Megan Thee Stallion has been in the news for a variety of reasons and she’s speaking to all of it. The Grammy award-winning artist covered the latest issue of Rolling Stone where she opens up about her relationship with boyfriend Paridson Fontaine, the alleged Tory Lanez shooting, and when her fans dubbed the hotties can expect her new album. In her short but successful career, Megan has already experienced things that most people at her level or higher have never experienced.
When she was just beginning to see mainstream success, her mom and manager passed away unexpectedly from a brain tumor in 2019. And in 2020, the 27-year-old Houston native was allegedly shot by rapper Tory Lanez after a night of partying went wrong. She’s also currently in a legal battle with her record label 1501 Certified Entertainment. But there were also some highs. Megan graduated from Texas Southern University with a bachelor’s degree in Health administration and she won three Grammys.
She appears to be in a healthy relationship with fellow rapper Pardison “Pardi” Fontaine and they share adorable moments together on social media. Megan divulged into her life and career for Rolling Stone and finally gave answers to what we’ve all been wanting to know including why she and her former BFF Kelsey stopped being friends after the alleged shooting.
Here are some highlights:
Megan on What Turned Her Friendship with Former BFF Kelsey Sour Following Alleged Tory Lanez Incident:
“I’m like, ‘Kelsey, as my best friend, why would you meet up with the person you saw shoot your best friend?’ She said, ‘Megan, y’all wasn’t answering my calls. My back was against the wall. I didn’t know what to do.’ What the f–k do you mean your back is against the wall? You’re the only person in this situation that would clear this up for me.”
“This girl told me out her mouth, ‘He told me, “Oh, thank you for not saying nothing. Now let me invest in your business. Let me do this. Let me do that.”’ And all I know was, from that day on, she never said nothing else about the whole situation online.”
Megan on Online Bullying She’s Experienced Since Alleged Shooting:
“I get online. I see funny sh-t all day. But then in the mix of that, there is also 20 people at-ing me at one time, saying crazy stuff. I’m like, ‘My 15 minutes [online] is over. Get off. I see people saying, ‘Damn, I would’ve shot that b-h too.”
“In some kind of way, I became the villain. And I don’t know if people don’t take it seriously because I seem strong. I wonder if it’s because of the way I look. Is it because I’m not light enough? Is it that I’m not white enough? Am I not the shape? The height? Because I’m not petite? Do I not seem like I’m worth being treated like a woman?”
Megan on Being Looked at As Strong:
“It’s a gift that I’m so strong but I feel like it’s also a curse because it makes things get kind of lonely sometimes. Everybody’s kind of like, ‘Well, you good. You got it. I ain’t messing with you.’ So I feel like it makes people treat me not as delicate as I would like them to.”
Megan on Her and Pardi’s Admiration for One Another’s Rap Skills:
“I feel like he’s so good. And he feels like I’m so good. There are always instrumentals playing. So if I can hear him rapping, I’ll be like, ‘Okay, I’m going to do better than that.’ Or if he likes the beat that I’m playing, he’ll be like, ‘Hey, let me get that beat.’ We sharpen each other.”
Megan on Her Pardi Sticking with Her Through Everything:
“I appreciate him for loving on me even when I don’t feel like I love me. I have a lot of anxiety, and I know I’m probably depressed on some level. I’ll be like, ‘Damn, you really sticking through it? ‘I really want to be good for you because I’m trying to be good for myself.’ But I just . . . I don’t know. Right now, I really don’t know, because sometimes I don’t feel good about me. So I feel like it’s hard to be in a relationship when you are not loving on yourself right.”
Megan on Her New Album Which She Hopes to Have Out This Summer:
“I want to take you through so many different emotions. At first you was twerking, now you might be crying.”
Megan on How She Wants to be Remembered:
“I put my phone outside the shower but close enough to where I could still tap it. Shit be getting wet all the time, fucking up my phones. “It’s a whole movie trying to write in the shower, but I keep my speaker loud and I just freestyle, and then I write it down when I get out.”
“I just always want people to remember, ‘Yes, Megan Thee Stallion, she was great, she was a rapper. She was one of the best rappers, the coldest.’”
Read the Rolling Stone cover story in full here.
Featured image by Emma McIntyre/WireImage
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What Are Intrusive Thoughts & How Do We Manage Them?
TW: some depictions of intrusive thoughts may be disturbing for readers.
Have you ever caught your mind drifting off to entertain the most disturbing scenarios imaginable? Maybe you can’t stop thinking of all the ways a loved one could pass away or worrying that you left every candle lit in your apartment to which you’d return to a home in ruins. If distressing ruminations like these have crossed your mind, you may be experiencing an intrusive thought.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted or distressing thoughts, images, or impulses that pop into your mind without your control or consent. These thoughts can be repetitive, unsettling, or even violent in nature, and can cause anxiety and frustration for those who experience them.
