Over the weekend, xoNecole teamed up with Toyota USA for our Made For Me: ATL event. The two-day event took place on March 19th and 20th in honor of Women’s History Month. Attendees participated in workshops and wellness experiences that focused on the mind, body, and spirit. Special guests included astrologist Dani Simone, Christian psychologist Dr. Alduan Tartt, financial consultant, and yoga teacher Dr. Nicole Garner Scott, entertainment host Gia Peppers, and Meagan Good, who was the keynote speaker.
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Meagan is a veteran actress who is often admired for her beauty, style, and down-to-earth personality. But what stands out about the Harlem star is her spirituality and her connection with God. The 40-year-old actress took to the stage alongside Gia and opened up to the xoNecole audience exclusively about her faith, how she deals with rejection and how she really feels about the recent social media attention she’s been receiving since announcing her divorce from DeVon Franklin.
Meagan Good On How She Deals with Rejection:
“It was very concise, specifics like, it’s just not you and I had to learn very young that it had nothing to do with me. I had to learn very young that nine times out of ten I’m going to get a no, but that one yes is the one that was divinely meant for me and have peace of mind about that and to learn along the way what I uniquely bring, nobody else brings and what someone else uniquely brings, no one else brings.
"So, having that peace of mind there will be alignment and the right things will come to me at the right season and then celebrating my sisters when things come to them even if it’s something that I wanted. Just celebrating them because it was theirs. It wasn’t mine. And I think rejection is God’s protection. Every time that I didn’t get something that I wanted I got something that was better suited for me. And I ended up in a space where I was like, ‘oh this is why I was meant to be here. Got it.’"
On Rejecting Something That No Longer Serves You:
“That was probably a harder thing for me to learn because I’m so sensitive and I hate to hurt people’s feelings. I hate to disappoint people. I hate to be the one that told them no. I’m like ‘well, what’s going to happen to them?’ And, ‘are they going to be okay?’ A lot of that honestly is like a savior mentality. You don’t realize it because you think you just [have] a good heart but sometimes if you have too much of a bleeding heart, you’re not serving that person. You’re actually hurting that person. You’re not helping that person and you’re always putting yourself out of alignment if that’s not what God called you to do and so I had to learn.”
On How She Finds Comfort In the Discomfort of Rejection:
“You just have to trust God. I think throughout my life and my personal experience being a woman, being a Black woman, being an actress, being in ministry, all of those things I’ve experienced tremendous amounts of rejection. Feeling misunderstood, feeling judged, feeling attacked all those things and the thing that sustained me is just trusting God. Even if someone else doesn't get me or doesn’t love me or doesn’t like me. I know that God gets me. I know that He knows my heart. I know that He knows exactly who I am. I know that He doesn’t reject me and if He doesn't reject me, well then, what are we talking about? What other people have to say, and not to say that those things don’t still hurt your feelings or that you’re not still affected, but you have to have the baseline and the bottom line which is the only person you’re sent here to approve you is God. And if God approves you and He’s for you, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say.”
"You just have to trust God. I think throughout my life and my personal experience being a woman, being a Black woman, being an actress, being in ministry, all of those things I’ve experienced tremendous amounts of rejection. Feeling misunderstood, feeling judged, feeling attacked all those things and the thing that sustained me is just trusting God. Even if someone else doesn't get me or doesn’t love me or doesn’t like me. I know that God gets me."
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Meagan Good On the Social Media Attention She's Received Since Announcing Her Divorce:
“In this particular season, it warms my heart a bit because I try not to look too much to either side because–I forget what the statistic is but you see something negative it affects you twenty times more than something positive. And so, I’m careful to not let the positive or the negative determine anything about how I feel. But I will say that it has been very heartwarming to see so many people rooting for me and wishing the best for me and wanting to see me live my best life and loving on me and pouring into me. That, I appreciate.”
