

A night out on the town with a good girlfriend in West Hollywood is how I met her.
To be fair, it was a gay nightclub. It wasn't out of the norm for me. Most of my teenage years and adult life have been spent at LGBTQ events because the majority of my friends are lesbians.
She and I drunkenly exchanged IG accounts and later on that week, and days later, phone numbers were shared as a result of us sliding in each other's DMs.
I should have run for the hills during the first week for many reasons. Am I the only one that feels like being "babe" right away is a sign of crazy? I mean, unless they are super fine or something and she was cute or whatever, but she was still…she.
I didn't realize how much of a she, she really was until she was screaming in my bed and her vagina was literally contracting on my face though.
I'm sorry if that last sentence startled you but the whole situation startled me. How did I let things get here? I initially knew I wasn't interested when she started acting the same way I acted with men. In fact, I felt like I was looking in a mirror at myself most days and the phrase, "You're tripping," really came full circle for me during our time spent together.
At one point, I had even asked if she was "on her period or something."
Gradually, I progressed more and more into being a f*ckboy - but definitely not a lesbian.
The whole thing took place over a course of maybe two weeks. Which is incredibly too short of a time for anything that happened to have transpired. One of my good girlfriends referenced a favorite joke of hers during a briefing of my feelings via phone one day: "What do lesbians bring on a first date? A U-haul truck."
Yes y'all, after spending the night at my place once, she asked me if she could keep a few things at my place because she was downsizing her storage unit. By a few things, I mean actual whole ass furniture. When I said hell to the naw, I think she knew I wasn't as invested in this whole situationship as she was because the vibes changed.
Now, let me tell you about the one and only time she did sleepover.
If I'm being honest, I feel like she set me up, as far as sex was concerned. I do find women attractive, but my desire to pursue a romantic friendship with her was based on her more masculine traits and characteristics.
We even discussed how she preferred to not be touched down there and was more of a pleaser. It sounded perfect. I'm not much of a vagina toucher outside of the occasional threesome or well, my own.
So, per our discussions, I was genuinely confused after two or three jack and cokes how aggressive she was about pushing my face down under. I mean, I handled my business but...it was just so fleshy, stubbly, and moist - it was nothing at all like the oral I was used to.
When all was said and done, she collapsed onto my chest with the goofiest smile. She kept emphasizing how there was no way I could have never been intimate with just one girl before.
Truthfully, I'm glad that I now know that if needed, I absolutely can rock a girl's world - even if I'm cringing the entire time. I mean, I don't think I could compete in the Vagina Olympics or anything but I'm not too shabby either!
Oh, but wait. That same night, I caught her going through my phone when I came out of the bathroom. In the morning, I woke up to her fresh out of the shower, walking around in her bra and panties looking comfortable as ever. She asked me if I wanted her to make me something to eat.
Inside, I was screaming, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE WOMAN! I knew that once she was gone, I might have to ghost her forever. It was just too much for me.
She eventually got the hint and stopped calling. We unfollowed each other on the gram. It was done. Phew.
In self-reflection, I know this whole thing transpired out of loneliness on my end and overall, this girl truly was lovely. Aside from the clingy, quickly obsessed, and having a vagina thing, it could have been great!
Like all life experiences, I did take away some valuable lessons.
The first being how unattractive neediness can come off to a partner. There is something to be said about someone checking in with you regularly, but quite another to demand responses and answers in unreasonable amounts of time. Another take on this could be if you don't feel like you are getting enough attention, maybe the other person just don't like you in that kind of way. I can't say for sure that had I been fully interested in her, those behaviors would not have agitated me so much. But unwanted, neediness definitely further widened the wedge between my interest in her and my disinterest in her.
Then, in conflict with the amount of joy I find in a night out in West Hollywood, the most important lesson I took away here is this:
I, Jessica Schrody, lover of all things Davion, Lamont, and joysticks, am definitely not a lesbian.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissons@xonecole.com
Featured image by Shutterstock
Jessica Rose Schrody is a writer and copywriter based in Los Angeles. As a single mother, Jessica has a lot of experience concerning the ups and downs of parenting, with all the challenges it brings, but also all the joys and satisfaction! She set out to create a blog, where she connects with a like-minded audience, sharing her own stories, experiences, tips, insights, and more. You can also find her on IG @thisisjessicarose and Twitter @thisisjessrose.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Tisha Campbell Shares Why She Got A Mommy Makeover & And We’re Here For The Transparency
Tisha Campbell is still here. Here. Here. Here. (If you know, you know.) The 56-year-old actress and singer is living her life loudly and without apology, all while keeping it real about the work she's had done.
While gracing the 2025 BET Awards red carpet last week, the My Wife & Kids alum let it be known that she has nothing to hide as she revealed to Entertainment Tonight that she recently had a mommy makeover. "I had extra skin from the baby and a little bit of droppage here and a little bit of droppage there," she shared with the outlet as an exclusive. "They tighten me together."
The mother of two shared that changing her body wasn't about anyone else; it was first and foremost about pleasing herself. "I'm a single mom, not ready for dating," she added. "But I just wanted to feel good for me."
Why Tisha Campbell Chose to Share About Her Plastic Surgery
Tisha isn't new to keeping it a buck and has always been transparent about subjects that others might shy away from, whether it's about her decision to walk away from the show that put her on the map as an actor or her decision to walk away from a 22-year marriage to ex-husband Duane Martin. Cosmetic surgery is simply another topic for the Tisha to be open about.
Even in a post-BBL era, cosmetic procedures are something that is still taboo to talk about, especially among women in Hollywood who have spent decades in the public eye, like Tisha. The self-proclaimed "open book" shared her why behind disclosing her surgery:
"I just think it's more important for people to know why one does it. If you wanna feel good about you. And I just wanted to be honest about it," she told ET. "I think it's more important, to be honest, to know that you know I didn't all this by myself. It's nice to be a little bit more snatched around that area."
Tisha Campbell is serving confidence and honesty about her mommy makeover 👶✨ #BETAwards #tishacampbell #kyliejenner #mommymakeover
So, What Is a Mommy Makeover?
For those who are unfamiliar, a "mommy makeover" refers to a combination of cosmetic procedures and can differ for every woman depending on her personal goals. While the overarching intention of a mommy makeover is often to "restore" their bodies to their "pre-baby" status, the procedures are customizable and ultimately based on what feels good to her personally.
This might look like a tummy tuck or liposuction, a breast lift, reduction, or augmentation, a labiaplasty, or any other nips and tucks that support how they feel in their bodies after giving birth.
What stood out in Tisha's clip wasn't just her transparency in action, but also the intention behind her decision to have surgery. She waited until her sons Xen, 23, and Ezekiel,15, were older to have her procedure and made it clear that she centered herself in her choice. In her new season life, this is how she is honoring herself.
"For me. It's not for everybody, it's for me."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Rob Latour/Shutterstock