
Raise your hand if breakfast is your absolute favorite meal of the day. If that's the case, is it because of all of the health benefits that this particular meal offers (more energy, a kick in your metabolism, a boost of productivity, etc.)? Or is it because of the type of foods that you like to eat; ones that just happen to be your absolute favorite ones overall? If the answer is "B", while I'm certainly not out here to rain on any parades, I do want to encourage you to check out these 10 foods, just to see if the kind of breakfasts that you're having is working for or against you.
If, at the end of this, you discover that the answer to that little dilemma is also "B", while I'm not saying that you've got to go without the foods that bring you so much joy forever, you definitely should strongly consider pushing your plate back more often. Breakfast is supposed to be both good to you and for you. To make sure that happens, certain foods need to be consumed sparingly. Here are the ones that top the "Yeah, you might want to be careful with that" breakfast list.
10 'Bad' Breakfast Foods To Eat Less Of
1. ONLY Fruit Juice

Fruit juice comes from fruit and fruit is good for you; therefore, everything about fruit juice can't be the devil—and it's not. The antioxidants in fruit juice can help to boost your immune system and detoxify your body at the same time. Fruit juice is also a quick and delicious way to get certain vitamins and minerals into your system. Problem is, a lot of us don't drink pure fruit juice. Instead, we go for a cocktail or some other form of juice that is loaded with sugar. In fact, I once read an article that said juices like Ocean Spray 100% Cranberry Juice and Minute Maid Enhanced Pomegranate Blueberry actually contain more sugar than freakin' soda does!
If you don't want to drink only water in the morning, I get it. But try and either squeeze your own juice and/or check out this list of brands to buy and ones to avoid. Oh, and always remember that fructose, even though it comes from fruit, is still sugar. And when it comes to sugar consumption, moderation is always key.
2. Breakfast Bars

I know. Breakfast bars are convenient AF. Here's the thing, though. When was the last time you checked the ingredients on the label to see how many words you could actually pronounce? Unfortunately, some of the most popular breakfast bars are loaded with sugar and preservatives; ones that can cause your blood sugar levels to skyrocket, if you're not careful. If you still want to eat 'em but you'd like a cheat sheet to determine which are better than the rest, I've got you.
An article on The Daily Meal's site shared that ones like KIND Blueberry Breakfast Bars and Go Raw Raisin Crunch Sprouted Bar are pretty good for you while others like Kellogg's Special K Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Meal Bar and Nutri-Grain Fruit & Oat Harvest Baked Apple Cinnamon, you need to take a hard pass on. Whatever you go with, try not to make breakfast bars a staple. Eat them when you are truly in a pinch.
3. Flavored Yogurt

Ah, yogurt. Precious yogurt. Let's go with the good news first. Yogurt is full of calcium, vitamins B and D, phosphorus, magnesium, and potassium. Most yogurts contain probiotics too. If you're looking for a meat alternative to get a good amount of protein into your system, yogurt's totally got your back. Some studies even indicate that yogurt can help to keep your heart healthy. Problem is, if you opt for flavored yogurt, between the artificial flavoring and coloring and sugar content, you could end up doing your system more harm than good.
As far as figuring out which yogurt is best, the first thing to keep in mind is to apply the "less is more" rule when reading the label. In other words, the more ingredients that you see, the more you're increasing your chances of taking things into your body that it doesn't need. That said, make sure that sugar isn't in the top 3-5 ingredients. Also, check to see that the percentage of Vitamin D that the yogurt contains is on the higher side. Something else that can help you out is the article, "What's the Healthiest Yogurt? We Asked a Nutritionist". It breaks down some pretty popular brands and why some are—and aren't—healthy for you.
4. Sugary Cereal

Does nothing make you happier than a big ole' bowl of cereal? If so, I'm not gonna ruin that for you. The pros to eating cereal are that many of them are a great source of whole grains, fiber, protein, healthy carbs, and even vitamins like B-complex and Vitamin E. Thanks to all of this, cereal can be a great way to give yourself an energy kick at the start of your day. The "con" is a lot of us don't opt for boxes of unprocessed cereal (cereal where grains haven't been ground to a pulp and then mixed with sugar and preservatives before being dried and packaged). We prefer the kind that has as much sugar and artificial colors and flavors as possible. And considering that men should only consume around 36 grams of sugar a day, we should take in no more than 25-30 grams, and some cereal brands have double that amount per serving—well, I'm pretty sure you can see why sugary cereals are the ultimate breakfast no-no.
So, how do you go about selecting a cereal that will do more than just our taste buds good? Well, the more whole grain you see listed on the label, the better. Under 10 grams of sugar per serving is wise. Also, try and avoid cereals that contain "processed fiber" because they won't be able to keep you as regular or lower your cholesterol levels like unprocessed fiber can.
(By the way, if you wanna know if your favorite "junk food cereal" tops the list, check out "28 of the World's Highest Sugar Cereals". Brace yourself. Some on there may catch you totally off guard.)
5. Instant Oatmeal