On How She Deals with Public Opinion:
“Well, y'all know I’m 40 so I’m in a different space. I don’t care as much as I used to. I used to care so much and– it’s nice because it’s freeing. I wrote this poem and it’s on my Instagram page and it was just like what I was feeling. But it was like, I, for years, felt like I was at the edge of a cliff, and people were poking and prodding me and all I was trying to do was just not fall. And then one day, I jumped. When I jumped, I started flying. So, I’m in a season now where it’s like, yes, I’m sensitive to certain things, but at the end of the day, at the core of me and anybody who knows anything about me knows no matter what, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. It doesn’t matter if I’m going out to the firing squad or not. I’m always going to be myself and I’m always going to be authentic, but I used to be a lot more sensitive about it and I think now at this junction, especially in this past year, I just don’t care.
“When I create something as a director, as a producer, something that I participate in, I’m hoping that it influences somebody in a positive way. I’m hoping that it inspires somebody. I hope that it says to someone, you are enough as you are and you are beautiful and you are perfectly imperfect and I hope that those messages are coming through especially for something that I’m creating like as a producer, as a director. But there will always be times when people don’t receive it or don’t like it or don’t think it was great or whatever it is and I think everything else along the way has prepared me for those things. Whatever it is, all those things have prepared me for this moment and I’m thankful. I’m thankful to now hit 40 and be like ‘girl you free.’"
On How She Practices Self-Confidence:
“Everybody that is here, there is nobody in the world like you. There’s nobody in the world that is like you and the world needs what you can give that nobody else can give the way that you can give it. And I think stepping into our identity, stepping into our power, choosing our self-love–and I’m not saying it’s always easy. I have days where I feel insecure, feel not good enough, especially in the season where I’m like ‘oh, man I’m struggling.’ But I know how loved I am by God and that’s the base that I build everything on. And that helps me grow to love myself and then I remind myself there is nobody in the world like you. Somebody else might be better, well-spoken than you are, somebody else might be a better actress, more talented or more beautiful or people look up to or whatever it is, but nobody is me and I am enough and I choose to see that about myself.
"I have days where I feel insecure, feel not good enough, especially in the season where I’m like ‘oh, man I’m struggling.’ But I know how loved I am by God and that’s the base that I build everything on. And that helps me grow to love myself and then I remind myself there is nobody in the world like you. Nobody is me and I am enough and I choose to see that about myself."
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“I choose to work towards the reality of that identity that already is every single day and I’m not saying it’s easy but I’m saying the things that for me that I do is [having a] relationship with God, whatever that means for you. Meditation, just getting in tune. I used to hate meditating because I’m like, ‘but I’m about to fall asleep right now,’ but the more that I have [meditated] over the years and just getting in tune--just even waking up and just breathing and meditating to get oxygen to my brain has made a difference in my endorphins and my peace of mind when I start the day. Then for me, [it] is reading my word, reminding myself who God says I am, not who I think I am because I feel unworthy in the moment or because of whatever I may feel whatever is going on in life but who God says I am, period.
“That’s the only thing that matters and then living my day with just loving on myself and choosing myself at times and then choosing others when I feel spirit-led. At the end of the day, we are worthy and we are perfectly imperfect, and we are God’s children, and He did put us here for a specific reason and we have a potential to live up to in this life. We’re not here for a long time, but we’re here for a moment and in that moment, we all have purpose in our lives and we all have a specific reason why God created us and gave us the parents He gave us, grew up in the town that we lived in, had the desires that we have in our heart which I believe are always connected to our purpose.
"We gotta accomplish that in this life and so I let those things be the guiding light and just my center and my core and my base.”
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When we talk via Zoom in late August, Lindsay, 38, has just returned from a lunch date with a friend, the type of midday social outing she’d never had time for previously. In a week, she’ll be heading to Europe for an Eat, Pray, Love trip. It’s the first time she’s had time to go to Europe in five years.
“You ask me what I have time to do? Take care of me,” she says, beaming.
In the past six years, Lindsay has made a lot of changes. After becoming the first Black woman to lead ABC’s Bachelorette dating series in 2017, she fell in love with Bryan Abasolo, the man she chose on the show, and married him. Enamored with the world of entertainment but also accustomed to the stability that being an attorney provided her, she returned to practicing law in her native Dallas, Texas, while pursuing media opportunities on the side.
