

They say that with age comes wisdom. Hopefully, that is indeed the case; however, what I do know is definitely happening is, the older I get, the more I am looking for knowledge about things that I used to either not care about enough or I totally took for granted — and if I’m being truthful with myself, it was probably some of column A and some of column B.
Take fluids that come out of our vagina (check out “Vaginal Discharge. Arousal Fluid. Cervical Mucus. What's The Difference?”), for example. It wasn’t until perimenopause that I even gave that topic a second thought, and it was because, quite frankly, more was coming out than had in times past, and I wanted to understand why. And then there’s my belly. Chile…CHILE.
As someone who had a natural six-pack for years (upon years), I definitely had to do some research to learn the difference between belly fat, what is known as a menopause belly (check out “'Menopause Belly' Actually Is A Real Thing. Here's How To Handle It.”) and what we are going to tackle today: bloating.
Since I’m not the biggest water fan in the world, I’ve discovered that whenever I have more of a bulge than I would like, most of it has to do with what I drink more than probably anything else — yet I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself.
If, like me, you want a tighter tummy, and so you want to figure out what is standing in your way, here is why it could be all about the “bloat” — and what you can do about it if that is indeed the case.
What Does It Mean When You’re Bloated?
Let’s start with what it even means to feel or be bloated. If your stomach happens to feel full, tight or like there’s some pressure going on, there is a good chance that you’re bloated — how it feels can range from mildly uncomfortable to straight up painful, and how it looks can range from a barely there bulge to almost looking like you are pregnant.
As far as what causes bloating, there are several things. Intestinal gas can cause bloating. Hormonal fluctuations can cause bloating (which is why it’s not uncommon to be bloated right before your period). Being constipated can lead to bloating. Stomach inflammation, certain types of infections, and even cancer can cause bloating.
However, one of the biggest bloating culprits is food — sometimes it’s the type of food that you consume, other times it’s because you are eating something that you low-key have an intolerance to, or it can even be because you are eating (or drinking) something too fast.
The main things to keep in mind when it comes to bloating are if it’s hormonal or diet-related, things should subside in a few hours or days at the most. If you’re bloated due to constipation, things probably won’t change until you’ve had a few full (meaning complete) bowel movements. Do keep in mind that if your bloating doesn’t seem to go away, and you’re especially not feeling well to boot, you should see your doctor, just to make sure that there aren’t any underlying health issues going on.
What’s the Difference Between Bloating and Belly Fat?
Okay, but how can you know if your tummy is “rounded out” due to bloating or actual weight gain? Good question. The most important thing to remember here is that, more times than not, bloating is a temporary issue, while fat that accumulates around your abdominal region is not. That said, it’s important to also keep in mind that when your body is merely bloated, you’re probably only going to notice a change in your tummy (as opposed to weight gain being something that transpires all over your body).
Some other things to take note of when it comes to bloating vs. belly fat are that bloating will feel tight, while fat will feel soft. Not only that, but bloating typically comes with some level of discomfort, which isn’t usually the case with abdominal fat (unless you’re dealing with excessive visceral fat or you’ve got some other health-related issues that are transpiring as a direct result of the weight gain).
5 Foods That Cause Bloating
Aight, so remember how I mentioned earlier that a main cause of bloating tends to be gas, most specifically, intestinal gas? That’s because when the bacteria that is in your gut are trying to break down certain foods (like carbs), that process is called fermentation. When too much of that is going on, it can create gas, which can cause bloating.
And what are some of the foods that can “trigger” this?
1. Cruciferous vegetables. Foods like broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower all fall into the cruciferous category. The reason why they can lead to bloating is that they contain a sugar known as raffinose that our bodies actually don’t have the enzymes to naturally digest. As a direct result, these foods bypass your small intestines in order to be processed in your large intestine, which can ultimately lead to gas and bloating.
2. Garlic and onions. I’m putting these two in the same category, simply because they tend to be two foods that are used to bring flavor to meals. While I can personally rock with garlic pretty well, something that my body is absolutely not interested in is an onion. And yes, both of these can also lead to bloating because they contain sugar carbohydrates known as fructans, which can also lead to gas and bloating (especially if you have a fructan intolerance, which consists of symptoms like burping, constipation, and passing gas).
3. Carbonated drinks. This is where I get jacked up. Since plain water bores me to tears, I tend to drink a lot of sparkling water, and drinks that are carbonated tend to be infused with carbon dioxide gas, and gas, as you already know, can definitely lead to bloating. I am a witness.
