After much speculation, Rihanna finally confirmed that she is expecting her first child with boyfriend A$AP Rocky. Photos of the couple walking around New York City with the singer’s baby bump exposed spread like wildfire on the internet. Fans were shocked and happy for the fashionable couple.
rihanna and rocky so beautiful, so i know that baby bout to be gorgeous af.— ky 🦋 (@kyjanaee) January 31, 2022
So happy for Rihanna now is her time— chloexhalle (@LGoldenprofits) January 31, 2022
The “Diamonds” singer sparked pregnancy rumors last year when fans pointed out her consistently wearing baggy clothing. However, she denied the claims. Rihanna and A$AP Rocky have been friends for years before ultimately dating in 2020.
They have both even talked about having kids. In a 2020 interview with British Vogue, Rihanna revealed that she planned to have three to four kids in the next 10 years, with or without a man in her life. "I feel like society makes me want to feel like, 'Oh, you got it wrong …' They diminish you as a mother if there's not a dad in your kids' lives. But the only thing that matters is happiness; that's the only healthy relationship between a parent and a child. That's the only thing that can raise a child truly, is love."
And in the June/July 2021 issue of GQ, the Harlem rapper gushed about the singer calling her “the One” and spoke on fatherhood. "I think I'd be an incredible, remarkably overall amazing dad. I would have a very fly child. Very," he said. We agree!
Here’s a timeline of how their love began.
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky collaborated on the remix of the singer’s song “Cockiness (Love It)” and they performed together at the VMA’s that same year.
The singer starred as the leading lady in A$AP Rocky’s music video for “Fashion Killa.”
They were both spotted sitting front row at the Louis Vuttion show during Paris Fashion Week in June.
2019Jeff Spicer/BFC/Getty Images
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky walked the red carpet together at the British Fashion Awards (as friends.) They both were wearing Rih Rih’s Fenty brand.
Rumors began that Rihanna and A$AP Rocky were dating after she reportedly broke up with Hassan Jameel and was seen hanging out with the rapper.
The two teamed up to promote Rih’s Fenty Skin brand. They appeared in a video for GQ where the “Praise The Lord” rapper had to answer 18 questions from the “What’s My Name?” singer.
After reports confirmed that they were dating the “jiggy” rapper was spotted spending Christmas in Rihanna’s home country of Barbados.
Rihanna posted photos wearing the Amina Muaddi x AWGE LSD Gladi Thigh Heel, which Rocky designed in collaboration with the footwear designer.
The “Wild for the Night” rapper opened up about his love for Rihanna in GQ. "So much better when you got the One,” he said. “She amounts to probably, like, a million of the other ones. I think when you know, you know. She's the One."
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky made their red carpet debut as a couple at The Met Gala.
The couple "announced" that they are expecting their first child together. Click here to see more of the photos from her paparazzi baby bump stroll.
Congratulations to the parents-to-be!
Featured image by Taylor Hill/WireImage/Getty Images
Take Our 2-Minute Wellness Quiz To Up Your Self-Care Game!
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
What Are Intrusive Thoughts & How Do We Manage Them?
TW: some depictions of intrusive thoughts may be disturbing for readers.
Have you ever caught your mind drifting off to entertain the most disturbing scenarios imaginable? Maybe you can’t stop thinking of all the ways a loved one could pass away or worrying that you left every candle lit in your apartment to which you’d return to a home in ruins. If distressing ruminations like these have crossed your mind, you may be experiencing an intrusive thought.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted or distressing thoughts, images, or impulses that pop into your mind without your control or consent. These thoughts can be repetitive, unsettling, or even violent in nature, and can cause anxiety and frustration for those who experience them.
“Generally they're unwanted thoughts that come up in our head that interrupt what we're doing or thinking, and can feel very foreign,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. “It’s any thought that intrudes or interrupts what you are doing. They can be distressing and upsetting for us because it feels like we are not in control of them, and they're coming up out of nowhere and aren’t in line with how you normally think.”
