Since arriving on the scene roughly four years ago at just the age of 19, Gabriella Sarmiento Wilson infiltrated the music landscape as we know it. She came in hard, with heavy hitter anthems which all solidified her as an artist to watch. Since, H.E.R. has made major strides: number one album releases, performing alongside industry giants, and even celebrating the 60th birthday of the supremely adored former president, Barack Obama.
Her mystique has become a part of her persona, and her sun-shaded anonymity is what TF she does. In fact, as her career elevates to newer levels, who she is as an artist becomes more revealed, and the less we know about her, leaving us all with our hands out and wanting to know more. We decided to compile a list of the journey of H.E.R., from how she got started, all the way to songbird that she has emerged into. Here's 7 things you didn't know about the songstress taking over music:
1. H.E.R. spent the early part of her career working to keep her identity under wraps.
H.E.R. released an album in 2017 with just seven songs, no biography, and only a mysterious full-body silhouette on the cover of her first album. She spent the greater part of the beginning of her career declining to show or confirm her identity. Who is this person? What is this music? Why won't she show her face? But it wasn't all just a gimmick. While she went to great lengths to remain lowkey, according to Billboard, fans figured out who she was after digging through SoundCloud, with Janet Jackson and Drake both raving about her and revealing H.E.R. identity on social media.
She would then go on to wear her signature sunglasses in order to continue to conceal her identity, a practice she still does today. When discussing why she created this image of herself, she told ELLE:
"I think it has allowed me to make the music the focus, and for people not to care about the superficial things or who I'm associated with, what clique I belong to—all those things that don't matter. It's really made people focus on the music, and that's what's special about it."
2. Yet, ironically enough, H.E.R. stage name is an acronym for "Having Everything Revealed."
Today, although H.E.R. has almost entirely shedded her secrecy, she does still gaze at her adoring fans from many a pair of stylish sunglasses. It's almost ironic, actually, that as her name is an acronym for "Having Everything Revealed." But amazingly, her shades serve as a metaphor for what her career is about as they are often extremely reflective, so when you try to look directly in her eyes, you see yourself.
"I try to always stay focused, and stay true to myself, because as a woman, it's easy to look at other women and feel like, Maybe I should be doing this. In the age of social media, you look at other women who get attention, or compliments, and we start to question ourselves. I think the pressure is not just on me as an artist. I think it's on everybody."
3. She signed her first record deal with Sony at age 14.
H.E.R. had been singing and performing since girlhood as Little Gabi Wilson, singing in her dad's cover band and, at age 10, making her way to the Today show where she covered Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You." When she was 12, she got her big break as one of five finalists in an American Idol-esque radio show contest, hosted by Radio Disney.
She ultimately lost the competition but was signed to her first record label, Sony at 14.
4. H.E.R. can play five instruments. FIVE.
GiphyIn very Prince-esque fashion, H.E.R. has taken a page from the Purple One's book and has managed to learn (self-taught) to play multiple instruments. A pianist, drummer, and masterful guitarist who can solo with the electric, acoustic, and bass guitar, the woman can get down with the best of them (likely because she's one of the best of them). She told Rolling Stone:
"Playing guitar is part of who I am, since I was a kid. I remember watching a video of Lenny Kravitz and Prince [from the Rave Un2 the Year 2000 concert] when I was a kid. That video changed my life—it made me want to play guitar just because of how rock star it is."
5. Her greatest career advice came from Alicia Keys.
If you ask her, it's no secret that one of H.E.R.'s greatest inspirations is the one and only Mrs. Problem-On-The-Keys, Alicia Keys. In fact, some of her greatest advice came from the giant. She told Refinery29:
"Alicia Keys told me that when it comes to music, all you need is three chords and the truth. I think you can apply that to life, too."
6. Grammys are inevitable, but H.E.R. is an Oscar winner as well.
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After five EPs, one album and a cool 12 Grammy noms in just three short years, 2021 has been a year of recognition for H.E.R. that's extended beyond her talent, which is an 'ask about me' flex we didn't know we needed. One of H.E.R.'s latest accomplishments, is an addition of an Oscar to her trophy case for the song "Fight For You", her soulful addition to Judas and the Black Messiah soundtrack that picked up the Academy Award for Best Original Song. To pay homage to Prince, she rocked an outfit similar to the outfit Prince won his Oscar in that night and proudly said:
"All those days of listening to Sly & the Family Stone, Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye really paid off, so thank you dad."
Additionally, she has taken the moment to reflect on the bigger picture of her career: finding a balance of being herself and using her voice, and welcoming the journey of responsibility of giving a voice to the voiceless. She told NME:
"At first I didn't realize activism was part of my artistic purpose but I guess my voice matters."
7. She believes her superpower is the ability to be all things as a woman.
In the same way that you can't place H.E.R.'s music in only one genre, a young Gabi Wilson refused to be defined by either of her cultures growing up (she Filipino and African-American). She told GlamourUK:
"There were times where I felt too Filipino for the Black kids and too Black for the Filipino kids. Or when I was going to the grocery store with my mom and people [were] like, 'That's your mom? Her hair's straight, your hair's curly. And it's like, 'I come from both places. This is what you get."
