The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
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CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
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LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
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CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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This collection features a medley of oils: Glo Up! Turmeric, Vitamin C + Aloe Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, Gro Up! Rosemary, Mint + Biotin Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, and Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil. I had the opportunity to try these oils on my hair and skin, and this was my experience.
Courtesy
Glo Up! Turmeric, Vitamin C + Aloe Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
This oil came right on time as I was in the process of getting rid of dark spots that appeared on my legs following the mosquito bites I received on a trip. With ingredients like turmeric and vitamin c that are known to brighten the skin, I was hopeful that this oil will help fade the spots. After using it daily for a few weeks, I noticed a slight difference. So I plan to continue using it as part of my daily routine.
Gro Up! Rosemary, Mint + Biotin Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
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Rosemary is one of my favorite herbs to use in my hair care. I make my own rosemary water, I use a rosemary and rice water conditioner, and I love using rosemary oil. So when I received Hollywood Beauty's Rosemary, Mint + Biotin oil, I was excited to try it.
After one use, I knew that this will become a go-to oil for my hair. I like to apply the oil on my ends and brush it throughout my hair for a luxurious feel. The mint makes my scalp tingle and with the addition of biotin, I know my hair is getting stronger.
Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
Sea moss has become popular over the years due to its rich nutrients and mineral content. So my experience with sea moss has always been through ingestion. I never thought about using it in my hair and body care, until now. Thanks to Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, I was up for the challenge.
This oil was made to help thicken your hair and condition the scalp. Amla is also another popular ingredient that is used in the oil to fight dandruff and promote hair growth. I've been on my hair growth journey, so this oil is a must-have.
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The reason why I thought they were a great way to start off this piece is because, although they’ve been together (including living together) for about five years (I believe) and Cey has mentioned getting a lot of social media pressure to propose to Jai, he said that he would move forward when he was ready which happened to be on Jai’s 25th birthday this year — and then, four months later, they eloped. Hmph. What seemed to take forever (to viewers, anyway), it ended up moving swiftly…when Cey was ready to move. And in the meantime, they both resolved to live in the moment and prepare in the meantime. Hmph. In January, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. By December, they became husband and wife. Good stuff.
The tie-in? You know, if there is one thing that I oftentimes encourage my coupled-up clients to do right around this time of the year, it's to have a conversation with their partner about whether or not they think their relationship is stagnant in some way. Synonyms for stagnant include idle, inactive, dormant, sluggish, and stale. The reason why it’s important to ponder over this is because, oftentimes, when relationships end, it’s not because people don’t care for one another anymore; hell, it’s not even that something “big” or “drastic” happened.
Oftentimes, it’s because they allowed their relationship to not develop, advance, progress — and when things aren’t moving forward, things tend to slip backwards or remain stuck…and nothing healthy can come from either of those outcomes.
A musician by the name of Matt Bellamy once said, “You have to evolve. Stagnation breeds boredom,” — and y’all, believe it or not, boredom is another big cause of break-ups. Keeping all of this in mind, I would hate for your relationship to “fade to black” in the upcoming year, simply because stagnation took over.
And so, in the few moments that are left in 2025, ask your partner the following questions. They may provide the clarity you need to know how to keep your relationship strong (or to get it back on track) over the next several months.
Are We in a Different Place than Where We Were Last Year?
GiphyBack to Cey and Jai for a second. Again, even though commenters were pretty close to being relentless when it came to wondering when Cey was going to pop the question, if you kept up with their content, even though Cey hadn’t proposed yet, one thing that you couldn’t say is that they were in the same place, relationally, year after year. For one thing, they stayed moving about (literally), and they oftentimes expressed goals that they wanted to reach, both as individuals and as a couple.
My point? If the ultimate goal between you and your partner is marriage, and that hasn’t happened yet, there is no way that 365 days have passed, and you shouldn’t be able to say that you’ve seen some relational growth, change, and progress over that period of time.
Are the two of you better at communicating? Has the intimacy between the two of you gotten stronger? Are you both better forgivers? Are you closer friends? Do you know more about one another’s wants and needs?
A stagnant relationship is one that, by definition, lacks development. If you can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you and your partner are better and stronger now than you were this time last year, pat yourself on the back — that is a really good sign that you two are in a really great place.
Do We Both Still Want the Same Things?
GiphyOne of the best things about a healthy relationship is that it helps you to tame your ego. I say that because if you are serious about making your relationship work and last, it’s going to require compromise, sacrifice, and humility. That’s why it irks me to no end when a relationship ends, and if a person in it is asked why, they will say something along the lines of the other individual didn’t love them simply because they didn’t want what they did.
This is a great example of someone’s ego showing up because the reality is that a person can absolutely love you and even want to be with you, and still not be on the same page about what you want. This is actually a part of the reason why it’s a good idea to do some thorough vetting during the beginning stages of dating (check out “The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have” and “The 'Pre-Sex Interview' To See If You're Both In Sync.”).
Anyway, the only way to know if someone wants what you do is to ask. And if you think that is silly after being with someone for a while, well, I’ll share with you a marriage quote that I oftentimes reference in sessions: “You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being.” (Richard J. Needham)
People change all of the time, so if you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you absolutely owe it to yourself, your partner, and the relationship overall to “check in” to make sure that you both ultimately want the same things from your dynamic. Never assume. Assumptions typically backfire — one way or another.
Is There Any Area Where You Think We Are Wasting Time?
I have always liked this particular definition of waste: “to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return,” and when it comes to this particular article, please remember that if you are pouring into something and not getting much of a return…that is the textbook definition of wasting time, effort, and energy.
So yes, it definitely works in your and your partner’s favor to ponder if the two of you are wasting time in an area. One way to figure this out is to look through the lens of INVESTING vs. SPENDING. Whatever you all are doing, is it an investment where you are seeing a payoff, or are you just spending and not really getting much in return?
I’ll say this — if there is more fighting than peace; if you don’t have the same values; if one or both of you are acting like you are satisfied as far as intimacy goes when you really aren’t; if when you hang out, there feels like a disconnection is there; if one or both of you are walking on eggshells in order to get along, and/or spending time with each other isn’t one of your all-time favorite things to do…all of this are indications of wasting time because, again, you’re giving but…what are you really getting?
Do We Complement Where We Are Heading As Individuals?
GiphyWhen God decided (because it was him; not Adam) that it was time for Adam to have a companion, the Classic Amplified Version of Scripture states that the Lord said this: “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” (Genesis 2:18 — AMPC) Hmph, don’t get me started on how much nonsense I see on social media that causes me to wonder if people actually believe this. For now, I’ll just say that it’s important to peep what this verse says a good helpmate looks like: she is suitable, adaptable (that’s a good one), and complementary to her man.
Complementary is a great word. So much, in fact, that several years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life.” When you complement someone, you help to complete them. This is why I wish people would really embrace how masculinity and femininity are designed to BALANCE (i.e., complement) one another. And even beyond that, when it comes to your relationship specifically, where do you and your partner complete each other? Not in the rom-com way so much as where do they “balance you out”?
A married couple who I work with, one of the things that I’m trying to get them to chill out about is embracing that their differences actually can work in their favor if they simply stopped trying to turn each other into carbon copies of themselves (another way that ego manifests, by the way). An example of what I mean is the husband is very chill and cautious in how he moves while the wife is spontaneous and likes to take all kinds of risks. If they embraced the way this could COMPLEMENT both of them as individuals, she wouldn’t be so emotionally high-strung and unnecessarily stressed, and he wouldn’t overthink his way out of potentially great opportunities.
Another favorite quote of mine is “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (Larry Dixon) Although you and your partner shouldn’t be so different that you’re constantly clashing and butting heads, it’s okay to bring different things out of each other by how you complement one another. Spend some time talking about if/how you do. It can reveal quite a bit.
What Would You Like to Accomplish, Relationally, Next Year?
GiphyRemember how I touched on the fact that boredom can lead to the demise of a relationship? As I close this out, another way to avoid stagnation in your relationship is to create plans for it.
In 2026, where do you want to travel? What new things do you want to try/attempt together? What are the strengths that you want to celebrate and the weaknesses that you want to work on? How do you want to progress spiritually? What needs still need to be met? What wants do you wish to prioritize? What habits do you want to break? What boundaries need to be set? What do you both want to get better at as far as communication goes? What can you do to become better friends, confidants, and lovers?
It’s kind of wild that, although most of us know the quote, “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” many of us literally FAIL at applying it to our relationship. Yet there is data all over the place that supports that if you want to succeed at something, planning is one of the most effective ways to do it.
Just ask Cey and Jai. #wink
Salute to them and Happy New Year to you and your man.
Here’s to plenty of progress…with barely any stagnation, chile.
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