I think as we get older, we tend to try to figure out which fairytales could we turn our lives into and which ones were just bullshit. I'm pretty sure that we all heard of the man in the moon, we can't stand Cinderella's bald head ass, and most women have even added the infamous ability to squirt to that fairytale list as well.
Well, I am calling you all here today to tell you it is indeed freaking possible! So masturbation is seriously an amazing hobby of mine. Yes a hobby - I enjoy doing it to pass time, can't nobody do it like me, and now I've figured out how to make myself squirt on demand.
Like many women, I do give great props to the body wand. It was my first real vibrator that could make me come hard and fast, and, on top of that, it was durable. I really couldn't can't ask for much more than that… I thought. Well, after starting my sex blog, I began receiving toys to test out and one of those was the clitoral stimulator.
I woke up and rolled over to my goody drawer to begin my morning routine of getting a couple of orgasms out of the way before going about my day and being an adult and I thought, how about trying out the Satisfyer clitoral stimulator today? Using it was simple enough. It had an on/off button, speeds, and a suction cup that you place over your clit. From there, you hold it in place with your hand and let the stimulator do the rest.
Now, this is where it got real. The climb was unlike any I had ever had before. It wasn't quick and precise like the body wand, it was slow, deep, and swirled around like a hurricane in my lady parts. It made me circle around my orgasm, demanding that I be patient, and that was delicious. This toy came with freaking foreplay it felt like.
Usually, I'm a pretty quick and to the point self-lover but there were moans, sheet grabbing, and real life seduction as if I wasn't laying in my covers by my damn self. And the finale changed my life! I literally got to my peak and fell.
And it was a stomach piercing feeling that caused me to suck the air from my lungs back in. My breathing was nonexistent. Hell, I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until the liquid shot out of me. This orgasm was long as hell and very rambunctious. I tried to gain control of the muscles down there but it just couldn't happen. After I had collected myself, I couldn't even try to manage another out like usual. I got up to begin my day and a big ass wet spot was where I had been, proof that the clitoral stimulator had just pushed every important person in my life one spot to the left to make room for this!
Now I know everyone doesn't come the same way as others, but every time I have a client tell me that they have never had orgasm or has never squirted, this is the toy that I recommend for multiple reasons:
- It wines and dines you. When I say that I mean it takes its time getting you to your peak, which provides a map for the woman on what her journey to orgasm really feels like so that when she's with her partner she will feel those familiar signs and can better direct him of what to do.
- It stimulates countless nerves at once, which more often than not, can easily result in the female ejaculation, or as we may better recognize it, "squirting."
- The battery life is amazinggggggg. The battery operated one is great but for about $50 more, you could get the rechargeable one and have multiple sessions without needing a recharge.
- It's great to use with other toys. For example, slip a yoni egg or some Ben wa balls inside you and then use the clitoral stimulator, and tell me it doesn't change your life.
- Did I mention it makes you squirt? Often… okay.
If you need to purchase a clitoral stimulator or find out more about Orgasms and hands on Sex Workshops, contact Samia Burton or @SexualEssentials on Instagram and Facebook. You can also cop your very own Satisfyer clitoral stimulator here.
Related Stories:
All You Ever Needed to Know About Squirting - Read More
It's A Vibe: The One Vibrator Every Woman Needs - Read More
I Had a Billion Dollar Orgasm With This $2000 Sex Toy - Read More
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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