While I was in the midst of an interview about 10 things that life has taught me in review, one thing that I said, off the bat, was balance is so important. And if there’s definitely an instance where this applies, on every level imaginable, it’s when it comes to alcohol consumption.
I’m hoping it goes without saying that it absolutely should be consumed in moderation (the CDC says that two or less a day for men and one or less a day for women should be the goal); at the same time, though, there are some health benefits that come with having a glass of your favorite “spirit”. For instance, did you know that alcohol can help to keep heart disease down? Not only that, but red wine can help to keep your brain cells healthy, vodka soda can help you reach your weight goals, and champagne is filled with antioxidants.
10 Cocktails and Mocktails That Support Vaginal Health
So since alcohol has been proven to “do a body good” on some levels since the weather is warming up, and I know that some of y’all are gonna get your drink on fa ‘sho, I thought I’d share some cocktails (and mocktails) that also contain ingredients that will benefit your va-jay-jay. Because if you’re gonna be turning it up a bit — my two cents would be to make it totally worth your (and her) while, chile.
Summer Drinks for Vaginal Health
1. Vodka Cranberry Cocktail
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Three ingredients that stand out in this recipe that are good for your vagina are cranberry juice, orange juice, and vodka. Cranberries are good for you because they have tannins in them that can help to prevent the bacteria that create UTIs (urinary tract infections) from forming. Orange juice is beneficial because citrus fruit, in general, helps to keep your vagina’s pH balance where it needs to be; plus, it contains antioxidants that help to keep your immune system up which helps to keep yeast infections at bay. And since some studies reveal that vodka is great at reducing stress and stress can also be attributed to vaginal infections — you see why I had to lead with this particular cocktail…right? Just make sure that your juices have as little sugar in them as possible — if you want to get as many health benefits from them as you can, that is.
2. Lavender Blueberry Bees Knees
Before we get into the ingredients of this particular drink, let me just say that I’ve had lavender ice cream and popsicles before, and they both tasted pretty darn good. So, if you’re someone who thinks that this recipe sounds hella weird, my two cents would be to give it a shot (no pun intended) first.
For this cocktail, all of the ingredients are vagina-friendly, from the blueberry gin and lemon juice to the lavender and honey syrups. Like vodka, gin also helps to decrease stress. Blueberries contain antioxidants that help to reduce oxidative stress; this is good to know since that type of stress can do a number on both your sex drive as well as your fertility. We already touched on what citrus fruits can do. Lavender is considered to be a healing agent and muscle relaxant; it also helps to reduce inflammation (if your vagina is experiencing some of that). And honey? Honey has phytoestrogens in it that can strengthen your reproductive health. Honey also contains properties that can help to reduce vaginal dryness.
Get the Lavender Blueberry Bees Knees recipe HERE.3. Watermelon Strawberry Mocktail
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Let’s get into a couple of mocktails, starting with one that has watermelon and strawberries in it. You know, aside from the fact that mocktails are an awesome alternative for the non-drinker, if you’re looking to keep the calories from alcohol out of your diet, that’s another cool reason to consume them.
When it comes to this recipe and how it helps your vagina out, the watermelons, strawberries, and limes (yep, there are only three ingredients here) all do it. Watermelon is a solid source of hydration and antioxidants that can help to keep your vagina healthy and well-moisturized. It’s also another fruit that reduces oxidative stress. Another cool thing about watermelon is it can help to increase blood flow, including to your genitalia — and that could ultimately mean more intensified orgasms (yay!). The high amount of Vitamin C in strawberries can help to prevent vaginal infections, and some studies say that lime juice helps to increase sexual excitement. Cheers!
Get the Watermelon Strawberry Mocktail recipe HERE.4. Avocado Mocktail
You might not have considered an avocado mocktail before; however, just like a lavender popsicle is pretty good, an avocado one (at least, in my opinion) is actually pretty bomb — so, why not give this alcohol-free drink a try? The avocados, kiwi, coconut water, mint, and lime juice will all do your vagina a lot of good, trust me. Avocados are awesome because they contain fats that will work to keep your vaginal walls strong and naturally lubricated. Word on the street is avocados also have properties in them that will help your system produce certain sex hormones.
