There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
'Bel-Air' Actress Jazlyn Martin On Her Ongoing Identity Crisis And Its Influence On Her Creative Journey
Jazlyn Martin is a triple-threat performer known most for her role as Jackie on Peacock’sBel-Air. Her character’s fiery personality and questionable decisions have led to a few shocking moments in the series and quite a bit of convo on social media.
Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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Featured image courtesy
King Solomon once said that death and life are within the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). What that basically means is, contrary to what pop culture likes to say, pretty much on repeat, it’s not just actions that mean something — words do as well. That’s why we need to be very clear and intentional about the ones that we speak.
This is something that I find myself saying to a friend of mine, fairly often, whenever she gets down on herself about not completing as many goals as she would like on any given day (or week or month). Now, mind you, she’s a single mom, she’s juggling three different careers, and one of them requires that she travel a fair amount.
And yet, in her eyes, if her mind tells her that it would like to go for a walk with no phone or her body tells her that it needs a nap before doing anything else, the first word that she uses to describe these feelings is “lazy;” meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get her into the habit of saying “tired” instead. Why? Because, even aside from Scripture, science also states that words program our mind — and if you don’t get into the habit of using the right ones, at the appropriate times, that could lead to unnecessary bouts of stress, anxiety, self-induced pressure, and disappointment.
So if, like my friend, you tend to use the word “lazy” a lot whenever you’re not able to check off as much on your to-do list as you would like, take a moment to learn (or revisit) the difference between what it means to be lazy and what it means to be tired — so that you can either change your lifestyle habits ASAP or you can give your mind, body and spirit the rest and TLC that it so richly deserves.
What It Actually Means to Be Lazy
GiphyLaziness is basically defined as doing whatever it takes to avoid work or activity. It also means that one is idle or sluggish. Some synonyms for lazy include apathetic (for the record, TIME published an article entitled, “It’s Harder Than Ever to Care About Anything” a few years back), careless, and passive. In my mind, whenever I think of how a lazy person lives, they pretty much just let life happen to them without much energy or effort on their part — and y’all, that ain’t good.
It's the late Kobe Bryant who once said, “I can't relate to lazy people. We don't speak the same language. I don't understand you. I don't want to understand you.” When you stop to think about the legacy that he left behind at only 41 years of age, him saying something like that definitely tracks. And since I am definitely a quotes girl, other ones that stand out when it comes to the topic of laziness include “Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other's work” (Ann Rule), “Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man” (Jimmy Lyons) and “The only people who think life should be easy are lazy people.” (Robert Kiyosaki) Hmph.
Sounds to me like lazy people like to edit other people’s work rather than write their own stories (some of y’all will catch that later), procrastinate like a mutha (more on that in just a sec), and have an attitude of extreme entitlement (Lawd!).
Now, believe you me, I’m not saying that laziness is not a thing — hell, even an epidemic even in this country; there are plenty of articles out here to support that. All I’m saying is that before you call or consider yourself to be that, you should really ponder those quotes and also check out some actual ways that laziness presents itself.
1. Laziness procrastinates.
People who are easily distracted. People who put things off until the last minute. People who set goals and don’t follow through. People who (eh hem)blow hours on social media. People who struggle to get started and/or miss deadlines. These are all examples of what it means to be a procrastinator and since20 percent of Americans are considered to be chronic ones — yeah, that’s pretty problematic. It explains why many people who fall into this category don’t reach their goals and why many others are stressed out most of the time.
2. Laziness doesn’t take responsibility for its actions.
A lack of accountability is a form of laziness — for a billion different reasons. When you don’t take responsibility for the choices that you make, that keeps you from growing, holistically so, as an individual.
Personally, I have had to release many people over the course of my life because they keep on doing toxic ish and finding some way to blame it on everyone and everything but themselves — which just keeps the cyclic nonsense going.
Life has taught me that you can’t change folks; you can just step back, assess, and then decide if you want to participate in what they have going on…or not. Anyway, if you’re not intentional about growth, evolution, and where need be, transition, laziness definitely could be the culprit.
3. Laziness is full of excuses.
Speaking of not being accountable, a sign that someone is caught up in that matrix is if they are constantly making excuses for their actions (or lack thereof). Folks who get defensive when they are asked for explanations tend to make excuses. Folks who like to gaslight or deflect tend to make excuses. Folks, who will blame everyone, including their cat or dog, for why they fail to do certain things? They definitely make excuses.
