“You f--ked me over and left my brain impregnated with your bastard babies called memories. It was all fun and games when I let you up in me, but now you won’t even take joint custody.”
That was the line that touched my soul. The line that stirred up some old memories of feeling used and emotionally abused after giving up a part of myself to a man boy who knew no more about how to love me than I knew about how to love myself. Because to be honest, if I truly knew my value and my worth at the time, he would have never been able to overdraft from my emotional bank account. He wouldn’t have been able to leave me emotionally broke and broken—curled up in a fetal position wondering what was wrong with me.
Via Buzzfeed
In a recent Buzzfeed video titled, “What I Wish Someone Told Me About Having Sex,” spoken word artist Daysha Edewi drops some heavy knowledge about the consequences of having (protected and unprotected) sex—not just physically, but mentally. With accompanying visuals that further enhance her words, she taps into a narrative that unfortunately too many women can relate to—one of passion that leads to pain after allowing a lover to play Geppetto with your emotions.
“I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. Always carry a condom, and never, ever get pregnant [...]People love to talk about how to avoid STIs of the physical kind, but nobody likes to talk about the STIs that can destroy your mind. The ones that can have you tossing and turning at 3am raking your brain and constantly wondering, was I not good enough for him?”
Because we’ve all been there. Those sleepless nights spent crying silent tears wondering how did you end up in this place? What could you have done to be better for him? Were you not caring enough, or not catering enough? Should you have been more submissive or more dismissive of the obvious bullshit that he was feeding you? Yeah, those thoughts.
“My sister always told me that my body was a temple, so never let a man in that doesn’t take the proper time to worship you, because you are a goddess that is truly worth sacrificing for. And I only wish that I had taken the time to listen to her more often, but instead I chose to listen to you. And that would’ve been okay if it weren’t for the fact that you’re love for me was untrue, because you liked someone else when you said that you liked me, too.”
Oh man, here we go. Here’s where we messed up, not realizing that his worthless lies weren’t worth our time.
[Tweet "We’re given the solution to problems we have yet to face by those who've been through the fire."]
But we choose to touch the stove to see if it’s hot anyway. And we get burned. Oh, do we get burned.
Via Buzzfeed
She continues:
“It took all but two texts to get you through my door, but let me text you about some child support. Just an honest why? Because I will never let myself be reduced to some 2am whore, creeping out of windows and sneaking through back doors. I will never let myself be reduced to just some side chick, just another side dish at the table that you pick at while you wait for your main entrée to just being your other bitch.”
How many of us still fight for a battle that we know we’ve already lost? Instead of walking away with our heads held high we come crawling back begging to be validated by the one who made us feel invalid to begin with.
“I am a person. I have feelings and emotions that have a right to be protected, and having a vagina and two tits shouldn’t make me any less deserving of your time or someone to be disrespected. So if you’re going to choose to be with her over me, well I guess you have to do what’s best then and I guess I just wish that we had taken the time to use both mental and physical protection, and had a conversation about what this all really meant before we had sex.”
Believe it or not, this last part breathes hope. It shows that she’s now aware of who she is and what she deserves, and that she no longer will accept that she’s anything less than a Queen to be treated like royalty. That this was just a lesson that she had to learn in order to win in the game called love. In this case, in order to win she had to start by loving herself.
Thank you, Daysha for speaking life back into the dead part of our souls.
Let us know what you think of Daysha's heartfelt words!
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening Eye Masks
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio Bright Eyes Depuffing and Brightening Eye Gels
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
COSRX Advanced Snail Hydrogel Eye Patch
COSRX
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Peace Out Puffy Under-Eye Patches
Amazon
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
Dieux Skin Forever Eye Mask Reusable Silicone Gel Eye Pads
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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