July! The month we've all been waiting for as we prepare once again to enter the wild wild west of the Eclipse Season.
Once again, we get to take a look at the concepts of fate, destiny, and karma as we all decide whether we want to move up or down on the karmic scale. The beginning of the month kicks off crankily with Mercury in Leo arguing with Mars and Jupiter, making him irritable, quick-tempered, verbose, and loud as hell, as leonine Mercury roars out rallying cries that inspire others around him to act. We all receive an opportunity to speak with pride and passion on the topics and projects that we're deeply invested in as well as using our creative and collective minds to come up with solutions for the difficulties in our personal and shared worlds. It's important to remember that it's not always the loudest voice in the room that has the answers but the voice that is willing to listen and collaborate in order to be effective.
On July 10, Jupiter leaves his retrograde journey to station direct at 13 degrees of Scorpio, bringing our attention all the way back to his retrograde story. (December 12th through March 8th) Jupiter's been working to show us how we've been expanding and relating to the world. Have you been openly passionate about how you meet new experiences? Or have you been running away in fear when opportunities for growth and abundance come your way? During his third and final pass see what's changed about how you open up and have faith or belief in yourself and the world.
July ends with a big bang with a strong, highly martial and potentially violent Lunar eclipse on July 27 at 4 degrees of Aquarius. Remember Mars is retrograde until August 26, so his energy can be both explosive, sudden, and unusual. People will be acting "strangely" so don't be too alarmed. It's a busy, busy month so click through the slideshow below to learn what July has in store for your sign!
Aries
Love
You may be a bit of a homebody for the first part of the month, Aries, so chill out for a couple of days. Your focus is more serious with Venus in your house of Daily Routines and Health putting you in a perfectionist mood where you'll be wanting things to go certain ways especially in regards to your relationships with others. If you're currently single, you could very well meet a potential love on-the-job or find yourself interviewing potential suitors like they're trying out for the job of being your boo. It's not that you're uncaring, or unsympathetic to their obvious interest in you, but you want to be logical about how you express your love and affection to new mate(s).
Work
To be perfectly honest, it could be that your work and career is just more satisfying than spending a lot of time on romance that could fizzle out before summer is finished. That's fine, because Jupiter's forward movement will help you realize that you have the power to take control of your life when you do the dirty business of facing fears and being brutally honest about your underlying desires as motivation. Basically, you're in no mood for weak sauce from anyone right now.
Health
The Solar Eclipse on the 12th will be energizing your House of Home and inviting you to make it more comfortable and less cluttered with mental-emotional baggage, so that it's easier for you to rest and function within that that sacred space. The Sun's movement into Leo will give you a burst of energy to go out and play while Mercury does his retrograde dance in the same house. The two of them will encourage you to tap back into your creativity and rediscover your sense of humor if it's gone missing over the past few weeks. Just stay true to yourself, Aries, it's good for your health.
Taurus
Love
Turn up your natural charm, Taurus. July is a month that revolves around enjoying yourself within your relationships. Jupiter turns direct in your House of Partnerships on July 10, replenishing you with both luck and an abundance of suitors if you're looking. If your one-on-ones with people have been challenging, or if your business partnerships have been an issue as of late, expect kerfuffles to smooth out as Jupiter begins to retrace his steps with his extra wisdom on his side. Think back to March of this year for relationships that might be up for yet another pass. Know that you're in a space where there's plenty of opportunity for love, romance, creativity and playfulness as Venus enters into your house of Creativity and Romance on the same day. With these two benefits on your side, you may find that it's much easier to compromise and find the middle ground with others. This all works out in your favor as the Solar Eclipse on the 12 will be encouraging you to communicate, socialize and not allow boredom or monotony to set into your day-to-day. Go out, meet people, keep your mind engaged.
Health
Pay attention to your health around the end of the month; you could be experiencing some social fatigue with Mercury settling down to go retrograde in your House of Home and Family. Your mind tends towards nostalgia, and cloudy emotionality during this time as he tries to make sense of what's off in your home and work environments.
Work
Chances are that you're spending too much energy in a situation at work that's leaving you drained and uncertain if you want to continue down your current career path. Try to speak up for yourself and see if a solution can't come about through collaborative efforts at work. If that fails, there's nothing wrong with hanging out on the couch with your family until you feel ready to act. Patience is still one of your best virtues, Taurus.
