If you read enough of my content on here, you'll know that I'm good for throwing in some stats. It's not that I think everyone reflects what every study reveals; still, oftentimes, research and data are a good way to get an idea of where a lot of folks are coming from, on any given topic. Take what men find to be sexy, for instance. A few years ago,Maxim published a study revealing that 46 percent of men find a woman's face to be her sexiest feature (followed by her butt which got 13 percent of the vote). When I asked some of my male friends if they agreed, they did. They did make sure to add to it by saying that the best feature on a lady's face was a toss-up between her eyes and her lips.
Shoot, I'm a heterosexual woman and even I will co-sign on that; although I think that a woman's—especially a Black woman's—lips are what get my top vote. There is something about a full set of lips with a bold color and a thin layer of gloss that's on them that makes me find Black women to be the best thing the Creator ever made. Whew.
So, in honor of his divine masterpiece and the lips that are on each and everyone of us, I wanted to share some things that you can do to make your lips even sexier than they already are (if that is even possible). Let's hit it.
1. Brush ‘Em
There are all sorts of things that can cause us to have chapped lips—licking our lips too much, a lot of sun exposure, dry air, spicy foods, vitamin deficiencies (low zinc and iron, especially) and, of course, not getting enough water. And there's nothing worse than trying to put on your favorite color lipstick when your lips are feathering because of it (ugh). Something that you can do to combat this kind of madness is to use your toothbrush to exfoliate your lips. I recommend wetting your lips and putting a thin layer of baking soda on them first. Then wet your toothbrush and gently brush your lips in small circles until the dead skin is gone. Oh, and since ingredients like lanolin, menthol and salicylic acid can actually contribute to chapped lips, avoid putting anything with those ingredients on them. Personally, I follow up exfoliating with sweet almond oil and it's absolutely divine.
2. Make Your Own Lip Mask
Lips can stand to be pampered sometimes too. A quick and easy way to soothe them is to make a lip mask. All you need is to mix a tablespoon of milk with a drop of rose essential oil.
The lactic acid in milk will gently exfoliate your lips. Rose oil is an anti-inflammatory oil that can reduce any irritation that you might have.
If you'd prefer to make a more sophisticated overnight lip mask, you can check out a step-by-step walkthrough here.
3. Apply Some Cinnamon Oil
If you want your lips to appear a little bit fuller or you wish to create a bit more of a "pout", cinnamon oil can totally make that happen for you. It works so well because it is made from cassia oil which, when applied to your lips, it will immediately increase blood circulation and make them appear a little bit bigger. You can make this happen by mixing a teaspoon of grapeseed oil and a couple of drops of cinnamon oil (careful, it's pretty potent) together and apply the solution to your lips for five minutes. Or, you can mix one-half teaspoon of ground cinnamon powder with an open Vitamin E capsule; mix both of those together and leave them on for 10 minutes. Either way you decide to go, once the time is up, rinse thoroughly with warm water. You should instantly see some subtle-yet-effective effects.
4. Try Shea Butter As a Base
Shea butter is one of my favorite natural beauty go-tos. When it comes to my lips, I put it on at night so they will remain moisturized while I sleep. During the day, a thin layer of shea butter can serve as a wonderful base or foundation for my lipstick. That's because, thanks to the fatty acids and antioxidants that are in shea butter, it is able to work as a "primer" so that my lips (and lip color) look nice and smooth all day long.
5. Save Money by Turning Your Shiny Lipstick into a Matte One
Do you have some days when you want to rock a matte lip color instead of a shiny one? You don't need to buy a new tube. All you have to do is apply your lipstick, put a piece of tissue between your lips to blot off the shininess and then apply a little bit of translucent powder. Oh, and if you want your matte lips to look as "crisp" as possible along your lip lines, apply a teeny bit of concealer with a lip brush around the perimeter of your lips. It will help to bring out the definition of them even more.
6. Add a Little Concealer to Alter the Hue
No matter how many lip shades there are out here, sometimes it can still be hard to find the perfect hue. If you like nude but you can't seem to find a color that perfectly complements your skin tone, something you can do is add a little concealer to a lipstick that you already have. It will make the lipstick lighter and, the best thing is, you can adjust to it the shade that you like based on how much or little concealer you add into the mix. (By the way, most of us sistahs naturally have a darker tone to our lips, so when you're shopping for a nude lipstick in general, make sure it has a peachy undertone to it. That will soften the dark pigment and make the nude shade more even in appearance.)