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Certain trauma or stress can contribute to the development of intrusive thoughts, so having a challenging experience from the past or current life situations may trigger them to form. “An intrusive thought could come in the form of a flashback, image, or a thought about something that's happened to you,” Dr. Gooden tells xoNecole. “When it gets to the point where you feel like you can't function or make clear decisions, that's when intrusive thoughts become really challenging.”
While some of the 1 billion videos found under the #intrusivethoughts hashtag on TikTok would lead you to believe that these thoughts are nothing more than casual displays of our imagination going untamed. Intrusive thoughts are more than sticking your hand in a soap dispenser, wanting to cut all your hair off at 3 a.m., or having a random impulse to eat fake bread in public.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America reports that approximately six million individuals, equating to roughly two percent of the American population, encounter intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are often linked with obsessive-compulsive disorders, but they can also manifest in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Examples of Common Intrusive Thoughts
Because of the explicit nature of intrusive thoughts, they tend to cause shame and internal conflict in those who experience them. Although these thoughts can differ from person to person, these ideation can consist of:
- Violent or aggressive thoughts towards oneself or others, such as harming or killing someone;
- Sexual thoughts that are unwanted or inappropriate;
- Repetitive thoughts, such as a song or a phrase that keeps repeating in your mind;
- Contamination or germ-related thoughts or the fear of contamination and getting sick;
- Religious or blasphemous thoughts, such as questioning one's faith or having thoughts that go against religious beliefs;
- Doubts or uncertainty about one's own actions or decisions, such as fear of making a mistake or fear of not doing something right.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
That’s why Dr. Gooden encourages everyone to understand the difference between our fleeting thoughts and impulses and true, intrusive thoughts. “What level of distress does it cause and is it something you would never consider,” she says. “If you're finding that these thoughts are getting in the way of you living your life and that you're controlled by the thoughts, those are some signs that it would be good to get some support in navigating it.”
She also emphasizes the importance of understanding that while we may not always have control over our thoughts, we can control our behavior. “On TikTok, people are sort of blaming intrusive thoughts on their behavior, and our behavior is always a choice,” she says. “If we are in our right mind and we're not having a psychotic episode, our behavior is our choice — we are not obligated to follow any given thought that we have.”
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
With intrusive thoughts, it’s natural to question whether these thoughts are “normal” to have. However, these thoughts are not meant to define who you are as a person but simply indicate that you have a functioning human mind with automated thoughts that you, or any of us, can’t control. These thoughts may come, but they don’t have to be acted upon, nor do they define who you are.
“I've worked with clients in the past who say, ‘Why am I thinking these things? What's wrong with me?’ But if you're not acting on the thought, then it's probably not a huge issue,” Dr. Gooden says. “If you are thinking a harmful thought towards yourself or someone else and you are making plans to act on that thought, then yes, we need to do something about it.”
How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts
If you are struggling with managing unwanted thoughts, Dr. Aida suggests taking these tips to help manage your mindset when they occur:
- "Recognize that it's a thought and thoughts are just thoughts. We often put a little bit too much weight on our thoughts, and that can create a lot of distress. But remember that thoughts are not facts."
- "Having a thought that's disturbing or upsetting doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental illness."
- "Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, 'Huh, that was an interesting thought. I'm going to let that go. That thought is not helpful for me right now."
- "Ask yourself: is this helpful? Is it helpful for me to buy into this thought and believe this thought? Asking that question can be really helpful because we are not at the mercy of our thoughts. If it's not helpful, you can let it go."
Intrusive thoughts can feel bizarre and foreign when they come up, but they aren't inherently "bad." Our minds can sometimes be filled with random and inappropriate thoughts, but that's what our stream of consciousness does: it thinks. Fortunately, we can release those thoughts at any moment; you don't have to follow through with them.
And ultimately, not every TikTok diagnosis is one that we should label ourselves with.
"It's important for people to acknowledge what they're experiencing but not run too quickly to diagnose themselves with some mental illness or disorder," Dr. Gooden advises. "It ends with confusion, and we miss the opportunity to understand the people who really do have that mental health challenge."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images