Gemini
Health
July is the month to get your mind back in order, Gemini, especially with Jupiter in your House of Health and Daily routines stationing direct on July 10th. You should feel more like yourself in terms of getting tasks done as opposed to spinning your wheels as you have been since March. Do your best to take in Jupiter's lessons as he gives you yet another chance to handle your details so that your details don't handle you. Don't get too carried away with your endless to-do lists and errands as around July 9, it could quickly become the case of putting too much on your plate and not having the energy to keep up with yourself.
Work
Use the solar eclipse on July 12 to plant new seeds and set your intentions around your money, assets, and you self-esteem. If you've been meaning to invest in a new financial venture or been thinking about financial planning, this New Moon Eclipse will be useful to you. Take it as a moment to consider just how much you want for yourself in terms of money and career, and whether or not you feel like you deserve it.
Love
Keep in mind it's much easier to receive love in our lives when we believe it is our right to have it. You do deserve it, so claim what's yours. Your ruling planet Mercury going retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse at the end of the month will force you to slow down enough to consider the boldness of your ideas and whether or not to act on them. Your mind will take you as far as you allow it, Gemini. Think big.
Cancer
Health
July is the kind of month that will have you saying f*ck it, Cancer. After months of struggling to maintain healthier relationships, this is a good time to reimagine yourself, build confidence, make a little money, and have some fun while you're doing it. Everyone else can fend for themselves while you take care of you and your health first. The beginning of the month sees Jupiter and Neptune lending positive support to your ego, so spend extra time in the mirror with those positive affirmations and blown kisses. The solar eclipse on July 12 will be in your House of Self, meaning you get to plant a new intentions about your self-image, Little Crab.
Work
Think about how learning how to wield some of the power dynamics that you've experienced in your partnerships with others and how you can use them in different areas of your life, including your career. Leave all the negative expressions of power struggles behind and embrace the ones that make you feel confident and able to stand up to whatever or whoever comes your way.
Love
Jupiter stationing direct in your House of Creativity and Pleasure is encouraging you to go outside and play more than you have been lately, get back into your hobbies. Go dancing, play music, romance yourself or somebody else and see how that feels for a change. Venus gives a nod to your House of Communication making her chatty girl who loves conversations with new people that help her to understand the wider world so if you're invited to go out, say yes. Chances are love and excitement are waiting for you to come say hello.
Leo
Health
This month marks the beginning of your birthday season, Leo! Happy Solar Return and many more! Though this month may have you wanting to retreat at times (cuz whoa, talk about crazy intense energy, these days!) don't lose hope, as typically things all work out in the end when you're being eclipsed like you are. First off, make an effort to spend time with people who boost your confidence. Venus moving into your House of Money and Self Esteem will be pushing you to invest in you and your health this month. If it looks pretty, and makes you feel pretty, go for it (within reason and your budget, of course!).
Work
Although Venus in this position tends to get a bit carried away with her spending, she's also good at bringing in additional cash just when you need it most. You could put a portion of your spending towards your home, as Jupiter turns direct and draws your attention back to your roost. If you've been thinking of renovating, expanding, or moving to a bigger place, Jupiter and Venus can work together on your behalf to make it happen from this month forward. Having a strong homebase and foundation will be of use to you as you continue to work on your career and your one-on-one relationships with others this summer.
Love
Partners are still behaving strangely thanks to Mars, so do try to show love by being patient and allow disagreements to blow over quickly as opposed to becoming knock down fights that no one can remember how they started. Choose your words, and your battles wisely, Leo, and if all else fails, just pack it up and go home. Tomorrow is still another day.
Virgo
Love
Sometimes you feel social and sometimes you don't, Virgo. That's fine so long as you're going with the flow of the month. You'll be feeling more inclined to be seen during the first half of the month, with Venus entering your sign and your first House of Self on the 10. Venus in this position should bless you with additional charm and grace while making you seem extremely attractive If you are in the market for a summer love fling or longer relationship. Yes, Virgo, they're looking at you, because they like what they see, embrace that sh*t. Whatever your current romantic status, the point is to seek more pleasure from your everyday life. Jupiter turning direct in your House of Communications will be giving you ample opportunity to connect with others as your voicemail and calendar suddenly fill to capacity. You'll be feeling pretty and witty when you're out engaging in refreshing and enlightening conversations with the people who'll be drawn to your energy.
