In xoNecole's "How She Got Here", we uncover the journey of fearless, ambitious women at the top of their game with unconventional not-so-everyday careers. Instead of asking them about their careers, xoNecole dissects the hardships, rejections, and nontraditional roads traveled by these women to create the positions they have today.
It would be remiss of me to not pay homage to the woman who took me under her wing like a lost little sister and presented opportunities to me in the entertainment industry that sculpted me into the woman I am today. Maura Chanz is one of the leading creative minds behind Yara Shahidi'sUnguided IGTV series, director of creative media at 7th Sun Productions, and my Spelman sister.
When I first met Maura, she was a media intern at the BronzeLens Film Festival and ambassador for BET's "What's At Stake?", a student-led digital series in Atlanta. After a stint in front of the camera as a host for Bossip TV, she moved to Los Angeles and is now making the film and television industry her b*tch by creating content, making a name for herself, and living her best melanated life.
For this installment of "How She Got Here", xoNecole spoke with the TRIBE founder about her working relationship with Gen Z powerhouse Yara Shahidi, the ballsy move of packing up and moving to Los Angeles on a whim, and the qualities needed most when pursuing a career like hers:
Buying Her Big-Girl Plane Ticket:
Maura was no stranger to the Los Angeles lifestyle—seeing as how she had moved there before in her early teens to pursue an acting career—but she was determined to move back after an opportunity had presented itself. She knew that this was the time to bet on herself. "I think it's just knowing that you don't know that you're going to get another opportunity—and it was an opportunity to move. I may not have gotten another one. Not to say I wouldn't, but I just don't know. When you get that moment, you have to take it," she told xoNecole about mustering up the courage to pack up and book her flight to L.A., which she noted as "the best decision of my life." Under the apprenticeship and mentorship of Mara Brock Akil when moving out to Los Angeles, Maura further poured into her passion for entertainment production and continued to spread her wings into an industry that welcomed her with open arms.
"I think it's just knowing that you don't know that you're going to get another opportunity—and it was an opportunity to move. I may not have gotten another one. Not to say I wouldn't, but I just don't know. When you get that moment, you have to take it."
Maura credits Los Angeles for reigniting her spark, drive, and ambition within herself all over again, almost as if the battery in her back was surged with 30-times the original energy capacity. "It almost was like having to prove myself again. I had to regain a certain level of hustle, and I had established myself a little more in that space in Atlanta. Coming here to a new market was a steep learning curve," Maura admitted to xoNecole about having to play larger.
Though she was transitioning from independently producing content to her first official Cali gig working on OWN's Love Is, she rose to the occasion of running up a steep learning curve. "Yes, there's TV and things there, but a lot of the jobs are still coming from [Los Angeles]. They're bringing people there. Getting to play on the scale that I'm at, I don't think that I would have been able to do that in Atlanta."
Maura had the security of knowing that she could go back to her Georgia home whenever she would like, but she couldn't imagine herself flourishing more in the Atlanta industry than she already had especially because the job market was booming in the South because of the West Coast. Moreover, as someone who received her degree from Spelman College in Comparative Women's Studies, Maura is quite certain that she will always land on her feet in the alternative event that pursuing her dream did not work out the way she intended.
Lucky for Maura, she never has to turn around again. Though there may have been a few shortcomings, she doesn't have a single regret about her decision. "I really had to minimize my lifestyle: I had my own place in Atlanta, I had to get a roommate here. I was actually making more in Atlanta working at Bossip and then transitioning to a production role, I took a pay cut," she said about making some adjustments upon her move to Los Angeles.
"I really had to minimize my lifestyle: I had my own place in Atlanta, I had to get a roommate here. I was actually making more in Atlanta working at Bossip and then transitioning to a production role, I took a pay cut."
