I recently read a quote from Sarah Jakes Roberts that says, "We don't need a fresh start, we can finish strong."
It resonated so strongly with me because this season is always an interesting one. A lot of us are getting ready for the hustle and bustle of Christmas but at the same time trying to achieve this weird balance of preparing for all that 2019 will offer and making sure we reflect on 2018 and all that it was… or I guess I should say, still is.
I think that's part of the conflict. 2018 is still here and most of us have already said "thank u, next" and are thinking about all of the amazing things we'll do in 2019 that we didn't get to check off this year. It's like we're over the things we didn't accomplish or things that didn't go the way we expected, so we can't wait for 2019 to get here so we can show out the way we always knew we could. My question is, why wait?
Getty Images
You Don’t Have To Wait To Pick Yourself Up Again
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for forward thinking and anticipating what's to come. But this year doesn't have to be a complete wash… at least not yet. Most of the time, it's so easy to beat ourselves up if we had an "off year." I mean, time goes by so fast these days that it feels like we go from January to July to December without getting a chance to catch our breath and recover from any unexpected punches this year came with.
I went through a major transition this year, so I can definitely understand that this year wasn't the best year like you thought it would be this time last year. But who says it's too late for that to still happen? I guess the mentality of waiting until the New Year to accomplish something bugs me because it's as if we're putting our lives on pause in hopes that we'll feel different about accomplishing that task in 2019, when in reality, it could just serve as another day. We might not feel any different. And after a couple of weeks, the momentum could have already died down. But as long as we're writing 2018 at the end of the date, there's still time to get in some of those goals you had for this year.
On the flip side, as long as we're waiting for something new (like a new year to arrive before we get started), will we ever really get to the finish line?
Getty Images
You Don’t Have To Wait Until 2019 To Press Go
It literally just hit me that this time last year, we were doing the same thing for 2018 and that we're now doing for 2019. It's a never-ending cycle. So who says we have to wait until 2019 makes its highly-anticipated arrival to start on those goals? Of course, time is definitely ticking and waits for no one. Most of us have realized that time is going by faster and faster as we get older, so the realist in me knows that at this point in 2018 might not be the year to lose all the weight I wanted or start that business. But it can definitely be the year you start. And how you start is just as important as how you finish.
You can intentionally embrace a healthier lifestyle that has the potential and power (if you let it) to jump start you with even more motivation when the clock strikes 12 AM on January 1. If you had a dream of starting a business, you can at least develop a plan and start getting your contacts together. Whatever it is, I would bet that there's something no matter how small, that you can do toward the goals you had for this year, and the ones you've set for 2019.
Getty Images
You Can Stop Taking That Ish Now.
This is typically the time of year we see viral memes and messages that say we won't take the same crap we did the year before. You know homegirl with the high bun that's stepping on all things she had to go through the year before as she walks into the door of a new year? It reminds me of this post I saw on Facebook that said 2019 is going to be the year they get everything back that the devil took from them. But again, why wait?
There's no reason the things you want to do next year can't be done now. I'm not trying to be super serious or even a Debbie Downer 'cause I hate that, but I just never realized how our culture can sometimes make us subconsciously feel like we have to wait until a new year before we start on our goals or to take on a new mindset; like standing up for ourselves or being confident. I've had to learn that I don't need the excuse or justification of a new year to live my best life and be my best self.
I get that 2019 is an exciting thought because it feels like a fresh start; just like a new month or a birthday typically does. You might not believe it after this post but I'm actually one of those people who loves a new season, new month, or new birthday because it just feels like I get to press start again and forget about the past. Still, I've embraced this new thought that we don't need a fresh start sis, we can finish this year strong right where we are.
It might be almost over, but it's not completely over, which means it's not too late to go after what we really want this year.
Featured image by Getty Images.
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
“I’m a different person, you know, now than I was January 19,” King shared. “Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go.”
“I know that it’s important for me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us,” she added.
The Shirley star also added that it's vital to discuss the common misconception surrounding depression, noting that battles with mental health can manifest in diverse ways. “When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King told Robin Roberts.
“To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand… He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
Jeff Kravitz / Contributor/Getty Images
The Academy Award winner openly revealed that she was initially “so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,' " she said.
With the memory of her son near to her, King said through tears, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom and I can say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Anderson, 26, was a musician, DJ, and King’s only child. In 2019, Ian escorted his mother on the red carpet of the Golden Globes where she took home the award for "Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture."
He toldE! News at the time, "She's just a super mom. She doesn't really let bad work days or anything come back and ruin the time that we have. It's really awesome to have a mother who I can enjoy spending time with."
Understanding that grief is shared by many others, King emphasizes the unique weight of her role as Ian's mother and acknowledges that the sadness will always be a part of her.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shannon Finney / Stringer/Getty Images
