

R&B superstar Tank and I have a lot of things in common. Sort of.
We both love R&B.
We're both church kids.
And we both decided to spend some of our time quarantined learning and playing new songs on our piano. Unfortunately for me, that's where the buck stops.
You see I can play, but Tank can PLAY play. And I can arguably sing but Tank can undoubtedly SANG. And those who know, know that there's definitely a difference.
So when the Grammy-nominated artist hopped on the phone to chat with me on a busy afternoon in April about his new EP aptly entitled While You Wait--I was all ears. Each song on the six-track project is composed of strictly keys and vocals. Which is a breath of fresh air in the overly synthesized, auto-tuned-laced music world he's been accustomed to for nearly 20 years. And when I asked him to explain his reasoning as to why he opted not to add a lot of "flare and fizzle" this time around, he admitted to wanting to produce something that spoke to just how close we were all forced to be during this time. "We got everybody home right now: we got the kids; we got mom and dad; it's the grandma. I really wanted something to really add to that connection or just describe it," he tells xoNecole. "And be the soundtrack to it in a sense." A different yet still musically satisfying move for a man who effortlesly oozes all things sex, love, and pain on a pretty regular basis. (Looking at you, "When We".)
We recently got the chance to catch up with the "Savage" singer where we discussed his new EP, what he's learned in love, and just how he keeps his marriage "grown and sexy". Here's what he had to say.
xoNecole: First things first, how are you?
Tank: C'mon now, I'm awesome. You know, it's quarantine time, people are closer, they got to be connected. It's the perfect time for R&B baby! (laughs)
You know what I’m glad you feel that way, let’s talk about it. Your EP, 'While You Wait' is--
Did you like it?
I did, I honestly did. You really stripped it down to the bare bones you know--just piano and vocals. What was your thought process behind deciding to do it that way?
My Elevation EP had so many different colors: turn up, turn down, or turn in--it's got all of that. But I really wanted to dedicate a full piece to everybody because sometimes my music can be a little "not totally for everybody" (laughs). Sometimes my music can be '21-and-older' or maybe '25-and-older', we don't get to unite the entire family under one body of work. So, I really wanted to dedicate something to that.
I can understand that. And you know, you touched on this a little bit ago. But I feel like I can't say the name Tank without also saying the term “R&B”. The two go hand in hand in my mind.
Oh, wow.
And I’m sure a lot of your fans would agree. So for you, what is it about the essence of R&B that makes you keep producing that type of music and the fans coming back to enjoy it?
I'm a church kid, right? So, it's always been about creating something that feels like something. R&B for me is just that. It's being able to dedicate a melody, a lyric, instrumentation to make moments. When I think about the R&B songs I was raised on, I can connect moments to it, I can connect people to it. There's a feeling that comes on and it comes over me. It's almost like this high, but it's also like a high in a time machine all at the same time. It's like, 'Let's go back to where this feeling was.' And I've always wanted my music to do that. So, that's what keeps me loyal to this.
"When I think about the R&B songs I was raised on, I can connect moments to it, I can connect people to it. There's a feeling that comes on and it comes over me. It's almost like this high, but it's also like a high in a time machine all at the same time. It's like, 'Let's go back to where this feeling was.' And I've always wanted my music to do that."
So normally, this is the part where we like to switch gears a bit and get a little close and a little intimate. Are you up for that?
Well, you know. I mean, this is what I do (laughs). You need to ask yourself that question.
You’re right--let me assess. The answer is yes.
Let's do it.(laughs)
I feel like I also can't say the name Tank without also automatically thinking: grown and sexy. What are some ways you like to keep things grown and sexy in your own marriage?
When it comes to marriage and relationships--and especially in relationships like mine where we've known each other for so long--there are all these conversations about trying to find new and innovative ways to keep the spark going, to keep the fire going. I think a lot of that is creating memorable dates, carving out real time. The thing that I'm continuing to grow in is the thoughtful side of being romantic. Which is something that as men we have to continue to work on. Because we can become disconnected, especially once we get to working. But women are good at staying connected. So for me, the 'grown and sexy' is all about staying connected and me thinking about my woman.
