If you were blessed to have melanin skin, be sure to thank baby Jesus. However, while we were born to glow, we still have to maintain it. Let's be honest - finding a well-balanced skincare routine without messing up our unique skin can be stressful. That's why we are grateful for people who know their skin and who know how to share the wealth. People like, Siraad Dirshe.
Siraad has made it her business to help black women, no matter their age, feel like their most beautiful selves. And not just on the outside but the inside too, because that's what helps us empower ourselves to live our lives unapologetically. Siraad's resume includes heavyhitters like Clinique, Nike, Vogue and most recently, Beauty Editor at ESSENCE. Needless to say, the saying "Trust Black Women" was high-key referring to Siraad.
She told the J Spot Collective, "I never thought I was 'good' at makeup, so I was pretty much afraid of it. I also think since beauty brands have historically not created products with us in mind, I never really found colors and tones that complimented my deeper skin tone. So I think skin care just seemed more accessible and easy to understand/use."
xoNecole has been intrigued with Siraad and her magic so it was only right that we talk with her about all things beauty, self-care and the virtue of black women.
You have been deemed "The Glow Expert," how did you come to snag this title?
SD: That's funny! I think it's something I just kind of claimed for myself because I thought it was catchy. A few years ago, it seemed like everyone was after having glowy and bright skin. I also had a lot of friends at the time who had asked about my skin care routine and how I would get to be so glowy. So I thought what better name to call myself (laughs).
What's your secret to glowing skin?
SD: I know this is super cliche but I really think 60% is not the masks, serums, or moisturizers. Of course, they're great but I really think it's things like sleep, water, and what you eat that truly make your skin glow and have the radiance that everyone wants. I make sure to get (at least) 8 hours of sleep, drink a gallon of water a day, and try to avoid things like dairy. I feel like once I started doing those things, my skin started to really change for the better.
What advice do you have for women struggling to maintain great skin?
SD: I would say that there's no such thing as great skin, there's only better skin. I think beauty companies can sell us a false ideal that we should all have glowing and clear skin and for some, that's just not realistic. So I instead say, strive to get your skin in a healthy place that makes you feel your most confident self.
"There's no such thing as great skin, there's only better skin... I instead say, strive to get your skin in a healthy place that makes you feel your most confident self."
When it comes to moisturizers, what's your go-to?
SD: I have super dry skin so for me it's all about cocktailing a mixture of oils, serums, and moisturizers so my skin stays hydrated all day. In the morning, I tend to be a bit lighter on the oils and serums (especially if I plan to wear makeup) and just go for a heavy moisturizer. A few of my favorites include Charlotte Tilbury's Magic Cream or Drunk Elephant's Protini™ Polypeptide Cream. Both are hydrating but also light enough that I can layer makeup on them and it won't slip or slide.
As a woman of color, what do you think makes us beautiful?
SD: Wow, this is such a loaded question for me. There are very few things I find more beautiful than Black women. While there's no denying our physical beauty, our range of skin tones, hair textures, bold features, I think it's our spirits that make us most beautiful. In addition to being resilient, creative beyond measure, and intelligent we also have an incredible love for each other that makes us truly beautiful.
Let's say you have 30 minutes for a beauty look, what products would you use for your desired look?
SD: I actually really try to keep my makeup to under 15 minutes so this 30 minutes seems like so much time. After washing my face and doing a quick mask (I'm really into this one right now) I'll use one of the above moisturizers. Next, I'll use a tinted moisturizer -- Glossier's new formulas are pretty great and give you some coverage without being super cakey (I'm shade G2). Then I'll use NARS' creamy concealer, which is hands down one of the best concealers. I like to use that under my eyes and then on any spots I want to cover up.
While I don't use eyeshadow everyday, when I do I love to use a super bright color. Because why not? Colourpop has amazing colors and their products are super affordable. I love their pinks or blues and I'll usually use the shadow on my lashline for a nice pop. Then I'll finish off the eyes with lots of mascara. I like it super clumpy and think and NARS' Climax mascara one is super good.
If I go for a bright color shadow then I'll keep lips simple with gloss. As of late, I've been really into the old school MAC Lipglass. I used to use it a lot in highschool, so it's super nostalgic for me.
Self-care has become a huge buzzword – what does self-care mean to you?
SD: Self-care to me consciously living and constantly checking in with my body and spirit to see where I am. It also means having healthy ways of helping myself get back in balance when I am feeling off. It also means exercising the word "no" a lot more. If something is jeopardizing my well-being, I know it's okay to say "no" to that event, hang out, or even relationship.
Can you share three products you swear by?
SD: Three products that I swear by are:
1. Biologique Recherche p50,
2. Drunk Elephant's Babyfacial,
3. Vintner's Daughter serum
.
Are you ready to glow? Be sure to follow Siraad's tips!
- 93 Skin-Care Products Beauty Experts Use Every Morning | SELF ›
- A Guide to Korean Skincare for Women of Color - Racked ›
- Siraad Dirshe - Vogue ›
- Siraad Dirshe - Coveteur ›
- Siraad Dirshe | POPSUGAR ›
- What are Korean Skin Whitening Products and Do They Bleach Your ... ›
- Interview with Siraad Dirshe, ESSENCE Beauty Editor ›
- Siraad Dirshe Archives - Essence ›
- Siraad Dirshe ›
- Siraad Dirshe's Recent Articles - Refinery29 ›
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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