I’m pretty sure that you got a general sense of what the purpose of your tongue is back in elementary school; however, as a brief recap: it’s a group of super flexible muscles (yep, not just one) that are full of blood and nerves.
The reasons why you need your tongue is because it 1) plays an essential role in helping you to properly digest your food; 2) makes it possible for you to taste your food; 3) makes it easier for you to speak clearly; 4) helps your immune system to fight off germs; 5) helps you to suck (I mean…), and 6) makes it easier for you to breathe at night. And so, with all that your tongue does for you, of course, you want to make sure that it stays as healthy as possible…right?
And just how do you know that your tongue is in good condition? The main sign is that it’s a shade of pink (which can go from light to dark). Another sign is that your tongue doesn’t have any of the following 10 issues going on. If yours does — and especially if yours remains with these symptoms for more than a couple of days — don’t take it lightly. Because, even though your tongue is only aboutthree inches long (and a little over two inches wide), it’s a little thing that makes a really big impact. Therefore, you need it to be as healthy as possible at all times.
1. Red Tongue
Another word for a red tongue isa strawberry one. Strawberry tongues happen as the result of being vitamin B12 deficient, experiencing a food or medication-related allergy, or having an underlying illness. Another thing that can cause a strawberry tongue is TSS, which is the abbreviation for toxic shock syndrome (wild, right?). So if you know that you are low in vitamin B12 and your tongue appears red, consider taking a B12 supplement and/orconsuming foods that are high in the nutrient, like beef, tuna, eggs, salmon, and milk alternatives (like almond or oat).
If you suspect that something else might be the case, make an appointment with your doctor because you may need an antibiotic or a prescription-strength antihistamine. Plus, you may need your healthcare provider to confirm that you don’t haveglossitis, which is a condition that addresses tongue inflammation; it looks similar to a strawberry tongue, yet the treatment is sometimes different.
2. Yellow Tongue
If you’ve been noticing that your breath doesn’t smell as fresh as it usually does, stick out your tongue to see if it has a yellowish hue to it. If so, that could be the underlying cause, as a yellow tongue is oftentimes caused by poor oral hygiene and/or a build-up of bacteria. Now, while it should go on record that certain foods, drinks, medications, mouthwashes, and even smoking (tobacco) can temporarily “stain” your tongue, if that is the case, the color will fade; if not, you may have a bout of yellow tongue.
And if it is due to poor hygiene, simply brushing your tongue should remedy it. However, since a yeast infection of the mouth (yes, it happens) and underlying conditions like jaundice and diabetes could also be the culprit, don’t “Google” a home remedy here. If your tongue remains yellow after a few days — especially if you have other symptoms like vomiting, a fever, or blood in your stools — make an appointment to see your physician as soon as possible, just to rule out that nothing else is potentially going on.
3. Bumpy Tongue
Honestly, there are all sorts of things that can result in you havinga bumpy tongue. You could have bitten or burned it, which resulted in some sort of tongue injury, you could have a food allergy, or you could have some sort of oral infection or an STI/STD like syphilis (which has jumpeda whopping 80 percent over the past few years when it comes to new cases) or oral herpes or it could be something as simple (and hella common) as an old-fashioned canker sore.
If it is a canker sore (which is nothing more than a mild mouth ulcer), avoiding spicy foods for several days and rinsing your mouth with some baking soda and water should speed up the healing process. On the other hand, if the bump continues to grow or doesn’t go away within 7-10 days, your doctor may need to perform some blood tests to see why it is still hanging around.
4. White Coating on Tongue
Typically, if you happen to have a thin water coat on your tongue, you simply need to brush it. However, it would be irresponsible of me to not also bring up the fact that a white tongue could also be a sign of dehydration (especially from drinking too much alcohol), not consuming enough fresh fruits and vegetables, breathing through your mouth instead of your nose (which can “dry out” your tongue), damaging your tongue with a sharp object (or dentures) and/or smoking or vaping tobacco. The silver lining in all of this is you can pretty much resolve these with the help of a few lifestyle changes.
5. Sore Tongue
I don’t know what in the world makes people think that they need a condom for intercourse, and yet they can’t get an STI/STD from oral sex because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Pretty much any sex-related infection that you can get from intercourse, you can get from oral activity, so if you’re sexually active, not getting tested regularly, and your tongue has been feeling sore or you notice sores in your mouth, contact your doctor so that they can run some tests.
That said, it’s also important to keep in mind that ulcers, food allergies, smoking, nutrient deficiencies, certain medications, oral cancer, and various infections can lead to having a sore tongue too. Since the causes are so vast, when should you be particularly concerned? If your tongue develops lumps or blisters, changes color, or is also in pain, that’s your cue to see your physician. Please make sure that you do.
6. Green Tongue
If your tongue starts off looking white andthen ends up turning green, it could be due to a build-up of bacteria. However, another thing that it could be a sign of is oral thrush or even oral cancer. Since oftentimes this particular color is yeast-related, avoid trying to self-diagnose it. Instead, contact your doctor because there is a good chance that you may need the type of antifungal medication that requires a prescription.
