Actress Lauren "Lolo" Spencer Talks Disability Stereotypes And Online Dating
If you don’t know actress Lauren “Lolo” Spencer, it’s time to get to know her.
The breakout star of Mindy Kaling’s new HBO comedy series The Sex Lives of College Girls, Lolo plays Jocelyn, a fiery scene-stealer whose unapologetic nature and uncanny ability to make the audience laugh whenever she appears makes her one of the show’s most memorable characters in a cast of college freshman characters. The series itself is being praised by fans and critics alike for being inclusive, relatable, and real.
“Jocelyn is a lot of who I was in college,” Lolo tells xoNecole of Jocelyn’s seemingly effortless appeal. “She's just very free-spirited and fun, which is also a lot of who I am today. But, she is a little bit more of an asshole than I am. She’s a little shady, which I like!”
It’s hard to believe this is only Lolo’s second role as an actress. In 2019, she starred in the independent film Give Me Liberty, earning a Spirit Awards nomination for the role and competing with Octavia Spencer and Jennifer Lopez for Best Supporting Actress.
Courtesy of Lauren "Lolo" Spencer
But Lolo’s road to award-nominated actress and premium TV series regular wasn’t easy.
At 14, she was diagnosed with ALS, a progressive disease with a survival rate averaging around five years. The star went on to graduate high school, earn a bachelor’s degree in video editing and begin a career in marketing and distribution before she turned to Hollywood.
But Lolo, now 30-something, never felt comfortable knowing her career was in someone else’s hands. “As a person with a disability, employment is incredibly hard to find. If I’m not mistaken, less than two percent of the job market are people on record saying that they have disabilities," she says. "I just didn’t like the feeling of someone being in control of my livelihood because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to find another job.” She decided to launch her own YouTube channel and lifestyle brand, Sitting Pretty, where she shared her journey with ALS as well as her work, friendships, and dating life.
Courtesy of Lauren "Lolo" Spencer
“I’ve always been positive but creating content helped,” she says. “Talking about it meant no one could use it against me. It meant being OK in my vulnerability. Owning my vulnerability and knowing that I’m constantly supported by my loved ones helps with my confidence, but I still have insecurities.”
Sharing her truth has been impacting generations. “I get a lot of comments from parents who have children with disabilities who thank me for the content and hope that their children have that amount of confidence.”
One of the things Lolo makes crystal clear is that she hates when others see just her physical disability and not her humanity. She shares that she was at a party getting a little turnt with her friends when a guy came over to “applaud her for being brave" when she was simply living her best life. Talk about a buzz kill. “The underlying tone of all of it is, ‘you’re not worthy of existence and if I do recognize it, I don’t recognize you as a human. I recognize you as a person who is under a circumstance.’”
Courtesy of Lauren "Lolo" Spencer
Through her film and TV roles, Lolo brings humanity and nuance to her characters that an ableist world often tries to strip away.
"I want roles that are going to be effective and representative of the culture in the ways that I’ve been advocating for,” she shares about her process. She even told her agent that she didn't want roles in medical shows that are going to feel ableist, or content that is rooted in disabled people providing inspiration for non-disabled people as a way to feel better about themselves.
“It’s challenging because when you do that, you shrink the auditions you could get, but because I’m strategic, I’ve had a lot of success."
When we move to the topic of dating, Lolo keeps it very real, talking about the challenges. She had a “pandemic boo” who stressed her out way too much, and she admits that dating's been difficult since.
“People are revering me so much that they’re neglecting that I’m a woman. It’s almost this superhero admiration. You don’t have to take me to Nobu on our first date. Like, I’m still a chill girl.” She also admits wishing guys would be more open to a healthy conversation. “Like, what if I just wanted to have fun?”
Courtesy of Lauren "Lolo" Spencer
Today, Lolo is much more aware of who she gives her time to, and though she admits to staying off the dating apps, she gives a few helpful pieces of advice for creating online profiles, especially for people with disabilities.
“One of my biggest tips is: If you are a person with a visible disability, show your device or body in your profile photo. That will immediately cut out the people who are just so shallow to not even consider that this is an actual human being that you might actually get along with!” She also advised being funny and fun in your profile caption, showing a variety of photos, and beginning every conversation solely with the goal of getting to know someone.
One day soon, Lolo hopes to star in a rom-com and change the way disabled people in love are portrayed on the big screen. “I love, love, love comedy. With rom-coms, they usually cast leads as people who are to be desired or sought after. We haven't seen that with characters with disabilities. So, I would love for that to be represented, while still being fun and funny.”
Lolo Spencer is just getting started.
To keep up with Lauren "Lolo" Spencer, follow her on Instagram @itslololove, and don’t forget to watch season one ofThe Sex Lives of College Girls, now streaming on HBO Max.
Featured image courtesy of Lauren "Lolo" Spencer
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage