
Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'

Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Meet Kiara Walker: The Bold New Voice Giving Men A Safe Space To Be Real On ‘xoMAN’
Kiara Walker was born to entertain. Her childhood experiences helped shape her destiny as a media personality, and now she’s taking her talents to xoNecole.
A Dallas, Texas native and Atlanta transplant, Walker will host the newest Will Packer Media and xoNecole production, xoMAN podcast. This fresh podcast series provides a platform for authentic and transformative conversations that bridge the gap between the introspection men crave and their real-life experiences.
xoMAN started as an Instagram Live series and is now a full-cast production, with Walker as the host. Initially, she was skeptical about joining as the new host of xoMan. Not because she doesn’t have the chops to thrive in the role, but because coming in on something that wasn’t her original idea initially seemed daunting for the media personality.
However, since she loves a challenge, the CockTales: Dirty Discussionspodcast host embraced the task with an open heart and mind.
Courtesy
“I was like, this is a cool concept, so I’m so glad that they decided to turn it into a podcast,” Walker tells xoNecole. “It’s been interesting to take somebody else’s idea and try to turn it into a thing, put it together, and bring it to fruition. I am anxious, nervous, and all things, but above all, I’m excited.”
When xoNecole's managing editor Sheriden Garrett approached Walker to take on the position, it felt like fate. She had previously attempted to get Garrett on her CockTales platform about six or seven years ago due to her expertise in the love and relationship space.
“I was like, wait, y’all listen to the show? And you want me to host a show where I’m only talking to men? And I’m listening to them and not giving them a hard time? I say that because sometimes I feel like, on my show, I may come off like I don’t even like men," she says.
"I love men, but it can be frustrating sometimes on that platform, social media, and other places when they continue to regurgitate the same rhetoric about what I like to call Twitter topics, like constantly talking about who’s paying as a man, as a woman. You should do this. You should do that…It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
A Howard graduate, Walker almost didn’t enter the world of media after listening to advice from elders who said she would make a great lawyer because she loves to debate topics and sometimes argue (haha).
"It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
After traveling to the nation’s capital to study political science, Walker soon discovered that her only motivation for becoming an attorney was the potential income and witnessing how boss women like Erika Alexander’s Maxine Shaw character on Living Single would look in their suits as career women.
“I realized that this was for real,” she says, studying law at Howard. “This is a lot of work, and when you think about what you do, I was like, this is not a performance, and I just wanted to talk. I wasn’t trying to defend anyone.”
A visit to a fair showcasing the different organizations on Howard’s campus, combined with her affinity for celebrity gossip and entertainment news, ultimately led Walker to explore a radio career. Soon, she auditioned for a show and landed the gig. By the spring semester, she was on the radio, ultimately leading her to switch her major to journalism with a concentration in broadcast news.
Soon after earning her degree in the field, Walker decided she didn’t want to do anything related to hard news. Instead, she became involved in lifestyle content. She used her friends' love of hearing her stories to motivate her to get into podcasting.
The rest is, as they say, history.
“Before podcasts became what they are, I was in a living room with a microphone before ultimately moving to a studio and refining the show. I loved it and knew people were listening because I monitored the analytics and everything," she explains.
"When we decided to do a live show, the show sold out in two weeks, and I was so nervous. I was like, 'Are we ready? Are we gonna be able to sell out this venue?' We didn’t have any sponsorship. We were still independent and had to front the money for everything.”
Courtesy
“When they sold out in two weeks, not only did I price my tickets too low, but I thought, wow, we’ve got something. I was like, people spent money to hear me and my co-host talking about our shitty love lives. This is wild, all from an idea in my head. It made me feel like I was on the right path and encouraged me to stop doubting myself. I have imposter syndrome," she reveals.
"Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do. I love it. No matter how many sleepless nights I have, I will continue to have bags under my eyes until the end of time because I’m enjoying it.”
"I have imposter syndrome. Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do."
In between garnering a strong social media presence for her work as a podcast host, lifestyle influencer, and beyond, Walker has managed to use her many gifts and talents, like cooking, and most importantly, giving a strong opinion about the things she does (or doesn’t) believe in to carve out a lane of her own.
As she embarks on this chapter as the host of xoMAN, where she has already spoken with actors Devale Ellis and Skyh Black and Dear Future Wifey podcast host Laterras R. Whitfield, Walker hopes that it encourages people, especially women, to look at their male counterparts from a different perspective.
“I hope that anyone listening can listen to the first few episodes, hear how different each man is, and learn to let down whatever preconceived notions you have about me or a specific man, whoever it is in your life," she says. "Just listen, talk to them, ask them how they feel, and listen with an open mind, without thinking that you already know what the answer is.”
“I just hope that people learn to, again, not put people in boxes and make the other person, whoever it is, men specifically for this show, but sit down and talk with an open mind and listen to understand, not to respond. Help someone feel safe.”
xoMAN officially launches on Tuesday, June. 17.
Feature image courtesy