

Y'all. Y'ALL. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to get a humidifier (which is basically an electronic device that helps to put humidity into the air). The main reason why is because I read an article that said that COVID thrives in low humidity. I'll get into that in a second, though. Anyway, what I thought was going to be a quick trip up the street ended up being a day-long endeavor because I had to go to four different stores and all of them had inventory issues. Most said it was because of the labor shortage that's been happening all over the country.
So, before I get into the reasons why investing in a humidifier is quite possibly one of the smartest things that you can do this fall season, let me first say that there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace (like this one, this one and this one) that are warning that between labor issues, supply chain drama and yes, inventory nightmares, it would be best to purchase as much as you can as soon as you can. That way, once the holiday season does roll around, you can be cozied up in your house rather than frantically out in stores. Feel me?
That said, here are 10 reasons why I am sleeping better than ever (and I typically sleep pretty well), now that I have a humidifier running every night.
1. Moisturizes Your Skin
Something that I make sure I do before turning in every night is I put some rosemary oil on my face (and neck) and some shea butter on my lips. However, it never fails that while my skin ends up fairing pretty well, oftentimes my lips will be slightly chapped come morning. This hasn't been the case since I've been using my humidifier, though.
One reason why getting a humidifier for this time of year is such a good idea is, the colder it gets, the more we tend to rely on central heat. And the more central heat blows, the more the humidity level drops within the rooms of our house (oftentimes around 20-30 percent). That produces dry air that can wreak total havoc on our skin.
So, if you know that you naturally battle with dry skin anyway, first read "If Your Skin Stays Dry, No Matter What, Check This Out". Next, strongly consider purchasing a humidifier. Trust me, your skin (and lips) will totally thank you for it!
2. Conditions Your Hair
If your skin can get zapped of the moisture that it needs, you definitely know that your hair can be too, right? And here's the thing — when it's cold outside, that can cause your hair cuticles to lift and that can result in your hair becoming brittle which can ultimately lead to breakage. So, if you want to gain as many inches as possible between now and the spring season, having a humidifier can certainly help; especially if you're prone to not tying up your hair with a silk scarf or satin bonnet and/or you don't sleep on a satin pillowcase (hopefully, you do, though).
3. Soothes Headaches
Are you someone who suffers from headaches or even migraines? This is just one more reason why a humidifier could totally change your life for the better. Oftentimes, what causes this kind of discomfort is, when you're taking in dry air, that can dry out your mucus membranes. When that happens, they can end up becoming irritated and inflamed which can lead to painful head pressure. This reminds me — when you're looking at all of the humidifier options that are available, you might wonder if a cool mist or warm mist one is best.
While I personally prefer cool mist ones (they're more energy efficient, plus I like sleeping in a cooler space), you might wanna go the warm route, simply because it heats up the water, is able to kill more bacteria, can ease head pressure quicker and can help to warm up your room during the fall and winter seasons. If you do go with "B", just make sure to keep it away from young children or pets. Some humidifiers boil the water which could end up harming little ones and animals that don't know to stay away.
4. Clears Sinuses
It's not uncommon for people to have more bloody noses and/or sinus headaches around this time of year, especially if that's something that they experience from time to time anyway. A humidifier can assist with this as well because not only does extra humidity help to soothe your sinuses passages and reduce bloody noses (which typically happens as the result of overexposure to dry air), it can also help to clear up congestion. And the less pressure you feel, the easier it will be to breathe in the day and sleep at night.
5. Protects Your Throat
If your nasal passages and sinuses require moisture, it would make sense that your throat would too, right? Plus, if there's bacteria that's in your bedroom, a humidifier could help to keep it under control, so that your sore throat doesn't get worse over time.
A cool hack as far as this is concerned is to get a humidifier that also works as an essential oil diffuser. That way, you can put some oils into the humidifier that help to ease a sore throat. Some of those include the anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties of lavender; the antibacterial compounds of peppermint; the antioxidant properties of bitter orange; the antimicrobial of lemon and the anti-inflammatory properties of ginger.
6. Eases Cold and Flu Symptoms
It does need to go on record that if you happen to have asthma or really bad allergies, you should probably speak with your doctor before getting a humidifier. The reason why is because sometimes higher humidity levels can trigger symptoms associated with either issue. Still, if you're trying to get a leg up on the cold and flu season, a humidifier can certainly help you out. I actually checked out a study that said low humidity levels can actually help the viruses that cause colds and the flu to not only thrive but last longer.
This means that, say you share your bed with someone and they've got a cold or they're coming down with the flu. Keeping a humidifier close by can actually reduce your chances of getting sick because in high humidity, viruses have a harder chance to survive. This actually brings me to another super valid point.
7. Fights Against the COVID Virus
Since so many folks out here don't wanna wear masks (lawd), one of the main reasons why I thought it was essential to get a humidifier this year is because I read several articles about how COVID also really enjoys low humidity. So, when you factor in central heat and then add to it stuff like lots of cooking and maybe even a fireplace — whew! It's like a customized party for COVID. So, whether you're vaccinated or not, out of all of the reasons on here to have a humidifier in your home, please take this one to heart. If you're wondering which humidifiers would be best for achieving this particular goal, there's a pretty thorough list that you can check out here.
8. Lubricates Your Vocal Cords
If you or someone who you know happens to sing, host a podcast or do something else that requires a constant use of vocal cords, you might want to gift yourself or them with a humidifier this year.
9. Helps to Prevent Snoring
So, here's the thing about snoring. Being overweight (because it leads to extra tissue in the back of the throat), consuming alcohol (because it relaxes throat muscles), nasal congestion and even sleeping on your back (because it narrows your airways) are all things that can trigger a snore fest. And while dry air isn't another cause, there is no way around the fact that it can certainly make the sound of snoring a heck of a lot worse.
Not only that but since dry air usually has allergens floating around, the extra humidity in your bedroom that comes from a humidifier can keep allergens on the floor, so that they don't irritate your nose which could cause you to open your mouth to breathe easier which could also lead to more or louder snoring (funny how all of that works, huh?).
10. Improves Your Quality of Sleep
It's been reported that a whopping 50-70 million Americans have some sort of sleep issue. And y'all, that ain't good. If you happen to be one of them, a humidifier can assist with this too. Less snoring aside, sleeping with a higher level of humidity oftentimes makes your bedroom feel more comfortable which makes your body feel more comfortable which makes it easier for you to fall and stay asleep.
The Potential Disadvantages of Using a Humidifier
So, with all of the praise that I've just given these bad boys, do humidifiers come with any challenges? Good question. All a humidifier does is turn the water inside of it into mist; this means that if the water is dirty, you're taking that in. That's why you need to clean your humidifier, just the way the manufacturer recommends and, if it comes with a filter, you should change it regularly.
Another point to consider is too much of a good thing could backfire, humidity included. When you've got too much humidity around you, that can lead to mold or mildew (which is why they shouldn't be blowing directly on your walls or sitting on the carpet without something underneath).
Also, unfiltered water tends to have minerals that might be too much for your system if you're constantly breathing them in. So, filling up your humidifier with a faucet that has a filter on it, boiling the water first or using distilled water is probably best. But if you keep all of this in mind, I don't know how you could regret investing in a humidifier. I know I don't. Not one freakin' bit.
For more wellness, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
As Told To: 'I Spent $10K On A Dating Coach & Now I’m Married To The Love Of My Life'
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Shirley Williams' story as told to Sheriden Chanel.
When I decided to become the CEO of my love life, it cost me over $10K.
Trust, sharing that choice online came with a lot of opinions I didn’t ask for. $10K on a dating coach? Yeah, I did that. And less than two years later, I’m married to the man I prayed for. So if you’re wondering about the ROI... let’s just say it paid off in full.
But before all that, let me take you back to how this journey really began.