7. Use Highlighter Mixed with Gloss
Do you have a hot date coming up? If so, something that you can do to make a man think about nothing but kissing you is to add a little highlighter to your lip color, along with lip gloss. While gloss will make your mouth appear wetter, if you put a little highlighter on top, right in the middle, the light that bounces off of it while further define your lips while giving them even more of a sexy pout. (Or, if you hate the feel of lip gloss, apply the highlighter without it; you'll basically end up with the same results.)
8. Get a Humidifier for Your Bedroom
It's common for our bodily tissues and mucus membranes to become dry while we sleep.
Something that can prevent this from happening is using a humidifier at night. It can reduce snoring, soften skin, relieve allergy symptoms, stop airborne viruses in their tracks and yes, moisturize your lips too.
If you don't already own one, check out "10 Best Humidifiers to Buy in 2020, According to Home Care Experts" to figure out which humidifier will work best for you.
9. DIY a Lip Balm for Nighttime Coverage
If you're wondering why you seem to go to bed with moisturized lips but wake up to them being as chapped as you don't know what, it could be because you are licking them all throughout the night, without even knowing it. To combat that, aside from the humidifier that we just talked about, try making a lip balm that can serve as a protective barrier for your lips while you sleep. I already shared that shea butter is my, pardon the pun, lick. Another cool option is to mix a capsule of Vitamin E and a half teaspoon of honey (honey is a powerful humectant). But there are all other kinds of options too. You can get 20 DIY lip balm recipes by clicking here.
10. Drink Some Pomegranate Juice
There are all kinds of great reasons why you should make pomegranate juice a part of your regular healthcare routine. Thanks to the vitamins C, E and K, along with antioxidants, folate and potassium, pomegranate juice is able to reduce bodily inflammation, lower your blood pressure, fight off infections, reduce oxidative stress (which, in turn, can make it easier to get pregnant) and, it can help to lower blood sugar levels too. The reason why I'm closing out with this juice for your lips is because it's also been proven that the Vitamin C, along with the antioxidants flavonoids and proanthocyanidins will not only cleanse and nourish your lips, they can help to even out the color of them too. All you need to do is mix a teaspoon of pomegranate juice with a teaspoon of carrot juice. Apply it to your lips after exfoliating them, let the solution sit for 5-7 minutes and then rinse. If you do this once a day, you should notice visible results within two weeks. It's a delicious way to make your lips super sexy. Pucker up and enjoy!
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In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
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If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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One thing that can help you out in this department is the art of thought blocking (you can read a bit more about that here). Something else that you can do is decide to become what is known as a mindful sleeper. If you’re curious about what that is and what it entails, below, I will strive to explain it in a way that will make it easy for you to implement mindfulness into your sleep routine as soon as…tonight.
What Are the Nine Principles of Mindfulness?
You’ve probably already heard somewhere that mindfulness is all about being in the moment; however, since it’s such a buzzword these days, I thought that it would be a good idea to share what the nine principles of overall mindfulness are, as it specifically relates to sleep, just so that you can grasp a greater insight into how it can help you to rest better.
Mindfulness is about having:
1. A beginner’s mind, which is all about not focusing on any other night but tonight.
2. Non-striving, which is all about not trying to force yourself to fall asleep.
3. Letting go, which is all about releasing labels that make you feel like a failure when it comes to finding sleep as a challenge for you; it’s also about releasing unrealistic expectations as you try to figure out what sleep practices are truly best for you.
4. Non-judgment, which is all about not trying to “grade” your sleep performance.
5. Acknowledging and accepting, whichare all about acknowledging the fact that some nights are easier than others as far as sleep is concerned while accepting that there aren’t always immediate hacks that will work — and that is okay.
6. Trust, which is all about believing that, one way or another, your body will eventually self-regulate.
7. Patience, which is all about knowing that developing an effective sleep routine takes time.
8. Gratitude, which is all about choosing to focus on the good in your life when you can’t sleep instead of the bad (including not being able to sleep).
9. Generosity is all about thinking about the parts of your life that you share with others while also being intentional about sharing what is positive in your world as you allow those around you to do the same (during your waking hours).
If you read these and sense a pattern, I would agree. At the end of the day (pun intended), sleep mindfulness is about letting yourself off of the hook as far as rest and relaxation are concerned. The method to the madness in doing that isstress plays a huge role in sleeplessness.
And so, the more you remain in the moment and also the more that you let go of any tension you may be feeling by implementing these nine principles, the easier it will be to find the quality of sleep that you desire.
Why You Should Practice Sleep Meditation?