Work
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 12 is bringing in even more social engagement energy by activating your House of Friendship and Organizations providing you even more opportunity to broaden your network of friends and involvement with like-minded groups in ways that can boost your career.
Health
All this socializing may have you feeling burnt out towards the end of the month when the Sun enters your House of Unconscious, followed by Mercury turning retrograde in the same house. You may find that you're reluctant to share your deeper thoughts with others or be less inclined to go outside at all and who could blame you after such a busy first half of the month. Use this downtime to clear your head, tend to your health and reflect on what you've experienced in the last 12 months and prepare for a new solar year as your birthday season approaches.
Libra
Work
July should feel easier for you, Libra, as Jupiter finally turns direct in your House of Money and Self Esteem, allowing you to feel more confident about what you believe in and want for yourself. This is perfectly timed since the Solar Eclipse in your House of Career on July 12 will be asking you to plant new seeds and vision around your burgeoning reputation. Pluto is also involved In this Eclipse, but instead of being overwhelmed or frightened by his influence, use that energy as fuel. Pluto in your House of Home helps to uproot all sorts of familial stories good and bad that have helped shape who you are. Lean into the familial traits and characteristics that can propel you forward in your career as opposed to hold you back.
Love
Mercury retrograde through your House of Friendship and Organizations on July 26 will have you paying extra attention to those that you associate with and how they push you to take pride and go powerfully towards your vision for the future. Just be sure to pay attention to Mercury when he's squabbling with Jupiter, on the 9, as he will inform you whether or not your values are on the same page as the people that you love and associate with. Don't be shocked when you find that some people won't be joining you going forward.
Health
Your health is maintained when you Indulge in some good old fashioned fun with your ruling planet Venus In Leo during the first few weeks of the month that she will invite you to go out and socialize and have a good time but once she enters Virgo on July 10, it's a good time to retreat from the world to recharge your batteries so that you have an easier time letting go of whatever doesn't serve you.
Scorpio
Health
You get some of your energy back this month, Scorpio. Jupiter finally turning direct after 4 months of being retrograde should finally see a boost in both your health and your optimism. You now have a better understanding of faith in yourself and random blessings and luck from the universe. Allow Jupiter to push you towards opening up to life again if you've been feeling closed off.
Love
Venus going through your house of friendships and organizations will be encouraging you to socialize and potentially get set up with a new love interest by your friends or meet someone new who just happens to share your interest. It's okay to take it slow and and just enjoy in the company of like-minded people but be careful around July 24 when Neptune comes to chat with Venus and puts a bit of Illusion and haze around romance and money affairs. Use your Scorpio perceptiveness to cut through the nonsense. If it seems too good to be true, chances are that it is, but it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy the ride.
Work
Mercury retrograde and the lunar eclipse taking place on the 26 and 27 of the month will have you thinking about your work to home life balance. Are you spending too much time at home or at work? Do you like the work that you're doing or the home that you're living in? Mercury may have you reconsidering your career and reputation path while he goes retrograde, while the South Node of Fate in your house of home and family will help clear out any family angst, drama, and discontent that might be putting a downer on your home life and dragging on your ability to succeed at work.
Sagittarius
Health
You should start to move out of your funk this month, Sadge, with your ruling planet Jupiter finally turning direct on the 10. Since March, he's been urging you to reflect on some of your more well hidden fears so that they can be processed and released, as opposed to weighing you down as you proceed on your journey. If you're still feeling grayed-out, use Jupiter to help boost your health by finding a spiritual practice that revolves around rebuilding your faith in the Universe and in yourself.
Love
Venus moving into your House of Career and Reputation will have you standing out in the crowd, appearing more attractive and charming to the public and even gain you favor from people in power. If you're in the mood for love and affection, Venus in this position may bring you an older lover interest who happens to like sharing their wisdom and expertise with you. You could use the wisdom you learn from new partners to help you get clear about what you want to transform in your life when the Solar Eclipse on the 12th activates your House of Intimacy.
Work
Once that happens, anything having to do with letting go of fears that block your blessings and straightening out your finances (especially if it relates to debts, loans and taxes) would be ideal. Set a new intention to be more honest in how you relate to others and your relationship with money. An automated savings account wouldn't be a terrible idea to invest in this month. The money you save while being a responsible adult could come in handy by the time Mercury turns retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse lights up your House of Distant Travel and Higher Learning. Can you say, "fly me out", Centaur?
