Now that you're all caught up on the couples who proposed and left the Pods engaged from our recap ofLove Is Blind Season 4, episodes 1-3 (if you haven't read that yet, find that here), it's time to enter episodes 4 and 5. The last two episodes of the first batch are usually reserved for the honeymoon phase of the couples' engagement, where the hard work of finding their person over the course of 10 days bears fruit in the form of an all-expense paid trip to Mexico, a step up from the previous season's "honeymoon" arc, let me tell you.
Not going to hold you, but similar to how we did the previous recap, there will be an intentional focus on the melanated cast members and their partners (sorry to these men, Paul, and Zack, and their respective love interests). They might come up here and there, though, because, as we also know, an important part of the "honeymoon" arc is the meet and greet with the other cast members, and since there were yet again love triangles present in this season, Micah might be name-dropped. Just sayin'.
Without further adieu, here's what you missed in episodes 4 and 5.
Spoilers most definitely are ahead!
After the Pods: Episodes 4-5 Recap
Kwame + Chelsea
We have made it to the honeymoon phase arc, where the couples touch down in Mexico after meeting one another in person for the first time and start to connect the dots between emotional and mental intimacy and physical intimacy. And physical intimacy doesn’t have to innately mean sexual, but for Kwame and Chelsea, whose conversations in the Pods weren’t shy about the physical aspects of the relationship, I am pretty sure that is what Mexico will mean for them.
I am relieved that Kwame admits early on that Chelsea is exactly what he needs. He just couldn’t see it in the Pods when he was so blinded by his “soulmate,” Micah. He honestly seems shook that the emotional connection they’ve established has made way for what has been such a fire physical connection.
(L to R) Chelsea, Kwame in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
The post-coitus glow the morning after told no lies. Chelsea confirmed that the next morning when she said Kwame exceeded all expectations when they made love for the first time, “setting the tone for the rest of our lives.”
What I will say about Chelsea is that she is a straight-shooter, and the energy she has was kept from day one, and there are receipts to prove it. Her confidence in herself, who she is, and what she wants are things I could never take from her. Though they aren’t my favorite pairing on the show, I do think they complement each other well, and I fuck with her sincerity. And then it all goes to hell…
(L to R) Kwame, Brett in episode 404 of 'Love Is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Somewhat.
When it's finally time to mingle with the other couples for the first time, Micah enters the chat, and Kwame seems like he can't break out of her spell for whatever reason. Mind you, Micah turned him down, but somehow he is pulled into 20-minute "closure" conversations with her where she is laying it on THICK, and instead of shutting it down out of respect for his fiancée, that is also in orbit, he is indulging heavy, but that's what happens when your "soulmate" starts saying to you everything you wanted her to say to you in the first place.
(L to R) Kwame, Micah in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Chelsea is externally unbothered by Kwame and Micah's back-to-back pool talks but internally seething, and understandably so. The intimacy, the flirtatious banter, the touching. A lot of it was inappropriate, but the touching took it up several notches in my mind, so I understood Chelsea's discomfort completely. Meanwhile, Micah assures Kwame, "I was all in with you." From what I saw, that was the furthest thing from the truth, but Kwame is wrapped around her finger and all the while jeopardizing the safety of his actual relationship with his fiancée in the process.
(L to R) Kwame, Chelsea in episode 405 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
But if you wanted Kwame to get checked, that won't come until much later in the episode when he and Chelsea have a private moment, and she makes it very clear that what happened between Kwame and Micah was inappropriate. Boundary set. Well done, Chelsea.
Marshall + Jackie
Right away, Jackie lets the cameras know that Marshall isn't really the type of man she usually goes for and would probably swipe away from in real life. She explains that "this experiment has really shown me that it's more than just what looks good." Jackie cleans it up when she proclaims her relationship with Marshall is deeper than that. Still, I gave a slight yikes at her statement, but I think I knew what she was trying to say. I won't go into full detail about Zack and Irina as a couple featured on the show, but when Irina first saw Zack, her energy was giving "immediately no," and she even told the dude he looked like a cartoon character. All I said was yikes.
I bring this up because sometimes Jackie's constant need to reassure the audience of how good Marshall is feels like she is reassuring herself of her physical attraction to Marshall. I think she is emotionally there, maybe even mentally there, but she is still warming up to the physical side, which... makes sense. While Marshall is all "hell yes" in regards to how attractive he finds her, Jackie is still playing catch up in that department. This couple may be a slow burn for that reason.