When I resolved to walk away from my 13-year relationship, admittedly, I wasn’t thinking about dating at all. My ex was a good man. He was kind, he was cool, but I knew he wasn’t my man. God knew that, too, even before I did.
We had reached a fork in the road: I was growing deeper in my faith, wanting to center God in every part of my life, including my purpose. He was walking a different path, and we were no longer aligned. Turns out, you can spend 13 years with someone and still be emotionally malnourished.
As our relationship came to its end, I learned that longevity isn’t proof of alignment. I learned that a man being “good” isn’t enough. A man can be kind but not called to walk beside you in your purpose. That being unclear about your values will always cost you time.
And delaying your desires in the name of comfort? That’ll cost you even more. I knew I never wanted to make that mistake again.
Still, even knowing it was right to let him go, walking away felt like mourning a death. I dated casually after that: flings and situationships here and there. But they took more than they gave. I was left depleted more than fulfilled, so I made a conscious decision to stop dating altogether.
Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with a brain injury that left her unable to form short-term memories. My sister and I became her caregivers along with my dad. But just as I got her stabilized, my father was diagnosed with blood cancer. At one point, he was bedridden.
So no, I wasn’t thinking about love. I was thinking about survival.
For two years, I didn’t give out my number. Didn’t go on a single date. I was tired, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not just from dating. From everything.
Those two years weren’t about fear, they were about focus. I was caregiving, grieving, and building a startup from the ground up. I had nothing left to give romantically. So when my birthday came around in September 2023, I knew I needed stillness to replenish what I had lost.
I went to Joshua Tree alone, I booked a tiny home in the middle of the desert, and I told myself: “I’m going to be still.” For five days, I read, prayed, fasted, and listened to jazz and classical music. No distractions.
Courtesy of Shirley Vernae
On the drive back to LAX, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t unsee it: I had invested in every other area of my life, except my love life. I realized then that my love life deserved a strategy, too.
So, I did what I always do when I want to grow in an area: I found someone wiser. I found an expert who could guide me in the form of a dating coach, and I hired him. Because love is too sacred to leave to chance. And I was finally ready to build it on purpose.
To some, hiring a dating coach might’ve looked like desperation. But desperation doesn’t look like pausing for two years, it looks like settling for crumbs and calling it a meal. You’ll mistake attention for affection, and chaos for chemistry. Desperation doesn’t discern. It just consumes.
That wasn’t me. Not only was I not desperate, but I was a little too comfortable being single.
I didn’t invest $10K+ in a dating coach because I was desperate. I invested because I was done repeating old patterns. Strategy is getting honest about your desire and then building a pathway toward it with clarity, with guidance, and with God.
I had invested in every other area of my life, my business, my health, and my growth. Why would my love life be the one place I left to chance?
So no, I wasn’t desperate. I was ready. Ready to stop guessing. Ready to stop wasting time. Ready to become the kind of woman who could receive the kind of love I prayed for.
But before I could become her, I had to face the parts of me still holding on to old beliefs.
When I walked away from that relationship and got into therapy, everything shifted. My therapist helped me unpack my wounds, my conditioning, and the patterns I couldn’t see on my own. And when the fog cleared, I was 100% sure: God had given me this desire. And I was not going to let doubt, distraction, or misalignment steal it from me.
This wasn’t just about having a plan, it was about being in divine alignment.
Between 2023 and now, I’ve invested close to $12,000 in coaching. I joined Anwar White’s Get Your Guy program in October 2023. The program was $7,500 over six months—that’s $1,250 a month, less than some people spend on luxury items they’ll outgrow. And for me? It made perfect sense.
After starting the program, I met my now-husband that December. We became official in spring 2024, and he proposed in January 2025.
But the real shift wasn’t him. It was me. I no longer chased anything—not men, not clients, not friendships. I stopped striving and started trusting. I started existing, and I let what was aligned come to me.
