

The strong Black woman trope has had us in a chokehold for years but a new movement has been overtaking our social media feeds as the cure, the soft life. Since the soft life has become a trending topic, there have been many misconceptions about the term and what it truly means to live softly. The founder of Black Girl's Healing House, Delilah Antionette, promotes this innovative way of thinking in her popular Facebook group and even sees it as a form of wellness.
If you are wanting to manifest a soft life in 2023, Delilah has the perfect tips for you. xoNecole spoke with the wellness entrepreneur about being a Black woman in the holistic space, creating a platform for Black women to feel seen, and how you can join the soft life.
xoNecole: Tell us a little about yourself and how Black Girl’s Healing House started.
Delilah Antionette: I started my healing journey a few years ago after I graduated from college. I was struggling with anxiety and depression and finding mental healthcare was difficult for me. I ran into challenges such as affordability and cultural competency so I turned to holistic wellness. I got into crystals, the chakra system, yoga, self-development, and astrology.
But, I found that in the wellness industry, there were not many representations of me. I would often be the only Black girl in class, I would get awkward looks and racially profiled. I didn’t necessarily feel safe in these healing spaces.
I hoped that I could also find a community while I was on this journey but there weren’t any there yet so I created Black Girl’s Healing House-- the Facebook group.
Within years we’ve grown to over 60,000 Black women around the world who are also on this journey of healing.
xoN: 'Soft life' has been a buzzword in 2022 but there have been many misconceptions about it such as it is seen as a luxury and not a necessity. What is a soft life and what isn’t a soft life?
DA: I see this argument a lot in our community and some would define it as luxury and femininity, and others just do not understand the need for Black women to be soft. I am so for the soft life. I do not wish to ever struggle or get things [muddy.] It’s exhausting.
For me, when I think of the soft life I think of healing. I think about letting go of the version of myself that I created for my survival. And oftentimes when we’ve been through trauma we create tough exteriors to protect us from getting hurt again. I want to be able to be more vulnerable yet have healthy boundaries, I want to have strong bonds with people and I want to be kinder to myself. I want to experience all of the little luxuries that life has to offer and I feel that I can achieve this through softness.
I believe that working towards a soft life is generationally healing. The women in my family could never experience softness and I hate that. I want my children to have that privilege so that they can experience the highest level of their potential.
"When I think of soft life I think of healing. I think about letting go of the version of myself that I created for my survival."
xoN: How does the soft life relate to wellness?
DA: Soft life promotes a healthier way of being. Soft life teaches you to slow down and ground yourself. You learn to stop prioritizing hustling and start prioritizing flow state which can be achieved through self-care. And again healing plays a major role in your ability to have a soft life.
xoN: What are five ways Black women can manifest a soft life in 2023?
DA: Starting therapy. Self-care. Movement, such as yoga or Pilates. Joining a supportive community. Getting [in tune] with your intuition.
xoN: What does Black Girl’s Healing House have in store for 2023?
DA: Black Girl’s Healing House is working on building our directory of Black female holistic wellness professionals for our community. While admiring our Facebook group, I saw that our members were always in search of holistic therapists, Black girl-friendly yoga classes, and wellness spas and I was so lucky to meet so many healers in our community. So I created a platform where Black women can find culturally competent holistic care.
On our website blackgirlshealinghouse.com you would be able to search for mental health professionals, doulas and midwives, dermatologists, spas, and fitness classes in your local area.
For more of Delilah on Facebook and Instagram @blackgirlshealinghouse.
Feature image courtesy of Delilah Antionette
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Tracee Ellis Ross Is Still Living A 'Robust' Life Despite Sometimes Grieving Not Being Partnered
Tracee Ellis Ross sat down with former first lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson for their IMO podcast to have a candid discussion about dating, marriage, and family. At 52, the beloved actress is single, but is still open to finding her person. However, she realizes that she has to navigate dating differently, describing herself as a "unicorn."
“I’m a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman, so it's gonna take a unique person,” she explained. "And in the meantime, I've really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting."
Calling herself a "choiceful woman," she has had to push against culture norms and found that many of her experiences with men around her age were challenging due to the toxic masculinity they had been raised in. Many of their views about relationships conflicts with how she lives her life, so she tends to date younger.
“It's not just that I'm older. I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and who lives a very full, just robust life," she said.
Regardless if they're younger or older, Tracee has made it clear that she isn't settling and won't be in a relationship for the sake of having a partner. Even when loneliness creeps.
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. At all, I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better, it can’t just be ‘I’m in a relationship just to be in a relationship,” she said.
Fans have watched pieces of Tracee's life played out on social media and TV. Just one look at her Instagram, you see that the black-ish star lives her life to fullest and it's filled with fashion, family, and all-round fabulousness.
"Even though the grief does emerge, and that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I think I woke up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up one morning and be like I’m gonna mess this day up. So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”
She added, “And sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done—the courage that I’ve had to have, what I had to learn to how to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind. It's built a really beautiful experience around me and I have incredible friends."
The Black Mirror actress has spoken about dating before and has always stated that she doesn't allow singleness stop her from living her best life.
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Feature image by Raymond Hall/GC Images