Kiwi is in the next drink, so I’ll get to that in a sec. Coconut water is a good source of potassium; that’s good to know because potassium is a nutrient that keeps your cells healthy and it also helps to keep vaginal dryness from becoming too much of an issue. Coconut water is also loaded with antioxidants and can help to keep your blood sugar levels down (which could keep yeast infections from returning since yeast thrives on sugar). Mint has antibacterial properties in them that can help to keep your vagina smelling fresh. As life would have it, mint can also help to balance your vagina’s pH. And you already know what lime/citrus is able to do.
Get the Avocado Mocktail recipe HERE.
5. Fresh Kiwi Caipirinha
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If you’ve never heard of Caipirinha, it’s the national drink of Brazil, and it only contains three ingredients: lime, sugar, and cachaça (cachaça is a distilled liquor that is made from pure sugar cane juice). Clearly, since kiwi is brought into the mix here, this recipe is a variation of the traditional alcoholic beverage. And yes, I had to shout out kiwis because they are high in vitamins C and K, and K helps to significantly reduce the risk of contracting an HPV infection. Kiwi is also cool because it has plant compounds that could help to create an estrogen-like effect that could ultimately be beneficial for perimenopausal and menopausal women (since estrogen levels fluctuate and then drop during those seasons of a woman's life).
Get the Fresh Kiwi Caipirinha recipe HERE.
6. Designated Appletini Mocktail
If you really like apples, why not try an apple-based mocktail? This recipe is very simple to follow and has two ingredients that your vagina will be thrilled about: apples and lemon juice. You know about the citrus, so let’s focus on the apples. For starters, apples contain polyphenols that help to increase blood flow down to your vaginal region (and you know what that means, right? More orgasms!). Some studies even reveal that “an apple a day” can literally help to increase the pleasure of sex for young women. So, one of these appletinis? Yeah…get — well, make — you one.
Get the Designated Appletini Mocktail recipe HERE.
7. Pineapple Chili Margarita
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There’s nothing like a fresh margarita on a warm day and one that has pineapples, lime, and tequila in it while making your vagina very happy. Although it should go on record that it’s more of a well-traveled and longstanding myth than anything that pineapples can drastically change the taste or scent of your vagina (check out “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina”), what pineapples can do is fend off vaginal inflammation and keep your vaginal tissues in good shape. Some experts say that it can keep the healthy bacteria that’s inside of your vagina thriving as well. Lime has been covered, and tequila? It can help to reduce pain and inflammation, boost immunity and improve iron levels; that last one is a winner if you’re someone who has the kind of period that damn near takes you out (because the stronger your iron levels are, the easier your cycle will be on the fatigue tip)!
Get the Pineapple Chili Margarita recipe HERE.
8. Dark Chocolate Malted Martinis
If you want to treat yourself to an alcoholic drink that is truly decadent, this is the one. As far as your vagina goes, dark chocolate, vodka, and vanilla extract are the winners here. Dark chocolate is not only full of antioxidants, it also increases blood flow throughout your body and can help to prevent UV damage to your skin if you’ve got some vacation sex on the docket in the upcoming weeks or months. By the way, since dark chocolate can help to stimulate the production of “feel good” hormones like dopamine and serotonin, if you’ve heard that dark chocolate is an aphrodisiac, in many ways, that would be true. When it comes to vodka, something else that it can do is help to boost your sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) and, believe it or not, vanilla extract is full of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory agents. Yeah, your va-jay-jay definitely needs all-a-dat.
Get the Dark Chocolate Malted Martinis recipe HERE.
9. Citrus and Honey Mocktail
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Something that we already touched on earlier was citrus and honey, so when I saw a cocktail that combined them both, it definitely had to go on here. Since this recipe also contains fresh sage, let me drop two more things about citrus and honey and then that. Citrus is also good for your vagina because it contains fiber that helps to eliminate waste along with collagen that helps to keep your vagina looking (and feeling) youthful (check out “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth” and “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.”). Honey is also good for your vagina because the flavonoids and polyphenols in them can play a role in preventing vaginal atrophy. Some people rely on the properties of sage to help to kill the candida that causes yeast infections; plus, it can help to bring relief to perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms. Oh, I also saw agave syrup in the recipe; it can help your vagina out because it’s a good source of various vitamins and minerals.
