
Exclusive: Storm Reid On Prioritizing Her Privacy And Setting Boundaries

To say that this Gen-Z power player is taking the entertainment industry by storm is not only a clever pun, but the truth to say the least. The 19-year-old launched a bathing suit collection with PacSun. She has been featured in project after project consistently from her role as Gia in Euphoria to her latest appearance in HBO Max’s record-breaking series The Last of Us, and she’s a full-time sophomore at the University of Southern California. Damn, what can’t Storm Reid do?
The Georgia peach recently took her talents to another big screen feature alongside The Best Man: Final Chapters star Nia Long and Never Have I Ever breakout star Megan Suri for mystery-drama-thriller hybrid Missing. Starring as June, Reid’s character uses her wits and Generation Z intuition to track down her missing mother after an international trip to Colombia gone wrong.
Storm Reid and Megan Suri in 'Missing.'Photo Credit: Temma Hankin
When her mom (Long) goes off the grid, June uncovers some dark secrets about her mother, her mother’s boyfriend, and life as she knows it begins to unravel as she scours the internet with every site, app, and bugged camera possible to find her mother.
During a conversation with xoNecole, Reid got candid about working with the icon that is Nia Long for the Screen Gems-produced film, morning mantras and routines that keep her headspace sane while taking on multiple roles, and how she sets boundaries while she goes through adulting in the public eye.
xoNecole: How did June differ from any other character that you've ever played and how did it challenge you as an actress?
Storm Reid: I think June is really relatable, actually. She's just, at the end of the day, a young girl trying to figure out who she wants to be and how she wants to take up space in the world. Obviously, her given circumstances are way different from any of the characters that I've played. I love that June jumped right into action. And even though her and her mom butt heads and disagree, she will do anything that she can to find her mom. I think that's really important and something that I can relate to.
xoN: How would you say that this film highlighted the brilliance and innovation of Generation Z?
SR: I think that's what makes the movie work. That's what makes the movie so cool, relatable, and fresh because we do live in a social media era. To see this exciting movie with all of the technologies and social media platforms that we already use is really fun. To have an 18-year-old girl at the center of that story is a lot of fun, too, so I hope people enjoy it.
xoN: What was your experience like working with the icon that is Nia Long?
SR: Yes, like you said, she's an icon. I have grown up watching her so to be able to work with somebody that you've grown up looking at and admiring is really cool. She just is so lovely and she was so supportive of me on set and poured into me and really made me feel comfortable. I'm glad to have worked with her.
xoN: Another thing that I thought that was very interesting about the movie was that it was essentially shot in one setting. How challenging was it to shoot a movie that was all in one place, as opposed to projects you've done where you've been in scenes that were all over?
SR: It was a little uncomfortable because, like you said, I'm used to being in different places and having scene partners and not being confined to a screen in a little box. I think those challenges made me stronger as an actress and made me realize that I need to stop relying on the resources given to me. That being location, stage directions, scene partners, and even cameras. [Without that] you have to dig deep and bet on yourself and find the intersection of trying to be as grounded as possible but also portraying the emotional stakes. Thankfully, I think I was able to pull it off.
"I'm used to being in different places and having scene partners and not being confined to a screen in a little box. I think those challenges made me stronger as an actress and made me realize that I need to stop relying on the resources given to me."
Storm Reid and Nia Long attend the Stage 6 and Screen Gems world premiere of 'Missing.'
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
xoN: You've been in a lot of projects, but this movie is more of a suspense-thriller. How did you mentally prepare yourself and keep yourself in a good headspace while filming?
SR: It wasn't that hard. I think once I got the hang of the technical aspects, everything else came together and I just tried to step into my character's shoes and become them and not forget, like I said, their given circumstances, but also not neglect how I would feel in that situation. I'm glad that that was able to all come together and I was able to pull it off as seamlessly as possible.
xoN: 'Missing' really hones in on a relationship between mother and daughter. When it comes to you and your mother, how much does your relationship with her pour into you and put you into a positive headspace when it comes to the craziness of the entertainment industry?
