
‘We Are Continuously Evolving’: Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker Open Up About Their 17-Year Marriage

Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker are one of Hollywood’s sexiest couples and they have one of the most revered marriages. The couple met on the set of the TV series Soul Food and got married years later in 2005. They share two children, Sophie 17, and Nicholas 15, and have continued to be a positive example of what a healthy relationship looks like. In an interview with Essence, the Brown Sugar stars opened up about their family and how they’ve maintained their beautiful union.
One of the ways that their family stays connected is by having traditional family dinners. “Every night we have dinner together—-no phones, no nothing,” Boris said. “It’s just us cooking and then we’ll have dinner together. And we talk about everything. In the last three years with the various pandemics, it was important for us to connect and have that space and that time.”
Staying connected is important for the actors. They have often collaborated with one another on projects such as their short-lived talk show The Boris & Nicole Show and more recently the Lifetime movie Safe Space which Nicole starred and Boris directed. Outside of work, they also make sure to carve out time for just the two of them.
“We do lots of traveling. I think that’s been our love language. We travel so well together,” said Nicole. “And he’s from Germany and Ghana, so when the kids came, we were a traveling family. We would go to see their grandma and their grandfather. It was really part of our lives.”
“I think also, we’re trying to slowly–you might be the first to know this–do what they all say about that morning breath work together. We haven’t perfected it. It sometimes ends with laughing. It doesn’t have to be long, but we’re slowly trying to breathe together.”
Boris added, “My sister-in-law is a breath coach, Nicole Kodjoe. You can check her out on Instagram. She’s an amazing breath coach who’s taught us a lot about breathing and the healing properties of that.”
Breathing together is one of the ways they share intimacy. With their busy schedules, Boris acting, producing and directing, and Nicole joining the Sex and the City spin-off And Just Like That, they make it their mission to always find time for each other and that’s what makes their marriage work.
“I think that we are continuously evolving and getting to know each other even better. It’s trial by error. It’s putting effort in every single day, it’s work, but I found my person,” Boris admitted. “So there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to share my life with her. So yeah, I think that that would be it. To continue to get to know each other better, more intimately, and deeper. And more joyfully as well.”
2003
Actress Nicole Ari Parker and actor Boris Kodjoe attend Showtime's Pre-Golden Globe Party on January 24, 2004.
Giulio Marcocchi/Getty Images
2004
Actors Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker attend the 2004 Black Entertainment Awards.
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
2006
Boris Kodjoe and wife Nicole Ari Parker at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Madea's Family Reunion.'
Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage
2007
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe
George Pimentel/WireImage for Classic Entertainment Group
2008
Nicole Ari Parker and husband actor Boris Kodjoe arrive at the unveiling of Tyler Perry Studios on October 4, 2008.
Moses Robinson/WireImage
2010
Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage
2011
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the 2011 InStyle And Warner Bros. 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards post-party.
Lester Cohen/WireImage
2013
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend BET's 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' Wrap Dinner at Xen Lounge.
Maury Phillips/Getty Images for BET
2014
Nicole Ari Parker Kodjoe and husband Boris Kodjoe arrive at the Premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures and IMAX Entertainment's 'Island Of Lemurs: Madagascar.'
Angela Weiss/Getty Images
2015
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend the 2015 BET Awards at the Microsoft Theater.
Earl Gibson/BET/Getty Images for BET
2016
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe, and Nicolas Neruda Kodjoe attend HollyRod Foundation's DesignCare Gala.
Tiffany Rose/Getty Images for HollyRod Foundation
2017
Nicole Ari Parker (L) and Boris Kodjoe attend the premiere of Sony Pictures' 'Smurfs: The Lost Village.'
David Livingston/Getty Images
2018
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend Rock The Runway presented by Children's Miracle Network Hospitals at Avalon.
Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
2021
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend HBO Max's 'And Just Like That' New York Premiere.
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
2022
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the amfAR Cannes Gala 2022.
Kevin Tachman/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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