You know if I'm out and about, it's grabbing something and being like, 'Wow, this will be cool for my wife.' That's the type of thing I'm working on and trying to do more of. And carving out that time so that we can get away twice a year and carving out another moment where we can shoot to Vegas for three days. Or shoot to Cabo for three days. Because once you start having kids (laughs), it all gets in the way of being able to take that time with the person you love. And that's the important part of it, right?
"The thing that I'm continuing to grow in is the thoughtful side of being romantic. Which is something that as men we have to continue to work on. Because we can become disconnected, especially once we get to working. But women are good at staying connected. So for me, the 'grown and sexy' is all about staying connected and me thinking about my woman."
Right.
Because nobody wants to do a quickie ALL of the time, you know what I'm saying?
Not all the time.
Exactly. Sometimes you really want to sit there and take that thing apart and properly digest that thing without having to get up and run away.
Well since we’re on the subject kind of, I imagine you have a "Mood Playlist", and I know you know what I mean by that.
I do know what you mean and it's 90's music.
All 90's music?
Yeah, it's mostly 90s. Maybe some early 2000s--but none of my music. I don't need to be listening to myself. I don't do that. Maybe I'll sprinkle in some of the new artists, some H.E.R. Summer Walker's got some nice things out. Bellinger has some nice things, [so does] Sammie. But lovemaking for me is a 90's vibe.
I can get with that. So, if you had to describe Tank the lover in three words and three words only, what would they be?
Mmm. Three words only, OK. Passionate, attentive, aggressive.
I think we all got a little glimpse of all those in “Dirty".
Oh yeah.
So when you think about your relationship 10, 15, 20 years from now, what do you want it to look, feel, or sound like?
I just want it to be--and what I've alway wanted it to be--is really cool and really fun. I just want to laugh and drink tequila. I'm a 'glass half full' kind of guy. And for me, I'm always trying to figure out how to relieve the stresses, which sometimes come naturally. But it becomes more, the more you dwell in it and the more you lay in it. So, I'm always trying to stay stress-free. We are fortunate to live a life where the stresses that our parents grew up with, we don't have those. We've been blessed in a different kind of way. So, sometimes the Universe for balance purposes will try to create things and we have to step back and say, 'You know what, this really aint that important.' So every year, I want to laugh, I want to have fun and I just want to do as much of it as we can together.
What's the biggest difference you've found between Tank at the beginning of your relationship with [your wife] Zena and the Tank now?
I think as men we're always growing and evolving. It's just learning the relationship and learning the person in the relationship. And I think what we continue to grow in is the sacrifice. The idea of putting someone first has to be a choice that you make every single day. And it's not a thing you're going to get right everyday or all the time. In the beginning of what we were and what we were becoming, I didn't totally have that concept or even know what that meant because music for me has always been my first marriage. It was my first love. But then when you start going into the space where you're becoming one with another person, they kind of take precedence over that. So, for me in the beginning, I didn't really have a concept of what that was. And as we've grown and continue to grow, I'm being better about that constantly.
"The idea of putting someone first has to be a choice that you make every single day. And it's not a thing you're going to get right everyday or all the time. In the beginning of what we were and what we were becoming, I didn't totally have that concept or even know what that meant because music for me has always been my first marriage. It was my first love."
Last thing before you go, what do you know now about love that you didn't know before?
I'll say two things: one is that love isn't the maker of anything. Love didn't "make you" do anything. Now, it was a deciding factor in whatever decision you came up with, but love didnt make you do anything. And two, if it's done the right way, love must be and has to be unconditional. I learned that in having kids and having my daughters. My relationships with my daughters aren't perfect, they aren't perfect. I'm not perfect. But they're my daughters. I love them with all of my heart, I don't care what happens between us, my love for them will never change. Period, point blank. And the person you decide to go all the way with, they are now part of that unconditional system. It's not supposed to be perfect, none of us are perfect, by design, we aren't perfect. So, if you walk into it expecting anything other than that you're fooling yourself. You really have to walk into this thing knowing that, there is work ahead and it's going to take understanding without conditions in order for all of this to last.
While You Waitis available to stream everywhere NOW. And for more of Tank, keep up with him on Instagram @therealtank.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
As Told To: 'I Spent $10K On A Dating Coach & Now I’m Married To The Love Of My Life'
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Shirley Williams' story as told to Sheriden Chanel.
When I decided to become the CEO of my love life, it cost me over $10K.
Trust, sharing that choice online came with a lot of opinions I didn’t ask for. $10K on a dating coach? Yeah, I did that. And less than two years later, I’m married to the man I prayed for. So if you’re wondering about the ROI... let’s just say it paid off in full.
But before all that, let me take you back to how this journey really began.
When I resolved to walk away from my 13-year relationship, admittedly, I wasn’t thinking about dating at all. My ex was a good man. He was kind, he was cool, but I knew he wasn’t my man. God knew that, too, even before I did.
We had reached a fork in the road: I was growing deeper in my faith, wanting to center God in every part of my life, including my purpose. He was walking a different path, and we were no longer aligned. Turns out, you can spend 13 years with someone and still be emotionally malnourished.
As our relationship came to its end, I learned that longevity isn’t proof of alignment. I learned that a man being “good” isn’t enough. A man can be kind but not called to walk beside you in your purpose. That being unclear about your values will always cost you time.
And delaying your desires in the name of comfort? That’ll cost you even more. I knew I never wanted to make that mistake again.
Still, even knowing it was right to let him go, walking away felt like mourning a death. I dated casually after that: flings and situationships here and there. But they took more than they gave. I was left depleted more than fulfilled, so I made a conscious decision to stop dating altogether.
Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with a brain injury that left her unable to form short-term memories. My sister and I became her caregivers along with my dad. But just as I got her stabilized, my father was diagnosed with blood cancer. At one point, he was bedridden.
So no, I wasn’t thinking about love. I was thinking about survival.
For two years, I didn’t give out my number. Didn’t go on a single date. I was tired, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not just from dating. From everything.
Those two years weren’t about fear, they were about focus. I was caregiving, grieving, and building a startup from the ground up. I had nothing left to give romantically. So when my birthday came around in September 2023, I knew I needed stillness to replenish what I had lost.
I went to Joshua Tree alone, I booked a tiny home in the middle of the desert, and I told myself: “I’m going to be still.” For five days, I read, prayed, fasted, and listened to jazz and classical music. No distractions.
Courtesy of Shirley Vernae
On the drive back to LAX, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t unsee it: I had invested in every other area of my life, except my love life. I realized then that my love life deserved a strategy, too.
So, I did what I always do when I want to grow in an area: I found someone wiser. I found an expert who could guide me in the form of a dating coach, and I hired him. Because love is too sacred to leave to chance. And I was finally ready to build it on purpose.
To some, hiring a dating coach might’ve looked like desperation. But desperation doesn’t look like pausing for two years, it looks like settling for crumbs and calling it a meal. You’ll mistake attention for affection, and chaos for chemistry. Desperation doesn’t discern. It just consumes.
That wasn’t me. Not only was I not desperate, but I was a little too comfortable being single.
I didn’t invest $10K+ in a dating coach because I was desperate. I invested because I was done repeating old patterns. Strategy is getting honest about your desire and then building a pathway toward it with clarity, with guidance, and with God.
I had invested in every other area of my life, my business, my health, and my growth. Why would my love life be the one place I left to chance?
So no, I wasn’t desperate. I was ready. Ready to stop guessing. Ready to stop wasting time. Ready to become the kind of woman who could receive the kind of love I prayed for.
But before I could become her, I had to face the parts of me still holding on to old beliefs.
When I walked away from that relationship and got into therapy, everything shifted. My therapist helped me unpack my wounds, my conditioning, and the patterns I couldn’t see on my own. And when the fog cleared, I was 100% sure: God had given me this desire. And I was not going to let doubt, distraction, or misalignment steal it from me.
This wasn’t just about having a plan, it was about being in divine alignment.
Between 2023 and now, I’ve invested close to $12,000 in coaching. I joined Anwar White’s Get Your Guy program in October 2023. The program was $7,500 over six months—that’s $1,250 a month, less than some people spend on luxury items they’ll outgrow. And for me? It made perfect sense.
After starting the program, I met my now-husband that December. We became official in spring 2024, and he proposed in January 2025.