4. Dairy. Right out the gate, most of the people who are bloated from consuming dairy are because they are lactose intolerant. Thing about that is, close to 70 percent of folks fall into that category — whether they realize it or not. And what causes the intolerance? Well, there are sugars and cholesterol in dairy products that make it hard for you to fully digest your food. Besides, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times over: humans are the only ones who seem to consume other baby mammals’ milk. Perhaps therein lies the real issue/problem. #Elmoshrug
5. Apples. It might surprise you to see this fruit on the list. The backstory is that the combination of fructose and fiber that’s in apples could lead to a longer fermentation period in your intestines, and that is what might cause bloating whenever you eat them.
5 Things That You Can Do to Prevent Bloating (Beforehand)
Those five things that I just listed? That’s actually the tip of the iceberg when it comes to foods that can bring about a bloating spell (you can learn about more of ‘em here and here). And if those alone have you wondering if you can ever enjoy some of your favorite foods again, for the most part, the answer is “yes” — just make sure that you are intentional about incorporating the following five avoid-the-bloat tips.
1. Take a food allergy test. Just like many people have an intolerance to lactose and don’t know it, the same goes for food allergies. In fact, it’s been reported that somewhere around 33 million individuals are allergic to at least one food, and a symptom of that might be bloating. So, if bloating is something that you are constantly dealing with, taking a food allergy/sensitivity test is a really good idea.
2. Eat slowly. If it wasn’t your mom, it was probably your grandmother who told you that you should chew each bite of your food no less than 10-15 times before swallowing. While some reports say that it should actually be somewhere around 32 times, something else that you might want to keep in mind is that you should also wait before taking another bite. How long? Well, some medical experts say that if you’re basically going to swallow your bites of food whole, you should wait a whole ‘nother five minutes before eating some more. Oh, and try to talk and even drink less while you’re eating. Talking brings more air into your digestive system, and drinking can sometimes “confuse” the digestion process.
3. Consume less fatty foods. You’ve probably heard somewhere that trans and saturated fats can raise your cholesterol levels; however, did you know that they might cause bloating too? That’s because high-fat foods tend to slow down the digestion process, which could cause bloating and indigestion in the process.
4. Do some mild exercise after you eat. If you’re someone who enjoys taking a stroll after you eat, keep on doing that. Research reveals that when you participate in a mild form of exercise after eating, that can help to get gas out of your body, so that you don’t end up becoming bloated.
5. Chew less gum. After all that we’ve already discussed, I’m pretty sure that this point makes all the sense in the world. Chewing gum causes you to take air into your system, and the more air that’s in your body, the more likely you are to end up feeling bloated.
5 Hacks for Getting Rid of Bloating
And what if it’s too late? The bloating has already made an appearance, and you’re looking for some much-needed relief. While there are over-the-counter meds that you can take, there are other approaches that are (pretty much) just as effective.
1. Take a probiotic. Although it is indeed true that when you first take a probiotic (especially if you take one with tons of different strains of bacteria in it), that can lead to bloating, once your body gets used to them being in your system, they can actually significantly improve your digestive process which can decrease your bloating instances too.
2. Limit your salt intake. A part of the reason why you tend to notice bloating when you’re PMS’ing or when you’re on your cycle is because the hormonal changes that you’re going through can cause water retention. Something else that causes water retention? Yep. Salt. So, if eating a lot of it is totally your thing and you know that you’ve got some bloating going on, there’s a pretty good chance that there is a direct correlation between the two. #sorry
3. Drink herbal tea. If you’re currently bloated, something that can help to immediately soothe your stomach is herbal tea — more specifically, ginger, peppermint and chamomile teas. The properties in all of these will help to ease the digestive process while reducing bloating and discomfort in the process.
4. Apply some heat. Just like the heat from warm tea can help your tummy to feel better and reduce the appearance of bloating, so can a heating pad. The reason why is that heat can help to relax your abdominal muscles, so that your food can be digested faster and more effectively.
5. Give yourself a massage. And lastly, how about an abdominal massage? Whether you need to get rid of some discomfort or remove some of the air that is causing the bloating to be apparent, applying pressure to your abdominal region can help with both of these issues. For tips on how to give yourself a highly beneficial abdominal massage, check out this video here.
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A bloated stomach is something that none of us really wants. Thankfully, there are some fairly simple things that you can do to reduce the bloat, so that you can get your tummy back on track. And how awesome is that?
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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Meet Kiara Walker: The Bold New Voice Giving Men A Safe Space To Be Real On ‘xoMAN’
Kiara Walker was born to entertain. Her childhood experiences helped shape her destiny as a media personality, and now she’s taking her talents to xoNecole.
