

Who else is as excited as I am to watch the next episode of Love Is__ on OWN?
The budding love story between Nuri, the successful television writer, and Yasir, the broke, absentee father who's still living on his ex-girlfriend's couch, captured me within the first few minutes of its premiere episode and leaves me wanting more every damn time.
The series is inspired by the real-life love story of the show's creators, husband and wife producers and screenwriters Mara Brock Akil and Salim Akil.
Mara Brock Akil is the storyteller and producer of some of our favorite shows over the past decade including Girlfriends, The Game, and Being Mary Jane. The creative professional recently hit her stride in her new home with the OWN Network, and she is gaining even more die-hard fans. Every Tuesday night, Love Is___ gets all the trending Twitter love.
Mara Brock Akil, Michelle Weaver (Nuri), and Will Catlett (Yasir) recently sat down with The Breakfast Club to discuss the inspiration behind the show, how the actors approach playing the parts based off of their bosses, and how love truly is all around us.
Artists are known for drawing inspiration from their lives in order to create, and the Akils have found a way to share their compelling love story by way of their latest hit series. Mara said:
"I use the facts of my life as inspiration...Marriage is a construct of society but the heart committed 20 years ago."
The Black Lightning duo are not only best friends, but they have been creating together for quite some time. Their work with Akil Productions has garnered them a lot of success, and with proper boundaries, they've also managed to keep their marriage thriving. They recognize that love is the only thing that keeps marriages together, and stress the importance of a strong support system. When asked about the work/love dynamic, Mara says:
"He's literally my best friend… We create boundaries even for each project we decide going forward who gets the last say so that we don't carry that argument into the other aspect of our relationship. I think you know when your relationship is a little rocky, so there's been times where even families have had to step in. So it's also important who you surround your relationship around, who's your sounding board to pull you guys back together. Our parents have mediated for us. It gets rough."
The series is a reminder that love is, well, complicated. The plot is even more complex given the fact that this story is based on actual events, which ultimately puts a great deal of pressure on the show's cast to get it "right". Michelle Weaver, who plays Nuri on the show, says that she didn't spend a lot of time studying Mara, which allowed her to relate to the role from her own perspective. She told The Breakfast Club:
"I think that was what was good because I wasn't trying to imitate a human, I went in there free and just truthful. That's the great thing about Mara she's very simple the way she writes but she's very very deep, like life. You know life is very complex but yet simple. So, I'm glad I didn't because I was able to be free and just enjoy the process. And then after meeting Mara, she gave me direction and I was like, oh. She gave me the full view, and then from there, I knew this is where I'm going to go."
Will Catlett was also a relatively new actor when he was cast for the show. In order to prepare, he says he had to take small moments from his interaction with Salim Akil in order to truly understand his nuances and his deep love for his now wife. He tells listeners one of the most endearing nuggets when he says:
"One time, Salim, on the set of 'Black Lightning', when Mara came, he looked at her, and I promise you, the way this man looked at her was like he seen her for the first time but he didn't want her to go. So I was like OK...it was subtle, you know, and I was like OK, if I can get that, I'm good, I don't need to know nothing else."
Swoon!
Without dropping any spoiler alerts, she reminds fans that because she is a storyteller and using her own life as inspiration. Because her life parallels the story of so many Black Americans generation after generation, she knew she had a responsibility to depict her story with transparency. She revealed:
"We're still unpacking a lot of pain, and as a storyteller, I wanted to get this right. Especially because it's our story, especially because I honor and love this man and his family. Again it's inspired by, it's not direct. I wanted to get this right for us personally and I wanted to get this right personally for us black people...what's been depicted for our narrative, it's not done well enough."
Some of us believe in love at first sight, while others cast the theory aside as a myth. With that being said, we all know that something as simple as the way a person looks at you to capture your heart forever. Mara describes this phenomenon as seeing the other's light. We all need more lessons in recognizing the light in each other, and Love Is___ is a beautiful depiction of what that looks like. In explaining what drew Yasir to Nuri, she says:
"He was drawn to her light. No, he doesn't know her yet really, even after four hours... but you can recognize light in each other. I think if we start to look for and teach our children and reteach ourselves how to look for light in each other, and share our light...let's keep looking for light, who's feeding you? Oprah--cuz I talk to Oprah now [laughter]--Oprah's like, 'You go where the love is.' Let's teach that, let's show that: go where love is."
This show proves that you can find love in a package you weren't even expecting. Sometimes you have to just trust your instinct and open up your doors.
To check out the rest of the interview with The Breakfast Club, click here.
Love Is___ airs on OWN Tuesday nights, 10/9c. Have you been watching? What's your favorite scene so far?
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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