“Generally they're unwanted thoughts that come up in our head that interrupt what we're doing or thinking, and can feel very foreign,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. “It’s any thought that intrudes or interrupts what you are doing. They can be distressing and upsetting for us because it feels like we are not in control of them, and they're coming up out of nowhere and aren’t in line with how you normally think.”
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Certain trauma or stress can contribute to the development of intrusive thoughts, so having a challenging experience from the past or current life situations may trigger them to form. “An intrusive thought could come in the form of a flashback, image, or a thought about something that's happened to you,” Dr. Gooden tells xoNecole. “When it gets to the point where you feel like you can't function or make clear decisions, that's when intrusive thoughts become really challenging.”
While some of the 1 billion videos found under the #intrusivethoughts hashtag on TikTok would lead you to believe that these thoughts are nothing more than casual displays of our imagination going untamed. Intrusive thoughts are more than sticking your hand in a soap dispenser, wanting to cut all your hair off at 3 a.m., or having a random impulse to eat fake bread in public.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America reports that approximately six million individuals, equating to roughly two percent of the American population, encounter intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are often linked with obsessive-compulsive disorders, but they can also manifest in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Examples of Common Intrusive Thoughts
Because of the explicit nature of intrusive thoughts, they tend to cause shame and internal conflict in those who experience them. Although these thoughts can differ from person to person, these ideation can consist of:
- Violent or aggressive thoughts towards oneself or others, such as harming or killing someone;
- Sexual thoughts that are unwanted or inappropriate;
- Repetitive thoughts, such as a song or a phrase that keeps repeating in your mind;
- Contamination or germ-related thoughts or the fear of contamination and getting sick;
- Religious or blasphemous thoughts, such as questioning one's faith or having thoughts that go against religious beliefs;
- Doubts or uncertainty about one's own actions or decisions, such as fear of making a mistake or fear of not doing something right.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
That’s why Dr. Gooden encourages everyone to understand the difference between our fleeting thoughts and impulses and true, intrusive thoughts. “What level of distress does it cause and is it something you would never consider,” she says. “If you're finding that these thoughts are getting in the way of you living your life and that you're controlled by the thoughts, those are some signs that it would be good to get some support in navigating it.”
She also emphasizes the importance of understanding that while we may not always have control over our thoughts, we can control our behavior. “On TikTok, people are sort of blaming intrusive thoughts on their behavior, and our behavior is always a choice,” she says. “If we are in our right mind and we're not having a psychotic episode, our behavior is our choice — we are not obligated to follow any given thought that we have.”
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
With intrusive thoughts, it’s natural to question whether these thoughts are “normal” to have. However, these thoughts are not meant to define who you are as a person but simply indicate that you have a functioning human mind with automated thoughts that you, or any of us, can’t control. These thoughts may come, but they don’t have to be acted upon, nor do they define who you are.
“I've worked with clients in the past who say, ‘Why am I thinking these things? What's wrong with me?’ But if you're not acting on the thought, then it's probably not a huge issue,” Dr. Gooden says. “If you are thinking a harmful thought towards yourself or someone else and you are making plans to act on that thought, then yes, we need to do something about it.”
How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts
If you are struggling with managing unwanted thoughts, Dr. Aida suggests taking these tips to help manage your mindset when they occur:
- "Recognize that it's a thought and thoughts are just thoughts. We often put a little bit too much weight on our thoughts, and that can create a lot of distress. But remember that thoughts are not facts."
- "Having a thought that's disturbing or upsetting doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental illness."
- "Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, 'Huh, that was an interesting thought. I'm going to let that go. That thought is not helpful for me right now."
- "Ask yourself: is this helpful? Is it helpful for me to buy into this thought and believe this thought? Asking that question can be really helpful because we are not at the mercy of our thoughts. If it's not helpful, you can let it go."
Intrusive thoughts can feel bizarre and foreign when they come up, but they aren't inherently "bad." Our minds can sometimes be filled with random and inappropriate thoughts, but that's what our stream of consciousness does: it thinks. Fortunately, we can release those thoughts at any moment; you don't have to follow through with them.
And ultimately, not every TikTok diagnosis is one that we should label ourselves with.
"It's important for people to acknowledge what they're experiencing but not run too quickly to diagnose themselves with some mental illness or disorder," Dr. Gooden advises. "It ends with confusion, and we miss the opportunity to understand the people who really do have that mental health challenge."
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