A Dallas, Texas native and Atlanta transplant, Walker will host the newest Will Packer Media and xoNecole production, xoMAN podcast. This fresh podcast series provides a platform for authentic and transformative conversations that bridge the gap between the introspection men crave and their real-life experiences.
xoMAN started as an Instagram Live series and is now a full-cast production, with Walker as the host. Initially, she was skeptical about joining as the new host of xoMan. Not because she doesn’t have the chops to thrive in the role, but because coming in on something that wasn’t her original idea initially seemed daunting for the media personality.
However, since she loves a challenge, the CockTales: Dirty Discussionspodcast host embraced the task with an open heart and mind.
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“I was like, this is a cool concept, so I’m so glad that they decided to turn it into a podcast,” Walker tells xoNecole. “It’s been interesting to take somebody else’s idea and try to turn it into a thing, put it together, and bring it to fruition. I am anxious, nervous, and all things, but above all, I’m excited.”
When xoNecole's managing editor Sheriden Garrett approached Walker to take on the position, it felt like fate. She had previously attempted to get Garrett on her CockTales platform about six or seven years ago due to her expertise in the love and relationship space.
“I was like, wait, y’all listen to the show? And you want me to host a show where I’m only talking to men? And I’m listening to them and not giving them a hard time? I say that because sometimes I feel like, on my show, I may come off like I don’t even like men," she says.
"I love men, but it can be frustrating sometimes on that platform, social media, and other places when they continue to regurgitate the same rhetoric about what I like to call Twitter topics, like constantly talking about who’s paying as a man, as a woman. You should do this. You should do that…It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
A Howard graduate, Walker almost didn’t enter the world of media after listening to advice from elders who said she would make a great lawyer because she loves to debate topics and sometimes argue (haha).
"It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
After traveling to the nation’s capital to study political science, Walker soon discovered that her only motivation for becoming an attorney was the potential income and witnessing how boss women like Erika Alexander’s Maxine Shaw character on Living Single would look in their suits as career women.
“I realized that this was for real,” she says, studying law at Howard. “This is a lot of work, and when you think about what you do, I was like, this is not a performance, and I just wanted to talk. I wasn’t trying to defend anyone.”
A visit to a fair showcasing the different organizations on Howard’s campus, combined with her affinity for celebrity gossip and entertainment news, ultimately led Walker to explore a radio career. Soon, she auditioned for a show and landed the gig. By the spring semester, she was on the radio, ultimately leading her to switch her major to journalism with a concentration in broadcast news.
Soon after earning her degree in the field, Walker decided she didn’t want to do anything related to hard news. Instead, she became involved in lifestyle content. She used her friends' love of hearing her stories to motivate her to get into podcasting.
The rest is, as they say, history.
“Before podcasts became what they are, I was in a living room with a microphone before ultimately moving to a studio and refining the show. I loved it and knew people were listening because I monitored the analytics and everything," she explains.
"When we decided to do a live show, the show sold out in two weeks, and I was so nervous. I was like, 'Are we ready? Are we gonna be able to sell out this venue?' We didn’t have any sponsorship. We were still independent and had to front the money for everything.”
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“When they sold out in two weeks, not only did I price my tickets too low, but I thought, wow, we’ve got something. I was like, people spent money to hear me and my co-host talking about our shitty love lives. This is wild, all from an idea in my head. It made me feel like I was on the right path and encouraged me to stop doubting myself. I have imposter syndrome," she reveals.
"Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do. I love it. No matter how many sleepless nights I have, I will continue to have bags under my eyes until the end of time because I’m enjoying it.”
"I have imposter syndrome. Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do."
In between garnering a strong social media presence for her work as a podcast host, lifestyle influencer, and beyond, Walker has managed to use her many gifts and talents, like cooking, and most importantly, giving a strong opinion about the things she does (or doesn’t) believe in to carve out a lane of her own.
As she embarks on this chapter as the host of xoMAN, where she has already spoken with actors Devale Ellis and Skyh Black and Dear Future Wifey podcast host Laterras R. Whitfield, Walker hopes that it encourages people, especially women, to look at their male counterparts from a different perspective.
“I hope that anyone listening can listen to the first few episodes, hear how different each man is, and learn to let down whatever preconceived notions you have about me or a specific man, whoever it is in your life," she says. "Just listen, talk to them, ask them how they feel, and listen with an open mind, without thinking that you already know what the answer is.”
“I just hope that people learn to, again, not put people in boxes and make the other person, whoever it is, men specifically for this show, but sit down and talk with an open mind and listen to understand, not to respond. Help someone feel safe.”
xoMAN officially launches on Tuesday, June. 17.
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