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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Why? Because they both address the issue that not all friendships are created equal — and y’all, keeping that in mind is definitely something that can spare you a lot of unnecessary drama and trauma. Yet, even beyond that, I think it’s important to recognize and then accept that just because you and some people have things in common or enjoy spending time together, it doesn’t necessarily or automatically mean that they have earned the honor of actually being your friend (check out “Allow These Things To Happen Before Calling Someone 'Friend'”).
I’m telling you, spend enough time on this earth and you’ll realize that a true friend is rare; however, what isn’t so hard to find are good or even close acquaintances.
So, let’s explore some of the main differences between an acquaintance and a friend. I’m telling you, a simple exercise like this can make your relationships so much easier to deal with and navigate through — because when you’re clear about who and what someone is, you can then manage your expectations and move accordingly (which is a lifesaver in the long run).
The Difference Between an Acquaintance and a Friend
1. Acquaintances Are Casual. Friendships Are Purposeful.
GiphyIf you get nothing else out of this, please hear me when I say that one way to know if someone is truly an individual who needs to be in your life, on an intimate level, is they will reveal or magnify some sort of real purpose for you. While one definition of purpose is "the reason why something exists," another definition is "an intended result" and yes, a friend should be able to check off these boxes.
What I mean by this is, if you were to journal about your actual friends (which isn’t a bad idea, by the way), it shouldn’t take you very long to jot down the clear ways that they help you to become a better person and the things that they’ve added to your life — and indirectly because of that, yes, you should end up becoming stronger in your purpose or better equipped to reach certain goals (because when something or someone makes you better in one way, it tends to have a rippling effect into others).
On the other hand, when it comes to acquaintances, it doesn’t usually go that deep because it doesn’t really matter. Since the dynamic is more casual, if they’re around, cool, and if they’re not…also, cool. You may like spending time with them; however, as far as actually needing them in your life? Eh…probably not.
The point that I’m trying to make here is, that if your life was a long-ass movie about friendships, acquaintances wouldn’t have leading or supporting roles. Nah, they would be more like the extras; close ones? They might have a line or two. Yes, they create a presence — just not a super significant one.
2. Acquaintances Have Walls. Friendships Don’t.
GiphyOne definition of an acquaintance is someone you know; at the same time, they aren’t someone who you are particularly close to. Know what that means to me? An acquaintance is someone who you have some boundaries, limits, and even walls up with. Sure, they’re fun to be around; still, that doesn’t mean that when the two of you hang out, they need to know what’s going on with you and your man or that you’ve been going through a season of feeling kind of low about yourself.
An acquaintance, even a close one, is someone who you can exchange superficial stories with at work or enjoy a couple of drinks with afterward — yet if you were to die today, they would probably come to your funeral and be surprised about a lot of the things that were said about you because when the two of you are together, you tend to stay in the “shallow end” of the relational pool…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Intimacy is earned, and acquaintances are usually either not interested in or willing to put in the work to get that close to you. All good. You’ve already got friends for that.
And yes, while it is good and wise to have a certain level of boundaries with all people (and I do mean, ALL — if you’re married and never read the book,Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships, it’s a blessing), because friends tend to be people who you really know and fully trust, you don’t need to be as guarded. And that’s why they are typically the first folks you call when you lose your job, or you need the kind of favor that you might be uncomfortable asking anyone else for (sometimes, including your own family).
At the same time, because your walls are down with them, they are just as comfortable coming to you with very private matters or needs as well.
3. Acquaintances Are Transient. Friendships Are (Typically) Longer Lasting.
GiphyProbably one of the biggest differences between a close acquaintance and an actual friend is that since there is no commitment in acquaintance dynamics, they don’t tend to have a very long (or reliable) shelf life. In other words, a good acquaintance might be in your life for a few months while you’re taking a class together or maybe even a couple of years while you’re working at a particular job; however, once you shift, the interaction with that individual does, too.
Since the two of you are not mutually invested on a deeper level, you’re usually not intentional about doing what is required to make the relationship last no matter what — like you would with a friendship.
With friendships…say that one of yours was about to move to another city or state. If they are truly your friend, the two of you are going to discuss what needs to be done to keep the relationship as intact as possible. With an acquaintance? It’s more like, “It was good knowing you, take care, and let’s make sure to follow each other on socials.”
For the record, that’s not a red flag. You’re not bonded on any significant level, so there’s no need to work on the relationship as if you are. #Elmoshrug
4. Acquaintances Are Compartmentalized. Friendships Aren’t. Kind Of.
GiphyRemember how I said in the intro that Aristotle once said that we should have utility, pleasure, and good friends? I agree with that wholeheartedly in the overall picture. Why? Knowing if your friends are connected to your work/purpose, if they are simply to help you to relax and have a good time, or if they are there to help hold you accountable and build character, can help you to understand how to properly navigate through each of those relationships. At the same time, though, I actually think that acquaintances are even more compartmentalized than that.