However, sis wasn't shy about saying she wanted to "test drive" the car before taking off the lot, if you catch my drift. I ain't mad!
(L to R) Jackie, Marshall in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
The pair leave the resort to go out and about in town later in the episode, where they have lunch. "You're like a real man," she tells Marshall. "You're not a weirdo, and you're not one of these bozos out here in the streets." Not out here in these streets, chile…
Sometimes-cringy use of AAVE aside, I do like that Jackie continuously owns the fact that her reverting to old behaviors is a hurdle she has to overcome in her journey to love Marshall the way he deserves to be loved by someone. Butttt, I also say to myself, you knew what show you were signing up for, so why not come here correct versus having to guide yourself to a place of readiness to be the woman you think Marshall needs? Am I missing something about this show, or what?
"I just don't want to push you away," she warns Marshall. I love that Marshall constantly reassures her, but it feels like she is convincing herself a little and also having to remind herself constantly of who Marshall is and what that could mean for her, which I don't know how I feel about quite yet. However, as someone who has also navigated her fair share of romantic relationships, I can attest that there's a little self-sabotage in all of us. I just hope that Marshall always remembers his value because I think it's easy to get caught up in someone else's storm when you find your worth in saving people. And I'm getting that vibe from him.
(L to R) Jackie, Marshall in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
They have cute moments, but it's a feeling I can't shake with them. That whole crying session at the end of what both of them described as "a great day?" I understand having emotion, but it felt like testing and that Jackie was trying to get Marshall to feel for her and with her, but at the same time, keep him at a distance even though he is trying to be there for her. We all have our baggage, and we all have to put in work to unpack said baggage, but at the end of the day, you have to know what's yours to carry and what isn't.
All in all, I think they will either balance each other out or that Jackie will end up being a lot for him. Between the forced AAVE and the glimpses of immaturity from Jackie, iono about sis. It isn't all her, though. I also don't know about sir because sometimes he seems wise, but somehow the way he is navigating his relationship with Jackie feels like it's in direct opposition to that said wisdom. But as they say, all wisdom isn't wise.
Sidebar: Forget my Jesse Williams resemblance mentioned in the last recap. Tiffany says that Marshall reminds her of the Fresh Prince, and now I can't unsee it. I see Jabari Banks, though, more than I see Will Smith.
Brett + Tiffany
Finally, the couple I'm here for. I had no doubt that their time in Mexico would highlight to me, even more, why I agree with Brett in thinking they're each other's perfect match. And knowing the history of this show, I could very well end up eating my words, but ion care, ion care! I am in the moment, and I am enjoying the steps they are taking in their pursuit of true love and the fact that they seem to have found that in each other.
I must say, something that really stood out to me during episode 4 and their time in Mexico is that while many were talking about comparing their ideas of what their partners looked like physically versus the reality of what they looked like when they finally met, Brett made it a point to explain to Tiffany during their date that he had "a picture not of what she looks like in person," but "an idea of her energy in person" based on how she leaves the people she touches and encounters. He reveals to her when he saw her, he thought to himself, "'She's the person I thought she would be.'"
(L to R) Brett, Tiffany in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Sir was fixated on attributes and her aura, and I was beaming at every word. What he expressed felt like such a welcomed departure from the typical "you don't look like what I thought you would" type conversations that are prevalent in a show format like this (and is currently an issue for another couple who just aren't couple-ing in Mexico like the others are, ahem Zack and Irina). Tiffany was no doubt speechless after his revelation, and I don't blame her. "You're perfect for me," she says eventually before he says back, "Thank you. And you're perfect for me."
There's a flow between that is undeniable, and that doesn't feel forced as some of the other connections on display.
Courtesy of Netflix
Later in the episode, it was such a wholesome moment when they exchanged some cocoa butter kisses during their morning after and talked about whether or not he snored before affirming each other.
Brett chops it up with his boys Kwame and Marshall later and confesses that there was no awkwardness with Tiffany at all, and it felt like they'd been together for years. That is how much they just melted into one another and fell into a rhythm with such ease. In episode 5, Brett confesses to the same group later (I love the guys' bond) that he is so happy. He has never been so open, so vulnerable, so feeling with someone before. The power of vulnerability, man.