And before some of you ask, yes, there is a difference between making a litany of excuses and offering up a viable explanation — an excuse skirts around matters while an explanation clarifies them. Lazy folks do the former. People who try to move in a mature and reliable space lean in to the latter.
4. Laziness doesn’t honor its commitments.
Wanna know two other synonyms for lazy? Inattentive and indifferent, and y’all, I can’t tell you how many times I have told a couple in a session whose marriage is crumbling that the main reason why is because one or both of them appear to be hella lazy — yep, by the mere definitions (well, synonyms) of the word. That’s why I’m not big on people solely doing things based on how they feel because all sorts of things can cause one’s feelings to change, pretty much on a dime. Not only that, but a commitment is supposed to supersede ever-changing feelings.
When you make a promise (or vow), you should do everything in your power to keep it and maintain it, which includes being attentive and not having an “oh well” or “ho-hum” attitude towards what or who you committed to. Lazy individuals? They don’t see it this way. They pretty much suck at committing because that requires actual…well, effort. Not to mention maturation and endurance.
5. Laziness chooses to waste time. Often.
A part of the reason why I wrote “These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time” a few years back is because, without question, one of the absolute worst things that you could ever do is waste your time. Why? Because time is something that you can’t get back. Lazy people don’t really care about that because they tend to be pretty presumptuous when it comes to time — meaning, they tend to jack theirs off because they think one of my favorite Chinese proverbs quotes is a joke: “It’s later than you think.”
While self-aware people make the most of their time, lazy people don’t value it very much…at all.
What It Truly Means to Be Tired
GiphyOkay, so now that you’ve reviewed what laziness looks like, can you relate or, no? The truth is that, at some point or another, all of us display certain signs of being lazy; the thing to keep in mind is having a lazy moment or day is very different than being a lazy individual, in general.
And what if you read all of those lazy points, and they definitely didn’t “scratch the itch” of what you’ve got going on right now? If that is indeed the case, have you ever stopped to consider that you are genuinely tired?
Here are five signs of how that typically manifests:
1. You’ve overwhelmed.
I currently have a client who picks the oddest hill to die on. Although he admits that he’s a supreme workaholic, and it causes him to not give his best at home when it comes to his family, whenever I respond to that by saying that he is overwhelmed, for some reason, he almost always pushes back.
For some reason, he sees that word as a sign of weakness when I know that it simply means that he is A) overworked, B) dealing with too much pressure and/or stress from their professional and/or personal relationships, and/or C) has way too much on their plate.
And when that is the case, it’s easy to either feel some sort of mental or emotional paralysis or to become so confused or burdened that you’re not exactly sure what you should do (next). That doesn’t mean you’re lazy. More times than not, what you are is drained. Exhausted even. And this brings me to the next point.
2. You’re exhausted.
A couple of years ago, Women’s Health published an article entitled, “Why Am I Always So Tired? 15 Reasons You’re Dealing With Seriously Low Energy And Fatigue.” Some of the reasons that it listed include allergies, underlying health issues, eating too much sugar and carbs (which can cause your energy levels to spike and then crash), being sleep-deprived, having low iron levels, dealing with a thyroid problem and/or being super stressed out.
To me, the biggest takeaway that comes from this one is if you’re so worn out that you can’t seem to get anything done, journal about your eating and sleeping habits for a week and definitely make an appointment to see your doctor. Not having the energy to do anything isn’t “laziness” — it’s usually a health and/or lifestyle-related issue.
3. You don’t prioritize your needs.
Wanna know some signs that you don’t prioritize yourself? You don’t have some sort of TLC maintenance like mani/pedis, facials, and/or massages on your (regular) schedule. You feel guilty when you make yourself unavailable to other people. You can’t remember the last time you did something for yourself without wondering if you should’ve put it off or done something for someone else instead.
You basically feel like you’re on autopilot. You rarely do things just for the fun of it. Pretty much all of us have heard that we can’t be much good to others if we’re already running on fumes, and if you’re not making you and your needs a top priority in your life, that is exactly how you are moving throughout this thing called life.
4. You never salute your efforts.
Something that I’ve noticed is a trait of overly ambitious people is all that they really focus on is what’s next. What I mean by that is, that whenever they set a goal and accomplish it, they rarely (if ever) make the time to celebrate what they’ve done. Instead, they just move on to the next thing on their list. The problem with this mindset is you’re never going to stop growing until you die in pretty much any area of your life.