A lot of us grew up having oatmeal for breakfast, at least a couple of times a week. Good thing too because oatmeal is considered to be a whole grain food that contains an unbelievable amount of manganese (141 percent of your reference daily intake), along with phosphorus, magnesium, copper, iron, zinc, folate, and vitamins B1 and B5. Oatmeal also has the antioxidants avenanthramides in it that can help to lower your blood pressure, the fiber Beta-glucan that promotes bacteria into your digestive tract and, there is even a study that says that babies who eat oatmeal significantly lower their chances of getting asthma later in life.
Just make sure that the oatmeal that you eat isn't instant. The packaging of them alone sounds off alarms about how many preservatives they contain. Plus, it's pretty common for instant oatmeal to have more sugar and less fiber than if you make a bowl the old-fashioned way.
6. Frozen Waffles

If I had a favorite breakfast comfort food, it would probably be French toast first with waffles being a close second. They both are delicious, but neither is the healthiest on the planet. Honestly, they're basically considered to be a pastry and, as far as waffles go, they are usually loaded with white flour and sugar—and that's before you pile on butter and syrup. The only thing more unhealthy than a homemade waffle is a frozen one.
If you look at the label, it usually doesn't have nearly enough of the daily amount of fiber that your body needs while still offering up plenty of preservatives to keep those waffles sitting in your freezer for weeks on end. Hey, I don't want to deprive anyone (including myself) of some chicken and waffles every now and then, but try and save that for special occasions rather than making it your automatic weekend go-to, OK? Cool.
7. Toaster Pastries

Out of everything on this list, the one that I'll probably have the shortest commentary on is toaster pastries. You know, like Pop-Tarts. They're like edible Kool-Aid if you ask me and there is nothing good, healthy, or beneficial about that. They are off-the-charts with the sugar, very low when it comes to fiber and protein, and then have the nerve to come two per package which means you're taking in a ton of empty calories. So, since there is really nothing redeemable about them, how about taking a firm pass, even if you're tempted to eat them, just for nostalgia's sake?
8. Bagels

Hmm. A toasted bagel with butter used to be a fave food of mine. If you also enjoy this particular food (only with cream cheese or some other topping), let me start with why bagels aren't necessarily the worst of the worst when it comes to breakfast options. Each bagel is around 11 grams of protein, three grams of fiber, and a fair amount of manganese, copper, vitamin B-1, and even a bit of iron and zinc. The challenge is they are also high in calories, refined carbs, and, oftentimes gluten too—and that's before you put your toppings on!
Bottom line, if bagels are your thing, you definitely don't need to eat them daily, you should go with a topping like hummus or nut butter, and to get some extra protein into your system, consider topping your bagel with an egg, a slice of salmon or protein—just to balance everything out.
9. Jellies

Here's the thing about most jellies. More times than not, the more popular brands contain a ton of high fructose corn syrup (you can read more about why that is the devil incarnate here), artificial coloring, artificial flavors, and preservatives. Nothing about any of that is good for you (no matter how great the combination may taste). So, it really is best to leave commercial brands alone altogether.
The only exception is if you go with a brand that is as natural as possible. That way, you can take advantage of the pectin (which is a form of fiber) and other nutrients that the fruit that makes the jelly provides. To tell you the truth, the healthiest jelly that you can eat is the kind you make at home (get tips on how to do that here). But if you'd prefer to get some at your local grocery store, Welch's Natural Concord Grape Spread is a jelly that contains no high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, or flavors. (You're welcome.)
10. Omelets

