**Update Ashanti gave birth to a baby boy on July 18, 2024 (Scroll down for more info).
Update: Nelly and Ashanti just confirmed that they are expecting and engaged. The singer shared an Instagram video confirming the news in the cutest way. She captioned it, “Baby Baby Baby…. ❤️🙏🏽😆.”
The beloved couple first sparked pregnancy rumors over the weekend during the "Dilemma" artist's Black and White Ball. The two were onstage when the R&B songstress touched her stomach. Nelly then placed his hand on her stomach, and they both laughed. According to Us Weekly, a source confirmed that they were indeed expecting their first child together.
It's official! Nelly finally confirms that he and Ashanti have rekindled their romance. The "Country Grammar" rapper sat down with Love and Hip Hop Atlanta stars Rasheeda and Kirk Frost on Boss Moves with Rasheeda and revealed the news (although this comes as no surprise to many of us who've heard the rumors.) "Yeah, we cool again. I think it surprised both of us, though," he said, smiling. "It wasn't anything that was like, I don't think planned. I think we both was pretty much doing what we do, but sometimes, being separate, you understand one another more.
He continued, "You can be like, well, yo, let me see exactly what they see, you know, 'cause we all can be defensive sometimes in our own relationships. We know we wrong, but we gonna stand on it, but we all are victim to that." When Rasheeda asked him if it felt good to get back with the "Baby" singer, he replied, "Yeah."
"I mean because it's no pressure. Before, I feel like both of us are doing what we doing career-wise, and when you got so many people in the middle of it, it could be tough," he said.
After the news came out, Ashanti later hit the 2023 VMA's red carpet wearing a clutch with a picture of the couple plastered on it, and it was giving "my man, my man, my man." However, she told ET that the photo on her clutch was taken at the 2003 VMA's 20 years ago. We love a full-circle moment.
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Rumors of the couple rekindling their relationship started in December 2021 when they performed their song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert. From there, they were spotted together many more times, further fueling the rumors. The couple has a long history together filled with beautiful moments that make them one of the most beloved celebrity couples in music. Here's a look back on their love:
Ashanti and Nelly Complete Relationship Timeline
2003: Nelly and Ashanti Meet
Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images
Nelly and Ashanti meet for the first time at the Grammy Awards press conference in 2003. In a 2011 episode of VH1's Behind the Music, the "Foolish" singer reflected on that moment. “The first time I met Nelly, he asked me for my autograph, but I think he was being sarcastic, and I remember writing it down on the program,” she recalled. “That picture has been in so many publications as something else, but it all started out as a joke. For the record, it took him a long time to get my number.”
Nelly and Ashanti Begin Dating
However, it wasn't long after meeting that the two reportedly began dating.
2008: Ashanti Teases Future Engagement to Nelly
The couple kept their relationship relatively private. However, Ashanti did give some insight into their future plans. In an interview with People, the Grammy award-winning artist teased a possible engagement. “Oh no. Noooo! No engagement.” she said while responding to rumors of an upcoming wedding, “But definitely in the future. Ha! Ha!”
Nelly and Ashanti Collaborate on Music
Photo by Thomas Gannam/WireImage
Nelly and Ashanti collaborated on the song "Body On Me," and the "Dilemma" rapper also starred in the singer's video for "Good Good."
2010: Nelly Explains Why He Isn't Ready for Marriage
In an interview with Rap-Up TV, Nelly revealed why he has yet to propose to Ashanti. “I don’t know, right now we’re just friends,” he said. “I’m married to my work. I’m married to getting things into a certain situation. She’s married to getting things into a certain situation right now.”
He concluded, “We enjoy each other’s company. We love it.”
2013: Nelly and Ashanti Break Up
In 2013, the couple reportedly split after a decade together.
2014: Ashanti Calls Nelly Her First Real Love
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Talking to Sway in the Morning, Ashanti revealed that Nelly was her "first true love."
Nelly Begins Dating Shantel Jackson
That same year, Nelly began dating Shantel Jackson.
2015: Ashanti Said Nelly 'Betrayed' Her
Ashanti opened up about her breakup with the diamond-selling artist on The Meredith Vieira Show. “I think sometimes when people have their own insecurities, it allows them to act out of character,” she said. “I’ve been betrayed.”
She continued, “And I feel like, again, you just have to grow. You have to grow up and accept responsibility for the things that you do. I’m not a big fan of people being cowards. I think it’s really important to know yourself and understand what you want and get it. I’m in a different place right now.”
2021: Nelly and Shantel Split Up
Shantel confirmed that she and Nelly broke up while replying to a fan on Instagram. "No we're not ….. Just friends," she said after being asked if they were still together.
Nelly and Ashanti's Verzuz Hug Goes Viral
Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage
In September 2021, the then-former couple made headlines when Nelly walked across the stage to hug Ashanti during Fat Joe and Ja Rule's Verzuz, which had fans hopeful for a reconciliation. Later, in an interview with Angie Martinez, the artist who is featured in the Guinness World Records book, revealed how she felt seeing him.
"It was very unexpected. I hadn't seen him in like six years or more. Spoken or seen," she said. "It was a little awkward." However, she said she wore "the perfect ex outfit."
Ashanti Denies Dating Flo Rida and Explains Why She Likes to Keep Her Love Life Private
During her December 2021 The Breakfast Club appearance, Ashanti cleared up rumors that she was dating rapper Flo Rida after photos of them vacationing together made their rounds on social media. "That's my brother. Me and Flo are super cool," she said.
She continued, "We've been going to each other's birthday parties for ten years, so I don't know why it's such a surprise now." The "Only U" artist also opened up about why she likes to keep her love life private. "I have never in my life posted a dude that I'm dealing with, ever. I mean, maybe Nelly on the fly or something like that. Like 100 years ago, but nothing like, 'oh, we're together, never." I like to keep things private.
"I like to be super low especially until things are like solid, solid," she explained. "There are at least two people super heavy in the industry, we dated and we never posted."
Nelly and Ashanti Perform Together
The two performed their hit song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert in Arizona, thus sparking dating rumors.
February 2023: Nelly Addresses Ashanti Dating Rumors
Photo by John Sciulli/WireImage
Nelly opened up about his friendship with Ashanti in a February interview with Entertainment Tonight. "Time does wonders for a lot of different things, and time is one those things that allows you time to reflect on what's what, and you get a chance to see things in a different light and see your faults," he said. "So I think we both did that, and it's cool that we just friends."
April 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Reunite Again
In April, the "Body On Me" collaborators further fueled rumors of them dating again after they were spotted holding hands at the Gervonta Davis vs. Ryan Garcia fight. And in May 2023, they shared another steamy performance at the Palms Casino Resort during the singer's show with Ja Rule.
June 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Wear Matching Outfits
The following month, Nelly and Ashanti attended Pierre "P" Thomas' birthday party wearing matching outfits.
August 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Share a Video Singing Together
The couple posted a video of them singing to Usher's 1998 hit "Nice & Slow."
September 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Confirm They're Back Together
Let's hope they make the second time around count.
December 2023
The couple are reportedly expecting their first child together.
August 2024: Ashanti Gives Birth
Congratulations are in order as Ashanti revealed her postpartum body after giving birth to a baby boy with Nelly. In the video, she shared that she had the baby four weeks ago. "Four weeks postpartum. You have no idea what this body can do," she said. Their son's name is Kareem Kenkaide Haynes. Kenkaide is Ashanti's father's name.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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