"I was just trying to figure out what that all meant and not put myself in a box, because people always tried to do that. You know, they need a point of reference. But sometimes you can be all things… and I think that's been my superpower."
She continued:
"I'm always trying new things, always recreating things that I love, but honestly, I think it's all about doing you. It's cool to be on new trends or whatever but how does it make you feel? What do you feel like? It's dressing from the inside out. Sometimes I want to be a rockstar, sometimes I want to look like Lenny Kravitz!"
Well, if Lenny Kravitz is anything like us, he wants to be you too.
Watch the video of her latest single, 'Come Through' featuring Chris Brown below:
Her album, Back of My Mind, is available on all streaming platforms right now!
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Featured image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images
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Because here’s the thing — just as love has seasons and stages, so does, well, grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and what a lot of people don’t tell you is the stages can come in cycles and even overlap. It’s important that when this happens, you are both self-compassionate as well as hypervigilant when it comes to implementing self-care.
And that’s what moved me so about the lead video for this piece (see below), where Regina King (someone who I enjoy and appreciate on so many levels) is talking about where she currently is, in her own grief, almost three years after her son Ian’s passing. In her eyes, there is both sadness (a stage of grief) and resilience (a form of acceptance) and, to me, it serves as a reminder that through grief, we must nurture self. It is essential. It is paramount.
The article continues after the video.
If you are currently in the stage of grieving something or someone, here are 10 things that you can do, physically, to get through — not over but through — what you are currently experiencing. Because another quote that I honor about grief? “Sometimes the healing hurts more than the wound.” (Unknown)
Or, as my mother used to say, “Surgery hurts but it can also cure.” Amen.
1. Do Some Grief-Themed Meditations
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Meditation is something that we’re always gonna back over on this side of the internet because science gives us far too many reasons to. Over the years, research has proven that meditation reduces stress and anxiety, promotes self-awareness and a higher sense of self-worth and it can help you to become more compassionate while improving your quality of rest.
And when it comes to grief, specifically, by getting still enough to feel what you are going through (whatever stage of grief it may be), it can help you to understand what your present needs are, it can encourage you to be kinder and more patient with yourself and it can also reduce your chances of falling into depression. If you would like to tap into this more, check out Mindful’s “A 12-Minute Meditation for Grief and Loss” or go to YouTube and put “grief meditations” in the search field.
2. Use Essential Oils (That Make the Grieving Process Easier)
At this point, I’m really starting to wonder if there is anything that essential oils can’t do. I say that because, over the years, I’ve written articles like, “8 Essential Oils That Will Manifest (More Of) Your Feminine Energy” and “You'd Be Amazed How Much These 10 Essential Oils Can Give You Some Blissful Sleep” — and, believe it or not, there are even oils that can help to bring ease and comfort during the grieving process.
Some of those include lavender (it decreases anxiety); chamomile (it helps to balance your moods); sandalwood (it calms your senses); jasmine (it cultivates peace), and rosemary (it reduces your cortisol levels which basically means that it reduces stress).
To get the most out of these oils, you can either apply them to one of your pressure points, put them into a diffuser and add a couple of drops to your bedding for a more restful night’s sleep.
3. Spend More Time in Nature
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There is a chapter in the Bible that says there is a time and season for everything. If you read Ecclesiastes 3 all the way through, you will notice that there are times for death, crying, mourning and losing — it’s all a part of life. And perhaps the reason why nature can help us to get through those things is because it literally goes through seasons of transition; it’s not summer all of the time and it’s not winter all of the time either.
Aside from the “poetic” insights that nature can provide, the American Psychological Association says that doing something as simple as taking a walk outdoors can lower your stress levels, help you to feel happier and it can boost your cognitive abilities. In fact, if you want to bring some nature indoors, plants have a way of also reducing your stress levels and making you physically feel better (since they help to keep indoor pollution down to a minimum).
4. Limit Your Alcohol Intake
It’s not uncommon that, when some people are going through certain stages of grief, they will drink alcohol more often than they usually do. The challenge with that is, although it may feel like an initial stimulant, it’s actually a depressant; this means that it can slow down your brain and make you feel calm at first while also blurring your vision, impairing your judgment and causing you to feel disoriented in the process.
The roller coaster ride of what alcohol can do is why it’s not a good idea to consume a lot of it if you are going through an intense grieving process. Because here’s the thing — it’s not as difficult to develop a dependency on alcohol as you might think; especially if you have a family history of alcoholism or you’ve relied on it as a way to cope with stress or pressures in the past.