Now before you freak out on this one, let me just say that yes, eggs are good for you. They're high in protein, folate, zinc, calcium, and vitamins A, B12, D, and E. They are able to raise the level of high-density lipoprotein (HDL), which is "good cholesterol", in your system. The choline that's in eggs can help to build healthy cell membranes. Eggs even contain amino acids that can help to increase your muscle mass. But the reason why I chose to close out with omelets is that sometimes, all of the oil that they're made in, along with the tons of meat and cheese that go inside of them can be like eating a potential heart attack for breakfast!
That's why, first, it's so important to select the best kind of eggs—either pastured ones from a local farmer or Omega-3s, DHAs, or organic ones from your local grocery store (you can read why here). As far as making omelets go, try and put more veggies than meat (and cheese), prepare them in healthy fat like olive, coconut, and mustard oil, and use more cumin and paprika than salt (salt is high in sodium). If you follow these simple tips, you'll be able to enjoy your omelets, knowing that they truly are giving you what you need in order to have a great day.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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'Constant Reassurance' Is The Relational Orange Flag No One Wants To Address
Read more than scroll. Boy, if there is a motto that I would encourage people to implement, now more than ever in their life, it would be how important it is to read (actual books, researched data and fact-based information) over merely scrolling via social media. Because boy — every time I look out on apps to see what folks are talking about, I don’t know if I’m impressed with or appalled by how many nothing-more-than-emotionalized opinions are so boldly stated when, after five minutes on Google, it’s clear that there are virtually zero facts to back them up.
Not to mention the fact that so many folks literally don’t read (you know, past skimming) anymore — and yes, I have stats to prove it. I recently read that back in 2022, reportedly, a little over 48 percent of people read one book over the course of that entire year (that is not a good thing and proves that book reading is on a steady decline). Meanwhile, the amount of time that is spent on social media: 2.5 hours on a daily basis. That’s 150 minutes of listening to folks just say…whatever. And if you listen to it long enough, you could actually start believing it as gospel.
This includes what I am going to touch on today: the belief that if someone really cares about you, they should constantly reassure you. Y’all damn near are gonna have me join the world of social media again, just to address this one fallacy. For now, though, I’ll settle for making some points via this article — because as you can see from the title, I don’t agree with that conclusion at all.
In fact, I personally believe that thinking this way is a pretty big relational orange — if not red — flag.
Reassurance. And What It Does for a Child.
GiphyIf you’ve read enough of my content, you know that I am big on word definitions — and when it comes to the word “reassurance,” the meaning alone explains why this article has the title that it does:
Reassurance: something, such as information, praise, or an action or gesture, that soothes, comforts, or restores to confidence
Reassurance restores confidence. Bookmark that, please. I will certainly circle back to that point before I am done.
Okay, so when it comes to, say a child, there is absolutely a place for reassurance. That’s because they are still in the process of significant self-development and so they need reassurance in order to feel safe, secure and loved. It’s also a way for them to establish trust in others.
However, did you know that many mental health experts say that if a child deals with, say anxiety, constant reassurance can actually be counterproductive because they can start to rely on external validation to emotionally stabilize them instead of learning how to remain calm and relaxed on their own (yeah, bookmark that too)? Some other ways that constant reassurance can become potentially problematic is it can cause kids to create problems that don’t exist, to overthink and to jump to the wrong conclusions (hmm…very interesting).
And so, already, we’re seeing something pretty interesting, right? Although reassurance has its place, too much of it, even for kids, typically ends up doing more harm than good.
Let’s keep building.
How 'Lack' As a Child Can Manifest As an Adult
GiphyOkay, so we just touched on how constant reassurance can be counterproductive for an anxious child. Now what about when that child grows up? If they never learned how to properly and effectively deal with their anxiety, what then? Well, this is where attachment styles can very easily come into play — especially since one of them is literally called “anxious attachment style.”
Anxious attachment style is rooted in insecurity. It typically stems from experiencing the type of dysfunctional upbringing that resulted in one or both parents being unpredictable or inconsistent in their caregiving approach and techniques. As a result, the child deals with things like fear of abandonment or rejection and, without healing from that, they become an adult who is pretty much the exact same way.
In relationships, it can manifest in them being extra clingy, codependent, super jealous, controlling or — catch it — someone who is always looking for validation and reassurance.
Hmph. Did you catch that? Did you really catch that? Needing constant reassurance in a relationship IS NOT something that should automatically come with a relationship. In fact, if you’re someone who has this type of need or even expectation, there’s a really good chance that what you actually need is therapy — not for your partner to work harder to make you feel better about yourself or the relationship.
Which brings me to my next point.
Relationships Can Be Therapeutic. They Aren’t Therapy, Though.
GiphySomething that some of my clients will tell you that they’ve heard me say, more than once I might add is, “PARENT and PARTNER are not palindromes.” A palindrome is a word (line, sentence, etc.) that is the same whether it is spelled backwards or forwards — and while, of course, parent and partner couldn’t qualify as being that, what I mean is there are far too many people who think that partners should pick up where parents left off and/or dropped the ball — and that is a super unhealthy approach to relationships. Come to think of it, not only is it unhealthy but really unfair as well.