Capricorn
Work
Keep your calendar wide open as the heavens will be pushing you out into the world this month, Capricorn. On July 10, Venus will be entering into your House of Higher Learning and Expansion, leaving you interested in all things related to expanding your heart and mind to new experiences. This could come in the form of taking a new class, or meeting new people with different cultural backgrounds than your own. Think about how to utilize what you learn for your career.
Love
Jupiter will be lending a hand when he turns direct in your House of Friendship and Organizations on the same day making it easier to come across like-minded people who may be supportive of your hopes and wishes coming true. All this socializing is right on time as the Solar Eclipse on the 12th lands right in your House of Partnership. If you're on the hunt for a new love relationship this month will plop you down amongst people that you'd be interested in spending more one-on-one time with. The only catch is that you're not particularly interested in the small talk.
Health
Mercury in your House of Intimacy isn't here for the shallow conversations or frivolous connections with others, so if you find it hard to communicate on a deeper level with potential mates, maintain your health by letting them go to avoid future frustration. If you've been meaning to do research, be sure to use Mercury to your advantage especially when he goes retrograde in this house for you it's a good time to go over your fears and underlying motivations to make sure they match up with how you take action on acquiring your assets, money, and sense of purpose and self esteem. There's no time for fake sh*t Capricorn, if you want to connect in a deep way now is the time to do so.
Aquarius
Love
This month is all about your relationships, Aquarius. ALL the relationships. From your romantic partners, to your family, your co-workers, bosses, frenemies and open enemies, you name it. And most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself.
Venus moving into your House of Intimacy will give you a push to probe a little deeper within your relationships, go beyond the niceties and be real with each other about why you're choosing to be together. You don't have to go over the top with expressing affection, instead go for consistency and reliability. If you do and mean what you say with conviction and a bit of planning, love flourishes.
Work
As challenging as the energy has been for you so far, it's important that you learn to lean into the discomfort of being more welcoming of those who are different from you but still share some of your core values. The Eclipses have been teaching you about compromise and balance, the natural give and take that comes with the act of being in one half of a partnership. You may find that people you engage with have a lot to say this month about how your career ambitions are causing friction due to feelings of neglect. This may not be necessarily true, but listen all the same. This isn't the time to fight, Water Bearer, especially with Mars retrograde in your sign,you just don't have the juice or the direction to throw down the gauntlet.
Health
It would ideal for your health to just chill out for a while. Try instead to to look backwards and review how you can behave differently to get different results from people. Get them onboard with your ambitions, so that conversations become more productive where both parties feel inspired to act toward a shared goal for a change.
Pisces
Health
Get yourself out of the house for the first part of the month, Pisces. Your ruling planet, Jupiter, turning direct on July 10 will have your optimism and desire to socialize with other on the rise. The energy as of late has been taxing on your health but remind yourself that life is good even if things are looking crazy on the outside. Do your best to keep a positive outlook and try not to stress over the little things. If anything, this is a good time to get back into teaching or writing as a way to open up your mind after feeling down and disoriented.
Love
Venus entering into your 7th House on the same day moves you in the direction of forging new relationships with particularly attractive people *wink wink*. If you're already in a committed relationship, this would be a good time to play up the love and romance. The Solar Eclipse on the 12 will be electrifying your House of Romance and Creativity, so if you've been feeling lonesome or out of step, make it a point to go play, to date, and to create, not just the arts but anything that comes to mind.
Work
Career takes somewhat of a backseat this month as Mercury retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse on the 26 and 27 respectively will have you going back inside and into your quiet place where you'll be meditating on your subconscious emotions. Floating in unknown and unseen is typically your domain, Pisces, so be open with yourself. Try not to suppress any emotions that come bubbling to the surface during this time. Should you find that there are emotions and thoughts that are too overwhelming, use Mercury to channel them into productive activities like exercise or cleaning out your closets. Sometimes doing chores can help organize the swirling intangible thoughts so that you can reference them later for deeper understanding.
Featured image by Getty Images
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- Monthly Horoscope for July 2018 | Old Farmer's Almanac ›
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- July Horoscope 2018 – Monthly Horoscope – Astrology King ›
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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Featured image by Guido Mieth/Getty Images