But the real shift wasn’t him. It was me. I no longer chased anything—not men, not clients, not friendships. I stopped striving and started trusting. I started existing, and I let what was aligned come to me.
And when he came, he came steady. Consistent. Intentional. Reliable. Joyful. He was deeply committed to my happiness before anything else. He doesn’t move unless it’s with care for my heart.
With him, there is no performance. No eggshells. No pressure. Just alignment.
We walk together, in purpose. I now have a partner who is in service to me, not in competition with me. A partner who lightens my load. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He helps me think. Helps me build. Helps me breathe. He makes my life easier, and that is something I had never experienced before.
I still reinvest in my love life by continuing to work with Anwar. His programs have taken me from dating, to courting, to exclusivity, to engaged, and now to being married. Because each of those phases required a new version of me. Because I had never been here before.
@shirleyvernae I hadn’t been on a single date in 2 years. Met my fiancé last year and got engaged 2 months ago. You’re the CEO of your love life. It’s time to act like it ❤️ # CEO ##Fiancé##Engaged##Relationships##Dating##Engagement
Through Anwar’s program, I was gifted the most pivotal mindset shift of them all:
That love doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. And that’s my new standard.
One of the most powerful things Anwar said to me was, “You can’t do the wrong thing to the right guy.” And that truth set me free.
Before working with him, I thought love had to be proved. Performed. Earned. I thought I had to be perfect. Healed. Small enough to fit into someone else’s version of love. But that was never true.
There are men who are devoted to creating ease in your life. Men who see your softness as strength and your boundaries as beauty.
My now-husband, Ty, is one of them. He is steady. He is consistent. And no matter how much I struggled, no matter how I tried to self-sabotage, he stayed anchored in one mission: to bring ease, to bring peace, to bring safety.
So the shift? I stopped performing. I started discerning. I raised my standards. I stopped doubting. And I let myself be held.
Yeah, the biggest shift was realizing I am worthy of love that doesn’t come with chaos. Love that’s safe. Love that’s solid. Love that’s soft.
That’s what happens when you stop settling and start showing up with faith, clarity, and strategy. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of your love life.
Being the CEO of my love life meant I stopped outsourcing it to luck, fate, or vibes. I no longer left it up to chance or timing, or wishful thinking. Just like I build businesses with vision, strategy, and intentional partnerships, I built a love life that reflects those same values.
A good CEO doesn’t try to do it all alone. A good CEO casts vision, brings the right experts to the table, delegates with wisdom, and trusts the process. That’s exactly how I approached love. I partnered with God. I partnered with mentors. I aligned my actions with my desires. That’s not control, that’s stewardship. And that’s what changed everything.
I knew sharing my journey online was going to stir something up. And it did. Some people were inspired. Some were uncomfortable. But their discomfort wasn’t about me. It was about what my story confronted in them: scarcity, shame, old beliefs about what’s “worth it” and what’s not.
And I’m okay with that. I’m not here to be liked. I’m here to be aligned. That’s my assignment.
To the woman who’s feeling discouraged, let me say this: Time is a tool, don’t let it become your tormentor. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. Your desire for love is not shameful, it’s sacred.
Don’t let what society says, what the media projects, or what a non-believer has spoken over you define what’s possible. The only thing that’s true is what God has said. And God has said, “All things are possible to him that believes.”
If you’re feeling stuck, let that be your invitation to do something different. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Get support. Find a coach, a mentor, a couple you admire—not the shiny ones on social media, but the ones who’ve walked through fire and still chose each other.
Date with intention. Choose love on purpose. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is never too late to receive it. There is strength in being seen, supported, and walking in purpose together.
And for my Black women especially, softness is your superpower. Discernment is your birthright. You are the prizeand the picker. Dating with intention isn’t about being aggressive, it’s about being aligned.
We are not desperate. We are divine. Even in your healing, even in your becoming, know this: you can never do the wrong thing to the right guy.
And the right guy? He’ll meet you right there: in your wholeness, and in your work-in-progress.
To keep up with Shirley Vernae Williams and her journey as a storyteller, producer, and love life CEO, follow her on Instagram @shirleyvernae and learn more about her work at williebstudios.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shirley Vernae