This is exactly why I’m not big on phrases like “the princess treatment” in adult relationships. A princess is the daughter of a king while a queen is the wife of one. For a grown woman to expect a man to do what a father did for her as a child without accepting that as an adult, there are far more responsibilities as a wife that comes into play? Yep, that is toxic thinking.
And you know what? So is expecting your partner to overcompensate for where your father and/or mother didn’t show up in the way that they should have. That is not your partner’s fault, their role or their assignment while dating you. If you feel otherwise, it really is time to speak with a professional who can help you to do a bit of “reprogramming” in your thinking because, for you to feel and/or assume that since your parents didn’t make you feel confident and secure or teach you how to value yourself, your partner should work overtime to make up for it? There is not one thing that is healthy, mature or emotionally solid about having that type of mindset.
And that is why I am also good for saying that, although relationships can be therapeutic (healing), they should never EVER be seen as therapy. Therapists are trained to deal with the mental and emotional challenges that people have. On the other hand, no one should expect their partner to have the knowledge and expertise that professionals do — and while we’re here, partners also shouldn’t trust that someone who needs the assistance of a therapist to become whole (again) would know exactly what steps are required for that to happen.
So yeah, if you’re someone who thinks that being loved means that someone needs to constantly make you feel good about yourself or secure in the relationship — you probably do have an anxious attachment style. See a professional to get that confirmed, though. Because no one should have to make you feel valued or worthy. That is an inside job.
And this brings me to my final point.
It’s Not Fair to Want Someone to Love You More than You Do
GiphyFor this last point, something that Christ once said immediately comes to mind:
“No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Matthew 9:16-18 — NKJV)
A lot of times, Christ spoke in parables because it was easier for people to get where he was coming from (Matthew 13:13). Anyway, along these lines, what would be the point in pouring a liquid into a bottle that has a hole in it? It’s not built to contain and maintain the fluid and so, no matter how delicious the drink may be, no matter how many times it’s poured into the bottle, the bottle is never going to remain full — because it has cracks in it.
BOOKMARK THAT.
My fourth baby’s daddy (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”), while we were in the process of our “exit interview” (which is what I choose to call it) of our dynamic, he said something that has always stayed with me: “Shellie, your biggest problem is you receive compliments are revelations when they should be seen as confirmations.” Hmph. The irony of HIM saying that is kind of a trip and yet, at the time when we were experiencing each other, he was exactly right. I should’ve never had such a low sense of self-worth that whatever a man said to me had me so in awe that I either felt extremely grateful or became super addicted to his validation.
And y’all, that is exactly what needing constant reassurance looks like — because why does someone need to keep telling you that you are beautiful, keep saying that you are wonderful, keep letting you know that they want to be with you — keep restoring your confidence in yourself and in your relationship with them?
In other words, why should they work harder at making you feel good about yourself and solid in your relationship than you are willing to? Isn’t that just like pouring liquid into a broken bottle?
There is someone in my family tree who I had to distance myself from because he kept venting to me about his marriage and the fact that his wife was just like this. Sadly, it was never (and I do mean NEVER) enough that he chose her — whenever she felt some type of way about herself, here she came looking for him to fill her voids. After a couple of years of the nonstop needs for reassurance, he was worn out from doing it and I was exhausted from hearing about it. He was too scared to call her out and she was too unaccountable to get the real help that she needed. Whew. Toxic on top of toxic.
So Shellie, what are you saying — that we shouldn’t expect compliments, affirmations, support and encouragement in our relationships? Chile, if that is what you got out of this, you are choosing to think that way because that couldn’t be further from where I am coming from.
Again, you’ve got to remember what reassurance means: it’s about restoring confidence. A compliment is “an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration” yet if you already know that you are pretty, smart, funny, whatever, someone telling you that isn’t “building your confidence;” it’s cosigning on something that you are already aware of. Encouragement is about inspiring or stimulating someone and so yes, of course, the right partner is going to want to see you win in life and so they are going to offer up influence and motivation to help you — but what if they aren’t there?
Shouldn’t you be able to encourage yourself? ABSOLUTELY. However, expecting them to restore your confidence due to things that have nothing to do with them or because you simply lack self-confidence? That is not how relationships are to go. If you aren’t sure of yourself (which is a foundational definition of confident), get to the root of why and then figure what you need to do to become sure — that way, your partner doesn’t have to constantly “fill you up;” actually, what they do will be surplus instead of void-filling because your “bottle” will be unbroken.
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I’m telling you, if you pay attention to the relationship side of socials, at least twice a day, someone will talk about how they think that a relationship should entail receiving constant reassurance. Lies on top of lies. No one should think that love means trying to make someone else feel sure about themselves because they don’t know how to do so on their own.
And this is why I say that expecting constant reassurance is an orange, if not red, flag.
Because when you already feel good about yourself, there is no need.
And if you don’t, figuring out how to is an inside job — FIRST.
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