Get the Citrus and Honey Mocktail recipe HERE.
10. Joaquín Simó's Pearls Before Swine (A Yogurt Cocktail)
Never heard of a yogurt cocktail before? Yep, they do indeed exist. I’m gonna close this out with this one because I thought the name was cool (Matthew 7:6). That said, gin, lemon juice, and Greek yogurt (which is yogurt that has the whey removed from it) are the vagina-friendly ingredients for this drink. You know about the first two, so let’s discuss the yogurt part. The probiotics and Vitamin B12 that’s in Greek yogurt make this such a wonderful drink for your vagina.
Probiotics help to keep “good bacteria” from being overtaken by the bad kind that’s in your vagina; more good means less risk for a yeast infection. Vitamin B12 helps to put you in a good mood, gives you more energy, and keeps your vaginal/cervical mucus in good condition (which is really good to know if you’re currently in the process of trying to conceive). So, if you’ve got a get-together with your girlfriends coming up, introduce them to a yogurt cocktail. It just might become their — and their vaginas’ — new favorite thing. Enjoy!
Get the Joaquín Simó's Pearls Before Swine recipe HERE.
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Contentment. By definition, it’s the state of not only being “satisfied with what one is or has” but also “not wanting more or anything else.” And you know what? Although it might not be a popular aspiration of many, it is a sign of spiritual maturity on certain levels. After all, it is the Apostle Paul who once said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:19 — NKJV).
Being content is about not complaining. Being content is about learning to be comfortable in your present circumstances. Being content is about choosing to find joy and fulfillment, on some level, and in some way, on a daily basis.
Personally, I dig all of this so much because when you have mastered true inner contentment, it creates stability, self-awareness, and a type of resilience that makes you…shoot, powerful beyond measure, if you ask me. Because when someone knows how to “find the good” and “make peace,” regardless of what is going on around them, they truly are unstoppable. Yeah, on so many levels, contentment is the ultimate life hack. It’s something that each and every one of us should aspire to become: completely and genuinely content.
Thanksgiving is basically moments away at this point. In preparation for that time of self-reflection, pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some soft music, sit on your coach, and then ask yourself, “Am I content?” If you’re not sure (or you need the definition unpacked for you just a bit more), here are seven signs that you may not be…and yet, there is no time like the present to do something about it.
1. You’re Super Impatient
GiphyHonestly, putting another Scripture right here could be all that is needed in order to bring this point to a swift and abrupt end. Which one? I Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, starts off with “Love is patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). Yeah, if you want to know if you love yourself and love yourself well, how patient are you…including with yourself? Throughout the years, I have shared one of my favorite definitions of "patient" in several different articles: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” For me, it’s a blaring reminder that mastering patience isn’t just about waiting (more on that in a sec); it’s about waiting with grace.
Content people can do this because, on some level, they know how to apply the John Piper quote, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Another way of looking at this is people who can wait well — without complaining or getting annoyed by delays or challenges in the meantime — get that in order for things to truly come together, there are lots of moving parts…some that they don’t even know about. And so, if they want the best outcome, yes, waiting well is oftentimes not just involved; it is required.
Impatient people don’t get any of this. That’s why they are so stressed out all of the time.
2. You’re Worried About Things You Can’t Control
GiphyThis. Past. Election. Chile. And then the cabinet that that man is putting together as we speak? I don’t even want to get my blood pressure up, expounding on it. Let me just pivot by adding one more Scripture — because it is beyond fitting: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Although worrying is something that pretty much everyone does at one point or another, one of my favorite quotes on it is by an American humorist by the name of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” And really, when you stop to really think about worrying, isn’t that the truth? For one thing, all worrying does, by definition, is cause you to torment yourself by focusing on things that aren’t even going to happen (somewhere between 85-90 percent of the time, in fact; there is actually a science on that) or trying to control things that are beyond your control.
