So, if you've hopped on Twitter anytime recently, you too may have seen Lionel Richie trending for the past few days. And thankfully, he is alive and oh so well, in all the best ways possible, mostly because the American Idol judge has clearly gotten allllll his little groove back, chile.
Lemme explain.
On Valentine's Day, the 71-year-old crooner took to social media to wish all his dearest fans a Happy Valentine's Day. He was posed next to a woman, and cheesing from cheek-to-cheek in a post captioned:
"Love is in the air and #AmericanIdol is back on our screens TONIGHT on @abcnetwork at 8/7c! Happy Valentine's Day from @lisaparigi_ and I"
Well, his fans didn't give a damn about what he was saying, and was immediately drawn to the snack that he was posed next to.
Her name is Lisa Parigi, and according to her Insta, she's from Switzerland and is founder of vegan skincare brand, Glow Up Beauty. And despite numerous reports, no one really knows her actual age, but there is a clear age difference between her and the "Hello" singer. Additionally, my favorite thing about sis, is she's been around, and their love hasn't been a secret whatsoever...
Because, as it turns out, sis has reportedly been bae since 2014, she was just waiting for us to catch up!
Richie has been married twice before—once to Brenda Harvey and the other, Diane Alexander—and he has three adult children, Nicole, Miles, and Sofia.
And since we all know that in Hollywood, age gaps aren't new, and never will be, so we shouldn’t be making a fuss, right? I mean, she seems to be a completely sane adult entering a consensual relationship with someone who just so happens to be a...*few*...generations older.
It made me wonder though, in love and war, is age really just a number?
After all, Gabrielle Union is 10 years older than Dwyane Wade:
Eddie Murphy is 19 years older than his partner, Paige Butcher:
Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
Jennifer Lopez was 18 years older than Casper Smart when they dated:
DFree / Shutterstock.com
Marques Houston married Miya Dickey last year—who's about 20 years his junior:
And Jay Z is 12 years older than Beyonce:
Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
So, when, if ever, is the gap worth having the conversation?
--
Well, as you probably can imagine, the internet had a LOT to say:
From comedy...
To optimism...
To support...
...every corner of the conversation was touched on.
--
As of today, Lionel has yet to respond to his newfound couple's popularity, but I have a feeling he's unbothered, and, if anything, beyond happy and more than proud to have her on his arm.
But. Hmm.
When it comes to relationships, is age really just a number?
Featured image by Lionel Ritchie / Instagram
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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