For a time, Lindsay would fly herself to Connecticut to co-host ESPN’s Football Frenzy radio show. The role was perfect for the Dallas Cowboys fan and sports fanatic who majored in sports management and once dreamed of becoming an agent. In 2019, when she finally felt she’d saved enough money and made enough connections, she made the leap and left the legal profession behind, determined to bet on her entertainment dreams.
Working as an on-air correspondent for Extra was one of Lindsay’s first big roles as a full-time media personality. In this job, she interviewed celebrities such as Halle Bailey and Anthony Anderson. She also notably conducted the controversial interview with Bachelor host Chris Harrison that subsequently led to his departure from the franchise. After Harrison told Lindsay he felt people needed to have “grace” for a contestant who had attended an “Old South” party, Lindsay publicly announced her plans to distance herself from the series.
Today, she cites changes in Extra’s leadership and her responsibilities as the reason for her recent departure after three years. “I just didn’t fit within the new regime,” she reveals to xoNecole.
Lindsay is currently focusing her energy work-wise on her two podcasts with The Ringer Podcast Network, the Higher Learningshow with Van Lathan, and Morally Corrupt. Despite the extremely different subjects – Higher Learning touches on race and politics while Morally Corrupt finds Lindsay commenting on her favorite Bravo reality shows – she gushes when speaking about both, calling podcasting “the most liberating thing you can do.”
On Higher Learning, she’s challenged by her co-host, Lathan, to think in new ways. She’s regularly in conversation with prominent figures such as Tracee Ellis Ross and Billy Porter.
Lindsay, a “Bravoholic” whose favorite Real Housewives franchise is Potomac and whose favorite Housewife is Nene Leakes, is no less passionate about Morally Corrupt, even if the subject matter is much lighter. “I’ve always loved reality TV because it was such an escape from my real world. Part of me admired people who could put themselves out there in a way that I believed I never could, until I went on reality TV,” Lindsay says.
Courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
The podcast host says she never intended to find love when she went on The Bachelor, and she was surprised when she was asked to lead season 13 of The Bachelorette. Going from viewer to reality TV star quickly opened her eyes to the demands of being a public figure. After receiving initial criticism from viewers about choosing and marrying Bryan Abasolo, she realized she wanted to become more protective of certain aspects of her personal life.
“I quickly learned that we had to protect what we had, and stop trying to prove it to other people and convince people to know what we knew to be true,” she says. “I wish I could share more of my relationship. But the moment you do that, you have to continue to provide more and you have to continue to answer.”
In many ways, Lindsay benefited from being on a show like The Bachelorette, where the contestants are confined to a limited environment over a temporary amount of time. She says she doesn’t think she could ever be on a reality show where she’s expected to reveal all aspects of her life constantly. In fact, she says if she ever had pregnancy news or updates about her relationship with Abasolo, she wouldn’t make a big public announcement.
Since walking away from The Bachelor franchise, the former Bachelor Happy Hour host says she’s been approached to participate in recent seasons, specifically this year’s season with Black lead, Charity Lawson. Lindsay says she ultimately declined to participate. “I just started thinking I can have a relationship with Charity – whose number I do have and I have talked to – outside of the show. I don’t need to come on television to put that out there for other people,” she says.
Reflecting on her life today, Lindsay is trying to learn the benefits of being still. She’s not planning to do any on-air correspondent booked for the time being, and she’s not planning to release another book, the followup to the collection of essays Miss Me with That or the fictional Real Love.
As her 40th birthday approaches in a couple of years, she’s been thinking a lot about the popular quote, “You are, right now, as young as you'll ever be again” from the FX drama Fleishman Is in Trouble. If she does start on a new creative project, it might delve into this notion, she says. “I think I could do something in that space about adulthood and getting older and maybe questioning things in life because I think we all do it,” she tells xoNecole.
Lindsay is not rushing the process, though. For now, she’s remembering to rest and renew.
“We'll see what comes out of this state that I'm in.”
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Featured image courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
