'How I Treat You As A Husband Is How He's Going To Treat Me As A Wife': Porsha Williams On Submission

However, with all the negativity surrounding her relationship, the reality star is not letting naysayers keep her from a chance at happiness. The author of The Pursuit of Porsha: How I Grew Into My Power and Purpose recently sat down with Essence to speak about her upcoming marriage and the type of wife she plans to be to Simon.

When we were first introduced to Porsha, she was married to ex-NFL star Kordell Stewart. Their relationship provoked a lot of conversation about the term “submissive” as her castmates questioned the reality actress needing to ask her then-husband permission to do certain things.

Her castmates and fans deemed it a “controlling” relationship with Porsha not having a voice. While she is no longer married to Kordell, her views about being submissive haven’t necessarily changed.

“When it comes to me being submissive to my husband, I’m not going to change that. I’m just going to change who I’m submissive to,” Porsha said. “It has to be someone deserving, someone who understands what their power is. Their power is given to them through God, and through me as a wife. How I treat you as a husband is how he’s going to treat me as a wife.”

She does acknowledge, however, that her definition of being submissive during her marriage to Kordell didn’t serve her and that she now knows the correct way to go about it. “Back in the day, I didn’t understand what I had been given. I was playing a role, which was OK because I had to go through that to get where I am today,” she said.

“But back then, I was giving it all to a man and the way I was being submissive was to throw away everything Porsha was. To kill off Porsha, literally. That’s not what’s supposed to happen.”

She continued, “In my new relationship, I am Porsha. I am more Porsha than I’ve ever been. I’m taking her into the marriage and as I choose to revere my husband, choose to uplift him, and choose to go to him and inquire about something before I make a decision, that’s out of respect and that’s OK. He’s the right person to do that with and he’s not going to misuse it.”

The 40-year-old is giving fans an insight into her relationship and family with her reality TV show Porsha Family Matters and she recently announced that she has finally set a wedding date.