If being a worry wart is your internal struggle, my advice would be to look at life this way: If you’re worried that you’re about to get written up for getting to work late again, leave your house earlier — you can control that. On the other hand, if you’re worried that you’re going to get laid off before the holiday season ends, so long as you’ve been doing your best (which is also something that you can control), please put your energy elsewhere because that is something that you can’t control.
And I promise that when you choose to be calm and confident over worrying yourself to death, that can help you to manage what you can’t control so much easier. Oh, and your health will thank you, too, because worry is attached to things like insomnia, muscle tension, headaches, overeating, and drinking too much. All this over things that probably won’t happen in the first place? Yeah, sis…(choose to) relax.
And by choosing to chill out, there is some contentment that follows because you will see the good as much as, if not more than, the potential bad. Trust me.
3. The Past and/or Future Consume You
GiphyOn the heels of the Scripture that I just provided for the previous point, it also applies to this one. You know, back when I was doing some intentional research on forgiveness, I always appreciated the insight of author Gary Zukav: “Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot change.” While this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hold people accountable for what they have done, it does help you to be compassionate with those who are truly sorry (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amend Isn't Made”) because, no matter what has transpired between you and them, one thing they can’t do is go back into a time machine and change it.
And you know what? When it comes to the mistakes — or, let’s be real, sometimes they are conscious poor decisions — you have made, you can’t either. So, why let their misdeeds or your own consume you to the point of internally destroying you?
Then there’s the future. What if you get robbed? What if your mom gets cancer? What if your husband files for divorce? Girl, if you are caught up in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, you are definitely gonna drive yourself up the wall! And this is why so many mental health experts and platforms are all about encouraging individuals to live in the moment. You can do this by meditating, taking breaks from social media (and the news), journaling, doing things that you enjoy (instead of waiting to put them off), and resting.
Listen, one of the best things about choosing to only focus on the here and now is you can find little things about it to be content with — and that helps you to be/become more content overall.
4. You Always Think About Wanting More
GiphyAlthough it certainly wasn’t my plan for this piece to be so Scripture-heavy, I’ve got to flow with what immediately comes to mind and, for this point, the verse, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) is it. And just what does it mean to be greedy? A greedy individual isn’t just low-key obsessed with getting and having more — please catch it — they are also quite EAGER.
Eager folks also tend to be impatient. Eager folks are perceived by others as being very intense (and not in a good way). More times than not, eager folks haven’t really mastered how to take a moment to appreciate what they do have because all they care about is what’s next. And when you’re in a state of that kind of, well, anxiety…how could it not affect your quality of life? I mean, really.
And what if you read all of that and said, “I’m not greedy; I’m just ambitious” — listen, there is nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to obtain them. However, an ambitious individual knows how to find balance. If they get a promotion, they will schedule a vacation to celebrate it. If they just got a new car, they are not in a rush to get a new house until they can financially afford it. If they were just proposed to with a really nice ring, they aren’t hounding their new fiancé about setting a date within the next two weeks.
People who always want more, without taking the time to enjoy what they already have, are never going to be content. Why? Because there is always something else that you can want…even if you don’t need it or it really isn’t the time for it. Meanwhile, content people get that it’s a good thing to not go after everything all of the time; that it’s far wiser to embrace what is already before them — because some folks don’t even have…that.
5. You Compare Yourself to Others
GiphySomething that I actually get asked fairly often is, do I feel “some type of way” that I do so much work in the realm of marriage when I’ve never been married myself. The short answer is “absolutely not” because I know that I could’ve been married, a few times over, at this point; however, I am just as intentional about not wanting to be divorced as I am about being in a healthy marriage, not just “a marriage.”
I’m grateful to be in that head and heart space too; otherwise, I would be out here comparing myself to other people — and there is nothing good, healthy, wise, profitable, or beneficial about doing that. In fact, science isn’t a fan of playing the “keeping up with the Joneses” game, either.
According to science, that can ultimately do things like lower your self-esteem, cause you to only see the bad/negative things in your world (in comparison to other people), and it can jack up your perception of what’s really going on with other people. For instance, if you’re 33 and comparing yourself to your friends who are already married and parents, you might want to talk to them about what their day-to-day, beyond their IG posts, is like.