What a beautiful thing to see someone who admittedly was so closed off initially be wide open in the name of love. Love a Black woman from infinity to infinity. If you know, you know.
Love Is Blind is now streaming on Netflix.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Choosing a destination that will provide you with the most memorable experience comes down to your own needs, and believe it or not, your love language can help with that. Our love languages are a guide to how we prefer to receive love and support, as well as how we like to give it.
Knowing about our love language can help build healthy relationships, better self-care routines, and improve our overall well-being. Imagine centering your travel around the way that you like to be loved and then experiencing that each moment of your trip. Every place around the world is unique and thus can provide a different vibe and feeling for us. Figuring out the places that align with our love language can be a game changer in how we experience the world.
Whether you’re a quality time girlie like me or prefer acts of service, here’s some of the best destinations to visit based on the five love languages.
Rome, Italy
The “Eternal City” is home to the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, and all the pasta and gelato that your heart desires. People who value acts of service love when things are done for them, and life is made easier. If that’s your jam, consider going to Rome and experiencing an authentic Italian dinner cooked by locals for you. What better act of service than having someone cook a full meal for you in their home?
No need to learn how to roll pasta dough or knead pizza. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the free-flowing wine while learning about Italian culture and having a 4-course meal provided for you. After that, take a guided city tour where someone else can show you around all the popular spots, skipping the lines and avoiding crowds.
Bangkok, Thailand
Having acts of service as your love language is not just about how others show you love but also about how you show it back. If you enjoy giving acts of service to others, consider heading to Thailand and visiting an ethical wildlife sanctuary where you can spend the day volunteering. Choose a place like Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand, where people are not allowed to touch or ride the elephants but can help with harvesting bananas, cleaning enclosures, or even helping out in the animal clinic. You’ll leave feeling a sense of pride and knowing that your time was spent in a way that made an impact.
If your love language is physical touch, you might want to visit...
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Guatemala
There are so many ways that we can experience the love language of physical touch, and Guatemala is a tropical sanctuary that can provide just that. This South American country is full of rainforests, volcanoes, and ancient ruins and can be the perfect escape to get some TLC. Consider staying at a luxury hotel like Villa Bokeh, where you can get your physical needs met through massages, yoga, or rowing on their lagoon. And if you want to explore off the resort, get those steps in with a hike of one of Guatemala’s volcanoes.
If your love language is gift giving, you might want to visit...
Dubai
There’s no better place to go to for all your shopping needs than Dubai. Whether you are a gift giver or like to be spoiled, this is where you need to be. To start, the Dubai Mall is the largest mall in the world at over 12 million square feet. With around 1,200 shops to choose from, you are bound to find something for just about everyone. Dubai is not a budget destination, so leave a little extra space in your luggage and prepare to spend a pretty coin while you’re there. If luxury gifts aren’t your thing, head to the Covent Garden Market, where you can shop local vendors for more affordable items.
If your love language is quality time, you might want to visit...
Costa Rica
Whether you’re planning a cute baecation or a solo trip, quality time is all about disconnecting and spending intentional time with your loved one or yourself. Costa Rica is an ideal location to be off the grid and be present. Spend some special time with bae at a nice resort, enjoying a couples massage, a trip to the rainforest, or a sunset dinner. There’s something about being off the grid that allows us to be more present with each other.
If you want to get in some DND solo quality time, book a stay at Nayara Springs Resort, located on the outskirts of Antigua, where you can enjoy uninterrupted and secluded relaxation while indulging in amenities like yoga classes and a hot springs pool.
Marco VDM/Getty Images
Tanzania
There are many ways to spend quality time with yourself or others, so why not do it in one of the most beautiful countries in the world? Explore Dar es Salaam with family, learn about the history of Tanzania, and then spend more quality time at the beach on Mbudya Island. If you are looking for a more romantic trip or quality time on your own, go out to Zanzibar, the archipelago off the coast of Tanzania. Here you’ll find some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and can stroll through the historical Stone Town.
If your love language is words of affirmation, you might want to visit...
Paris, France
If words of affirmation get you feeling all tingly inside, then why not take a trip to the "City of Love," Paris, France? Not only is Paris considered the mecca for love, but French is literally one of the world’s romance languages. So take a French lesson where you can learn how to speak beautiful words about yourself, or if you’re with bae, take a stroll by the Eiffel Tower at night while sharing some of the things you appreciate about each other.
Bonus points if you can say it in French.
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