7. Gray Tongue
Psoriasis is a chronic autoimmune condition; eczema is not, although it can produce symptoms that look similar to psoriasis, including an itchy rash. What a lot of people don’t know, though, is you can have psoriasis and eczema in your mouth. When it’s due to psoriasis, it’s oftentimes linked to what is known as geographic tongue, where spots and patches are on the tongue — and when those patches are actual lesions, sometimes they can appear to be gray in color.
Since eczema and oral cancer can also cause your tongue to look gray, it’s best to have your doctor or dentist take a look at it, especially if you have trouble eating or swallowing, too.
8. Blue Tongue
If yourtongue has a blueish hue (and it’s not because you ate something like a bowl of blueberries or had a blue or purple popsicle), the first thing that it’s probably a sign of is poor circulation. If that is the case, you need to head to an emergency room as soon as possible because blood circulation issues are absolutely nothing to play with. Something else worth taking note of is if you have some varicose veins on other parts of your body, it’s not totally abnormal to get a couple of them on your tongue as you get older.
Although that is not a medical emergency, you should still monitor them and bring them to your doctor’s attention at your next visit. Also, anemia can cause a blue or purple tongue, so if your tongue is that color and you’re constantly feeling tired or weak, you are lightheaded, you have shortness of breath, or an irregular heartbeat, put your physician on notice.Anemia is nothing to play with either.
9. “Hairy” Tongue
Did you know that your tongue is supposed to do some of its own shedding (not peeling but shedding)? Basically, the tongue's papillae are what gives your tongue its “rough” surface, and when those little bumps don’t get new cells, it can lead to what is known as a hairy tongue, which is simplya build-up of keratin that can make your tongue look “hairy.” Not only that but if your tongue gets to this point, food, bacteria, and yeast can accumulate and can turn your tongue into a totally different color.
Although more seniors than younger adults end up with a hairy tongue, it’s good to remember that it occurs due to poor oral hygiene and, although a tongue scraper (followed by consistent brushing of your tongue) should remedy the issue if a hairy tongue recurs, you should definitely make an appointment with your dentist or doctor. A hairy tongue, you should not have.
10. Peeling Tongue
Even something as small as a canker sore can feel like it’s big as hell when it’s on your tongue, so just imagine whata peeling tongue must feel like. More times than not, this is the result of oral thrush or physical damage that is done to the top layer of your tongue including constantly drinking or eating spicy or acidic foods. Although a peeling tongue tends to be more irritating than anything, if it’s accompanied by a fever, tongue swelling, or bumps that continue to grow or open up — you already know what I’m about to say.
You need your tongue, sis. Therefore, it’s important that you pay attention to when it sends signs that it’s not working at its optimal level. At the end of the day, whether you realize it or not, your overall health and well-being depend on it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
You Like Having Sex With Him. Your Vagina Doesn't. What Should You Do?
I already know. Some of y’all read the title of this and was like, “How does that even make sense?” Oh, believe you me, there can be someone who you are definitely attracted to, who you connect with on a billion levels, where the sexual chemistry is totally off the charts — and yet, when it comes to intercourse, your vagina is on some "Do we really have to?"
It can be for a few different reasons. His penis size might take some adjusting to. His sperm/semen may throw your pH balance off. You might end up with a yeast infection or UTI (urinary tract infection) on a semi-consistent basis. Uh-huh, now do you see how you can enjoy coitus and still experience — let’s call them “technical difficulties” as far as your vagina goes at the same time?
If this has been your plight and you’ve been scouring the internet in order to get some much-needed (literal) relief, here are 12 things that may be able to get you, your partner, and your vagina on the same page, as far as experiencing consistently pleasurable copulation is concerned.
1. Bring in Some Lubrication
GiphyLet’s begin with something that can kill two birds with one stone — umm, so to speak. Whether your issue is that your man’s size is a lot to handle or either the friction of the sex or the inability to get as wet as you would like is resulting in you ending up with a UTI, invest in some lubrication. The wetter you are, the better sex will feel, and the less irritated your vagina will be.
The real hack is to get the kind that is as close to the pH level of your vagina (which should be somewhere around 4.5) as possible. Word on the street is that silicone-based ones can help you out in this department. By the way, saliva can also throw your pH balance off, which is why some people use things like dental damns. Just something to keep in mind as far as oral activity goes.
2. Use Condoms
GiphyIf it’s been a minute since you’ve had sex (check out “What Actually Happens To Your Vagina During Seasons Of Abstinence?”) or you’re about to change (or add) sex partners, there are many reasons why you should use a condom — one of them being that bacteria or sperm/semen definitely has the potential to throw your vagina’s pH level off as well which can lead to a yeast infection.
Not to mention the fact that men can get yeast infections and sometimes they are asymptomatic. This means that if you don’t want to be passing one of those bad boys back and forth to each other, a rubber can serve as a barrier for that.
3. Consume More Probiotics. Eat Less Sugar.
GiphySpeaking of bacteria, another thing that you can do to decrease the chances of bad bacteria overtaking the good kind that’s in your va-jay-jay, be intentional about taking a probiotic and consuming foods that are filled with probiotics. Also, try to eat less sugar. Probiotic-enriched foods like yogurt, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, fish sauce, and fermented veggies will give you more good bacteria. The reason why sugar is an enemy of your vagina is because that is what feeds bad bacteria and yeast.