Maura knew that the reward was greater than the risk at hand, including the rewarding feeling of self-assurance and learning to trust her gut feeling. "You're a smaller fish in a big pond as opposed to a bigger fish in a small pond and sometimes in those types of situations, some people are going to drown and some people are going to rise to the occasion. It's just about your dexterity, your tenacity and just pushing through. Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made in my life because if I didn't take that leap, I would not be soaring like I am," Maura said to xoNecole before going into more detail about her latest venture with a certain actrivist we all know and love.
Photo courtesy of Maura Chanz
The Fateful Run-In With Yara That Turned Into An Opportunity of a Lifetime:
After ending her apprenticeship with the great Mara Brock-Akil around April 2018, Maura crossed paths with Grown-ish star and Gen-Z activist Yara Shahidi and her mother Keri, but this was not the first time they'd met. They actually met a year prior at ESSENCE Fest, but this time around Maura was developing a project and it was the perfect time to catch up. Once Maura let the young star and her mother in on her project development, they expressed immediate interest in learning more. Like the true go-getter she is, Maura offered to contribute her consulting services to the dynamic mother-daughter Shahidi duo who had their ABC deal coming up. Two years later, Maura is one of the creative minds behind Yara Shahidi's Unguided series on IGTV.
"Yara's such a dynamic person. I learn so much from her literally every day, and I wanted to bring the pillars of her life to something that was fun and engaging, but also something unfamiliar," she praised the young actress. Upon the beginning stages of conception, Unguided was brainstormed to be more than a stereotypical vlog collaboration through a social media platform with a Gen Z influencer. These non-traditional concepts included Yara not looking directly into the camera and hearing her end-of-day reflections in her journal about her daily experiences. "I wanted to share that piece and I think sometimes there is a lot of value of not doing things in the moment," she described the series.
"Yara's such a dynamic person. I learn so much from her literally every day, and I wanted to bring the pillars of her life to something that was fun and engaging, but also something unfamiliar."
For the debut episode, the production team, including Yara and Keri, invited Maura to Paris, France to which she agreed almost instantly. In Maura's mind, she wanted to pursue Unguided from the angles of what she wanted to know about Yara's mind and how she views the world. From building a personal relationship with Yara, it rang a bell that she was very passionate about her favorite author James Baldwin - which encouraged Maura to pitch the retracing of Baldwin's steps through Paris by "leaning into Yara's brilliance and mind for the delivery."
With the Shahidi team on deck, including Afshin Shahidi, Yara's father, on the creatives, each episode comes together seamlessly to tell the unguided stories of Yara Shahidi - pun intended. "A large part of my job is taking Unguided and ensuring that Yara's through line is through the projects that you see and Yara's values are visible and incorporated across different forms of media. Whether that be doing digital content, social content or even TV and film," Maura said as she continued to peel back the layers of Yara Shahidi for xoNecole. "People only know so much about her but she has an incredible sense of humor, she's really into all types of quirky things that people may not know so even ensuring those things that you may not think are innately Yara but I know they are." Today, Maura serves as the Director of Creative Media at 7th Sun Productions, which recently inked a first-look deal with ABC a few months ago. On her thoughts on the projection of the production company, she expressed her excitement to see Yara "in that producerial capacity."
"When Yara comes into a conversation, it's going to be elevated so I expect for the world to see themselves reflected all in this landscape, see people of color getting to exist and piercing that veil that we barely get to pierce. Yara and Keri are really passionate about being gatekeepers and opening that door wide for new emerging talent; they love collaborating in that way. I expect for you all to discover your new faves through the work that the company's doing," she boasted about her new role and what's next for 7th Sun.
To anyone who may be looking to collaborate with any established figure in the entertainment industry—especially on Yara Shahidi's level—Maura advises one thing: make it about them and not you. "The one thing you need to do is discover what's unique about them. It's about taking the time to learn that person. I know what makes her excited so when I'm producing and developing ideas, I know her so well at this point and that just comes from really paying attention," Maura said transparently about her creative process. "When you're coming into something and collaborating especially with somebody of Yara's stature, this isn't about my creative ideas. Maura's very different from Yara. As someone who is working with talent, it's not about my perspective, it's Yara's."
