scalp, add shine to your tresses, and it can keep the pH balance of your hair where it needs to be as well.
Simply add around three tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to a 16-ounce glass of water and run it over your hair after washing it. Let it sit for a minute or two, and then rinse again. Some people say to do it after conditioning your hair as well. I prefer to do it in between shampooing and conditioning, though. To each their own.
9. Dust Your Ends. Then Seal Them with Cranberry Seed Oil.
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I can’t tell you the last time that I’ve seen a professional stylist. Not that I’m endorsing not seeing one or anything; it’s just that, one of the gifts God gave me was the natural ability to do hair. So much, in fact, that the last stylist I had used to recommend me to naturalistas for a trim or cut. And so, yes, I trim my own hair. That way, I don’t have to worry about too much being “accidentally” (it’s in quotes because y’all already know how some stylists do) removing more hair than what was necessary. To tell you the truth, most times, what I do doesn’t even qualify as a trim; it’s more like “end dusting” which is something you can (probably) do for yourself with a bit of patience, some sharp shears and a bit of practice.
Dusting is all about simply removing fairy knots or taking off as little of your ends as possible so that you can maintain length retention while still keeping your hair healthy. Once you’re done doing that, treat your ends by sealing them with some cranberry seed oil. Since it’s also loaded with fatty acids as well as Vitamin E, it will help to keep your ends smooth, soft, and resilient when it comes to avoiding breakage.
10. Grow Your Locks with Citrus Essential Oils
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Since citrus fruit is in season during the spring, I definitely had to shout out the ways that they can benefit your hair. Thanks to the antibiotics and vitamin C that’s in them, your scalp will remain healthy. Grapefruit oil, specifically, has a reputation for combating dandruff. Lemon oil can keep your sebum levels in balance so that your hair doesn’t appear frizzy. Some say that orange oil can help to strengthen your hair. And listen, since citrus oils are also proven to reduce anxiety and stress levels — how can you go wrong by adding them to your hair care regimen?
11. Look for Products That Contain Polymers to Reduce Frizz
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As the weather begins to warm up and it takes longer for the sun to set, the “pro” is your hair is able to get more vitamin D (which means that your hair follicles will remain in good condition); the “con” is more humidity creates more frizz. Frizz is problematic because it can be a sign of dryness or damage, it can affect your curl definition (if you rock natural hair) and create tangles that make it hard to style it — and that could ultimately cause breakage.
Something that helps to keep frizz down to a minimum is hair products that contain polymers. I don’t want to keep y’all in a mini-science class, so I’ll just say that one of the main purposes of polymers is they help the cuticles of your hair to lie flat. Off top, a type of product that would be considered a polymer is silicone. If you decide to use or try it, just remember to take the “less is more” approach. A little is bomb; a lot can cause hair dryness in its own way.
12. Add a “Spring Scent” to Your Hair
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One of the biggest “mistakes” that I think a lot of women make when it comes to their hair is not being intentional about making sure that it smells divine on a daily basis. Something that can make that happen is finding an essential oil (I think it’s wiser than perfume because the alcohol in perfume can dry your hair out), in a scent that you like, putting a few drops into your hands, rubbing them together and then smoothing your hair with the oil before heading out for the day. If you want to stick with a spring theme, some fragrances to consider include sweet orange, rosemary, bergamot, lemon, lime, lavender, and peppermint.
BONUS: If You Plan to Go Up a Shade (or Two), Read This
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It’s not uncommon for people to want to darken their hair during fall and winter and then lighten them up in the spring and summertime. Keeping that in mind, if this is the spring season when you want to follow hair color trends and go the kind of blonde that looks almost white or something softer like ginger or caramel — please make sure that you see a professional. Listen, I used to dye my hair almost as much as I changed my clothes, and while it was super short, it was all good.
Whenever I decided to grow it out? On some levels, even to this day, parts of my hair and scalp are still recovering. SMDH. For those of you who aren’t gonna listen to me, at least go to the 90th degree on the deep conditioning tip. There is no way that your hair can be permanently colored and not experience dryness, and that can lead to breakage at one point. I would just hate for you to have bomb ass color and not much length to show for it. Feel me?
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There you have it: 12 ways to spring clean your hair. So, before hitting that kitchen or your bedroom with some white vinegar (the real ones know), get into your locks first. Everything seems easier when our hair is in good shape. Then treat yourself to some tulips, peonies, or lilacs (all spring flowers) and officially enjoy the beginnings of spring!
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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