SR: To be able to have my mom by my side is such a blessing. Even though I am growing up, I still love to have her around because she protects me, she's super supportive and she's mom. Anytime I'm feeling any type of way, I can go to her and we're going to figure it out. To be able to be on this journey with her is a really incredible experience and we've made beautiful memories and we'll continue to do so. I'm glad to have her around.
xoN: What’re some of the most important things your mom has ever taught you?
SR: She's taught me a lot, but being a good person has always been at the core of everything that she's taught us. Everybody has their bad days, but if you are trying to be a good person, have a good heart, and show up the best way you can in every situation, I think that's going to get people really, really far.
xoN: How do you continue balancing life as a full-time student and a full-time actress? Do you ever feel like you're not pouring yourself 100% into one or the other, or do you feel like you've established a balance?
SR: It is challenging and can be overwhelming, but I just try to give myself grace because I am doing a lot. I feel like I'm getting things done, giving 100% to both things, and I just have to remind myself that I'm trying the best that I can. I'm taking it one day at a time and I'm so blessed, and fortunate that I even have the opportunity to balance both a full-time career and going to school.
"I just have to remind myself that I'm trying the best that I can. I'm taking it one day at a time, and I'm so blessed and fortunate that I even have the opportunity to balance both a full-time career and going to school."
Storm Reid attends the Los Angeles premiere of HBO's 'The Last of Us.'
Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage
xoN: When you're off set, what are some ways that you like to stay mentally sane and what are some of Storm's self-care tools?
SR: I like being by myself. I love isolating myself to just take a moment to myself, whether that's in my room [or] listening to music in my car. Being with my friends and family obviously makes me so happy. I listen to a lot of music. I think self-care, for me, is intersected directly with listening to music. No matter what type of music, I need some noise. I need something to uplift my spirit [and] get me moving.
xoN: What does a morning routine look like for you and what are some of the mantras that you say to yourself to get yourself in a positive headspace?
SR: I try to start every day before I touch my phone and when I wake up, just say a prayer. Just to thank God that I'm alive and I'm able to breathe, move, get out of bed, and do whatever I need to do. It usually involves some turn-up music in the mornings, [which] is what I love to do and it's a great way to get my day started.
xoN: Speaking again about the many roles you’ve had, let’s talk about intentionality. How do you know when you're aligned with a role or a project? What do you look for when you're selecting what you want to do?
SR: I try to be as intentional as possible and purposeful as possible with my projects, but I think it has to align with my morals and my values and my art can't compromise who I am as a person, one. Two, I think as creative people we have the opportunity to say things and it doesn't need to be a preachy way, but if we're not saying anything, we're doing ourselves a disservice and doing audiences a disservice as well. I want art, or at least the art that I'm a part of, to be reflective of the real world, real situations, real stories, and that's what I really look for and will continue to look for.
"I want art, or at least the art that I'm a part of, to be reflective of the real world, real situations, real stories, and that's what I really look for and will continue to look for."
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
xoN: Is there any role that you haven't played yet that you have your eye on and want to explore?
SR: I'd love to do an action film one day. I think that would be really fun and maybe even try my hand at comedy. I think people are so used to seeing me serious and distraught and stressed out, like everybody else says. I think being able to be a part of a comedy one day would be really fun.
xoN: Have you ever said “no” to a role, and what made you want to set that boundary and pass on the role?
SR: Absolutely. I say no to things all the time because it just doesn't match up with the things that I want to do at the time. The creative team can be fantastic, but it doesn't match with the next role that I'm trying to play, or the script just didn't really move me in any way. I need to be impacted. If I'm not impacted, I don't feel like the audience is going to be impacted and then I just feel like it's going to be not good [or] not believable; it won't feel good. It's a case-by-case scenario.
xoN: What boundaries have you worked hard to set in place while growing up in the public eye as a young Black girl in entertainment? Whether it comes to roles, the privacy of your own life, or letting people in on social media, what boundaries have you said, "This is my limit" to?
