Sean 'Diddy' Combs is known for many things. He's a mogul, a rapper, super-producer, and influencer. He's a liquor connoisseur, dancer, and an extremely present father. You can call him Puff, P. Diddy, or a multitide of other names that he has accumulated throughout his fame, which he affectionately refers to as eras.
But for now, the man with all the plans, wants you to call him Love.
GiphyHe originally announced the news on social media back in May, and followed it up with a picture of the driver's license that lists 'Love' as his legal middle name. Since, he has been bringing all the vibes, which listen, I am completely here for. Why? Well, Love is all about spreading his namesake to the people, making right what he may have done in the past, and having a genuine allyship in the fight for the culture. So many with the resources needed to secure the future for the culture, never make their stance known for the benefit of its progression. But there comes a time when power is bigger than what any critic of our movement has to say, and now Love has recognized his power, joining the ranks of LeBron James, Jay-Z, Master P, and many others who selflessly give to the vision. And that's a healing flex that we love to see (yes, this pun was intended).
Love recently sat down for an interview and video with Vanity Fair to discuss his latest era. A few of our favorite moments are below:
On Critics Who Don't Believe The Hype
Former Bad Boy artists such as The LOX, Mase, Day26, and others, have publicly criticized Combs for trapping them in what they felt were unfair deals in the past. There's been no secret that his previous deals with artists have had their fair share of critique. But Love isn't interested in going back and forth on how the music business operates.
"I can't get caught up in that. I know where my heart is at, and you can't just do it alone with just Black people. You got to have all types of allies. And that's one thing I'm good at, I'm good at being a unifier, but I'm not going to be in a room with other tribes that protect themselves and make sure that they straight and not make sure that we straight. But also, I'm not a politician, I'm not trying to be the king or the dictator of somebody. I'm a boy from Harlem that came here to make a change. We all have our story."
His New Plans For An R&B Record Label
To his publicist's surprise, the mogul ultimately discloses that he is getting into the R&B game, starting with his own album, referencing that R&B is where he started and that it's not just for himself, but for the culture.
"I'm coming back into music, you know? Yeah, all R&B label, because I feel like R&B was abandoned and it's a part of our African American culture. And I'm not signing any artists. Because if you know better, you do better. I'm doing 50–50 partnerships with pure transparency. That's the thing. [The new label is so that] we can own the genre; we don't own hip-hop right now. We have a chance to—and I'm going to make sure that—we own R&B."
Okayyyy!
On His Continued Activism, Particularly For Black People
Combs has lived a fruitful life and is fortunate enough to able to sit back and not do anything about what plagues our community. But he refuses to do so, as over the span of his career, he's always found time to fight.
"If you living on this earth and you trying to keep on dealing with this shit, that ain't the way we going to live. And people out there that are tired of it. And it's not just a Black and white thing. You know what I'm saying? It's just tired of the way that it doesn't have to be. Like when they said it was over—when they said in the #MeToo, when it was over, it was over."
He reveals that all of his newfound openness is inspired by the movement and that now he's on a five-year plan to see legitimate changes.
"The #MeToo movement, the truth, is that it inspired me. It showed me that you can get maximum change. I feel like that's one of the biggest missions that will actually shift things. But besides that, we—the world—is different. We have the internet, we have the power, we have a culture, I have us on a five-year plan."
A plan that he specifies for Black people. He continues:
"My people taking time to feel like it's all right to love. Take time to huddle up your tribe, take time to communicate and know your power. Take time to heal. You know what I'm saying, [taking care of] yourself without feeling like, oh, you're going to be labeled a racist now because you talk about taking care of yourself."
On The Infamous J.Lo Post
When it comes to J.Lo, Combs makes it clear: don't expect another Diddy-Lopez romance. He and J.Lo are just friends. In a now-deleted post, he posted the star with the caption, "tbt" a month after her break-up with Alex Rodriguez. But since their breakup, Combs, 51, and Lopez, 52, have remained friendly and even reunited in 2018 at Lopez's All I Have Las Vegas residency show wrap party—as well as at a charity event last year, which Lopez attended with then-fiancé Rodriguez.
"It was just a throwback post from a great time in [my] life. It wasn't no trolling involved, that's just my friend. And I don't have nothing to say about her relationship or her life."
Mmmm-hmm.
On Losing Kim Porter
Personal loss is something that Combs has experienced often within the last few years. The mother of three of his six children, Kim Porter, died in 2018. His mentor and friend Andre Harrell died in 2020. He talks openly about how private losses moved him to reconsider his life's work. Combs describes Porter as the love of his life, and always has. He even reveals that his daughters want him to settle down and get out of these streets.
"And so, you know, I had to start to deal with it when I lost Kim. 'Cause I was like, man, you had it. I'm not saying I would do any of it differently. God willing—I would have had more time," he says, then adds, "I look at my life as I got a second chance. I'm on my second mountain."
Watch the Vanity Fair clip below for more:
Click here to read the full Vanity Fair interview.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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