

In October 2024, Imani Murray embarked on a new chapter, leaving America for good. The tech professional had already spent a few months living outside the U.S., first in China and then in Thailand. But in October, she took a leap of faith, landing a remote job and settling in Mexico City. She’s not alone.
Driven by a desire for change, many Americans, especially Black women, are considering a life beyond the U.S. If you’ve been considering a move, it's crucial to consider some key factors before you pack all your bags, sell your furniture, and build a life in another country. Below, we've gathered insights from three Black women who have successfully made the leap.
Motivations for Moving
Many who decide to move out of the country are motivated by the desire to escape the rat race. After Murray attended Afrotech in 2023, she started a targeted job search that landed her a remote tech role in Mexico City.
“After attending AfroTech in Austin, I was surprised to learn that Mexico City had a lot of tech opportunities," she says. “So I booked a flight for November to check out the city. I had a friend in the city show me around, help me expand my Spanish, and give me an early connection in the city. After my first trip in November 2023, I returned in February 2024 and realized I qualified for temporary residency because of a previous Tulum trip in 2021, which solidified my decision to move here.”
Imani Murray relocated to Mexico City.
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In May 2022, Niki Benjamin and her husband decided to move to France to be closer to his family. Originally from New York, Benjamin quickly fell in love with the area’s beaches, charming villages, and relaxing lifestyle.
“Living in the South of France, there’s an emphasis on healthy food, a great healthcare system, and a slower pace of life, which were all major draws for me,” she explains. “I've found a sense of peace and well-being here that I didn't know could truly be possible.”
Tamika Hardy’s recent move out of the U.S. was prompted by her husband’s retirement and his ability to work remotely. Her children were grown, and they were both ready to embrace a slower pace of life. They landed on Merida, Mexico, which has become a hub for Black American expats.
“We chose Mérida for its incredible safety. It’s known as the second safest city in North America, which gave us peace of mind for starting our new chapter and building our empty nesters' home,” Hardy says. “Mérida checked all the boxes. It’s 20 minutes from the beach, has warm weather and healthier food options, and it’s an easy flight back to the U.S. to visit family.”
The Biggest Challenges in Moving
For Niki Benjamin, the move from New York to France was a test of resilience. She had a month to get rid of personal items, coupled with the complexities of settling into a new country and learning a new language, which made the transition more difficult. Benjamin also found herself missing the familiar comforts of home.
“I missed the 24-hour access to grocery stores, reality TV and pop culture, and American fashion brands,” she says. “But with a bit of creativity, the internet, and the generosity of family and friends sending care packages, I've been able to stay connected and indulge in a good deal of the comforting familiarities of home,” she says.
Niki Benjamin relocated to the South of France.
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Hardy also had a whirlwind move from Maryland to Mexico. She sold her home in three days and only had 30 days to figure out the logistics of the move. Along with the quick move, adjusting to the slower-paced lifestyle was hard for the couple.
“Things like getting services or tasks done on my timeline just don’t happen the same way, and I had to learn patience,” she says. “We also don’t speak Spanish, which was initially challenging. To help, we’ve started taking Spanish lessons, which has been a fun and humbling experience. Over time, I’ve grown to appreciate the slower pace and the learning opportunities, but it was definitely an adjustment.”
The Importance of Building Community
While modern conveniences like online shopping and remote work can foster a sense of isolation, Imani Murray believes that moving to a new country requires a different approach. She emphasizes the need to be open to new experiences, meet new people, and build a community.
“When I first moved to Mexico City, I would randomly talk to people in the street, especially Black people, who always reciprocated,” she says. “I’m also connected to people through Facebook and WhatsApp group chats, which helps me find events and connect with people.”
Tamika Hardy and her husband relocated to Merida, Mexico.
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Though Benjamin moved with her husband and lived close to her in-laws, she still prioritized making friends and building connections to make the transition easier.
“I immersed myself in the local culture by interacting with neighbors, frequenting local shops, and joining community activities,” she says. “Joining the local tennis club has allowed me to connect with people who share my interests and is a great place to practice my French. The slower pace of life in a small seaside village has made it easier to build relationships and feel a sense of belonging.”
Hardy built community in Merida by attending local gatherings, like girls’ night out, karaoke, and movie nights. The couple also took up pickleball, which she says is “a fun way to stay active but also an amazing way to bond with both locals and fellow expats.”
The First Steps to Take If You Want to Leave the U.S.
Murray says the most important thing is researching where you want to go and what you’ll need. She recommends joining expat groups online and connecting with people who already live there.
“Everywhere has its problems, but choose a place that feeds that need within you,” she says. “Check Facebook for groups (for me, it was Black Expats in Mexico City) and ask any questions you might have. At the end of the day, most people are willing to help you, so you do not have to do it alone.”
Benjamin echoes this advice and says to use YouTube and social media to get real-life insights and research destinations for things like climate, demographics, culture, food, cost of living, and job opportunities.
“Once you've narrowed your options, it's important to understand the visa and immigration process, the local job market, housing options, and the healthcare system,” she advises. “Connecting with other expats can also provide valuable advice and support. Also, consider taking a longer vacation to your desired destination(s) and approach the visit as a great opportunity to explore the local vibes.”
The Benefits of Life Outside of the U.S.
Murray says one of the biggest benefits of moving abroad is access to better food and a healthier lifestyle. “The US has so many pesticides, hormones, and GMOs that are restricted here,” she says. “I’ve found that my health has improved significantly. A lot of things are also more accessible here, like medicine and healthcare.”
Benjamin also says that she’s been able to embrace a healthier lifestyle by leaving the U.S. Benjamin is a certified Pilates instructor and last year, she started Wish You Were Here Retreats, which are aimed at women who want a wellness break.
“I've further embraced a healthier lifestyle thanks to the emphasis on fresh, local ingredients and the opportunity to be active and spend more time outdoors,” she says. “Accessing quality healthcare has also given me peace of mind.”
Though Hardy misses Target runs, Chick-fil-A, and Homegoods, she says the slower pace and beauty of Mexico make it worthwhile.
“We have less stress and a slower, more intentional way of living,” she says. “The food is fresher, and the lifestyle has given us room to focus on what matters: our health, our dreams, and each other. Living abroad has truly been a manifestation of the life we’ve always wanted.”
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On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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