Start Celebrating Your Small Wins
It can be so easy to get distracted or even discouraged; especially when the wins are few and far between.
Focus.
Know what you want to accomplish and figure out what needs to be done to do so. Set big goals, goals that may seem unattainable to someone else; then do what's necessary to get closer to achieving them. By taking small steps and making progress towards whatever it is that you're after, you get to win a little bit at a time. Celebrate that.
A win is a win. Acknowledging even the smallest wins and giving yourself a pat on the back will motivate you to keep going.
It's natural to want to stop when you don't see results because we feel as though what we're doing is not working. But it is.
When we congratulate ourselves for our achievements, the fire we need to keep going remains lit.
Nobody can dim your light except you.
You must know that you don't need anyone's validation regarding your win, because it's yours. Remember that success doesn't look the same for everyone because everyone doesn't have the same concept of it. What's a win for you may not be for someone else, and that's fine. Your vision isn't meant to be seen or understood by everyone, because it's your vision. Don't let that deter you from what you're after. You'll have some people that get it, and some that don't; then there are those that see the excellence in you but try to downplay it in an effort to deter you.
Celebrate consistency.
You know what you're capable of, and even if you're not sure, be strong enough to continue anyway. Things will happen the way they should. The saying "hard work beats talent" is such a true statement because there are so many people that have the talent but don't have the will. If you have the will to succeed, then you're going to do just that. Consistency in itself is an accomplishment, toot your own horn just because you've maintained consistency. Giving up is so easy, so if you have decided not to, that's a win. Celebrate that.
Allow progress to push you forward.
When you take notice to every win, attaining the bigger goal doesn't seem so farfetched. It's like when you have a to-do list, checking off the smallest things gives you a sense of accomplishment and even lightens the load. Counting the small wins has this very same affect. You're able to see the progress you've made and how that progress has pushed you a little further toward what you're trying to achieve.
Round of applause.
We cheat ourselves when we don't find some form of happiness in the progress we've made. Giving recognition to the things we accomplish is so necessary for us to keep going. We must learn to build ourselves up, and clap for ourselves even if there is no one else around. In a world where validation is at the forefront of everything that we do, self-validation is all that matters. This is necessary for us to be strong enough to keep going when there's no one around to tell us to.
Have the will to keep going, find happiness in how far you've came and celebrate every milestone along the way.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Plume Creative/Getty Images.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage