Something went terribly wrong when I hit 31! Work was great, my love life was intact, and my relationships with friends and family had never been better, but my skin was an entirely different story.
In the past, I was labeled by my girls as "the friend with great skin". I could pick and choose the days I wore make-up; foundation and concealer were optional for me and hardly ever worn. My skin glowed on command and was flawless. That is, until a few days before my 31st birthday.
Writer Ianthia Smith
Pimples of epic proportions popped up on my cheeks and on both sides of my forehead, just above the brows. When one blemish disappeared, another appeared almost instantly in its place. The bumps were painful, swollen, and tore my skin leaving massive breakage and tears. "Healing" actually turned to hyperpigmentation and I found myself wearing makeup everywhere, even in the gym (only to watch it drip onto the floor mat as I did my fifth set of squats).
The worst part was, I couldn't figure out why all of this was happening now. I've had pimples before, but the size and frequency at which these appeared was alarming, I just knew something was wrong.
My "glow up" had dimmed and I didn't know what to do.
I tried everything, including but not limited to changing my diet, working out more, drinking more water, changing my makeup brushes, updating my skincare regimen…nothing worked! I finally visited my doctor who suspected I had a hormonal imbalance and put me on birth control and Retin-A. She also suggested that I try a chemical peel.
This sounded painful, but I was desperate to get back to the skin I knew and love. I quickly booked a consultation with the recommended dermatologist who confirmed that hormones were to blame for my skin problems and that a chemical peel would help to rid my face of dead, broken, and dull skin. She explained that the process uses a mixture of different acids that are applied to the face, given time to dry, and ultimately shed a thin layer of the skin to reveal a new glow.
About a week later, I went in for my chemical peel application. When I arrived at the doctor's office, I had to fill out a consent form and then, it was peel time! And if you ever consider this option as a solution to your dermatology-related woes, here's what you should expect:
Before My Chemical Peel Appointment
Before the application, I used a moist cloth to remove all products, sweat, and oil that was on my skin. The doctor then came in and used a cotton ball to apply the small cup of brown liquid to my skin. After about four passes, all the liquid was gone and it was time to wait and peel.
The Chemical Peel Procedure
Day One
The day of the peel, my skin had a noticeably orange color, of course because the product was still on. There was no tightness, no pain. I experienced a slight stinging sensation from sun exposure, but that's normal and once I blasted the air conditioning in the car, it became less bothersome.
I was given a post-peel kit, which included some anti-itch cream, sunscreen, and moist towelettes that acted as mini-peels that I had to apply for the next two or three days.
The Next Few Days
By the second day, my skin was still pretty normal looking. In fact, I even wore makeup on this day and no evidence of peeling was noticeable. My skin still felt fine and looked pretty normal as the orange-like glow started to fade.
Day three was when the fun began. I was almost excited to see my old, bruised, and damaged skin start to peel away. It started around the mouth area, as predicted. Since we're constantly talking and chewing, the peel usually starts here first. What began as a small spot of peeling earlier that morning had spread around my entire mouth and instantly I could see the amazing difference between my old skin and the new glow peeking through. It was like magic!
Day Three
Day four was pretty intense as the peel was in full effect! I could now see other parts of my skin start to tighten as it prepared to peel. Peeling around my mouth had now increased to my cheeks and forehead! With each passing hour, the old skin was turning a darker color and was slowly starting to lift away. So far during the process, there had been no pain, minimum itching, and hardly any discomfort…except for when I looked in the mirror, of course.
Here is where you'd want to load up on your favorite Netflix shows and snacks and stay indoors.
Day Four
By day five, my entire face was peeling, and I could now see the skin that had troubled me for so long falling away to reveal a new, softer, more supple face. It was indeed a scary sight to behold, but I could already see the results and it was so worth it. I could see a new me, ready to shine through. Aesthetically speaking, days five and six were pretty much all the same as the peeling continued.
In A Week
Seven days later, my new skin had arrived! The peeling was completely done and my face had never been softer and smoother. The dry patchy skin was gone, scabs and scars left behind from tearing had disappeared, my uneven tone had balanced out. Finally, my hyperpigmentation was lightening and my glow up was back on the come up.
The day before my chemical peel appointment, I had somehow convinced myself to cancel, but at the very last minute I changed my mind and I'm so happy I did.
Day Seven
Not only did the chemical peel have immediate benefits for my skin, but even more than two months later, I can still feel its effects.
I haven't seen one of those dreaded pimples in months (knocks on wood), my dark marks are still lightening, and my foundation now glides on my skin like butter. The downtime wasn't that bad either, I personally only needed seven days, and I was only stuck in my house for three of them.
Here's What I Think About Chemical Peels
Writer Ianthia Smith One Month Post-Peel
The words 'chemical peel' does sound scary next to each other, but for me it was a much needed addition to my tired skincare routine and I've now added it to my annual calendar. For anyone experiencing stubborn acne issues that just won't go away, I would really recommend speaking to your doctor about this procedure. It might change your life, just like it did mine.
Our faces go through so much drama on a daily basis, and just like everything else in our life we sometimes need to shed a layer or two to get back to our glory days.
Ianthia Two Months Post-Peel
Click here to watch my full journey or watch my experience by clicking the video down below:
Originally published September 11, 2018
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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