Tia Mowry Shares The Why Behind Her Decision To Leave 'The Game' When She Did
You know, there is something so refreshing about seeing this new, independent Tia Mowry. She is out here living her best, unapologetic, post-divorce, free, and fulfilled life. And honestly, we are here for it.
In fact, although her divorce was news to us, it absolutely was not the case for her, as the Sister, Sister alum recently shared with Today that she actually knew the exact moment she wanted to end her 14-year marriage with ex-husband Cory Hardrict.
“I knew when I really started to focus on my happiness. I feel like women, we tend to focus on everybody else’s happiness, making sure that everybody else is okay — meaning our children, our friends, our family — but at the end of the day, it’s about self-love.”
Now, you can find her serving as resident content queen across our timelines, from hilarious Reels on Instagram to dinner recipes on YouTube. She's also taking more chances at owning her happiness and allowing us a genuine glimpse into who she is as a woman -- not the mom, the wife, or the actress -- even opening up on subjects that she never discussed publicly in the past.
Recently, she visited TheTERRELL Show on YouTube so the duo could indulge in a few libations and chat about life like old friends do (which, if you don't watch him regularly, definitely add his channel to your subscription list). They played games and discussed intriguing topics such as her divorce, how she's navigating the single life, The Game, and whether or not she's dating.
Highlights are below:
On acting not being her first passion:
As Terrell was giving Tia her flowers, coining her a triple threat, Tia revealed that she is actually a dancer at heart.
"I love to dance," she started. "And a lot of people don't know this, I actually was a dancer. The first jobs I got were being a dancer, so I danced with MC Hammer." She went on to reveal that she can in fact, "touch that" and that she didn't really have aspirations to be an actress at first.
"I would model, I would dance, there would be some singing. Honestly, my brother Taj was the bonafide actor."
On starring in 'Sister, Sister':
Mowry tells the story of how Sister, Sister came about after visiting the Full House set with Taj frequently at 14 years old. "Sister, Sister was actually created for us, so we didn't have to audition at all. My sister and I just kinda went into this room, and it was at Paramount Studios, and we just talked [about it]."
On Marques Houston being her actual real first kiss:
"You know I grew up on that show and you know I'm a teenager...my first real kiss was in the parking lot at Paramount Studio with Marques Houston. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18, so this is probably the first time [my parents] are hearing this. Marques and I, we were really good friends, and we are still really good friends. So, hi, mom. Hi, dad. Sorry, Marques."
Terrell goes on to ask her how she and her twin sister, Tamera, didn't succumb to the horror stories of being child stars, to which she assuredly quipped, "because we had a mother that whooped our ass."
On the chokehold 'Seventeen Again' had on the culture:
"I feel like it still resonates. A lot of people really, really loved that movie, and it's a classic, especially around that time you didn't see a lot of representation playing in movies like that."
On why she accepted the role of Melanie in 'The Game':
"I graduated from college in 2003. I knew I wanted--because I graduated with a psych degree in growth and child development--I knew I didn't want to go in that direction, so I said you know what, I have my degree, but I still want to act, and I was like you know what, this character is so me. [Melanie] was a girlfriend that was there for her boyfriend at the time, supporting his career...that's kind of where I felt I was in my life."
On why she (really) left 'The Game':
By this time, the shots had settled in, and Tia opened up about some of the politics that go on behind-the-scenes that make actors choose their own happiness over beloved characters.
"'The Game' was canceled from the CW, so there was a timelapse. Pooch (Derwin) ended up booking a show, and he was a regular on the show, which made him reoccurring on 'The Game.' So they said, 'well, you could come back but only as recurring.' And I valued myself, you know, and I said I feel like I'm more than a recurring. I am a regular. And I said 'no.'"
We stan a Black woman who knows her worth. #deuces
The interview closes out with Tia revealing that she's deaf in one ear, her struggles with breaking out as a solo actress without Tamera, and our girl even confirms that she may have been outside to see what the dating pool is all about.
Watch the full interview below:
TIA MOWRY Gets Drunk, Sings Brandy, Spills Marques Houston Tea, and Talks Dating After Divorce
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Featured image by Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
