
I'm Finally On The Road To Healing After Having A Miscarriage At 20 Weeks

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer. If you have a story you'd like to share but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
This is Rah Ali's story, as told to Taylor Honore.
As strong as I am as a person; as a woman, the one thing I was always scared of was having a baby. Although I knew that I wanted to have a child, finding out that I was pregnant was still a very scary moment because it was like, it's happening; it's now. So, I needed to adjust myself.
After I got confirmation, I finally accepted it, and I was really happy. But I was also really scared. And then, once I started to get into it, I would watch my stomach, looking for some type of change in my body.
I felt it before I saw it physically.
From there, I was focused on making sure that that this child was stable. I wanted to make sure that I lived away from any type of chaos. I wanted to make sure that she had a big bedroom and she had a playroom. All the things that I didn't need when it was just me, I wanted to make sure that she had. So, I started the process of buying a house and also made sure that I changed the way I was eating. It's just so different. You don't just think about yourself anymore, you really just think about your kid.
I'm a planner and a person who writes down everything and tries my hardest to control the flow of things. I did a lot of planning, but what happened next in my life was something I couldn't prepare for or control.
On May 26, five months into my pregnancy, I suffered a miscarriage.
I was halfway through my pregnancy and I remember I had this app on my phone that would tell me every single week what was happening in my body. I feel like the hardest part was accepting that my daughter is completely... that there is no more. Although I know she's always with me, I just feel like we were like on a journey together and I was excited to meet her. It's hard accepting that she's not here.
After the loss of my child, I overanalyzed everything because I'm not a very vulnerable person… ever. That was really the first time that I got to see myself in that state because things really genuinely don't bother me.
That was the first time I could really say, okay, I'm messed up right now. I'm broken. This is really bad. This is horrible. I can't even breathe. I can't even talk. I can't even, I can't, I can't even believe this. Now there's no, "I'm just going to be hard and strong and I'm the rock that's holding everybody else up."
It just took me to a place where I knew that I needed to prioritize what was important and who was there the most.
At this point in my pregnancy loss journey, I just want to get through it.
I want to work on talking about the healing process because hopefully, that's something that could be helpful to someone else. This is something that's very common, which is something I didn't know and I'm trying to do my part in actually bringing awareness to it because people don't really realize how often it happens. At least if you're informed, you can deal with what you have to deal with. It's not like it won't hurt you, but you at least you'd understand that this is something that can happen. And I wasn't aware of that.
What I'd tell the next woman trying to heal after pregnancy loss is to go to therapy. Talk about what you're feeling. Don't bottle up your emotions, express them and just keep faith. Throughout this experience, there has not been one time where I've questioned God's will. I'm healthy and able to get up and work towards my goals.
You cannot feel sorry for yourself because you're experienced in life.
We jump for joy and thank God when things are great and expect that nothing is going happen in life that you don't agree with or don't think is fair. I think we all experience hardship and we all experience lessons and we need to be thankful for them all and be able to take the good and the bad from it. I can only say what my experience was, which is actually talking, actually crying and working through it. It's nothing that anyone else can do.
You have to work through it. Know that you will get through it and that there will be brighter days ahead.
For more of Rah Ali, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Rah Ali.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Tisha Campbell Shares Why She Got A Mommy Makeover & And We’re Here For The Transparency
Tisha Campbell is still here. Here. Here. Here. (If you know, you know.) The 56-year-old actress and singer is living her life loudly and without apology, all while keeping it real about the work she's had done.
While gracing the 2025 BET Awards red carpet last week, the My Wife & Kids alum let it be known that she has nothing to hide as she revealed to Entertainment Tonight that she recently had a mommy makeover. "I had extra skin from the baby and a little bit of droppage here and a little bit of droppage there," she shared with the outlet as an exclusive. "They tighten me together."
The mother of two shared that changing her body wasn't about anyone else; it was first and foremost about pleasing herself. "I'm a single mom, not ready for dating," she added. "But I just wanted to feel good for me."
Why Tisha Campbell Chose to Share About Her Plastic Surgery
Tisha isn't new to keeping it a buck and has always been transparent about subjects that others might shy away from, whether it's about her decision to walk away from the show that put her on the map as an actor or her decision to walk away from a 22-year marriage to ex-husband Duane Martin. Cosmetic surgery is simply another topic for the Tisha to be open about.
Even in a post-BBL era, cosmetic procedures are something that is still taboo to talk about, especially among women in Hollywood who have spent decades in the public eye, like Tisha. The self-proclaimed "open book" shared her why behind disclosing her surgery:
"I just think it's more important for people to know why one does it. If you wanna feel good about you. And I just wanted to be honest about it," she told ET. "I think it's more important, to be honest, to know that you know I didn't all this by myself. It's nice to be a little bit more snatched around that area."
Tisha Campbell is serving confidence and honesty about her mommy makeover 👶✨ #BETAwards #tishacampbell #kyliejenner #mommymakeover
So, What Is a Mommy Makeover?
For those who are unfamiliar, a "mommy makeover" refers to a combination of cosmetic procedures and can differ for every woman depending on her personal goals. While the overarching intention of a mommy makeover is often to "restore" their bodies to their "pre-baby" status, the procedures are customizable and ultimately based on what feels good to her personally.
This might look like a tummy tuck or liposuction, a breast lift, reduction, or augmentation, a labiaplasty, or any other nips and tucks that support how they feel in their bodies after giving birth.
What stood out in Tisha's clip wasn't just her transparency in action, but also the intention behind her decision to have surgery. She waited until her sons Xen, 23, and Ezekiel,15, were older to have her procedure and made it clear that she centered herself in her choice. In her new season life, this is how she is honoring herself.
"For me. It's not for everybody, it's for me."
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Featured image by Rob Latour/Shutterstock