Because while prayerfully, their life is filled with many blessings, if they are being totally honest with you, they will also share that you’ve got some “pros” to your life too (honey, there are some real benefits to being single; check out “If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions.,” “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'”). Content people get that every season does — because it’s true.
6. You Don’t Verbalize Gratitude Often
GiphyThere is someone in my world who I actually try to avoid as much as possible. It’s not that she’s not smart, and honestly, she’s one of the funniest individuals that I’ve ever known (and I’ve known her for most of my adult life). It’s just that…she is always wanting something, and I find that to make her a very draining individual. Lawd, even as I am typing all of this out, I’m trying to recall a time when I’ve heard her say, “thank you” for something (no joke), let alone express any form of genuine gratitude. She’s just got such a sense of entitlement that whatever she does receive, she thinks she’s owed and what she doesn’t have, she believes that something is wrong if it hasn’t arrived yet. Geeze, what a horrible type of existence.
You don’t have to take my word for it either because there is plenty of data out here to support that people who don’t take the time to be grateful for what they have ended up being unhappy, more stressed out, in more physical pain (yes, literally) and definitely more negative than everyone else — which would explain why people don’t like hanging out with them as much.
So, since this is the time when gratitude is the theme of the season, think about what you are grateful for when it comes to what you’ve accomplished this year, then write it down and post it up somewhere. Then, as far as the individuals, for whom you are grateful for — send them a handwritten note, get them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop, or even just call to tell them.
One of the most beautiful things about being in a state of contentment is it reminds you of a lot of what you already have. It really is enough…for now…in this very moment.
7. Being (and Living) Satisfied Is a Foreign Concept to You
Giphy“Tubi movies” really is a complete sentence. LOL. And yes, sometimes, when I’m taking a writing break, I will check out some of the most…I-wouldn’t-normally ones, just to lend my support. In walks Never Satisfied with its own self-explanatory meaning. Y’all, it really is oh so true that there are folks out here dealing with some unpredictable and sometimes even truly dire consequences — and it’s all because they didn’t know how to sit down somewhere and learn how to be satisfied with the people, places, things, and ideas that they already have.
That said, I am indeed a quotes gal, and one of my favorites on the topic of satisfaction is by actor Christopher Reeve: “Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take,” and although I don’t do what I’m about to do often (because I try to take Matthew 6:1-4 very literally and seriously), I’m going to illustrate what he said about satisfaction by sharing a recent situation.
This past week, a nurse practitioner (I prefer those to doctors) diagnosed me with wrist tendonitis for the first time in my life. If you knew how many keystrokes that I do a day, you’d probably be shocked that it took this long. Anyway, as I was waiting in line to get a prescription, a young Black man was basically freaking out because his insurance was refusing to cover his own meds. According to what he was telling the pharmacist, he always only pays $5; however, this time, they were charging $62, he simply didn’t have it, and the insurance company was not picking up.
As I watched him shaking and sweating while saying that he really needed it today and fretting while talking to his mom on the phone, I offered to cover it — and after going back and forth with him for about three minutes, I did. In my mind, although I didn’t plan on spending about $85 (total) that day, the little inconvenience that it was costing me was nothing in comparison to how much it was going to benefit him — I could tell from how he and his mother reacted (even the pharmacist mouthed “thank you so much”), and that is what made it money well spent.
To help someone who had no way of helping themselves in the moment? That brought me a lot of satisfaction because it’s nice to lighten someone’s load while leaving it to karma to handle it. ALL OF IT.
And that’s why I thought it was best to wrap all of this up with a reminder that being satisfied is being content. And when you can be so satisfied with your life that you want to help others? That is a level of contentment that is truly unmatched because you start looking for ways to bless others simply so that they can feel just as content as you do.
____
Our culture? It really is never satisfied, which explains why a lot of people are so miserable. SMDH. You don’t have to be like the masses, though. This Thanksgiving, please purpose in your mind (and heart) to be(come) more content. It will make you a rare gem that benefits everyone and everything around you.
Including yourself, sis. No doubt about it.
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Originally published on November 28, 2024