4. Have Your Partner Give You a Perineal Massage (with a Twist)
GiphyAs a doula, I know quite a bit about perineal massages. Basically, it’s all about having your partner put some oil or lubricant on one or two of their fingers before using them to gently massage your perineum (the skin that is in between your vaginal opening and your anus) in order to decrease your chances of tearing while giving birth. Well, if you want to prepare yourself for sex after going without for a long period of time or before engaging with a larger partner, this type of massage could help you out, too.
The reason why I didn’t just call this good old-fashioned fingering is because if a part of what you want to partake in is anal sex, it can be wise to not just stretch your vagina but that piece of skin as well. Just make sure that if you plan on using a condom, you go with a water or silicone-based lubricant only. Oils will dissolve the potency of latex.
5. Invest in a Vaginal Dilator
GiphyI’m actually kind of surprised that vaginal dilators don’t come up more in sex-related articles. If you’ve never heard of them before, they are tube-like devices that are made out of plastic or medical-grade silicone that can help to stretch out your vagina, make it more flexible, and reduce discomfort during intercourse (especially if yours is related to having some sort of issues with your pelvic floor).
In fact, if you’re in the latter stages of perimenopause or you’re post-menopausal and sex has not been as pleasurable for you because of symptoms that are directly associated with that, a vaginal dilator might be able to offer up some relief.
For the record, you can typically purchase them at local drugstores (and online); however, you might want to run this decision by your doctor first, just so they can discuss any potential challenges/issues that you should know about (since they have your medical history).
6. Take Some Ibuprofen Before Sex
GiphyThis tip right here is a bit of a double-edged sword because whiletaking an over-the-counter pain reliever like ibuprofen an hour or so before having sex can help to reduce pain and inflammation to your vagina (if that has been an issue in the past),some studies say that men who take these same meds can potentially increase their chances of experiencing some level of erectile dysfunction.
That said, since the article today is focusing on our body parts, yes, this is somewhat of an effective hack, especially if you also soak in a warm bath prior to getting some.
7. Urinate Right After Sex
GiphyIf you’ve always wondered if you really should make it a point and practice to pee after having sex, the short answer is yes. Although nothing is going to blow up if you don’t, the reason why it’s a good idea is it can help to flush bacteria out of your urethra which can, in turn, lower your chances of experiencing a UTI.
8. Extend the Foreplay
GiphyI don’t think one woman on this planet is shocked thatmost ladies would prefer more foreplay before sex. As far as how long that should be, some studies state thatsomewhere around 20 minutes is good. That said, all of us are different, and, keeping in line with being wetter making sex better theme, if you need more time with “the appetizer” before the “main course” —tell your partner that. When it comes to less friction, more comfort, and ultimately more satisfying sex, longer foreplay might just be all that you need.
9. Stay on Top
GiphyYou probably already know this; still, I’m adding it in for safe measure. If you want to be able to better control the speed, motion, and depth of your partner when it comes to intercourse, opt for being on top. It will feel more comfortable to you, and I don’t know any man who doesn’t like to get a full view of what his partner has to offer when she’s on top of him. It’s a win for everyone involved.
10. Sign Up for Some Pelvic Floor Therapy
GiphyIf no matter what you do, you seem to experience some level of discomfort during sex, you might want to look into getting some pelvic floor therapy. It is a literal form of physical therapy that can help to strengthen the muscles in your pelvic region. If you’re interested in learning more about this, you can search for pelvic floor therapists who are in your area here.
11. Have Some Diflucan on Tap (Just in Case)
GiphyAlthough a lot of these tips are all about taking preventative measures, what should you do if you already have a yeast infection that’s tied to sex (and you know that for sure)? If you don’t want to go through the (sometimes) drama of scheduling a doctor’s appointment, there are sites now that will prescribe antifungal meds like Diflucan online.
Wisp is one that I definitely know does, along with medication for bacterial vaginosis (BV), UTIs, and genital herpes, too. Just fill out a form, and a doctor will follow up online. If they feel that you are a good candidate, they will send a prescription to a pharmacy in your area (of your choosing), and you can go pick up and pay there — sometimes all within the same day.
12. Get Tested for a Potential Sperm/Semen Allergy
GiphyAlthough actually being allergic to sperm/semen is not hella common (reportedly around 40,000 women in this country are), it is a real thing. So, if after having unprotected sex, you experience incessant burning and/or itching, hives, lip and/or tongue swelling, nausea, or diarrhea, it’s important that you see your physician. Although this kind of allergy is not particularly “dangerous,” it can be super uncomfortable.
Plus, it can make it harder for you to conceive a child (if that is something that you and your partner are trying to do). As far as treatment goes, to a certain extent, it varies. However, a prescription-strength antihistamine may be what your healthcare provider recommends for you.
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Gee, I certainly hope that these tips help. Because while having sex with someone who you dig is wonderful, it is so much better when your vagina “gets along” with him too. Feel me? Exactly.
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