SR: I think the privacy thing is a big one for me because I do share a lot, but I don't share everything. I am a firm believer of keeping some things private and keeping some things close to your chest and close to your heart. I think as long as people understand, yes, I'm here to share my life and share my family, my friends, my experiences, my travels, and obviously, the things that I work on, but I'm not going to share everything and I'm not perfect.
I'm perfectly imperfect. I'm not always going to say the right thing. I'm not always going to do the right thing, but it's important that people give me grace because other people get grace. So why can't people in entertainment or people in the limelight get that same grace?
Check out Storm in Missing, out in theaters now.
Featured image by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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10 Women Tell Me Why They Made The Decision To Be Estranged From Their Parent(s)
Although there are many quotes that I have used in these articles throughout the years, I’d be almost shocked if the one that hasn’t been included the most is “Adulthood is surviving childhood.”
I thought about that one, again, recently, when I checked out a BuzzFeed article entitled, “People Are Just Now Realizing They Had An 'Eggshell Parent' And The Ways It's Secretly Impacting Their Adult Lives.” If you’ve never heard of “eggshelling” before, it’s a term that is used for if you felt like you had to walk on eggshells as a kid because your parents' emotions were super erratic and hella unpredictable. SMDH.
Personally, that is just one of the things I experienced while growing up, although the main reason why I’ve been estranged from my mother for (I think) about six years now (I honestly haven’t really been keeping track at this point) is because she simply doesn’t respect my boundaries. Even well into my adulthood, she has refused to do it and it was messing with my inner peace and personal growth on a few different levels — and y’all, I don’t care who it is, no one should have that kind of power over someone else’s life (if you want to read more about my journey with estrangement, I tackle the topic in my latest book).
And before some of you come with the ever-so-manipulated Bible verse “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), I hope you also remember that there is a Scripture that says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 — NKJV) To provoke is “to stir up, arouse, or call forth (feelings, desires, or activity)”; know what else it is: “to anger, enrage, exasperate, or vex.” Funny how it is not preached or taught nearly enough that parents are absolutely not supposed to raise their kids or treat their adult children in a way that angers, enrages, exasperates, or vexes them — and think about it: when’s the last time you heard a sermon on that? I’ll wait.
Besides, unless you’re someone who has made the courageous decision to put distance between the person/people who’ve raised you, you honestly don’t get how much of a sacrifice it can be. Very few of us are flippant about that decision. Very few of us saw our adult life without our parent(s) in it. Very few of us wanted to deal with all of the “fallout” that comes with making that kind of choice because listen, for me, it’s almost like being in witness protection in the sense of having to also leave certain people who are associated with her alone as well because either they also don’t respect boundaries or they try further victimize me by attempting to impose their opinions into something that they absolutely shouldn’t (for instance, when I shared what I went through with her, one of my closest friends at the time, more than once called me “petty”…yeah, he had to go; you don’t have to defend why you need to protect yourself…if you are doing that, those are unsafe people you are talking to).
It’s not like I’m rare either. In fact, it’s been reported that close to 30 percent of adults are currently estranged from at least one of their parents (you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here). And with that being said, today, we’re going to hear from 10 women (well, technically 12 if you include the videos at the beginning and end) as they share their own reasons why they made the decision to go “no contact” with their own parent/parents.
If you are estranged, I hope you will see that you are not alone. If you aren’t, I hope it will help you to have more compassion for those who have made this kind of choice. Because although “adulthood is surviving childhood” is true for many of us, it actually wasn’t supposed to be that way. And so, we’ve had to take great lengths to go from “surviving” to “flourishing”…even if that meant doing it without the ones who — alongside God, of course — created us.
Article continues after the video.
*Middle names are used so that people can speak freely*
1. Michelle. 32. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“My mother is a narcissist — only I didn’t know it because I didn’t have much to compare her to because she kept me away from a lot of…everything. Ironically, that is a telling sign that you’ve got a narcissistic parent: they think you are an extension of them, so they try and make you do everything just like them. Since they are so bad at respecting boundaries, they don’t care how old you are — they think they have a say in every decision that you make because their ego is bigger than their love.
