The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood.
We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
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In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
Courtesy
If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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As many “church kids” can attest, the altar doubled as a stage for nurturing natural talent, and Angel’s experience was no different. "Growing up in the church, they’re going make you sing in the choir — so singing was a part of my life, probably even before acting became a part of my life." Angel's role as the youngest of four also played well with bringing out her comedic sensibilities. "It kind of became my role, an unspoken role, to bring levity to my family. I was always the comedic little sister that lightened up the mood," she says.
Angel’s trajectory into the industry may not have been the one she imagined, but is far from unexpected.
Credit: Ted Sun
Her formal training in acting, including earning an MFA from the University of California, Irvine, led her to explore musical theater and eventually stand-up comedy. This instinct for humor created a non-linear yet harmonious path, landing her in roles on hit TV shows like Black-ish and A Black Lady Sketch Show, preparing her for what would come next.
Last summer, her spontaneous freestyle launched Angel into her second act: a hit-making rapper. What started with a TikTok video of a preacher warning Louisiana State University students of the supposed dangers of women in Mexican restaurants, soon turned into an instant summertime anthem.
She debuted a freestyle on her podcast Here's the Thing, co-hosted with Kevin Fredericks (KevOnStage), asking Fredericks for a beat, and began freestyling what is now “One Margarita.”
While she admits that she usually “can’t land the plane” doing freestyles, this time it stuck. Producers Casa Di and Steve Steven Terrell blessed the track with a beat that took flight, transforming a cautionary sermon into a chart-topping hit.
Moore has since gone from interviewing celebrities on the NAACP's red carpet to becoming a recipient of the NAACP’s 2023 Outstanding Social Media Personality award, what she notes as a “full circle moment.”
At times, life can feel like one long dress rehearsal, but That Chick Angel is proof that when it's your time to take the stage, no one can stop your shine.
xoNecole: You’ve shared that a lot of the inspiration behind your songs is to just have fun. Has that always been your motivation as an artist/entertainer? Or have you ever dealt with any perfectionism that can stall the flow of fun?
That Chick Angel: “In the very beginning of my content creation career, I was trying to do this ‘perfectionist’ type of thing, and I quickly stopped because nothing was getting done. I was waiting for perfect, but perfect wasn’t showing up. Eventually, I got to a place of, ‘Girl, we’re not going to worry about perfect, we’re going to worry about done,’ and I was able to focus on my true purpose: bringing joy into the room.
“That's where you get the ‘funness’ behind the songs and content I create online or even in my podcast. Not to say that we can’t have deep moments — I will never try to belittle my intelligence or my experiences for a joke, but I also want to speak the truth about situations as well.”
You’ve been creating content since 2009. In what ways has the power of social media played a role in your success?
“I started making content when I got pregnant with my first baby, and it was just a creative outlet. This is my 15th anniversary of [creating] content, so I am blessed to be one of the OGs that started before we knew what the heck was going on.
“At the time, I was very adamant about keeping my professional acting life separate from my content life because I didn't know the value of my content. I remember telling my friends when I would be recording stuff, ‘I don't know why I'm doing this, but I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this.’ I continued to make content, not knowing what it would all amount to. What it has amounted to, career-wise, is that I’ve gotten to establish my brand and say who I am before someone else even had the opportunity to fix their lips to tell me who I am in the space.”
"I continued to make content, not knowing what it would all amount to. What it has amounted to, career-wise, is that I’ve gotten to establish my brand and say who I am before someone else even had the opportunity to fix their lips to tell me who I am in the space."
Credit: Ted Sun
You're a wife and mother of four boys — how do you find balance between the demands of motherhood with your entertainment career?
“I'm a card-carrying member of the Beyhive and I remember seeing the clips of when Blue Ivy started performing with Beyoncé. I'm not an emotional person, but I remember tears welled up seeing Blue Ivy on stage with Beyoncé. It wasn't so much about Blue Ivy in that moment, it was seeing Beyoncé be a consummate performer and a mother at the same moment, at 100 percent. That’s what I long to be: to not have to shrink what God has purposed in me and all the gifts He's given me while being a mother. And not have to shrink being a mother to be all the things God wants me to be.
“Are there times when one has to take precedence? Absolutely. But I feel like I have created a life where I get to do both things: be a family woman and be a businesswoman and not having to sacrifice one for the other.”
One of the things I appreciate about "One Margarita" is how it playfully embraces sexual freedom. How have your personal experiences, including growing up in the church, shaped your views on sexual freedom as the woman you are today?
“It creates safety for a woman to be able to clearly and unashamedly say what she wants. When we have conversations around consent, it’s two people saying, ‘This is what I like, would you like to do this with me?’ And the other person saying, ‘I would like to do this.’ Until we make women know that it is okay for them to verbalize what they want, we're constantly putting them in unsafe places if they don't feel like they can say yes or no.”
"That’s what I long to be: to not have to shrink what God has purposed in me and all the gifts He's given me while being a mother. And not have to shrink being a mother to be all the things God wants me to be."
Credit: Ted Sun
Your latest single, "I Just Wanna Shake My," captures your fun and audacious spirit, and with your EP coming this fall, what can new and existing fans expect from your debut EP?
“They can expect me to walk through whatever door God opens. In 2023, I didn’t know I would have a trap song that has over 20 million streams, but I'm sure the Lord did. My ultimate goal is to release this EP, create a one-woman show around the songs, and tour it in 2025 so I can bring out more of my comedic elements and acting. Whatever doors are going to open, Angel is going to run through and say, ‘God what do you want me to do with it?’"
For more of That Chick Angel, follow her on Instagram @thatchickangel.
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Featured image by Ted Sun