5 Reasons You're Still Single
In the years that I've spent navigating through dating app profiles and YouTube tutorials on "how to be un-single", I've noticed a common trend: single women tend to get their advice on being single from married women.
Now, although it can be wise to take heed to these ladies' advice since they've obviously found success in the area, the time has come for single women to reclaim the narrative surrounding what it means to be single in 2018.
You see, I view dating the same way I view technology: both landscapes are changing at such a rapid rate that the advice you receive from someone who's been married since 2004 is the equivalent of trying to use a Motorola Razor to Facetime a loved one: the form just doesn't fit the function. Am I suggesting that you totally dismiss the wise counsel of your counterparts in committed relationships? Well, sort of… Let's just say instead of throwing away all of the advice that you've received up to this point, we're just removing some bugs. Consider this your upgrade.
The best place to start when it comes to shifting the narrative is to come into agreement that most – if not all – of us are doing this whole "single and dating" thing totally wrong.
Yep, I said it.
This could very well be at no fault of your own and could simply come down to the fact that your dating strategy is obsolete. Fret not. Here's five ways to take your dating tactics from the '99's to the '10's.
You don’t go out.
When was the last time you did something that actually aligned with your deep, personal interests? Like taking a painting class or volunteering at the local Boys and Girls Club? I don't know why in 2018, we're still asking "where are all the good men at?" Contrary to popular singles' propaganda, good guys are everywhere you are and everywhere you should be. Are you always taking the same route to work and never leaving your side of town on the weekends? Instead of sticking to your same ol' tired routine, why not switch it up a bit and go to that after work happy hour or even try that new spinning class at the gym? You never know who might be in attendance.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
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This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
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Featured image courtesy
Draya Michele And Jalen Green Address Backlash Over Age Gap In Their Relationship
Romantic relationships with significant age gaps often attract heightened attention and scrutiny, especially when they involve an older woman dating a much younger man.
This criticism is usually viewed as a double standard, considering society's general acceptance of couples like Jay-Z and Beyoncé or Julius Tennon and Viola Davis, where the male partners are over a decade older than their female spouses.
The debate surrounding age gaps in celebrity relationships reignited in March when Draya Michele, a 39-year-old former reality star and entrepreneur, revealed she was expecting her first child with her boyfriend, 22-year-old Houston Rockets player Jalen Green, after nearly a year together. Immediately following the announcement, Michele, who has two sons from previous relationships, faced massive backlash due to the couple's 17-year age difference.
In response to the scrutiny, Michele posted a quote on her Instagram story, which has since been deleted, suggesting she was comfortable with being "misunderstood." The post read, "Get comfortable being misunderstood. Only a fraction of people will be able to truly grasp your essence. You are not on anyone else's timeline of comprehension."
Since then, the couple welcomed their daughter in May and maintained a relatively low profile regarding their relationship. However, during a recent outing in Hollywood, Michele and Green shared their thoughts with TMZ about the criticism they have received.
Draya And Jalen On Age-Gap Backlash
When asked about the online chatter surrounding their relationship, Michele revealed the couple's strategy for dealing with negativity. "We try to stay off the internet and not really listen to that kind of stuff," she explained.
Green echoed this sentiment, stating they don't care about the public backlash. The former Basketball Wivesstar elaborated that they strive to live as normally as possible by blocking out the hate.
“We block it out and we mind our business,” she stated.
When questioned about why she was facing scrutiny despite the pair looking the same age, Michele disclosed that the entire ordeal was strange.
“I don’t know what people’s problems is,” she said. “We are two adults– being in love. I don’t know why that would rub people the wrong way. It’s kind of weird. Love is love at the end of the day.”
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Feature image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images