Fashion photographer and original gangster Bill Cunningham once said:
"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life."
Your style speaks for you before you ever introduce yourself.
As girl bosses, it is our job to make sure that our style staples exude confidence, strength, and distinction. Though women are intrinsically stylish and we find a way to make things our own, women of the melanated persuasion kick it up a notch with all types of sass and class.
No matter your style, every woman needs full-proof pieces that will withstand time and the evolution of trends. While you may think your 20-somethings won't end, they will. And you need to be ready!
We found one of our favorite humans dripping in all of the perennial pieces a girl needs in her wardrobe. Lifestyle blogger, Kyrzayda Rodriguez, has a true passion for passion. She provides us beautiful content through on blog, Kyrzayda.com weekly. Her story is beyond inspiring and her transparency is humanizing. Above all, this woman promotes self-love and enjoying the skin you're in. Dressing the part is a testament to that.
Check out the indefinite classic items you need in your closet by the time you turn 30 by clicking through the gallery below:
1.Elegant blazer
Blazers are a quick way to make any look stylish. This velvet number is quite alluring.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.2.Ballet flats
You can dress ballet flats up or down. Most importantly, they are essential for a career look.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.3.Classic pumps
No matter the color or style, pumps will always be a pillar of a woman's wardrobe. The versatility is unmeasurable as you can rock them with everything.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.4.Authentic leather handbag
Leather material is everlasting and a leather bag can instantly add a grown woman vibe to your outfit.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.5.Tailored suit
Our girl, Kyrzayda, bossed up with her version of the tailored suit. But you can get a nice suit from T.J. Maxx or Express and take it to your local seamstress to make it just right for you.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.6.Diamond earrings
If you want a clean look, invest in diamond earrings.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.7.A white blouse
A nice blouse can go a long way. Pair it with a pencil skirt or high-waisted pants and you are good to go.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.8.The trench coat
The weather can play a major role in your style. When the weather is cooler, be sure to have a long trench coat in your closet.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.9.Little black dress
There's nothing sexier than a woman in a little black dress. You can never go wrong wearing an LBD on a date or for a night on the town with the girls.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.10. A nice watch
Accessories can make or break an outfit. With a nice watch, you are sure to look and feel like the boss you are.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.11. A white tee
There is nothing more classic than a white tee. Dem Franchise Boyz even made a super popping song about it. Style it up with some flashy boots or kill it with some sneakers.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.12. Denim jacket
I love a good denim jacket because it is multi-purpose and you can find really vintage jackets at the thrift store.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.13. Moto jacket
Motorcycle jackets give you an edgy appeal like no other jacket. Throw it over your shoulders and you will look as chic as any fashion blogger.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.14. Classic white button down
You especially need a classic white button up before you turn 30 because it is the pinnacle of fashion. They are perfect for interviews making for a polished look.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.15. Striped shirt
Having a striped shirt in your drawer means that you are ready for whatever. The pattern ordains a clean but fun vibe.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.16. Statement jacket
What better way to make a statement than with a fly ass coat?
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.17. The perfect pair of jeans
The good thing about perfect fitting jeans is that you can find them in different styles. Opt for a pair of bell-bottom jeans like Kyrzayda or get super comfy with a pair of boyfriend jeans. With places like Old Navy and Fashion Nova at your fingertips, there's no excuse not to have this staple.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.18. Black pants
Black will never go out of style. Black pants will also never let you down. They are an essential career staple and they are a great addition to an all-black outfit.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.19. Booties
You have to love a good pair of booties. The intentionality of booties transcends different styles.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.20. Lace bra
Lace bra = grown as f*ck. When you see a woman in a lace bra, you know she has her ish together.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.21. Midi skirts
Midi skirts give just the right amount of pizazz in any setting.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.22. White sneakers
Virtually the most casual yet classic staple, white sneakers are immortal for what they do for your wardrobe.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.23. Everyday tote
If you are a woman on the go, you most definitely need a tote that can hold your work and beauty goodies.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.24. Cat eye sunglasses
We all love donning sunglasses for those late night runs to Target. They are so necessary to have for any function serving as a faultless accessory.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.25. Wide brim hat
For those bad hair days, you need a wide brim hat on ready.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.26. Single-strap stiletto sandal
This has to be one of my favorite staples because I wear them with almost every look. Single strappies provide a simple yet elemental appearance.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.27. Duster coats
Duster coats will have you queening the streets of your city. They are perfect for the fall months.
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No need to steal your mom's silk scarf - get your own!
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.29. The perfect bathing suit
Shopping for the perfect bathing suit can be a nightmare but once you find "the one," you are made.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.30. Power dress
In any case of your job or career, as a woman, you need a power dress to show everyone that you mean business without sacrificing your personality.
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.What are some staples you think every woman should own?
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A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
Anyway, all of the talk about vampires — you know, due to the film — did cause me to wonder something that might seem rather random, yet that’s oftentimes how my mind works: Do vampires give each other hickeys? As I Googled for an answer, besides a book that has a title close to that name, I did notice an ABC feature from when the vampire Twilight film series was all the rage several years back. It was inquiring if teens were suddenly biting each other (back then) because of the movie(s).
The sexologist who was interviewed came to the conclusion that since biting is “an extension of the hickey” and hickeys are (typically) considered to be passionate, that’s why teens were interested in doing it. As far as what vampires do with each other? I couldn’t find a definitive answer.