GiphyYou know, a wise person once said that you shouldn’t remove one thing without replacing it with something else — not if you don’t want to return to the former thing, anyway. So, as you’re in the process of applying those mindful principles to your sleep routine, something that you may want to add is sleep meditation. Since one of the main points of meditation, overall, is getting you to focus on being in the moment, it would make sense that it would be a part of becoming a mindful sleeper, right?
Although there are different types of meditation that you can do that may help you to rest easier and better (you can read about some of them here), mindful meditation is relatively simple. It’s all about deep breathing and muscle relaxation.
Pretty much all that you need to do is make sure that your room is as dark as possible (minus maybe a scented candle to soothe your senses), get into a comfortable position, think of a place that makes you feel tranquility and harmony, and then take slow and deeper breaths from your nose as you exhale through your mouth — all while focusing on nothing but the present moment. That’s it? Pretty much.
If you’re new to sleep meditation, it’ll be counterproductive to stress yourself out about doing it perfectly, so start off with meditating for five minutes or so.As you become more comfortable, try and get to the point where you’re able to do it for about 15-20 minutes a night. That’s a good window to calm your mind, body, and spirit all the way down before getting into bed. Then, once you are all cozy and comfortable, consider applying the following sleep hacks, so that you can stay asleep once you actually fall asleep.
6 Ways to Be a (More) Mindful Sleeper
GiphyIt can’t be said enough that mindfulness is about staying in the moment. That said, here are six (other) things that can help you to become a more mindful sleeper (which, honestly, is something that we all should strive for).
1. Get off of your devices.
I’ve got a girlfriend who is pretty much a phone addict. Know what else she is? An insomniac. The fact that she refuses to put those two things together never ceases to amaze me because there is plenty of data to support that the light from your phone’s screen can do a real number on the melatonin levels that your body needs in order to rest.
Not only that, but how can you focus on yourself and being still in the moment if you’re reading all of the celeb gossip on various apps? Sis, if you’re really serious about sleep, the devices need to go off (including if you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night). The nonsense will be there when you wake up. Trust me.
2. Participate in body scan meditation.
Another type of meditation that is gaining more traction is something known as body scan meditation. Basically, it’s all about getting calm, still, and quiet enough to see if you feel any specific sensations throughout your body. If you do happen to notice some tension, tightness, or uncomfortableness somewhere, validate that by pondering what could be the cause. It’s a way to help you feel more connected to your body, which actually can help you to relax more. You can read about how to do a body scan meditation properly here.
3. Name five good things about your day. Then give thanks.
Stress and worry are not your friends, especially when it comes to sleep. One way to do them less is to bring gratitude into your sleep space; one way to do that is to verbalize five good things that happened during your day (no matter how big or small) and then express gratitude for them. It’s another way to reduce stress levels in your system. Science backs it.
4. “Bore yourself.”
I have a friend who once said to me that only sociopaths watch movies on their phones. Yeah, whatever, dude. LOL. Although I don’t have a television in my bedroom (by design), sometimes I’m like, “Hell, I might as well” to that, and I will watch a movie on my phone and think absolutely nothing of it. When it comes to being a mindful sleeper, it’s definitely a counterproductive act because you don’t need to do things that will stimulate you; actually, it’s best to do things that will bore you to tears — which is actually where acts like counting sheep can come in handy.
Even if it’s something like lying on your back and listening to a guided meditation YouTube video, be intentional about being bored. In a way, it’s its own form of melatonin, whether you realize it or not.
5. If you happen to wake up, go to another room (for a moment).
I once read an article that said that if you’re unable to sleep after 20 minutes of being in bed, you should go to another room to meditate, sip on some tea, or read a book chapter. The method behind the madness is if you toss and turn in your bed for long periods of time, it can “program” your mind to associate your bedroom with sleeplessness, which could ultimately end up doing more harm than good. Actually, when you stop to think about it, that makes a lot of sense.
6. If you share a bed — cuddle.
It was about this time last year that I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand.” Simply put, if you want to fall asleep, have an orgasm. I’m. Not. Playing. Or shoot, at least do some cuddling with your partner. Between the bonding and feelings of safety that being close to someone else provides due to the oxytocin that is present and how much cuddling can actually relax your senses while creating feelings of positivity, it’s one of the most comfortable — and proven — ways to lull you to sleep.
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A psychologist by the name of Susan Albers once said, “Training your mind to be in the present moment is the number one key to making healthier choices.” As you can see, this doesn’t just apply to when you’re awake — training your mind to be mindful can benefit you, greatly, while you’re asleep too.
Sweet dreams, sis.
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