I'm pretty sure that everyone reading this knows that protein is essential to their overall health and well-being. But have you ever wondered exactly why that is the case? Long story short, protein is a macronutrient that is found in every part of our body because it's a part of every cell. Protein helps to build and repair tissues in our system while also being what helps to make enzymes, hormones, muscle bones and more. Our hair? It's mostly protein. Our nails? They are mostly protein too. Bottom line, there's basically no way we can function properly without protein being a part of our daily diet.
And what has a lot of protein in it? Meat, hands down. Yet what do you do if you happen to be a vegetarian or vegan because, as a woman, you need around 46 grams of protein a day (56 grams if you're a man)? Good question. Luckily, there are several non-animal-related foods that can get you the protein that your body craves without you having to betray your personal eating preferences. As far as the ones that can get you the most protein possible, I've got a list of 12 of 'em right here.
1. Eggs
If you're a vegan, you'll need to pass on eggs because they are a dairy product. But if you're a vegetarian, technically you can eat them because they aren't considered to be what falls into the "animal flesh" category. As far as health benefits go, eggs are high in selenium and riboflavin (Vitamin B2), along with having a good amount of vitamins A and E, folate, calcium and zinc in them. Eggs also contain choline (which helps to build healthy cell membranes), they help to produce "good cholesterol" that can lower heart disease and they have the antioxidants lutein and zeaxanthin in them to help with keeping your vision in peak condition.
Eggs are also dope on the protein tip because one egg contains about six grams of it. Another great thing about eggs is they contain amino acids; ones that your system is able to turn into protein once you consume them.
2. Greek Yogurt
This is another heads up for vegetarians only because Greek yogurt is also a dairy product. If you've ever wondered what makes Greek yogurt different from all of the rest, it's because the whey that is in other yogurts is removed from it. As a result, Greek yogurt doesn't contain any lactose (a sugar that is found in milk). When it comes to Greek yogurt's benefits, it's got calcium, probiotics and Vitamin B12. The combination makes this particular food great for maintaining bone health, boosting metabolism, improving gut health, lowering blood pressure and even helping to treat depression.
And just how much protein is in this kind of yogurt? Oh, it's got a lot! If you eat one container of it, you'll be giving your system somewhere between 14-17 grams of protein. Whew!
3. Sun-Dried Tomatoes
If you keep tomatoes in your refrigerator, they are able to last anywhere from 10-14 days. But if you want to be able to enjoy them longer, one thing you can do is let them dry out in the sun or oven (you can learn how to go the oven route here). Considering this as an alternative is good because tomatoes are full of fiber, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, several forms of Vitamin B and also vitamins C and K. Tomatoes are also a great source of antioxidants which makes them a great fruit to fight off free radicals, reduce bodily inflammation, improve your digestive health and, even boost collagen levels so that your skin looks younger for longer.
When it comes to protein consumption, it doesn't get much better than tomatoes. The reason why I say that is because you can get as much as eight grams of protein for every cup of them that you eat. So, if you put a few of these on a salad, you will have a lot of the protein intake that you need for any particular day.
4. Broccoli
Broccoli is a great source of all kinds of goodness. It's full of vitamins A, C, E, K and iron, calcium, potassium, folic acid and magnesium. So, no wonder broccoli is the kind of veggie that is able to support strong bones, reduce the risk of heart disease and keep your eyes in great shape (thanks to the carotenoids lutein and zeaxanthin that are also in them). As a bonus, broccoli even contains cancer-fighting compounds.
As if all of that wasn't impressive enough, something else that broccoli's got plenty of is protein. As much as five grams per serving (which is a cup). Just make sure that you steam it if you want to get the most out of it. Preparing broccoli any other way can zap some of its nutrients.
5. Oats
If you're someone who has a heaping bowl of oatmeal, at least a couple of times a week, good for you. Oats contain a massive amount of manganese (191 percent of the reference daily intake), along with a high amount of phosphorus, magnesium, copper, fiber, thiamin (Vitamin B1) and some iron and zinc too. Oats will also do your body good because they've got the antioxidants avenanthramides that can lower your blood pressure, improve your blood sugar levels, reduce your colon cancer risk, strengthen your immune system and, because it's high in good carbs, oats can give you a good boost of energy too.
Oats are a good way to get more protein. If you have a half-cup of 'em, you'll get someone around 13 grams. Impressive.
6. Lima Beans
Is it just me or are lima beans a super acquired taste? Either way, in just a sec, I'm gonna blow your mind with how much protein is in this particular vegetable. But first, its other health benefits. As far as vitamins and minerals go, lima beans can get you a good amount of manganese, copper, potassium, phosphorus, iron and folate. These are the kind of beans that can help to lower your blood sugar and cholesterol levels, support your nervous system and, thanks to the fiber that's also in them, lima beans can help to keep you regular while detoxifying your system too.
