As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where women are given a platform to tell their stories in the first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Arleevia Lyles's story, as told to London Alexaundria.
So we actually visited Morocco last year in September for about eight days for our honeymoon. We were visiting these three different cities, Tangier, Marrakesh, and Chefchaouen, and while we were here, my husband was kind of giggling to himself and was like, what would you say about us possibly moving here? He was joking about it, but I was like, yeah, no, I would definitely move here. And he didn't think that I was serious about it or that I would be on board for that.
But we were kind of toying with the idea of moving here, and so from that point on, when we came back to the US, we were like, you know what, let's actually make the move. Like, why not? We were weighing the pros and cons of moving abroad, and the pros outweighed the cons. We don't have any property in the US. At the time, we didn't have any kids.
We both worked remotely, so there was nothing really keeping us tied to the US in any way outside of family, obviously. That was the only real con. We were going to miss church as well since Morocco is a Muslim country and we're Christian. So those were the two things that were like, okay, we're going to miss it, but, we can operate without it for a while.
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So after we weighed the pros and cons, we started aligning everything in terms of logistics, like booking the flights, talking to our places of employment as well, because I did have to have a conversation with them to make sure that I could work outside of the US, and they were okay with it.
By the time we booked our ticket, we were not pregnant. Then, when we were in the process of moving from Nashville to Las Vegas because we did have to move back to my hometown to drop off some valuable stuff, that was when we found out that we were pregnant.
When we initially told our family that we were going to move abroad, it was like the beginning of 2024. So, one, we knew the election was looming, so we're like, you know what, this may be a good time to go. And our family was in support of it. When we found out that we were pregnant, there was a little bit of hesitancy and some pushback from a few relatives saying, maybe wait a little bit. Just have the baby in the States, and then once the child is one or two, then go abroad and all that stuff.
We were like, 'Hey, y'all, we're gonna still do this,' and so they were still supportive. And now that we're here, they're like, 'Oh yeah, you guys made the right move, for sure,' especially post-election day. We have been here two months [and] oh, man, it has been very relaxing.
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I thought it was going to be a stressful move. I think, in a way, we kind of overthought it. We were like, oh my goodness, I don't know. Our lives are just going to be turned upside down because we're in a different country, but that wasn't the case.
I feel like moving here has been even beneficial for me being pregnant because this country moves at such a slower pace, and there's a lot more leisure time, and they actually value spending time with one another and going slower, but still getting work done. And I think that that's helped me being able to have a stress-free pregnancy, which I value as a Black woman because I know there's a lot of different things that can factor in stress for us.
It's been a very eye-opening experience as well because we're just being exposed to a different culture. It's not entirely different. I don't think it's too much of a culture shock, but with it again, being a very Muslim country, there's different values that they have here, that the US doesn't particularly [such as] valuing family.
You'll see a lot of fathers with their children. In the US, you usually see a mom out with the baby, or the moms out with the kids. Here, it's like the fathers are taking care of the kids. They're playing with them. It's very, very different to see that.
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The food quality has been better to where I don't feel bloated or nauseous all the time after I eat, which has been very, very good for the baby. I'm eating a lot healthier. I don't feel like the food is tainted with all this GMO and all these different things, and also, it's just inexpensive as well.
We have eaten out every single day. We haven't cooked at all since we've moved, but, the food is so good to where I don't feel like I've eaten out. It's quality food, and the dollar has just gone a lot further here. Since we still do have our US jobs, we're earning US money. But for every dollar, there's 10 dirham (Moroccan money). So I feel like even that factor of finance has been stress-free, not thinking about inflation as much.
Overall, though, this experience has been great, and I think even for my husband, too; him working in finance and also having his US job. I think that there's been more balance for the both of us in making sure that we're not overworking ourselves versus in the US. [In the US,] there's kind of the grind culture; the grind don't stop.
But here they're like, no, we want you guys to work, but make sure that you're taking time for leisure. Make sure you're taking time for rest. And so we're doing just that, and I feel like we've both been more balanced in our work-life.
I feel like it's been really easy to get to know people here. We had a couple of people that we met the first time we traveled here during our honeymoon, including my cousin. So we were able to ask them for help or for different insights before we moved from the US here, but since being here, I feel like we've been able to get to know people through frequenting places. There's certain restaurants that we'll go to weekly, and they kind of know us, we know them, we'll chat. So that's been nice.
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I guess an issue is the language barrier because there are four different languages that they speak here. They speak French, Spanish, Arabic, and English. So it's difficult to have a full-on, in-depth dialog with people because they don't speak English that well.
But I think just the friendliness of the environment is still something that we're able to connect to. The lady that we're renting this apartment from, she went out of her way and made a Moroccan couscous, and we're thinking she's just going to bring it, knock on the door, and like, Here you go. Enjoy it in private. But she came in and sat with us and ate a meal with us. Just the warmth of this country and the people in general has just been exceptional, and it's so different than what we've experienced in the US.
[Regarding giving birth,] we were considering having the baby here because, one, it's inexpensive healthcare here. It wouldn't have been as much. It would have been, maybe, a couple of thousand [dollars]. But I have free healthcare in the US, and so my family's like, free is better than having to pay for something. Also, they want to be there to support during that birthing process in the first few months of the baby's life too.
That's our first child, my parents' first grandchild. So I was like, let me have the baby in the US so that we're closer to them, but we definitely considered having the child here. We're gonna go back in early January, and then we'll come back in the summer, around June. After she's had her shots and has her passport and everything, we'll move back here permanently.
For this first leg of the move, it was kind of just exploring the housing market, seeing what apartments looked like; houses, checking out the pricing and everything like that, and kind of just familiarizing ourselves. Hopefully, by the end of this trip, we can have a home to come back to when we do return to Morocco.
We don't necessarily have a set date or a set amount of years that we want to be in Morocco. I do know I don't want to move again for at least three to five years, ideally, because we literally have spent our entire marriage moving. Whether it be from a different apartment or to a new city, and so we kind of want to settle in and have stability, especially for when the baby comes. So ideally, it would be nice to stay here for three to five years.
If we were to move out of Morocco, we would probably move to a different country altogether. But I don't know that we want to necessarily return to the US permanently. Not yet, at least.
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Since turning 30, three years ago, I have been on a journey of self-improvement and healing. During this time, I've adopted daily practices like meditation, journaling, and speaking affirmations over my life. I also began reading spiritual and self-help books like The Alchemist and The Mountain Is You.
These tools have changed my life drastically as I have become more self-confident and developed more self-love. Lately, one of my go-to's for a spiritual boost is listening to podcasts. There are so many podcasts to choose from nowadays, and they aren't created equally.
However, if you're looking for a podcast that speaks to your soul and helps you in your personal development, then check out the 10 podcasts below.
Balanced Black Girl
Balanced Black Girl is a podcast focusing on personal development, self-care, and more. Hosted by Les, adding this podcast to your list is a great start to developing better habits.
Take Back Your Mind
Take Back Your Mind is a podcast by Agape Church founder and pastor Michael B. Beckwith. This podcast touches on various topics like spirituality, purpose, mindfulness, and more.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty features many guests, from Big Sean to former First Lady Michelle Obama, as they open up about their tips for success and biggest life lessons.
Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Sistas actress Crystal Renee Hayslett created the Keep It Positive, Sweetie podcast, which hones in on discussions like family, second chances, and the art of submission.
Diary of A CEO
Diary of A CEO is more than a business podcast. It highlights many conversations like how to sleep better, the benefits of fasting, and how to reduce toxins in your body.
Being Her
Margarita Nazarenko has built a loyal fanbase on social media from her straight, no-chaser advice on dating, and recently, she launched a podcast called Being Her. The podcast digs a little deeper into feminine energy, manifestation, and, of course, dating.
Healed Girl Era
Gia Peppers hosts the Healed Girl Era podcast, and the name says it all. If you're in your healed girl era or want to get in your healed girl era, then this podcast is for you as Gia and guests tackle topics like self-love and finding your joy.
Super Soul
Oprah's Super Soul podcast features interviews from a wide range of thought leaders in health and wellness, spirituality, and entertainment.
Everybody's Crazy
Everybody's Crazy is hosted by best friends April McDaniel and Savannah James as they open up about their friendship and navigating life. However, their girl talk doesn't shy away from tough conversations like grief and mom guilt and how to overcome it all.
Therapy For Black Girls
Therapy For Black Girls is a mental health podcast hosted by psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford. The podcast covers everything, from dealing with depression to superwoman syndrome.
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