From the moment we are born, it seems there is a lot of anticipation for our future. As babies, our parents watch us take our first steps and wonder how we will step into the world. As children in grade school, our teachers may ask us who we want to be when we grow up before we know who we are. For most of us, as young adults, we are pressured to declare a major in college and land that job that requires years of experience before having any life experience. Anticipation for the future can come with a ton of pressure and make us feel anxious - at least it has for me.
Living with anxiety is like being in a time machine - always focused on the future or the past, and rarely present. Coming from a single mother who struggled to provide for her three children, I always felt pressured to make sure my future was bright. I constantly worry about my future because my future determines how the next generation in my family will live. The classic "breaking generational curses" has always sat heavily on my shoulders. An anxious worry most Black, brown, and first-generation young adults have on their shoulders.
The uncertainty about the future, especially in today's climate, has made me feel like I'm possibly not alone in this. Having anticipation anxiety seems to be becoming more common among young adults. While processing my anticipation anxiety, I wanted to dig further into the meaning of anticipation anxiety and how we can become more confident in our future and live more in the present. I had the pleasure of talking with mental health professionals Sierra Hillsman and Marline Francois-Madden.
Here are their thoughts.
On Defining Anticipation Anxiety And Finding Hope In Crisis:
"Anticipation anxiety falls under the category of generalized anxiety, a phobia, and can be linked to panic disorders. I like to define it as the overarching theme of all three of these categories. With anticipation anxiety, the individual is dealing with the fear of what may come out of a particular circumstance. For example, if a person is anticipating the intensity of a test or even transitioning into the workspace. They may have worries about socializing with coworkers after so long, the intensity of the office, or even what they will do about child care. These are all common with anticipation anxiety."
"If we feel like we don't meet the standard or have the necessary tools to rise to the occasion, we might shrink ourselves. It is causing us to feel like we can't get through it."
"I always tell my clients to look at themselves in the three selves: self-image, self-efficacy, and self-esteem. Self-image is how we see ourselves; self-efficacy is how we see ourselves in relation to our capabilities; self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. A coping mechanism that helps is increasing self-awareness. Take time to document your triggers; what sets you off? What are some warning signs? They may manifest physically, mentally, or emotionally. After, focus on hobbies that can reduce those stressors and help you cope until you get into a safe space.
"Find what gives you a sense of meaning and hope. This mindset will help you establish a sense of resiliency to move forward beyond your anxiety."
"On top of anticipation anxiety rising among the Black and brown community, there is still a lot of social and racial injustice in this country. Historically, this country has been oppressing us for generations, but the work that we're doing today gives us a sense of hope that we can create change today and create change for the children and generations after us. What is going to cause you to rise above it? What gives you hope at this moment?"
On Seeking Proper Help And Seeking The Positive Side Of Anxiety:
"Self-diagnosing for anticipation anxiety can be dangerous, and the individual needs to seek professional help from a licensed therapist. As previously stated, there are several anxiety-related disorders, and one needs to be properly assessed by a professional. Self-diagnosing can lead one to believe their symptoms are far worse than they are and can cause higher levels of stress."
"It is important to give yourself grace when dealing with anticipation anxiety and be honest with your emotions."
"While anticipation anxiety may not be viewed as a good thing, there are times where it can help one to be vigilant about potential harm. Some people may experience eustress, which feels like excitement about something in the future. For example, one may experience eustress from launching a new business, throwing a day party, getting married, or starting graduate school. These are perfectly normal emotions to have, be gentle with yourself, and live in the moment. "
"Practicing mindfulness daily can help to relieve any stressors. Also, building a community that you can share how you're feeling and letting them know how they can best support you at the moment can help relieve stressors and remaining present easier."
Featured image by Getty Images
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'Power Book II: Ghost' Star LaToya Tonodeo Talks Breakout Role And Shooting Her Shot At 50 Cent For An Audition
Actress LaToya Tonodeo demonstrated the power of speaking up as she recently recalled how she secured her breakout role in Starz's Power Book II: Ghost.
The hit show, a spinoff of the original series Power, follows the journey of college student Tariq St. Patrick (Michael Rainey Jr.) as he tries to escape his father's tainted image while running a drug operation.
In Power Book II: Ghost, Tonodeo portrays the role of Diana Tejada, the daughter of former kingpin Lorenzo Tejada and Monet Tejada, played by Mary J. Blige.
The series debuted in 2020 and became an instant hit as viewers were glued to the screen weekly due to its captivating storylines. Power Book II: Ghost is currently in its third season and has been renewed for a fourth.
Although Tonodeo has been a part of the entertainment industry for over a decade by appearing in various television shows and films, the 26-year-old's star shined a lot brighter after landing a role in Power Book II: Ghost.
In an IG Live with xoNecole, Tonodeo opened up about how her dream opportunity came to fruition and the rumor that she boldly asked Power's executive producer, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, to participate in one of his projects.
LaToya On Previously Working With 50 Cent
In last month's discussion, Tonodeo revealed that before landing Power Book II: Ghost, she was already working alongside Jackson for his Sony/Crackle series The Oath.
In the show, the actress played the character Tara Byrd. Tonodeo shared that as the red carpet premiere for the first season of The Oath occurred in 2018, she missed her opportunity to connect with Jackson because she was working on another project. But as fate would have it, The Oath was renewed for a second season.
In 2019, as Tonodeo reprised her role in the show and attended the red carpet premiere for the second season, she briefly chatted with Jackson, who at the time acquired the rights to the BMF story.
"Well, what's crazy [is] I was already on a 50 Cent show. So at that premiere, it's called The Oath. It was the season two premiere of The Oath on Sony/ Crackle, and he was there," she said. "Season one, there was a premiere, and 50 Cent attended. I wasn't there because I was doing The Fosters, and I'm like, 'man.' When I got to go to the season two premiere, I saw him, and it was around the time when he got the rights for the BMF story."
The Bold Move That Helped 'Powerbook' Star LaToya Tonodeo Land the Role
LaToya On Asking 50 Cent To Audition For a Role And Landing 'Power Book II: Ghost'
Tonodeo explained that during her conversation with Jackson, she congratulated the mogul on obtaining the rights to the BMF story and expressed her interest in wanting to be a part of the project.
Tonodeo added that although she is unclear if Jackson remembered their encounter or "if it meant anything," when a Power Book II: Ghost role came along, she auditioned and landed the job.
"I was like, 'Oh my God, like I want to be a part of it.' But I don't know why I did it. I just walked over there, and I was like, 'Hey, congratulations on getting the rights. I would love to audition.' I don't know why I did that. I don't even know if it meant anything or if he remembers or not. I do know that I did my thing in the audition, so yeah, we are here now," she stated.
Either way, with that story, Tonodeo has displayed the perfect example of "closed mouths don't get fed."
Power Book II: Ghost is now streaming on Starz.
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Feature image by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for STARZ