And when he came, he came steady. Consistent. Intentional. Reliable. Joyful. He was deeply committed to my happiness before anything else. He doesn’t move unless it’s with care for my heart.
With him, there is no performance. No eggshells. No pressure. Just alignment.
We walk together, in purpose. I now have a partner who is in service to me, not in competition with me. A partner who lightens my load. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He helps me think. Helps me build. Helps me breathe. He makes my life easier, and that is something I had never experienced before.
I still reinvest in my love life by continuing to work with Anwar. His programs have taken me from dating, to courting, to exclusivity, to engaged, and now to being married. Because each of those phases required a new version of me. Because I had never been here before.
@shirleyvernae I hadn’t been on a single date in 2 years. Met my fiancé last year and got engaged 2 months ago. You’re the CEO of your love life. It’s time to act like it ❤️ # CEO ##Fiancé##Engaged##Relationships##Dating##Engagement
Through Anwar’s program, I was gifted the most pivotal mindset shift of them all:
That love doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. And that’s my new standard.
One of the most powerful things Anwar said to me was, “You can’t do the wrong thing to the right guy.” And that truth set me free.
Before working with him, I thought love had to be proved. Performed. Earned. I thought I had to be perfect. Healed. Small enough to fit into someone else’s version of love. But that was never true.
There are men who are devoted to creating ease in your life. Men who see your softness as strength and your boundaries as beauty.
My now-husband, Ty, is one of them. He is steady. He is consistent. And no matter how much I struggled, no matter how I tried to self-sabotage, he stayed anchored in one mission: to bring ease, to bring peace, to bring safety.
So the shift? I stopped performing. I started discerning. I raised my standards. I stopped doubting. And I let myself be held.
Yeah, the biggest shift was realizing I am worthy of love that doesn’t come with chaos. Love that’s safe. Love that’s solid. Love that’s soft.
That’s what happens when you stop settling and start showing up with faith, clarity, and strategy. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of your love life.
Being the CEO of my love life meant I stopped outsourcing it to luck, fate, or vibes. I no longer left it up to chance or timing, or wishful thinking. Just like I build businesses with vision, strategy, and intentional partnerships, I built a love life that reflects those same values.
A good CEO doesn’t try to do it all alone. A good CEO casts vision, brings the right experts to the table, delegates with wisdom, and trusts the process. That’s exactly how I approached love. I partnered with God. I partnered with mentors. I aligned my actions with my desires. That’s not control, that’s stewardship. And that’s what changed everything.
I knew sharing my journey online was going to stir something up. And it did. Some people were inspired. Some were uncomfortable. But their discomfort wasn’t about me. It was about what my story confronted in them: scarcity, shame, old beliefs about what’s “worth it” and what’s not.
And I’m okay with that. I’m not here to be liked. I’m here to be aligned. That’s my assignment.
To the woman who’s feeling discouraged, let me say this: Time is a tool, don’t let it become your tormentor. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. Your desire for love is not shameful, it’s sacred.
Don’t let what society says, what the media projects, or what a non-believer has spoken over you define what’s possible. The only thing that’s true is what God has said. And God has said, “All things are possible to him that believes.”
If you’re feeling stuck, let that be your invitation to do something different. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Get support. Find a coach, a mentor, a couple you admire—not the shiny ones on social media, but the ones who’ve walked through fire and still chose each other.
Date with intention. Choose love on purpose. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is never too late to receive it. There is strength in being seen, supported, and walking in purpose together.
And for my Black women especially, softness is your superpower. Discernment is your birthright. You are the prizeand the picker. Dating with intention isn’t about being aggressive, it’s about being aligned.
We are not desperate. We are divine. Even in your healing, even in your becoming, know this: you can never do the wrong thing to the right guy.
And the right guy? He’ll meet you right there: in your wholeness, and in your work-in-progress.
To keep up with Shirley Vernae Williams and her journey as a storyteller, producer, and love life CEO, follow her on Instagram @shirleyvernae and learn more about her work at williebstudios.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shirley Vernae