“Why are you leaving your job?”
This is a question that I have heard countless of times in interviews, and as a hiring manager, I am guilty of asking that question too. Hiring managers like myself are naturally curious people so we want the tea on why you are leaving so that we can make the best hiring decision on our end. If your answer gives us the signal that you are leaving on a negative note, then that will definitely be something we consider when deciding upon hiring you - remember, no one wants to hire a Negative Nancy.
When you are asked this question, I know you would rather respond by saying things such as:
“My pay is crappy and I need more money.”
“I can’t stand my boss and my hand is itching to slap her every day.”
“I’m bored at work and Snapchat isn’t that much fun anymore.”
However, responses like that in an interview will get you nowhere. Even more, responding like that will get you an unexpected end to your interview and probably not even a courtesy, automated rejection email.
When I left my last job, I left because of a scheduling conflict. I had dreams of going back to school and the hours that I worked wouldn't allow me to pursue my dream. Instead of saying that I couldn't work the hours or I didn't like the schedule, I said this in my interviews,
"Recently I have decided to further my education in graduate school to earn my MBA. This MBA will be valuable to my professional development and for any organization that I am apart of. With my current employer, I work on the weekends, which prevents me from attending classes on Saturday. For this reason, I am looking for a new company with flexible a more flexible weekend schedule."
In interviews when the hiring manager asks you this question, instead of being brutally honest, use my examples below for a more softer and respectful answer. As my mom has always told me, “It’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it.”
You can’t stand your boss and wouldn’t flinch if she burned in hell
I’ve been in a position where I hated my boss. Honestly, I’m not sure if "hate" is even the best word to describe how I genuinely felt. If you dislike your boss and think that he or she is the worst, I’m sure you are itching to get away from them.
Nonetheless, walking into an interview and bad-mouthing your boss will not get you the job. If this is your reason for leaving, try saying this:
“Recently, I realized that the energy and goals with the leadership team is different from my own goals and values. I am looking for a company that can better match my own values and interests. Taking the direction to leave my job is a hard decision because I love the mission of my company, but I think it is only right that I do what is best for me and my professional development.”
You are tired of getting low pay and want more money
It is nothing more insulting than to work hard for someone and not see the monetary benefits. While you are spending most of your time and energy at work, you want to be properly compensated for it. The average American feels as if he or she gets paid less for what they do. If you feel the same way and want to leave your job, communicate this to the hiring manager by saying:
“While at my company, I have learned “X” amount of skills and have developed a substantial amount of knowledge in “X” areas. While I have learned a great deal, I am looking to join a company that can bring more value to my newly developed skill set and yearning to excel in my job."
Your job doesn’t want to promote you so are looking for a company that will
It is the worst to feel stagnant in your career and like you are going no where. Normally when you have increased your skill set and have become better in your area of expertise, you want to be promoted. Yes, you want more money, but you also want more responsibilities and want to be recognized for what you know. If this is your reason for leaving, try telling the hiring manager,
“Although I love the people that I have worked with and my company, I have grown tremendously and I am ready for the next challenge in my career. Instead of being complacent, I am looking for a job that will challenge me and will continue to develop me.”
Your coworkers are messy and you cannot work with them
Petty Betty and Messy Ann are people that you don’t want in your life, but sadly in some way or another they become your coworkers. Working with people that love to gossip and bring drama can really take a toll on your work and energy. Instead of saying that your coworkers annoy you and that you are tired of the drama, try saying this:
“I am looking for a place where my values and work goals are mutual. While I love the mission of my company, I feel that I am in a different place with the team that I work with. As a result, I am looking for a company culture that better suits me.”
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You work a ton of hours and want more time to have fun and hang with friends
With all of the hours that you put in at work, it is hard to turn up on a Tuesday or have a little Sunday Funday loaded with mimosas. You are tired of being overworked and not having a real work and life balance. Being able to spend time with family and friends is very important for your well-being and you understand this. In order to communicate this effectively to the hiring manager, say something like this:
“For me, having work and life balance is very important. In my current position, I am not able to achieve the balance that I desire and I would like to find a position where I can achieve, focus on work, and spend much needed time with my loved ones.”
Your job isn’t teaching you the skills that you want and your are bored at work
I’ve had a job where I literally just scrolled on Facebook and pinned cute outfits and yummy recipes because I was bored at work. When you are working at a company that isn’t developing you, you become bored, and one thing leads to another and you are Snapchatting at work. If this is you, communicate this to the hiring manager by saying:
“While I enjoy working at my company, I am looking to develop as an “X” professional and I think I can get this from your company after reading more about your company. Outside of work, I have done research on how to become a better person in my career field, but I know if I found a company where I could do the work on a daily basis, I would benefit tremendously (and so would the company)."
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If you didn’t notice by now, all of the responses above have one thing in common: positivity is key. No matter what the reason is on why you are leaving your current job, remain positive and demonstrate this in your response and tone.
If you have any additional advice on answering the aforementioned questions, drop a comment below and let us know!
Get more career tips and tricks by visiting our xo Business section!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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