

6 Inspiring & Empowering Points Made In Conversation With Rep. Maxine Waters
A few weeks ago, xoNecole was invited to attend Rep. Maxine Waters' (D-CA) third annual Millennial Media Row. I wasn't sure what to expect or why we were chosen specifically but that changed soon after the event started. Over the last four years, we have seen a dramatic shift in terms of leadership and it has raised concern for where we are headed as a country. With the 2020 Presidential election coming up quickly, a lot of support has been thrown behind candidates that can defeat Trump with consideration of platforms coming in second. In a perfect world with a perfect candidate, those two things would coexist but the question is, do they?
Before the last Presidential election, there was one voice that resonated with the thoughts of black women across the nation. Rep. Waters quickly became a refreshing voice to younger voters even though her career in politics was well established and extensive. She said what we were all thinking with unwavering, unapologetic confidence. With over 40 years in public service, Rep. Waters has become one of the most powerful women in American politics of current times.
After making history by becoming the first woman and first African American Chair of the House Financial Services Committee, she taught black women the importance of "reclaiming my time" and how to take up space when you get a seat at the table. Rep. Waters is nothing short of role model for black millennial women and trusted advisor for honest commentary on the state of our nation. So I knew sitting down and speaking with her was going to leave me inspired and ready to create change in my community.
Below are a few standout quotes from our conversation to encourage and ignite black women as we progress forward in this election season.
*Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
On black women’s power and leadership in the political arena:
"First of all, what I'm pleased about is finally there's some recognition that black women make a significant difference in these campaigns. And what the women did, I believe in Alabama, was it? Where they got so much press and the coverage has gone a long way toward absolutely sealing the fact that black women can and make a difference. But I've kind of always known that. I've always known that black women somehow took leadership without it being given to them. [They] stood up and even [as they were] accused of being confrontational and bossy and sassy and all of that, but spoke their mind in an effort to protect their children and their families, etc. So I think that black women know what the issues are. I think black women are concerned about not only their ability to realize their potential."
On the importance of black women supporting each other:
"I have found that black women not only can get along well but can organize and work together in ways where sisters appreciate each other. And I think that is being demonstrated more and more. And so when they take this togetherness that we are witnessing, and we're seeing, and apply it in the political arena, they make things happen. And so I think that black women are gaining more respect and not just being looked at as volunteers, but as paid personnel, [executing] jobs in all aspects of these campaigns.
"We have black women writers, we have black women that are graphic artists, we have black women lawyers, etc. And increasingly those talents are being, I think, appreciated. Increasingly black women are feeling more comfortable in coming forward and saying, 'I can do that.' Yes, I'd like to have a job here. And so, I just think that the future for black women is promising. And I think that we are going to see black women achieve success in the areas that were never thought of as places where black women could offer leadership. And I'm very comfortable and very pleased with that."
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"I think that we are going to see black women achieve success in the areas that were never thought of as places where black women could offer leadership. And I'm very comfortable and very pleased with that."
On where black women millennials should start to break into politics:
"My advice is to get into a campaign, put your nose in everywhere, [and] learn what these relationships are all about. Learn how money is raised. That's an investment. Go and choose someone that you think exemplifies the kind of leadership that you would like to see in your community, in your neighborhood. I do like the idea of local politics. I do like the idea of city councils and state legislatures. As a matter of fact, I think it is more rewarding than being in Congress. Congress is a huge place where it takes a long time to navigate a piece of legislation from the House, through the Senate, and up to the presidency."
On why she doesn’t wait for permission and neither should you:
"This past weekend we had a busy schedule and I did a number of things. [Among those things,] I had an event at a church [that] was doing something extraordinarily inspiring with the young people telling the history of the civil rights movement and the voting rights movement. While I was in the church, the choir started to sing these old spirituals and gospel music. And there's one [that] says, 'Before I'll be a slave, I'll be buried in my grave and go home to my Lord to be free.' And I thought you know what, that's what you call resistance.
"I got emotional about it because here you had songs like that, developed by black people who live that resistance and who meant what they said. And while we don't have slavery, I think sometimes our minds are still enslaved because we refuse to exercise our judgment and we're waiting for somebody to give us permission to do and to be. And now that's one thing that I pride myself on, I don't wait for permission."
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"While we don't have slavery, I think sometimes our minds are still enslaved because we refuse to exercise our judgment and we're waiting for somebody to give us permission to do and to be. And now that's one thing that I pride myself on, I don't wait for permission."
On how to get things accomplished in the face of adversity:
"My mother said, 'Do with what you got.' So, I started taking all that I learned from my mother and my grandmother about how to do with what you have and not be stymied by what you don't have. So that's kind of a part of me. I really believe what I'm saying. I didn't feel any sense of danger. I didn't feel any sense of being worried about whether or not anybody likes me or not."
On what she encourages black women to do going into the future:
"Well, you know one of the things that has always bothered me is, black people as hard as they may be working, you know for their families and you know in the church and all that, don't demand anything of us. You don't tell us to come to your community meetings. I have white people call me from all over the country, telling me what they want me to do, not even from my district. Nobody asked us any real questions about public policy. What are the records of the elected officials? What are they voting for?
"We have elected officials who vote for payday lending and people don't know. That's what's trapping our community into long-term debt that they can't get out of. But nobody says anything to them about it. And so I think that I would say, particularly for black women, get together and invite elected officials at every level of government to come to where you are, organize an event because we do get together all the time. Let's just ask elected officials to come. And if black women do that, I think they will pay attention."
Featured image by Getty Images
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Russell and Nina Westbrook Dish On The Key Ways To Avoid Resentment In Relationships
Russell and Nina Westbrook are one of those low-key, unproblematic couples we don’t talk about enough. They met in college and got married in 2015. They also have a beautiful family with three kids. While Russell is an NBA star, Nina is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a mental health advocate.
She recently launched the podcast The Relationship Chronicles with Nina Westbrook, and in the latest episode, she had none other than her husband on as a guest. The college sweethearts dived into important topics from marriage to children and how they navigate it all.
One of the topics they touched on was dealing with resentment in your relationship. The former MVP highlighted the sacrifices his wife has had to make in order for him to pursue a career in the NBA, and that’s why it’s also important for him to support his wife whenever he can.
“For me is respecting and understanding what your partner do and the time it takes,” Russell said. “Not kind of downplaying what they do, understanding the time and energy and effort they're doing to make sure whether it’s their job or making sure home is taken care of, and understanding that, I think that is the challenge of not being resentful.”
Nina agreed and also shared her thoughts on resentment. According to her, one of the best things couples should do is have their own identity and passions outside of the relationship in an effort to be fulfilled.
“I also think that when you’re in a relationship, that’s why it’s so important that each individual kinda pursue their own passions and follow their own dreams as I feel like it only becomes or leads to resentment when one person is not feeling fulfilled in what they're doing in their lives,” she explained.
“And so, they will start to look at the other partner who’s happy or excelling or promoting or moving along in their journey, then they’re left feeling stuck like they sacrificed themselves, their happiness, their career, their future and have not pursued it in the name of the relationship or their partner. So, it’s so much easier to avoid those feelings of resentment when you’re each equally pursuing your passions.”
The couple has many passions that they work on together and separately. Outside of basketball and his family, Russell has become known for his eclectic style and started the fashion brand Honor The Gift. Nina has her podcast, and she also started the mental health website Bene. Together, they run the Why Not? Foundation, which works with kids in underserved communities.
“I’m a firm believer that one person can’t be everything to you, so you have to sort of seek out those different friendships or groups or hobbies or activities that help to fulfill you,” Nina concluded.
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Feature image by Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Religion of Sports