It took me years of therapy to recognize this but once I did and I told my mom that she was hypercritical, that she used to pit me and my siblings against each other, that she only knows how to gaslight and manipulate — she played the victim and told me that if I couldn’t accept her as she was, we couldn’t have a relationship.
That’s another thing about narcissist: they hate accountability. I think there should be more articles about parents who are estranged from their kids because they pull that ‘my way or the highway’ BS. I didn’t exactly leave my mom, but I did tell her what I wasn’t going to tolerate. We haven’t spoken in four years, ever since I drew that line. She left because she didn’t know how to humble herself, and I am fine with that. Arrogant people are toxic to be around.”
2. Iyan. 36. Estranged from Her Parents for 11 Years.
“I don’t think that a lot of parents get that they act like their kids should idolize them, which is crazy. We’re not toys or puppets who are supposed to do whatever they say, whenever they say it. Even as a parent myself, I think there is a difference between a child’s individuality and a child obeying me. Too many other parents have too much ego to think the differences through. To your question — I am estranged from my parents because they disapproved of who I chose to marry. He’s not the same faith as them but I don’t think that would even matter because they damn near betrothed me when I was a kid.
They wanted to choose my career path, my husband, my role in church — everything. It got to the point where they were disrespecting my husband, our relationship, and my feelings, and so it was time to boomerang their own Bible and remind them that when you get married, you ‘leave and cleave’ to your spouse and move on from your family. If your family accepts that, they can be in your life. If not, you’ve got to move on. They chose for me to be estranged, not me. I put my husband first, just like I was supposed to.”
3. Jahkai. 29. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“Sometimes I think that people just have children so that they can have someone to boss around as kids and intimidate when they become adults. My mother is one of those people because it’s like her whole existence centers around trying to force me to live the life that she wants me to live. I used to be so afraid of her, even if that just meant afraid of her rejection, that I would go along with it.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter and saw that she wasn’t even going to respect me as a mom — and when I saw signs that she was going to try and pull that shit with my own child? The claws came out. I tried expressing my concerns and setting some boundaries, but she dismissed my feelings and walked right over my boundaries, so she had to go. There was no way that she was going to try and raise the child I birthed. My child needs peace. So do I.”
4. Gillian. 24. Estranged from Her Parents for Almost Two Years.
“I’m bisexual. That’s the beginning and end of it. I personally think it’s creepy when a parent can be so invested into their grown child’s sexuality that it ends up wrecking their own world. You sleep with who you want to sleep with, and I will do the same.
My parents don’t see it that way. They told me that unless I stop loving women, we have nothing to talk about. You only love me if I love who and how you love? That doesn’t sound like love at all.
I don’t expect my parents to agree with my life or even like it. I just don’t want you penalizing me because we are different. Seems really immature to be any other way…to me, anyway.”
5. Aubrie. 27. Estranged from Father for Four Years.
“My father always wanted me to be an accountant, and I hate math. That’s insane. That’s what happens when you don’t make the time to get to know your own children. So many parents are egomaniacs in that way — just because I look like you doesn’t mean that I am you. Until my sophomore year in college, I just held my tongue and suffered through my education because when I was living at home, I didn’t really have a choice, and when I went to school, my parents paid for my education.
They didn’t want me to have any debt, and I appreciated that, but my spirit was going into debt anyway because my dad had me on a path that I didn’t like or want, and my mom was too weak to speak up for either one of us. By my junior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get student loans, so that I could start over and major in English. That pissed my dad off two ways because I was changing my major and I was going to take on debt.
We’re not estranged in the classic sense. It’s more like he doesn’t come to the phone whenever I call, and he grunts words over the holidays. So, I call less and go home even less than that. We’re headed towards ‘no contact’ if he doesn’t get over the fact that he has a life, and so do I.”
6. Lameeya. 41. Estranged from Her Mother for Eight Years.
“My mother? I just don’t like her — I never really have. I can’t stand how we’ll all agree that you should choose your friends wisely, but when it comes to your blood, it’s like you should be all in their lap simply because they are related to you. Toxic is toxic, and my mother is the embodiment of that. She plays mind games. She manipulates. She gaslights. She’s spoiled and entitled. I would never pick her as a friend. She drains me in every way. It’s like whenever I would even sense that she was going to call or come around, I would get hives, and it got to the point where it didn’t make sense that I should suffer just because she’s my mother. Who came up with that?”
7. Sloane. 25. Estranged from Her Mother for One Year.
“I grew up COGIC. If you know, you know. When you’re a kid, you don’t know any different or better, but once I started to seek out my own path, I realized that Christianity just wasn’t for me. My mother damn near lives at church and so, of course, I was declaring that I wanted to go to hell in her eyes when I told her that I had chosen the Baháʼí faith. Christians can be so rude. Somehow, they want you to respect what they believe, but they are so comfortable preaching hell and damnation if you don’t think like them.
Anyway, a part of why I chose Baháʼí is because it’s very peaceful to me, and religion never brought me peace in my mother’s house. Now that I’m all about this peace-filled life, anything that is ‘anti’ it has to go. She was on the top of my list. If you can’t respect what makes me ‘me,’ why are you here? It’s just been a year now. If we remain out of contact, that’s kind of on her, but I have no desire to hear her preach every time we speak. Be my mom. I don’t want a pastor.”
8. Torrin. 33. Estranged from Her Parents for Six Years.
“You have your own dysfunctional issues going on if you think that you owe someone your sanity simply because they birthed you. A good parent doesn’t just give you life — they provide a safe environment for that life, and my parents didn’t.
My mother was hell on wheels, and my father was a weak man who let her be that way. She was controlling, erratic, and exhausting, while he just let it all happen.
I recently read that Khloe Kardashian said that her mom didn’t like it when she first started therapy. Controlling parents never do. It took me a lot of therapy to stop beating myself up mentally the way that my mother did emotionally and sometimes physically, but once I got that she was the problem and healing was the solution, I had no problem letting them both go: her for being abusive and my father for being complacent.”
9. Kristine. 40. Estranged from Her Mother for Six Months.
“You always want your parents to get along with your husband — I just didn’t bet on my mother loving him more than me, especially now that we are divorced. That man cheated on me, more than once, and although I didn’t tell my mom while we were married about it, once we separated and I explained why I made what was a really difficult decision for me, she kept finding excuses for him and even tried to make me feel bad for not trying to make it work. Divorces are hard, and the last thing I needed was my mother trying to ‘beat me up’ for standing up for myself.
Now I’ve got questions about her marriage because if you think that I should tolerate nonsense, have you been tolerating your husband’s? Has he been tolerating yours? You get a certain age, and you start to wonder how much projecting your parents do onto you. Anyway, we haven’t talked to each other in six months. She and my ex apparently still go out to dinner, though. You two enjoy.”
10. Madolyn. 45. Estranged from her Father for 20 Years.
“I had an abusive father. He was an alcoholic while I was growing up, and so fear instead of love kept me in communication with him once I became an adult. The plot twist is, he got clean while I was in college, but he suddenly had all kinds of amnesia about the pain that he caused. His apologies were sh-t like ‘I don’t remember that, but if you need me to apologize, okay.’ So, our lives were a living hell, and that’s all you’ve got because it hurts you too much to face it? Ain’t that a bitch.
The last time we spoke was right before I turned 25. I think someone is more harmful when they can’t own their sh-t than when they are actually doing it, because that means they could do it again. No thanks. I’ll take wholeness.”
____
As you can see, being estranged from a parent, going “no contact” with them, it has many layers, reasons, and scenarios. For me, as I listened to all of these women, what did come to my mind, though, is — how beautiful is it that, if the “beauty for ashes” in their stories is they had the strength to become self-aware, self-sufficient and healthy adults in spite of the cracks in their foundation, then there is a silver lining in it all. You should never feel guilt or shame for protecting yourself in ways that your parents absolutely should have. NOT. EVER.
And so, the sacrifice was well worth it — because ladies, look at you now. Salute.
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