Yoni Investments: 4 Standards Your Sex Toys Should Meet
Did you masturbate today?
This is my girlfriend's greeting for me almost every time she enters my home (because any other greeting would be in poor taste).
And because I sleep with my favorite vibrator under my pillow (small but mighty), the answer is always a solid "yes."
Arousal and pleasure achieved through masturbation is pertinent to maintaining our sexual health. Nonetheless, safe sex (equally pertinent) is always better and still applies when you're sexing yourself. That said, before going rabid with your favorite rabbit, bullet, or whatever you're packing, let's go deeper to understand what this mean. Really, it's simple:
Stop. Being. Cheap.
It can be all too easy to simply request the most powerful, inexpensive toy in the building. However, pleasure is not a luxury but a necessity. With that said, we should invest in our sex toys with the same candor and care that we invest in our bundles, flattering jeans, and time spent teaching ourselves how to please others.
However, bear in mind that your orgasm can only be bought to an extent, as the amount of money you spend on a toy holds little proof of pleasure. Take it from someone who has tested some of the prettiest, priciest, and somehow reputable sex toys (I suppose not everyone likes to be shooketh after masturbation). Conversely, there's certainly a reasonable starting price point that ensures you find a quality toy, and spoiler alert, it's probably not the bullets found in the fishbowl on top of the counter.
To aid you on your mission to investing in a quality sex toy, I've consulted with some of the most sought after sexperts to help you choose wisely.
1.Be Materialistic
Womanizer 2go Clitoral Stimulator in Chic Black Gold
When I say "be materialistic," I don't mean in the most literal sense but do be picky and research what your toys are made of. If you are what you eat, then you're probably also whatever enters the orifices of your body as well. Right?
Dr. Lenae Saint John, founder of the Mamasutra, recommends steering clear of any toys with a "harsh plastic smell," as she stresses the importance of quality materials. She explains that toys with this odor are presumably "off-gassing" and thus she doesn't want it near her body. Meaning you probably shouldn't either. "I won't purchase an item if it's not made with high quality medical grade silicone, for example. It feels very nice to touch and it's body-safe."
We also spoke with Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Astroglide's resident sexologist, to get her take on the material we should look for. Her recommendations include the "use [of] 100% silicone or borosilicate glass toys to reduce the risks associated with pores." She offers ABS plastic and stainless steel as additional options, adding that silicone and glass toys are examples of non-porous materials and only require soap and water for sanitizing.
Alex Fima, founder of the Velvet Co. pleasure collection, seconds the emphasis on silicone. "Body-safe silicone is best. Other materials can break or fray more easily. Cheap silicone will also gum up if used with a silicone-based lubricant," he writes.
However, should you continue to use toys with porous material including jelly, plastic, rubber, and PVC, Dr. O'Reilly recommends using a condom with these toys when possible due to the difficulty of conducting a deep clean, given their porosity. She notes: "Even if you clean the surface or purchase a so-called antibacterial sex toy cleaner, bacteria can live in the pores."
Want more stories like this? Check out these related xoNecole reads:
Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
It's A Vibe: The One Vibrator Every Woman Needs
So Your Man's Not Feeling Your Sex Toys, Here's How to Change That
I Became A Dominatrix To Reclaim My Power After An Abusive Relationship
Featured image by Getty Images
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images