Take a client of mine who needed some help deciding if he should move out of state or not. As we were going through the ever-so-faithful pros and cons list, he said that one thing that he really was going to miss was his softball team. He enjoys sports, working out, and the camaraderie between him and the players. Thing is, as I started to go deeper, he reflected on the fact that they don’t ever call to check on him in between games, and he really doesn’t interact with them at all outside of them. After about 20 minutes of talking it out, he came to the conclusion that all he really had in common with those people was softball — and that wasn’t really a good enough reason to stay (he left a week ago, by the way).
While I was in the process of “getting my letters” in life coaching, I met some hella cool people. During those several months, I talked to them a lot (hell, probably more than my actual friends) because I was in an accelerated program in order to get everything done within six months of time. Since I’ve finished, though? Eh. I talk to a couple of the other individuals every few months or so. They were compartmentalized acquaintances. We had school in common and not much else. And so, when school was over, so was our interaction. Fond memories, just nothing really life-altering to hold on to.
5. Acquaintances Don’t Require a Lot of Effort. Friendships Need Maintenance.
GiphyOkay, y’all see what month it is, right? My birthday was in June, and ever since then, a guy that I know has been promising to take me out for a (non-romantic) birthday dinner. Now, guess how many times he has rescheduled? Five — in a row. Yep. Matter of fact, at the time that I am penning this, just a couple of days ago, he shot another blank right when I was about to walk out of the door. I can only imagine how pissed I would’ve been had I not sent a text to confirm that he was going to meet me at the restaurant.
Not only was he on some “damn, my bad” again, he didn’t even call to make things right. After five damn times. Uh-uh. And what that actually confirmed for me is we’re not actually friends; we’re cool acquaintances because he was far too nonchalant and cavalier about messing with my schedule like that — and accepting that fact actually kept me from harboring any ill-will. I simply told him that we should remain in communication through the phone, and for now, it’s on him to even initiate that.
Yes, he’s busy (very; I’m aware of what he does in this city of mine); however, we prioritize what matters to us. It really is as simple as that.
The moral of the story with this one? One of the reasons why acquaintances are even a “thing” is because they are the types of people in our lives who don’t require a lot of mental or emotional effort. See, my actualfriends? They planned for my birthday beforehand because they know how important that day is to me. Acquaintances? Although you can’t convince me that he wasn’t tacky as hell for how he handled matters, clearly, he doesn’t see me as a friend because he was so flippant about everything.
While friends will make plans and make sure to keep them to show how much they value someone, acquaintances tend to be more on the tip of, “If you’re free, I’m free, and it’s not going to cause me to go out of my way, let’s hang out for a couple of hours.” And honestly, there is nothing wrong with this — so long as you and the other person have a mutual understanding that neither one of you wants to put a lot of effort into your dynamic — that you want things to be carefree with very little maintenance required.
Friendships? You can never be so cavalier. If you want them to remain healthy and strong, you’ve got to show up and put some work in…and not just when you “feel like it.”
6. Acquaintances Are Fun. Friendships Are Real.
GiphyHonestly, this one right here is why I think all of us can benefit from having some close — which can also be interchangeable with “consistent” — acquaintances in our lives. On the heels of what I just said, even though friendships are precious and necessary beyond measure, it can be fun to have folks around where it doesn’t require much to be in their space. Go to dinner, have some laughs about something you saw on TikTok, go home — end of story.
Since you and your acquaintances are not super invested in each other’s lives, you can keep things light and easy, pretty much all of the time and we all can use that type of relational refresher sometimes.
Actually, one of my closest friends and I talk about this fairly often. I adore her. She is one of my favorite people on the entire planet. Still, because we are so much a part of each other’s worlds, we like that we’ve also got individuals with who we can just sit around somewhere and share stories about celebrity news, our takes on politics, or what we learned from our 20s, laugh for hours and that be it.
Our friendship? Oh, we laugh — BE CLEAR. However, because of the level of our commitment, we have things that sometimes we have to work through as we grow, shift, and transition into different versions of ourselves. I guess the way that I would wrap this one up is a close acquaintance is oftentimes like a commercial break or intermission in life — if you see them for what they are and resign within yourself to not expect anymore, you can “exhale” in your moments with them and then go back to your world, as scheduled.
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A Turkish playwright by the name of Mehmet Murat İldan once said, “Acquaintances are always abundant; friends are always scarce!” After reading this, perhaps it makes (more) sense why that is the case.
Y’all, there is nothing wrong with having acquaintances in your life. I personally find them to oftentimes be unexpected blessings. Just don’t try to turn them into friends if that’s not what they are supposed to be in your life.
From personal experience, I’m telling you that if you apply this relational rule, you can sit back and enjoy acquaintances for what they are. Friends for who they are…too.
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