I am going to start off by saying that the words "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" do not mean the same thing to everyone, however there is some stigma attached to these terms and there always will be. Despite our hypergamous nature as women, society still tells us we should prioritize love and a man's potential over provision and the protection it brings. This is why it's taboo for a beautiful woman to openly refer to herself as a "sugar baby" or lets it be known that she only dates men who are successful.
The women who struggle with this fact the most are women of color who aren't from an upper class background, as we are expected to go 50/50 and settle for "struggle love". The truth is, we have more options than we realize, because men of all races, ages, and socioeconomic backgrounds value young attractive women.
Wealthy men are able to attract and effectively court these women, spoil them with gifts and luxurious trips to beautiful destinations. These men are often called "sugar daddies" because, for them, life is sweet and life with them is the same for the ladies they fancy; it's also not uncommon for these men to be older or a divorced. The thing is, not every successful older man is a SD looking for an "arrangement" with a sugar baby, and not every attractive young woman is a "gold digger" (as they are often called) just out for his money. In fact, some men genuinely meet and fall in love with young women, and then make them spoiled wives.
I have dated men of means, some I've met online and some I've met the "old fashioned" way, and I've associated with plenty SBs who swear by that lifestyle. They consider common romantic relationships with regular men "vanilla" and unfulfilling. I, on the other hand, just believe every woman deserves a financially stable man who can provide, and will treat them like the Queen they are! The thing is, many of these men operate in a different world and have a different set of standards because of it, i.e. things that might not turn off a guy with a 9-5 may turn off a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. A level of discernment is needed to learn what type of man you're dealing with, and how to handle them accordingly.
For every 10 Sugar Daddies, there are 100 Salt Daddies out to waste your time and try to take advantage of you.
There are also "Splenda Daddies" who will pretend to have wealth to bait you, but they are not as financially secure as they claim to be (rental cars and Airbnbs, we see you). Don't fret sis, I have used my knowledge to compile a how-to list on attracting quality men on your level; and how to repel "broke boys" who want to hold interviews before taking you on coffee dates, or make you go dutch at the neighborhood bar and grille. *deep sigh*
How To Attract High Quality Men & Repel Low Quality Men
Be A Lady In The Streets...
Men of means are usually cultured and prefer classy women they can take out and show off, a "lady in the streets" so to speak. With this type of man, less is more. Soft and natural makeup, pencil skirts, the classic little black dress, 4in heels, simple hairstyles, and understated jewelry are key to turning the heads of businessmen.
Pretty, feminine colors will work wonders. If you like pants more than dresses, nice-fitting slacks with loafers or heels paired with a blouse is the chicest way to go. I would avoid jeans, leggings, and athletic gear when on dates or "freestyling" (i.e. getting dolled up and go out to places quality men frequent and congregate. )
Lead A Full Life
Most successful men have worked hard to get their fortune, and thus are busy the majority of the time. The time they spend with you will be quality but unless they are retired, they won't have a lot of it. Therefore, they like for their women to have their own lives.
As such, it would behoove you to have several hobbies that enrich your life. Not only will it make you mysterious to a potential suitor, it will give you something interesting to talk about! Yoga, painting, playing an instrument, taking cooking classes, and joining a book club are all good examples of where to start to create a fuller life.
Channel Your Divine Feminine
It's common for women to speak of the "Glow Up" or "Level Up" before looking for a man, but only mention the physical aspect of the transformation. It is true, rich men like sexy women who are in shape (usually size 10 or smaller) because they have more options and are less likely to deal with a woman who doesn't invest in her looks. However, a poor attitude, bad manners, and masculine energy are equally unattractive to them.
These men tend to be masculine alpha males with stressful careers and or businesses; when away from work, they want to unwind with beautiful and fun women. This brings me to my next point, femininity isn't just about makeup, bundles, and stilettos. Being feminine is more than being pretty or sexy, it's a mindset and the energy a woman should possess. Some examples of what this looks like is being sweet, kind, nurturing, quiet, and classy. Sit back and be a vessel of feminine energy. Let him take the lead. Don't you dare reach for the check, sis!
Put Yourself In Positions To Be Found
Where does a woman find these high value men? They're everywhere but the best places to spot them at places with things men like: a nice steak, cigars, liquor etc. You want to go to these spots solo or with one like-minded friend (a man is less likely to approach a group of women). Every major city has a poppin' downtown business district or upper class part of town where there are nice steakhouses, museums, hotel restaurants, and cigar bars.
Happy Hours are the best time to go "date yourself" and possibly run into your future husband or SD. Think Morton's The Steakhouse, Fleming's Steakhouse, Ruth's Chris Steak House; it's after work so the caliber of men you're looking for will be there to have a drink and socialize. You'll walk in looking amazing, get a seat at the bar or a quiet corner table, and prepare yourself to act as the snack and the meal.
After you order an appetizer, get yourself a girly drink like a Cosmopolitan, Amaretto Sour, or a Mojito and open a book to keep your attention while you become someone else's. Never get drunk and watch the bartender prepare your drink, especially if a gentleman offers to buy you one.
Date Online
For the ladies who aren't ready to get out and "freestyle" just yet, you can go online to sites like Onluxy, Seeking Arrangement, Bumble, Tinder and others. It's easier to be deceitful online so be careful, there are plenty of Salt Daddies on these sites. Do your due diligence to vet all men carefully, and do not give out personal information right away!
Always arrange first dates in a public place so you're on even ground, and drive or Lyft your way there so you can leave on your own terms.
Lastly, ladies remember that YOU are the prize so there is nothing wrong with desiring a man who can provide, and will treat you well. Be it a Sugar Daddy to fund your "hot girl summer" or a successful man to marry and start a family with -- whichever works for you.
Happiness is the end goal so being confident, and putting yourself in the position to get precisely what you want is "The Sweet Spot". Any woman can level up.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Would You Ever Be A Sugar Baby?
This Grad Student Shares How Her Sugar Daddy Paid Her $15K Debt
The 5 Traits Of The High Value Woman That Drive The Fellas Wild
Hustle A Job Or Hustle A Man? 9 Things I Learned About Sugar Babies
Featured image by Getty Images
- How To Be A High Value Woman - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- What Makes A Man Invest In A Woman - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- What Men Value In Women Relationships - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Surprising Type Of Women Rich Men Like To Date - YouTube ›
- Successful Men Are Attracted To Successful Women - Did I Read ... ›
- How to Attract Rich Men and Keep Them Interested | PairedLife ›
- Simple Tips To Attract Successful Men ›
- The 5 Things Successful Men Notice First in a Woman | HuffPost ›
- How to Attract Successful Men | Dating Tips ›
- Two Things Smart Women Do to Attract Smart Men ›
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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