I dunno. With hickeys also being called “love bites” and “suck marks” and with folks oftentimes describing vampire-themed movies as sexy, I would think that they could. Either way, what we know for sure is that those of us in the real world do it — and so, in honor/acknowledgement of that, I figured that now would be a perfect time to share some facts about hickeys. Ready?
1. Humans Are Copying Animals When They Give Hickeys
Aight, so what exactly is the origin story of hickeys? It would seem that it came from the literature of authors who wrote about what animals like lions and wolves do whenever they are showing affection towards one another. Apparently, humans saw this and eventually began to follow suit.
Hey, that doesn’t sound so crazy to me, considering doggy style continues to be a fan favorite among our species, and…have you ever seen two cats have sex before? I have, more than once, and the male cat is typically biting on the female one, in her neck region, during the act. So, when I really stop to think about all of this, it definitely tracks.
2. Hickeys Are Oftentimes a Low-Key Power Play
Ah, perfect. If you click here, you will actually see a picture of two cats having sex, and — like I just said, the male cat is biting the female cat. One reason why is because male cat penises have barbs on them which can make the entry or exit of intercourse literally painful for the female. And so, the male cat holds her in place by biting her, so that she doesn’t run away. And yes, along these same lines, some believe that hickeys can serve as their own power dynamic shift, even among humans — especially based on where a person decides to put one. I guess it would be like “peeing on your territory” in a way — hmph, which is something else that animals tend to do.
anon GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphy3. Hickeys Are Nothing More than a Bruise
Okay, so what actually causes a hickey to happen? Well, when someone sucks and gently bites on your skin, it can break some of the surface blood vessels that are underneath your skin to break. When that happens, it results in a bruise. If someone does this to you for about a half a minute, you should notice a hickey emerge in a matter of minutes and, depending on how “good” of a job they did, a hickey can stick around for as much as a couple of weeks.
4. “Temperature Play” Speeds Up the Healing Process of Hickeys
Again, depending on how “good” of a job someone did at giving you a hickey, it could last between two days and two weeks. If you want yours to fade faster, because, again, hickeys are a bruise, it’s a good idea to bring some temperature play into action. What I mean by that is, start off by putting an ice pack on your hickey for up to 10 minutes, twice a day, for the first two days.
Then, after 48 hours, apply a warm compress for 10 minutes a few times a day. You might also want to apply a bit of peppermint oil to your hickey and gently massage that area as well; that will help to bring more blood flow to the spot, so that your skin can heal faster.
5. If You Take Blood Thinners, Hickeys Will Last Longer
If you’re someone who takes blood thinners, that will keep hickeys aren’t for a longer period of time. That’s because blood thinners are specifically designed to slow down the blood clotting process that’s in your body. So, if you’re big on hickeys and you even take aspirin on a fairly regular basis, you’re gonna have to accept that the “hickey healing hacks” may not actually work for you (at least not as quickly or effectively).
6. Certain “Natural Things” Can Make Them Last Longer Too
Speaking of blood thinners, even if you aren’t on any meds, did you know that certain foods provide blood-thinning effects as well? Some of those include ginger, garlic, aloe, turmeric, and cayenne pepper, and even supplements including vitamin E and melatonin. Just something to keep in mind. (By the way, vitamin C and the bromelain in pineapples can help to heal hickeys as far as supplements and foods go).
7. No, Hickeys Will Not Give You Cancer
It actually wasn’t until I was doing research for this article that I even heard the myth that hickeys can give you cancer. What in the world? Yeah, if you heard that somewhere before, pay that tale no mind, because science absolutely says otherwise. For the most part, hickeys are relatively harmless.
8. They Can Give You an Infection, Though
And why did I just say, “for the most part”? Yeah, you caught that, huh? Well, there is an extreme instance where a woman had a stroke due to a hickey because it happened on top of a major artery — that’s hella rare, though. What is more common is oral herpes transmitted through hickeys.
Not to mention the fact that a hickey is usually a bruise more than a wound; however, if your skin does end up being broken or you’re giving a hickey and blood is somehow transmitted…well, I’m sure you could see how this could be potentially problematic. Bottom line, get — and stay getting — tested. Just to be on the safe side. Hickeys or not.
9. A Dream About Getting a Hickey Is Actually a Warning
Remember how I said earlier that sometimes the person who is giving the hickey is doing so as an act of power? Well, along those same lines, if you happen to dream that someone is giving you a love bite, keep in mind that it probably isn’t about anything sexual; usually, it means that you are either in a toxic or stressful situation and you’re trying to figure out if you should approach it with logic or emotion. The more you know.
10. Sometimes Pain Creates Pleasure
Someone who enjoys being tortured or humiliated during sex, they fall into a category that is known as sexual masochism — and no, that is not what I am referring to here. What I am speaking about is the fact that, because pain and pleasure sensations are housed in the same part of the brain, when mild pain is felt, that could be why it arouses you — and that could be why you may enjoy receiving hickeys (I mean, if you actually do). They both have been proven to create a dopamine and opioid surge, which can intensify your sexual responses and reactions.
____
Hickeys do tend to create a very polarizing response: folks either adore them or loathe them. Either way, now you know what they’re all about, so if you’re on the “A” team, share it with those who are also in your club.
It could make them appreciate hickeys — love bites, suck marks — that much more, chile.
Dig in. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy