Yara Shahidi Says The Only Way To Define Beauty Is To UN-Define It
Yara Shahidi is one of the most mutli-faceted, brilliant, and stunning young women that this generation has the opportunity to experience. From top to bottom, Black-ish to Grown-ish, acting to Harvard, Shahidi has remained who she is to the core, exuding the values that her parents instilled in her from birth. She doesn't sway from who she is, she's not into the chaos of Hollywood. And she stands firm to her goals, making her one of this generation's leading vocal ambassadors.
Vogue, who Shahidi has been featured in numerous times, took a trip to her house to learn more about her, via their popular series 73 Questions With..., which has also spotlighted some of our faves like Lizzo, Zendaya, and Michael B. Jordan.
They quizzed her on some of the most pressing questions, such as:
First person you spoke to [today]?
Are you more into lyrics or music?
You've been an actress since 6 weeks old?
Do you believe in 'love at first sight'?
And they even addressed the rumor of whether or not she has a tattoo inspired by Frank Ocean (btw the answer is yes and no, she got some because of him). But what stuck out most, was the question, "How would you define beauty?" She responded with a resounding:
"I try and un-define it, which may sound super broad, but that's the point because everything is to be beautiful."
Which got us to thinking, is she right? I mean, what is beauty really? I couldn't help but to dig in the archives and see how Yara has approached "beauty" with her platform in the past. So here's a list of the ways she has publicly crushed beauty standards throughout her career:
Yara posted a makeup-free selfie where she embraced her blemishes.
Imperfection is beauty and a part of redefining beauty by undefinining it is accepting the skin you're in in all states and all ways. While Yara has been known to stunt on magazine covers and on red carpets with an epic face beat, it doesn't take away from moments where she is makeup-free and experiencing hella blemishes. It might challenge beauty standards, but it's a commitment she is trying to live by.
"I have to actively remind myself to not sweat the details (aka the blemishes) and reframe it as a reminder to make sure I'm taking care of myself."
She made a big 2020 New Year's Resolution.
For the new year, Shahidi posted a picture on her Instagram with the caption:
"We (My hair and I) are taking up more space as we enter 2020."
In the pic, she dons no make up and frizzy hair to match her large golden hoops, making the profound statement that she has arrived as she is, and she's unapologetic AF about it. Siren emojis surrounds her statement, driving the nail in.
Yara partnered with Essie to preach the importance of finding, and being, yourself
In 2018, Shahidi curated a partnership with Essie for National Nail Polish Day. And even then, at a young 18, she used her platform to express the importance of her generation being who they are. She told E! News:
"I've learned to look at beauty as a creative outlet. Use makeup to express yourself rather than to cover yourself. This is why I gravitate towards louder colors — there's that feeling of taking up creative space when you go bold."
Yara removed her mustache on the 'Gram (before the Emmys).
Yara got closer to all of us by uploading a video of her removing her all-too-real lady 'stache for the entire world to see. She hilariously continued to show the actual maintanence it takes to get ready, by following up with a glowing, no-makeup selfie, checking her teeth for food, and rocking braids and a natural look for the virtual show.
Yara posed natural and un-retouched on the cover of 'Harpers Bazaar'.
For the August 2019 cover of Harper's Bazaar, Shahidi opened up about how she's using fashion and beauty to make a difference. She told People:
"True beauty is being unique, experimenting, exploring, sometimes unsettling. True beauty is expansive, is happiness. True beauty is my unibrow! I think we have a tendency to materialize beauty, and connect it with product. You should do whatever makes you feel good, and we're addressing beauty as not something that's even attached to a product, but as something that's attached to this overall feeling of support and confidence which we all get from different things."
Spoken like a true beauty, un-defined.
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Featured image by Yara Shahidi/Instagram
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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