But here's the real clincher. Guess how much protein is in a half-cup of lima beans? 21 freakin' grams! Yep, that's the most out of any other food on this list and, if you eat a cup of 'em, you've pretty much taken in all of the protein that your body needs for the day. No wonder grandma used to make us eat them so often, huh?
7. Guava
Unlike a lot of fruits that are in their peak during any other season but winter, guava is the opposite. It is at its best between November and April. Guava is a tropical fruit that's really good for you because it's high in Vitamin C, potassium and fiber. It is able to help to lower your blood sugar levels, improve your heart health, boost your digestive health, strengthen your immunity and even lessen the pain of period cramps (how cool is that?).
One of the best things about guava, though, is it's pretty off the charts when it comes to being a wonderful source of protein. While it's a pretty low-calorie fruit (somewhere around 120 calories per cup), you're able to get yourself 4 ½ grams of protein per cup too.
8. Potatoes
Ah, potatoes. Now this is the kind of food that sometimes I've gotta talk myself out of eating (because everything must be done in moderation, right?). I don't know what it is exactly, but whether it's a French fry or a baked one (white or sweet; it doesn't really matter), potatoes just feel so damn comforting. Plus, there are several things that make them good for us. Potatoes are a great source of vitamins B6 and C. Potatoes have a ton of potassium in them (a potato contains more potassium than a banana does). Believe it or not, potatoes are also fat, sodium and cholesterol-free. Added benefits include the fact that potatoes have no gluten in them, can help to fight off free radicals and even has studies stating that they can hinder the growth of liver and colon cancer cells.
Also, no matter how you prefer to prepare your potato, you can get a nice amount of protein from it. In fact, a medium-sized potato will give you around four grams of protein. Dope.
9. Coconut
Coconut, taste wise, is something that is difficult to describe, I won't lie. Personally, I like coconut milk and even dried coconut. It's a food that's considered to be a fruit, nut and seed that contains healthy fats, is high in electrolytes (to keep you hydrated), contains lauric acid (which can fight bacteria in your system), and it has antifungal and antibacterial properties that will fight oral decay and help to prevent bladder infection, kidney disease, thyroid dysfunction and skin and scalp infections too.
Coconut is another food that makes the high-in-protein list because, if you eat a medium-sized coconut, you're actually getting somewhere around 13 grams of protein; that's close to one-third of the daily recommended amount that your system needs.
10. Hemp Seeds
OK, so let me say off top that, although these seeds have the word "hemp" in them, don't let that get you all excited. Hemp seeds are seeds that come from the Cannabis sativa plant and they don't produce any sort of mind-altering effect. Still, if you add these into your diet, they can benefit your health in a myriad of ways. Hemp seeds are a great source of alpha-linolenic acid (which is an omega-3 fatty acid), many forms of Vitamin B, Vitamin E, magnesium, potassium and folate. Eating hemp seeds will help to reduce bodily inflammation, boost heart health, heal acne, reduce symptoms related to rheumatoid arthritis and, they can help to protect your brain as well.
Hemp seeds are really impressive when it comes to how much protein that you can get out of them. You can actually get close to 10 grams of protein if you consume as little as three tablespoons of them. And, since hemp seeds contain all nine essential amino acids, they are the kind of seeds that are on the list of being a superfood too.
11. Green Peas
Green peas are something that I can get down with. Like carrots, they're a semi-sweet veggie. They've got an impressive amount of vitamins A and K as well as folate, fiber, calcium and manganese that work together to do things for your health like helping to protect you from getting heart disease and controlling your blood sugar.
And yes, they are another vegetable that is a good protein source. How much? Well, a half-cup can get you somewhere around four grams which is actually three times more than what a half-cup of carrots will provide.
12. Sprouted Bread
If you've got a craving for a sandwich, don't deprive yourself. Just be intentional to make it out of sprouted bread. What's that? It's bread that has been made from whole grains that have germinated. Sprouted bread is beneficial because, since its grains have literally sprouted, you are able to get more nutritional value when it comes to vitamins B and C and fiber with each slice. Sprouted bread also contains the enzymes phytase and amylase which makes it easier to digest, is lower in gluten and has higher antioxidant levels in it (like beta-carotene) to protect your system from free radicals.
If you opt for eating a sprouted bread brand like Ezekiel Bread, the millet, barley and beans that are in it will give you as much as three grams of protein a slice; that's pretty impressive if you're looking for just one more non-meat way to get your daily protein fix. So, what are you waiting for? Eat up, sis!
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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