5. Up Your Vitamin B, C and Magnesium Doses
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It’s pretty understandable that while you are grieving, you may not have much of an appetite; that’s why it’s important to take supplements in order to get certain nutrients into your system. For instance, B-vitamins help to reduce stress, anxiety and feelings related to depression; vitamin C will strengthen your immunity (because the last thing that you want to be is sick when you’re grieving) and, to keep your cortisol (stress hormone) levels in check, magnesium will help to stabilize your moods.
By the way — foods that are high in “B” include spinach, eggs and beef; foods that are filled with Vitamin C include citrus fruit, berries and yellow peppers, and foods that are packed with magnesium include whole grains, avocados and cashews.
6. Get More Hugs
Not too long ago, I stumbled across an article entitled, “A Hug Only Takes 10 Seconds, Yet the Benefits Last Forever” and it really is true. For one thing, hugs are a physical expression of sympathy, compassion and even empathy — and all of that can help to decrease your stress levels, reduce feelings of fear (yes, literally) and lower experiences of (mild) physical pain and discomfort that you might have. Also, hugs can make it easier for you to express whatever you may be currently going through to other people.
In fact, some therapists say that we need multiple hugs a day, whether we are feeling low/need an extra layer of support or not. How many exactly? Popular therapist Virginia Satir believes this: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” So, even if you think that you don’t feel like receiving physical affection, be open to it. A hug can do what all of these other tips simply…can’t.
7. Make Plans for Special Days (That Are Connected to Your Grief)
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Ask anyone who has lost someone close to them (whether it was through death, a break-up or life-altering transition of a relationship…of any kind) and they will probably tell you that holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are oftentimes the hardest days to get through. To this, I say, make a point to do something special — whether grand or small — on those days instead of dreading them.
When it comes to my late fiancé, he will have been gone 30 years this November 3. Every year, I will get his favorite Checker’s meal (that man ate Checker’s and pizza more than anything else; it was wild!) and listen to some of his favorite music (The Roots, Biggie, D’Angelo, Faith Evans and Groove Theory…for starters; he used to intern where he would get early releases of things and it was awesome). It always puts a smile on my face to do so because it reminds me that love doesn’t die…it shifts forms.
8. Try a Grief Journal and/or Grief Therapy
So, here’s the thing about journaling — if writing isn’t really your thing (or grieving currently has you feeling pretty close to exhausted most of the time), you can always pull out your phone and record some voice notes. Just remember that there is plenty of research which supports that journaling (of any kind) can help to relieve anxiety, reduce stress and help you to face whatever you are feeling head-on. A bonus? If you journal consistently, it can help you to document the progress that you are making through your feelings and stages of grieving.
The same thing can be said for grief therapy; especially since grief therapists/counselors/life coaches are trained to help you get through whatever season of grief that you might be going through.
And what are some clear indicators that you might need some extra assistance with your grief? You are experiencing suicidal ideations. You seem “stuck” in a stage (especially if it is sadness or anger). You don’t have any reliable support (meaning, you feel like you are dealing with everything that you are going through on your own). You are participating in (potentially) destructive habits or acts of self-sabotage. Your grief is affecting your quality of life (long-term). If any of these apply, please let someone know. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Again, grief comes to us all.
9. Add More “Comfort” to Your Bedding
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Personally, I’m a believer when it comes to color psychology (check out “Understanding Color Psychology Will Sharpen Your Lens On Life” and “This Is How Color Psychology Can Significantly Improve Your Sex Life”) and that is why I definitely think that when you are going through the grieving process, you should consider upgrading/updating your bedding. Since sleep is probably already a challenge for you (because grief elevates stress and stress is tied to restlessness and insomnia), sometimes a change of scenery in your bedroom can feel comforting.
First up, go with colors that cultivate feelings of happiness and security like shades of blue, orange, pink, yellow and green. Invest in a(nother) down or down alternative comforter. Surround yourself with, what I call “stuffed animals for adults” — tons of pillows; they can provide comfort and a sense of protection at night. You need to feel nuzzled in comfort at night — new bedding can help to make that happen.
10. Put Yourself on a Sleep Schedule
As you’re going through the various stages of grief (sometimes more than once), I actually read before that an acute level of it can take somewhere around a year before you settle into a new normal. During that time, your heart rate might randomly speed up, you may experience joint discomfort and headaches, concentrating could prove to be challenging, you might catch colds quicker and easier — and yes, all of this can lead to really struggling with getting to sleep.
Something that can help with this is putting yourself on a sleep schedule. By creating (and maintaining) a sleep schedule for yourself, that can place your circadian rhythm (the 24-hour cycle that helps you to get the kind of sleep that you need) into a routine that can make it easier for you to not only fall asleep but stay asleep — and the more rest you have, the easier it will be to face the grief cycles that you are going through. For other tips on how to get the quality of sleep that you both need and deserve, check out “These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night’s Rest So Much Easier.”
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Artist Yumi Sakugawa once said, “Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.” When you’re walking through grief, please take this especially to heart.
And listen, if you apply even one of these tips to your breathing, pat yourself on the back. You are showing signs of wanting to get through the grief — and that makes you stronger than you will ever know.
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