"When you're coming into something and collaborating especially with somebody of Yara's stature, this isn't about my creative ideas. Maura's very different from Yara. As someone who is working with talent, it's not about my perspective, it's Yara's."
Part of Maura's process is asking Yara about her interests, what she listens to and her own curiosities while entangling the story that they're both trying to tell. "We prioritize things that are important to her and I'm led by her. I think it's humbling yourself in some way and yeah, you may have brilliant ideas but how is that connected to the party that you're collaborating with? Whose platform is this being used on? Is that what their audience connects with? It's not about what's my vision because those things may be very different," she continued to challenge xoNecole readers about their perspective.
Photo courtesy of Maura Chanz
5 Lessons We Can Learn From Maura Chanz's Journey:
Change your perspective on hearing the word "no".
"I don't think I even ingest 'no's'. Maybe I've had one and I didn't even read it as a no. I can't think of one but I'm sure there has been one. It's just all about perspective."
When one door closes, another will open.
"I was fired toward the tail end of Love Is… and it was really just a steep learning curve. Coming in at that level of where you're assisting a showrunner who's producing and directing, I didn't come from having a background as a [production assistant] or really being outside of talent. I didn't have any behind-the-scenes experience. I actually got on unemployment and figured out what I learned from this.
"From the outside, it looked like a failure, but it wasn't. That led me to developing the project that got the attention of Keri [Shahidi] and Yara [Shahidi]. The bounce back was just taking a moment of stillness."
Confidence can get you in the right rooms.
"Confidence. A lot of people are creative and a lot of people have a lot of these things, but you have to believe that you deserve to be in this space. You have to believe that you have value, that you will change this industry, and that you have something to contribute. If you can walk with that confidence and remember that value, you will remain undaunted, and that's the biggest piece about this industry—seeing it through.
"This is not a 'you go through four years of school and you're a doctor' type of thing; you may not see the fruits of your labor for 30 years. Everyone's journey is going to be different because there's no linear path, but if you keep that confidence, you'll be OK."
Consistently create and the right opportunities will find you.
"Create. I've always been creative: I started my site, I was producing with Kofi [Siriboe], and what drew people to me was the work I was already doing prior to me pursuing other things with them that I created. I had respect, and I had something to show for my own pursuits. You can't wait to be on the set of a movie for that to be the first time you're creating anything."
Know your worth.
"I never doubted my values, knowing I have unique values in every space I'm in and not being afraid to share that."
For more information on Maura Chanz, follow her on Instagram or check out her official website.
Featured image courtesy of Maura Chanz
As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let’s do first things first — let’s define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of “What does platonic mean?”, the first thing that you’re (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of “of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex” (Merriam-Webster), “designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity” (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, “purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes” (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I’ll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word “platonic” actually come from? From what I’ve researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled “Symposium.” In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire; one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: “Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry.” A write-up on Merriam-Webster’s site stated that, “The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships.” Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that’s another article for another time, though (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”).
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word “platonic” is kind of used in “broad strokes” these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be “just friends,” I’m going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I’m pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally, even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I’ll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He’s super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often and some have told us that they assume that we’ve had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: “I told him, ‘He’s my brother. We would never mess around.'”
My Friend: “Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it.”
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: “Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives.” (That reminds me: check out, “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: “Girl, yeah. If I didn’t want to keep you in my life long-term, I would’ve tried to holla a long time ago!” And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these “for real?!” exchanges is, even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a “dormant seed” lying around somewhere…whether it’s one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life, we’ve had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren’t exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you’re not sure about “his”…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you’ve got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you’ve never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he’s someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it’s one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who’s been together for more than five years and I’ll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?”).
Yeah, just because you’ve filed someone in the “I see him as a good guy” category, that doesn’t automatically mean that y’all’s friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don’t get it twisted — I’ve considered him because, on so many levels, we “fit.” So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are “good friends” yet it’s not exactly platonic.
I’m not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would’ve been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn’t make you want to throw up in your mouth, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there’s a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
