Necole Kane Shares The Most Important Lessons While Rebuilding Her Brand With 'Forbes'

Someone's dream is attached to the vision you've been sleeping on. Let that sink in for a minute. The vision you've been given is only yours, so I'm sorry to break it to you, but you're the only one capable of living out the destiny you were given.
Issa fact that someone you don't even know is waiting on you to bless the world with your purpose, and yet, for some reason, you spend most of your time doubting your ability. It's time for you to stop playing with your goals sis, someone else's game plan depends on it. Just ask our CEO, Necole Kane, whose dream made room in the industry for the vision of dozens of other women. To her, designing a life she was proud of was so important, that she shut down her already thriving business and started from scratch with new values.
If at first, you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again with new intentions. That's exactly what Necole did when she shut down NecoleBitchie.com in search of a business venture that aligned with her purpose. Four years later, Necole has successfully rebranded her business and invented a new formula for success that's based in self-love and positive affirmation. Since the site's launch and subsequent acquisition by Hollywood heavy-hitter, Will Packer, we have garnered millions of unique viewers and created a one of a kind community of women who respect and empower each other, and it all started with a woman who has a dream bigger than most people could see at the time.
She recently sat down with Forbes and gave us 5 important things to remember when forging a new path in a jaded industry, and we are taking notes:
Plan With A Purpose
Everything that looks good ain't good for you, and this is this principle also applies when it comes to business. When it comes to deciding whether an upcoming project will be a burden or a blessing, it helps to decide whether or not that endeavor aligns with your purpose and your long-term goals:
"It's so easy to get knocked off your path just because of opportunities that people bring to you. They may sound good at the moment but then you look up one day and you're way off the path that you had."
Surround Yourself With Bosses
You can't pick apples from a banana tree, and you can't expect to get solid business advice from someone who's never started or ran one effectively. That's why Necole says it's important to keep a tribe of experienced bosses around you to help you navigate uncharted territories. According to Necole, this advice came in handy when Will Packer offered her an acquisition deal for xoNecole:
"When I was pursuing an acquisition, I had this huge fear because I didn't know anyone that had ever sold a business before and the only black woman I knew that had sold a business at the time was Lisa Price [of Carol's Daughter]."
Necole said that although it's cool to get advice from your homegirls from time to time, it's also important to consult with mentors who have already pressed past where you are right now.
"Side to side mentorship is super important but I don't think we pursue it as often because we look at mentorship as someone that has been in the business for 'x' amount of years. Sometimes that's really not the case, it could just be pursuing mentors that are in fields similar to you - you guys can have an exchange of information, you can contribute whatever your expertise is and vice versa."
Know Your Audience
When it comes to your business, it's easy to say that "everyone" is your target audience because when it comes to customers who will spend a coin, we don't discriminate. But ultimately, to run a successful business you have to define, understand, and cater to a unique customer who is crazy about your product. For Necole, she found that xoNecole's tribe was comprised of predominantly Black women from Atlanta, so she packed up her things and moved to the big peach. Since then, our readership has quadrupled and she feels more inspired than ever before:
"The Atlanta move was the best move we could have made for the brand, that's where our audience is."
Don’t Forget About Mind & Body Maintenance
One thing Necole doesn't lack is body, child, just thinking about her makes me feel like I need to hit a few squats. But according to her, her bomb body and ferocious abs didn't come without hard work and discipline, both qualities that have helped her along her business journey as well.
"When I went into my fitness journey, that's when xoNecole started to really take off in terms of me pouring what I was learning from fitness and getting in the gym every day and the discipline it takes getting up at 5 am every morning to get your cardio in before work, getting your meals in on time."
To Necole, working out isn't a chore, issa gift; one that she takes full advantage of every damn day.
"As an entrepreneur, our whole day is a hustle and grind, and there is no space for things that fill us up and for me its fitness."
Put It On Paper
The Lord told us that if we have a vision, we should write it down and make it plain and this phrase is more than just some scriptural mumbo jumbo that your grandmother used to say, it's big facts. A little over a year ago, I wrote in a personal journal that I wanted to be paid to write. Today, I'm a full-time freelancer who works for one of the women who inspired me to be a journalist in the first place. Little did I know, only years before that Necole was somewhere writing intentions that helped my vision become a reality. Necole explained:
"I used to set intentions every morning. I would write out exactly what I wanted to happen. The day I started doing that was January 2016 and one of the things I wrote that day was 'You will receive a huge opportunity today.' And that's the day that Will Packer emailed me. I wake up every morning and I write down exactly everything, and I'm detailed. If I want 2 million new readers tomorrow, I write that down."
Read Necole's full interview here!
If you want to hear more about Necole's transitional story, come out to ElevateHER on Saturday August 3 in Atlanta where she will be discussing her career pivot for the first time in an intimate conversation with Dr. Key Hallmon. Click here to purchase your tickets today here.
Featured image by TAILIAH BREON.
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024