And so, if all you think about is what you need to do next, at some point, it can either lead to feelings of discontentment or even discouragement if you’re not careful — and both of these can take a real toll on your mind, body and spirit.
That’s why (and I’ve said this many times before), I try to make it a habit to toast myself at the end of each and every day. Why? Because each day is new, which means that there is something that I’ve done — big or small — that has gotten me closer to the type of person I want to become or where in my life that I want to be, and saluting that helps me to feel revitalized instead of weary or depleted. That said, when was the last time that you celebrated yourself? Real talk.
5. You don’t take (regular) breaks.
If you don’t utilize your breaks and lunchtime at work, if you don’t take naps every once in a while, if you don’t choose a day during the week to get off of the grid (at least for half of the day), if you don’t go on a vacation at least once a year (even if it’s just for a long weekend) — you are not good at taking breaks, and that can definitely cause you to feel super tired sooner or later.
Earlier this year, USA Today published, "Americans are the worst (globally) at taking vacation time." Since vacations help to relax and de-stress you, if you can’t remember the last time that you went on one — no wonder you are so damn tired.
5 Tips for Feeling Less Tired
GiphyAight, so what if you just read through all of the tired points and realized that you really have been too hard on yourself — that not being able to get as much done isn’t because you’re lazy, and it really is because you’re simply…tired? If that is indeed the case, here are five hacks that can help to revive and reactivate you…at least a lil’ bit.
1. Identify the source.
Person, place, thing, idea — all of the above. If you’re feeling tapped out, the first thing you need to do is figure out who and/or what is the cause. If it’s your job, are you staying past the time that you need to leave? If it’s your kids, do you have them on a schedule (especially when it comes to bedtime)? If it’s a friend, is it a functional (give and take) or dysfunctional (you’re doing most of the giving) situation?
Being tired is your mind or body’s way of letting you know that something is out of balance. Identifying the source is how you can restore things back to where they need to be.
2. Set better boundaries.
A writer by the name of Jessica Moore once said, “Our boundaries define our personal space — and we need to be sovereign there in order to be able to step into our full power and potential.” Author Brené Brown once said, “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
A quote that is used in one of my email signatures is by another author named Nick Chellsen; it says, “Boundaries are what you say 'no' to. Priorities are what you say 'yes' to.” All of these things speak to being okay with saying “no” sometimes and for remembering that you have more power over your world than you think, no matter what requests or pseudo-demands people try to put on you.
3. Shorten your to-do list.
To-do lists are great because they can help you organize your time, which ultimately means that you are organizing your life. That said, if you’ve never heard of the 1-3-5 rule, consider implementing it for the next couple of weeks.
The gist is that you jot down nine things that you need (or want) to get done on a daily basis: one big thing, three medium-sized things, and five small things. Try to do the biggest thing first, and the rest should relatively be a breeze.
An exercise like this is bomb because not only will it “train” you to be more realistic with your time (so that you don’t get overwhelmed by trying to do too much in a 24-hour cycle), but it will give you a great sense of accomplishment once you’ve checked everything off at the end of each day.
4. Give yourself a daily 30-minute break.
Something that I will sometimes recommend married clients do is to greet each other at the end of the day and then leave each other alone for 30-45 minutes so that they can “reprogram” their psyche from work to home life. So many find it to be uber effective because, as a husband-friend of mine oftentimes says, “If we’re constantly going from one atmosphere to the next without slowing down, all we end up doing is ‘stripping our gears.’”
Those are some serious words of wisdom right there. So yeah, after work, before doing ANYTHING, take 30 minutes to just…chill: sip on some tea, take a quick nap, do some meditating — whatever doesn’t require a ton of energy or effort and will get you to slow down for a sec.
5. Plan for a life of balance.
I’ll end here. Again, being tired means that you need to bring something back into balance, and, as a wise person once said the word, “Life is all about balance. You don’t always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes, it’s perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back and do nothing. If you work hard, play hard, and rest well; that’s what balance is all about.
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If you know that you’ve got some lazy habits that need to change, there is no time like the present to do so. However, if you just got the confirmation that you need that you are T-I-R-E-D, listen to yourself and do what needs to be done…which is probably less…for now.
Listen, there’s absolutely no shame in being tired — just ignoring your mind or body when it tells you so.
So, stop feeling guilty, so that you can get to feeling better. Amen, sis? Selah.
NOW REST.
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